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Be Not Afraid (Ellie Black)

An angel came into my room all like BE NOT AFRAID The angel was in flickering black-and-white or in Technicolor depending on the angle The angel was a giant rabbit six foot three or actually the angel was just some guy in a coat The angel was like looking in a mirror but only out of the corner of your eye at night The angel said WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON The angel said I CAN SENSE THE INTENSITY OF YOUR LONGING YOUR LOVE THE WEIGHT OF YOUR DEVOTION NOT TO GOD BUT HUMANITY DOESN’T IT SUCK I said sure he said LOOK WE HAVE THE SAME EYES and so we did numerous and blue the angel said I’M HERE FOR YOU I said okay but as in I’m your friend or as in I’m here to exhort you to abide by the will of God and we both laughed I said fine what’s God’s will for me then He said through a thousandth mouth I could not see: YOU MUST BE VERY CAREFUL AND YOU MUST BE KIND YOU MUST BE AFRAID YOU MUST NEVER BE AFRAID YOU MUST BE THE CONDUIT THROUGH WHICH THE WORLD SEES ITSELF A MIRROR HELD INFINITELY UP TO ITSELF EVERYONE WILL LOVE YOU NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT THIS YOU MUST BE DECORATIVE YOU MUST BE SUBSTANTIAL YOU MUST BE HYPOTHETICAL YOU MUST BE FOOLPROOF YOU MUST BE FOOLED YOU MUST BE SORRY YOU MUST BE SORRY YOU WILL ENGAGE IN MINOR FORMS OF PROPHECY AND IT WILL NOT TURN OUT WELL FOR YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT THIS YOU WILL BE ARRAIGNED ON CHARGES OF DESIRE YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED WANT WANT IS ALL YOU WILL HAVE YOU MUST FORGIVE YOU MUST NEVER BE FORGIVEN YOU MUST NOT DO WHAT GOD HAS WILLED FOR YOU EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH WILL BE CHANGED AND FORGET YOU YOU MUST DESTROY YOURSELF YOU MUST ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DESTROYED IT IS FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND THAT YOU DO THIS and I said where will you be Will you stay with me I said hello?

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I asked several people I know if this was the most devastating song and some of did not think it was devastating.

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"We create for him a sacred opportunity to reveal life options and to make them a useful tool for his/her own benefit..."

--Ilan Lev, regarding bodywork

 It is not a path of proven answers rigidly and mindlessly formulated, which disrupt and entrap any true query.

Our way is the true way of quandary, wonder and learning. We walk on a path of permanent examination without hackneyed phrases and without understood axioms.

The practitioner approaches the patient with these tools, and offers our searching tools while paying much attention and awe, with repeated movements that from some place set afloat the pieces of knowledge that the patient needs.

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'You Were Bigger Than the Sky, You Were More Than Just A Short Time' Sally J. Han, C-Print, 2023

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'Last Night Dream' Sally J. Han Studio, Gallery Belenius, 2023.

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brushing my teeth to merzbow

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everyone in my work has baby pics as their Slack profile photos but mine is this prepared piano and one time the associate director asked me why my baby pic was phones in a piano and I was just like “that’s what I was as a baby” and sometimes u have to go to the grave w your lies idk 

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“He himself, facing a firing squad, would not understand too well the concatenation of the series of subtle but irrevocable accidents that brought him to that point.”

One Hundred Years of Solitude, 1967. Gabriel García Márquez.

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ren hang

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“Walking north toward Haleiwa, he felt himself sloughing off multiple curses he hadn’t known were on him-- ones for being reserved and repressive, minimizing novelty, viewing everything defensively. 

“They talked garrulously on new topics. They skipped and galloped. They saw a monkeypod tree with the Yoshida Effect. Kay described a short story...”

Leave Society, Tao Lin. 2021. 

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“Li stared out his window at the ocean, thinking about his microbiome. It was hard to change his microbiome because the first microbes to colonize his body had formed biofilms-- microbial communities protected by self-produced polymer matrices.

The past was like a biofilm, he thought experimentally. It couldn’t be destroyed or suppressed. It had to be replaced gradually, with emotion-charged information, story-embedded ideas, memorable stories.”

Leave Society, Tao Lin. 2021.

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“Residue of Memories” Jee Hwang. 2008.