mytholympus
mytholympus
mytholympus
353 posts
still waiting to be smited by the gods
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mytholympus · 1 month ago
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Demeter: I just can’t believe Persephone! I mean, of all people- she chose Hades?!
Hera: Well, it could be worse.
Demeter: ?
Hera: She could’ve picked Zeus.
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mytholympus · 2 months ago
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Penelope to Odysseus: I’m so hungry I could eat Nausicaa
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mytholympus · 3 months ago
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Hades: My love language is funds of affirmation, acts of money, money touch, quality money, and public displays of cash
Aphrodite:
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mytholympus · 3 months ago
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Hades: Actually yes, I did notice that social cue, I just had no idea what to do with it
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mytholympus · 7 months ago
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Zeus: I heard you were talking bad about me.
Hera: Do you want to hear it again or did you get everything?
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mytholympus · 10 months ago
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Eris: My dad has daughter issues.
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mytholympus · 10 months ago
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Not a single phone in sight, just people living in the moment. 😇😇
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mytholympus · 10 months ago
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Hades: Everybody SHUT UP!!!
Zeus: What?!! What happened?!
Hades: Nothing. I just wanted everyone to shut up.
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mytholympus · 10 months ago
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Apollo: I think I’m bi
Hermes: Which one?
Apollo: What do you mean?
Hermes: Bisexual? Bilingual? Bipolar?
Artemis: I know! A bitch.
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mytholympus · 11 months ago
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Ares: What the fuck are daddy issues? Just traumatize your father back.
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mytholympus · 11 months ago
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Zeus: Men suffer too.
Hera: Not enough.
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mytholympus · 1 year ago
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*Hera finding out about Dionysus*
Hera: YOU’RE ZEUS’S SON?… THAT UNFAITHFUL,DOUBLE-CROSSING, TWO-TIMING ASS OF A HUSBAND! I am going to kil-
Dionysus: WAIT! But I’m the god of wine!
Hera: -keep you safe… I’m going to keep you safe is what I was about to say!
Dionysus:
Hera: …Do you have a wine list?
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mytholympus · 1 year ago
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Dionysus: No, mom, I’m not high. My eyes are red because I’m evil
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mytholympus · 1 year ago
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Dionysus: If I keep losing my keys I might jump out of a window!
Hades: Dio, what did I tell you about saying stuff like that?!
Dionysus: …
Dionysus: If I keep losing my keys I might… push somebody else out of a window?
Hades: Thank you.
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mytholympus · 2 years ago
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*Apollo struggling to open a jar*
Artemis: Allow me
*She makes it tighter*
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mytholympus · 2 years ago
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Hades: I notice that you’re wearing a shirt. Is everything okay?
Zeus: You fucking-
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mytholympus · 3 years ago
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Zeus, wearing a new shirt: Thoughts?
Hera: And prayers.
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