naajma

[naajma]

character x fem! reader

can be read as any character you want and see fit :)

tw : a bit of angst if you squint, unrequited feelings, misunderstanding, a bit of NSFW

I didn't proofread, so sorry if there's any mistake, english isn't my first language.

have fun!

She swore it was lust, which that day pushed her to embrace him. As much as he swore, it was purely physical attraction that made him praise the ground she walked on that night. That's what they agreed on. Too much alcohol, her skirt fitted her hips a bit too well, his brown hair looked soft to the touch, and the night was dark. And, shadow often hides the darkest sins as her skirt falls on her ankles, and his hair is now tangled in her fingers. He was panting against her ear, compliments falling from his lips as if it came naturally, as if praising her was a second nature for him, his calloused hands gripping and tightening against her skin, and for the first time since they met, he called her gorgeous.

Teasing and bickering was the norm for them. They'd argue on their last breath if the occasion presented itself. Any sweet word was forbidden as long as they stood next to each other. She made fun of his hair every day, as much as he made fun of the way she looked without her glasses. Ignoring how he froze upon the sight of her when she took them off. Turning a blind eye to the way they glanced at each other when they were sure the other wasn't looking.

That's what friends do, they joke around, never take anything seriously, chat often, spend every free minute of their time together. Yeah, a friend never let his friend pay for her drink, never let her even pull out her credit card, hold her umbrella for her, walk an extra 20 minutes to walk her home, gives her the only empty seat in a bus. He was the best friend ever, he held her hand when she broke up with her boyfriend, made fun of him for hours saying how much he was better than him. Told her to forget about him and that she could come to him, just like she did when just like her, his girlfriend left him. There was nothing going between them, they just got out of a relationship after all, it's just... Their humor matched perfectly, they were the only one able to match their bickering, to not take it to heart when they were a bit too mean. That's right, he only held her by the waist so she wouldn't fall in the bus after a sharp stop, she only brushed his hair because a leaf fell on him, he waited for her hours on end because he didn't feel like taking the bus alone. And God forbid, they only kissed that night because they were drunk.

The week after that too. They were friends. And friends make mistakes, and they don't hold grudges. They tell the other how tempting their lips look, how well their top looked on them, how much he liked her thighs in that skirt, how pretty the scars on her back looked and how soft her skin was against his. Oh and, friends tell each other they like them. That she is like no other, and he never felt such thing before, and it's only pure and sincere friendship that made her grab him by the belt and kiss him against that wall. It's not their fault his belt was loose that day and her skirt was a bit too wide on the hips. And, oh, it was a mere coincidence that his hands found their way to her bra and opened it, nor was it that her shirt wasn't covering her anymore. It was just a very warm night.

"We need to have a discussion sober" he only said that to make sure she didn't feel sick from the alcohol, to check on her well-being as any good friend would do, and for the same reason he held her hand until she was back with her friends and he felt, leaving her with only a kiss on her hand and a promise.

It was just lust, and now that she saw him again after that night and they only exchanged short greetings and shared a cigarette, she was sure of it. They were friends, so much that when her ex boyfriend accused her of betraying him because of what they did, they laughed, after all, nothing really happened. Then why did he stand proud in front of her ex boyfriend and smiled triumphantly at the boys that desired her, and why the hell was he acting like this? Their usual banter felt fake, they jumped at every touch and couldn't hold each other's gaze.

It was just lust wasn't it? That's why he approached her later that day to finally have this sober conversation, she smiled at him waiting for any word to come out of his lips, for reassurance that... That what exactly? She wasnt so sure anymore, they didn't like each other that way, or at least she doesn't think so, what if he was scarred that she had feelings for him, that their friendship was ruined, that maybe she hoped for... For more.

"I don't like you if that's what you're afraid to hear" she said that in a matter of fact tone, as if they both hoped for that, as if that was the only possibility. He only chuckled, bitterly perhaps, she couldn't tell. He pulled out another cigarette and reassured her that he didn't either, that they couldn't date anyway, because... Well, they have to leave in 2 months and... And what ? For a moment they looked at each other, as if to convince the other, or maybe just themselves, that yes, it wasn't meant to be. It was better this way after all. That's what friends do.

Jokes became more personal, teasing held a hidden meaning and their eyes lingered a bit too much where friends shouldn't look. Mean bickering was welcomed by half assed smiles and pained looks, conversations were heavy and for a reason they both didn't know, others seemed to think their relationship had another meaning. But it's okay, they were just friend, who would listen to empty rumors, well yes he did hold her hands a bit longer than he should when he passed her his cigarettes, and yes he nearly didn't have class that day yet he was there at 10am just so she wouldn't be left alone, and perhaps they got home at 7pm when they supposedly finished class at 2pm. And maybe he bought an umbrella when she told him she lost hers and it was raining, and truth be told, she didn't have much money yet offered him his favorite dessert. And if you looked closely he may be looking at her lips too often, and complimenting her a bit more. But if you told her, she'd just laugh, because after all, it always been that way, right? It's only because of that, that she kept begging him to go out this Friday with her friend again, even though she knew he couldn't, but she was his friend after all, she only wanted him to have fun. The same reason he caved in when she looked at him in that particular way, the one she had when he had her against that cold wall. It wasn't because of that of course, it's just his father said yes because he was in a good mood, he didn't have to beg for hours on end to stay later than the last time. Well, she doesn't have to know.

She always took this much time to get ready, she was known for changing outfits 7 times because none of them would be to his preference. Oh well, she meant her preference of course, she only wanted him to not make fun of her clothes, and maybe match his own outfit for once. She only paid extra attention to her makeup because she wanted to try that new mascara she bought. Or was it last month? She couldn't care less, or she didn't have time to care, since he was now at her door, waiting for her as she was running around trying to find a pair of shoes.

She was anxious, her best friend was late, and if she didn't come that would mean she'd spend the night with only him, there shouldn't be a problem with that of course, but... She felt quite embarrassed by the idea. He was her friend, right, but what if, as last time, they drink too much? They couldn't go too far last time as they lacked time, but this time, not that she actually thought of it, but she perhaps knew a place where they could actually take it further. Only if it did happen, of course, not that she was expecting it or wanted it. So why did she feel a tiny bit of disappointment when her best friend actually showed up and the three of them went out together. Why was she walking slower than usual, and being quieter, drinking more than she should and smoking from her best friend's joint? She just wanted to enjoy the party, that's what she told them at least, but when at the bar they sat together, and when she handed him her money so he'd order and he came back and gave her back the money under the excuse that he'll never let her pay for anything, why did her mood get lighter? Surely it was the alcohol, or the weed, or the late hour, or maybe it was just him. The way he looked so good in those pants, his hair looking just right, his smile making her feel lightheaded. Oh, she wanted him. But he wasn't looking at her, nor paying attention to her. He was having fun, her best friend as well, but somehow she felt alone, around them, dancing with them, surrounded by so many people.

And in the midst of it all, she felt a hand slowly grabbing her hips, she turned and was met with the sight of him smiling at her, and she felt seen, in a way she couldn't explain, but when he pulled her toward him and mentioned how she danced so well, she only giggled and continued dancing, this time feeling the song.

Her memory was playing tricks on her, or was it the alcohol making her unable to think, because why was she suddenly kissing him so passionately in the bar. She could feel his hungry hands on her waist, slowly trying to get under her skirt, her body pressing against his as she let out a gasp. He was relentless in his kissing, the tension was heavy, and she could see her best friend and the rest of the bar looking at them. But she didn't care, she got what she wanted, well yes, perhaps that's what she wanted, her drunk mind didn't know what denial was when his touch was so delightful against her body. They laughed, mentioning how they both expected this would happen, and as they both looked at each other with a tender smile, she opened her lips to tell him.

"I want you" getting off the bus, her words still ringing in their ears, he held her hand as she guided him through the empty streets. Finally at their destination, they hesitated, alcohol was no longer making such an effect on them, and they both know their next actions would count, that friendship wasn't a thing between them anymore, that lying through their teeth to try and convince themselves it's only lust, was nothing but an empty lie. They kissed like the night was running out, touched like their skin was made of fire and they were each other's solace. It was clumsy, a bit shy, and perhaps a bit too... romantic. A bit too personal, way more sincere than they'd thought it was. His hands discovering parts of her body he only dreamt of, and sounds coming of her lips he'd think an angel was singing. His pants were forgotten as quick as her skirt as they both needed more, way more of each other, to feel the other in a way they wouldn't be able to forget or deny.

Alcohol was their ally as much as he was a backstabber, they were sitting, her head resting on his shoulder, feeling quite upset by what they couldn't finish. Yet, his voice soothed her, he was caring, and understanding, he reassured her the right way, held her the right way. And what was only, what they wanted to call, lust, it was now undoubtedly something more. As he helped her put back her shoes as if she was made of glass, he held her body against his, holding her in a way she needed, and that he did too. They spent longer hours talking about themselves than they did touching each other's body. What was meant to be a place to share their bodies, became the place they touched their souls.

"We can't be together, right?" This sentence barely held any truth in it anymore as they barely even knew what they were doing. He hugged her, perhaps longer than necessary, at her doorstep, promised her a next time as they kissed for the last time that night.

Part 2 ?