mummyanddisableds-blog

[mummyanddisableds-blog]

You dont look ill!

Wow, trying to explain to them how you feel to be told you'll be ok, you just need to get on with it, you dont have time to be ill. They act as if it's a choice believe me I would love it to be a choice so I can do more things, get dressed unaided, have a nice peaceful bath not having to have help in the shower, not falling over and having your little one bring you a blanket as hubby was upstairs and came rushing down, not having visits to hospital, having tests, procedures ect.

I'm sure if they lived a day in my shoes they would understand but for now I have to put up with small minded people who dont want to accept this is my life!

[mummyanddisableds-blog]

So this is most mornings, trying to get out of bed is a daily struggle even on 'good days' but the fact we keep trying shows how strong we are. I'm very lucky my husband is my carer and helps but I'm even luckier my little one is so caring and tries to help, they will take my hand to try and help me stand up, or move my legs for me when I cant, they will pass me my Walker and on times where I fall they bring me a blanket and lay with me until my husband gets to me. You can look at life 2 ways and its sure as hell easier to always focus on the negatives but when you have amazing people in your life whether friends or family that will help it makes it easier

trying to start my day when i’m in a flare…

[mummyanddisableds-blog]

How do you feel........

One of those questions where you never fully know how to answer, do you answer truthfully and say exactly how you feel- all your aches and pains, how anxious you feel, how low and depressed you feel, how tired you are etc if you were honest you would probably still be telling them how you feel once they are asleep so the phrase "I'm fine" tends to be the one to use. You have certain people you can talk to about how you truly feel but you always get a sense from people whether they are asking cause they truly care or whether they are just saying it to be polite!

Your always told honesty is the best policy however when your honest does it actually help, I find the more honest I am with how I feel the more pressure I feel to be 'FINE' like if you tell someone your feeling anxious about something they make you feel worse by saying you were ok about it last week or everyone goes through it, it makes you feel worse about how you feel. Or cancelling plans cause you are to unwell to go and get told you were fine yesterday so why you not today or you done it last weekend so why cant you do it today......

What's your favourite phrase to use?

[mummyanddisableds-blog]

Birthday party planning

Grrr well this is a new one on me trying to plan little ones birthday and having to ask at a childrens party area if its disabled friendly, to be told they only have a couple of parking spaces outside and although inside is all on one level they have no disabled toilets! How in this day in age is this still happening? Surely they should think about the basics when setting up a business that should cater for all needs??

That's a no for there then!

[mummyanddisableds-blog]

Anxiety,

So little one has started nursery! Cant wait for them to make friends and socialise but noone prepares you for the anxiety. Leading up to the week they started and panic attacks kicked in, put on medication just to sleep and not feel so worried about it. The day comes and we take little one to nursery and they loved it walked in fine played didnt even notice I left! Thought great it's not as bad as I thought, then coming home to the quiet, constantly crying, worrying are they ok? are they being treated well? are they constantly crying for me? thoughts just running through my head. Pick them up and see them crying doing all you can to reassure yourself that you done the right thing. Having to take them back and then seeing them crying and screaming for you. All you can do is leave not letting them see you cry having panic attacks just not knowing what to do with yourself. Thankfully the preschool text with updates letting us know how they are getting on, but still have those niggly thoughts are they telling you the truth or just what they think you need to hear!

Having days where you cant get out of the house so cant take them yourself then worrying how they have gone in or if anything has happened or whether or not they even realise your not there!

Negative thinking really takes over your life it's so hard to see the positives especially with anxiety.

Should be thinking;

They are socialising, enjoying the peace and quiet, they are developing, they are growing up, it's good for them, they need this.

Every parent goes through the same (or so I'm told constantly) however noone really talks about how they really feel about it.

[mummyanddisableds-blog]

ABOUT ME

So this is my first post, so a bit about me I am a mum to a beautiful 2 year old, it's the most amazing feeling in the world however one of the hardest. I am disabled, I have up and down days, days I can make it outside, days I am stuck in bed, days where I make it out of bed but only to the sofa! Its so hard trying to explain to a 2 year old that mummy cant do the things that daddy does with him ect. His daddy (my husband) is also my carer and is amazing although he has his moments! I was told to start a blog about how I cope, what I do, struggles etc to try and help myself deal with it and to try and help others if I can.

Thank you for reading 😘