mysecretframeofmind

[mysecretframeofmind]

My soon to be fiancé asked my dad for my hand in my marriage. I love that.

He did it over breakfast at a fancy hotel restaurant in New York City. Makes us sound richer than we are (gold digging stepmother who’s drained my father dry) but I love that for me anyway lol.

[mysecretframeofmind]

I’m planning a wedding. I can’t believe it’s true.

I have dresses ordered. photographers booked. I have hair and makeup, I have venues, I have save the dates going out, I have florals being put together, I have food and drinks and dessert being planned out… I have officiants and people walking me down aisles, I have custom designed rings….

Most of all I have the most amazing dream come true of a man who loves me. Without whom none of this would be happening lol.

At 41, I even have a friend the same age who’s planning her wedding at the same time as me to talk about it with. Like, that is absolutely mind blowing to me.

I have been waiting ALL my life. At least since I was 13, which is around when girls usually start dreaming about their forever loves and their weddings. Of course I’d already been crushing on a boy since I was 6 by the time I was 13.

I cannot believe that I am planning my very own wedding.

And there ain’t better be no war with Iran getting in the way of any of it!!!!

Thank you thank you thank you Jesus.

[mysecretframeofmind]

I’ve decided that I’d just like to stay out of people’s business and focus on minding mine. Instead of trying to interfere and speak an opinion on their personal lives, or their behavior, or their decisions, I will simply let the Universe take care of it instead of getting in the way of whatever lessons it might be trying to teach them.

[mysecretframeofmind]

Trauma kids tend to think that people should make their adult lives easy on them because their childhoods were hard.

Nobody owes you that. Life is hard for everybody.

The only thing that will make your life easier is pursuing emotional healing like it’s your job (which means letting go of these asinine expectations) and working your ass off.

There is no life where working your ass off isn’t required.

[mysecretframeofmind]

Trauma kids tend to think that their parents need to bend over backwards to suffer injustices on their behalf and for their benefit as payment for the trauma that they went through.

This isn’t true.

70% of the world goes through trauma. Your parents went through trauma.

You’re not special, kid. Nobody on this planet owes you.

[mysecretframeofmind]

I don’t want to make things.

I don’t want to design.

I hate the idea of being small and I don’t want to do anything that will be small.

I also hate the idea of being known by people and having to deal with them.

I don’t want to teach.

I don’t want to do something for which the end is of one of humanity’s meaningless pursuits - fashion, for example.

I don’t want to do something meaningless.

I don’t want to be working in software programs all day.

I don’t want to be working outside if my home all day.

I don’t want to be traveling all day or all the time.

I don’t care to encourage humanity. I think this world sucks and most of our lives is just working to survive and chasing things that are meaningless.

[mysecretframeofmind]

He’s literally tall, dark, and handsome. So freaking handsome. And the most gorgeous smile.

He’s everything I ever wanted.

[mysecretframeofmind]

My man remembers how I watched Annie growing up with my grandpa and it’s such a special memory to me, exactly what tiny portion of food will fit in my stomach, and my favorite treats from anywhere.

He pulls me outside to look at stars and birds and deer because love deer and a rare sighting of snow in North Carolina because he knows I love snow.

There are no words for how perfect he is.

[mysecretframeofmind]

He loves me so much. So freaking much. He truly, truly loves me. It is the truest love I’ve ever known and witnessed. He is my every dream come true. Truly, the best man on the planet. I love him so insanely much. I won’t ever again exist without him because I won’t be able to. If he goes I go. He is my everything. Without him, there is no joy in living. He is the best thing, the best human I have ever known.

[mysecretframeofmind]

If we evolved from apes/gorillas or whatever, then why would they continue to exist alongside of us, never evolving themselves?

Squashed that theory. Boom.

[mysecretframeofmind]

Dear only son in the family,

I’ve seen the worst of you and now I can never believe the good you try to portray. It all only ever looks completely fake to me.

Your dad and I know who you really are.

We know when you’re only making an effort to save face and when you’re only making an effort because you realize if you don’t, you’re gonna end up as the lonely fuck that you deserve to be, and that would hurt your narcissist pride too much.

So you put on your act.

But we see right through it.

It would take years of consistent good to even believe a smidgeon of it was real.

But still that will probably never happen.

You are evil.

God told me himself.

[mysecretframeofmind]

Your contempt will not tempt me to make less of myself for your enjoyment.

[mysecretframeofmind]

How much purpose can one have or live inside a house?

[mysecretframeofmind]

My goal is to be as disconnected from technology as possible.

[mysecretframeofmind]

I’ve always loved modern conveniences, and I still deeply appreciate them now, but I have more and more of an urge to pour into connecting with the natural world. The pre-technology world. The pre internet world. I want to bake bread, I want to grow things, I want to read only books, I want to wear clothes made out of natural materials instead of plastic. I want to use the rest of my working life to save animals, not corporations. I want to spend my time in the country, not cities. Want to run away from modernism.

The magic is in the natural world.

It’s the unnatural that have poisoned our world the most.

[mysecretframeofmind]

He brings me heart soaring joy every single day.

[mysecretframeofmind]

Diamonds are a scam.

I asked AI why diamonds are called “diamonds” but everything else is a “gemstone.” He said:

Actually, "diamond" is also a gemstone - it's just become so culturally significant that it's often discussed as if it's in its own category, but this is mostly due to successful marketing rather than geological classification.

The cultural dominance of diamonds can be traced largely to De Beers' marketing campaigns starting in the 1930s. Some key historical points:

1. Before the 1930s, diamonds weren't the default choice for engagement rings. Other stones like sapphires and rubies were equally popular

2. De Beers launched the "A Diamond is Forever" campaign in 1947, which:

- Created the cultural connection between diamonds and eternal love

- Established diamonds as the "expected" engagement ring stone

- Positioned diamonds as uniquely valuable and prestigious

3. De Beers also:

- Controlled roughly 85% of the world's diamond supply for much of the 20th century

- Created the "two months' salary" guideline for engagement rings

- Carefully controlled diamond supply to maintain high prices

- Marketed diamonds as an investment (though they typically don't retain resale value well)

In geological/mineralogical terms, diamond is simply one of many gemstones. Other gemstones like rubies, sapphires, and emeralds were historically considered equally or more valuable than diamonds in many cultures.

The perception of diamonds being "different" from other gemstones is largely a result of 20th-century marketing rather than any inherent geological or value-based distinction.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​