muppet-lad

[muppet-lad]

stupid snoot child was so desperate for fetch she tried to steal an orange out of my hand bc it looked like her ball

[muppet-lad]

Shut up m'dudes, it's a national holiday

[muppet-lad]

You're about to close on your very own, suspiciously affordable and comfortable house. Just before you sign the contract, the realtor shows you the required legal disclosure: your new house is haunted by the type of presence you'll get from this spinner wheel.

Of course it is.

[muppet-lad]

never in any other situation is the 'everyone here hates me for saying hi' feeling as strong as when youve just joined a discord server. 🙂‍↕️ everyone here are bestipals and i am the tapeworm <- diagnosed with anxiety

[muppet-lad]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[muppet-lad]

we're so back

[muppet-lad]

me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

[muppet-lad]

I'm glad that people are still having fun on tumblr even after we found out about the frightening ghoul that reblogs posts but doesn't say anything

[muppet-lad]

everyone shut up and look at this

[muppet-lad]

me when someone complains about something that's been genuinely bothering me too but i just brushed it off because i was worried that i was just bitchy/callous/sensitive but now I feel Vindicated

[muppet-lad]

do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

[muppet-lad]

Feeling rough lately.

[muppet-lad]

wrote a whimsical little poem about my shadow but fucked up and accidentally created a feeling of gentle quiet melancholy that cannot be escaped

[muppet-lad]

Is anyone else ever genuinely shocked when you find out you have an impact on someone’s life? A coworker can be like “I’ve missed seeing you” and I’m just like “???? you?? missed me????? My presence has an effect on your daily experience???? I affect things??? W h a t ? ? ?”

[muppet-lad]

[muppet-lad]

does anybody else have a discord server thats only yourself and nobody else exclusively used to send images from your mobile phone to your tablet or computer