nat-ter - Tumblr blog

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genshin is eating up all of my phone storage. see you guys next time i feel like downloading tumblr again!

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fake ass idgafer. I saw you gazing off into the distance like you were looking at something far away, something no one else could see but you

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"Oh shit okay this talk is going to happen earlier than I thought that's okay I-"

"What."

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in love with the way in some superbat fics Clark sees Bruce and his Kryptonian instincts immediately say “mate.” not in an a/b/o way, just a “that is a highly qualified, strong, healthy provider/parent” way. Bruce ticks ALL of those weird little alien boxes Clark didn’t know he had.

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just wanna add these tidbits:

jason thought clark must have a really strong stomach since he can apparently withstand THAT amount of laxatives (weirder things have happened)

damian chakled up the bent needles to clark growing up in a farm and therefore having thicker skin (obvious, really)

tim couldn't look at bruce for months without feeling nauseous and almost bleached his eyes (alfred found him right before he could dunk his head in a bucket full of all the bleach he could find in the manor)

dick couldn't stop apologising to holy shit superman!!!!????

superbat fic idea: bruce and clark started dating before they knew about each other's identify and the batkids are overprotective of bruce so they tried to make clark's life miserable by sabotaging clark in ways that might be a bit too extreme at some point.

like, this one time clark came over for dinner jason put a whole bottle of laxatives in clark's food and clark ofc could tell that his food was tempered with in some way but he was so nervous he ended up eating the whole thing and ofc nothing happened to him so clark was like "oh thank god" and jason was like "what the everloving fuck" he wished he had gone with poison

another time clark came over damian hid a bunch of needles in a cushion and made sure clark sat on it bcus this is damian we're talking about he had no idea what is extreme and what's not. but then clark sat down like nothing was amiss and when damian checked it after clark went home the needles were all bent in different angles. he knew he should've put the katana instead.

or, tim hacked clark's phone to find some dirt on him bcus the background check didn't reveal anything remarkable. except he ended up seeing a bunch of bruce's noods and scarred himself for life. he might or might not have deleted some of the more scandalous pictures. and bruce might have bought clark a new phone with better security. all in all, tim would never go anywhere near clark's phone again

when every single one of their plans failed or backfired they roped dick into it and the next time clark came over while bruce wasn't there they locked him in the library and threw in a can of tear gas and smoke bomb. what they find was a very anxious clark hovering three feet above ground level pulling the heavy library doors off its hinges and frantically searching for the kids bcus he thought someone was attacking them and his first instinct was to protect bruce's children. he was still holding onto those bigass doors like they weighed nothing

so that's how they find out that bruce was dating superman

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here's my overgrown cat

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Batman the ultimate tsundere

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I APPRECIATE THEM CLARK 😭

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Sometimes I question my sanity and how I happened upon superman x batman tentacle porn fanfiction.... and then I keep reading because it was very tastefully written

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Sometimes I talk a lot and sometimes I don’t talk at all and somehow both are embarrassing

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I'm telling you rn, once I get back my ability to sleep, my libido, my appetite, my motivation & I stop neglecting every aspect of my life it's over for u bitches

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Damian: Bruce Jr. Wayne.

Jon: No, he should be called Clark Jr. Kent.

Tim: Forseti. God of justice, peace and reconciliation.

Jason: Peace? Not if he’s going to be living in this house.

Dick: What about Justice Kent-Wayne?

Jon: I like it!

Damian: Vengeance Wayne-Kent.

Kon: Brark Waykent.

Tim: Eww.

Jason: Superbat.

Dick: That sounds more like a superhero name.

Kon: Cluce Kentayne.

Tim: Go away Conner.

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officer: are these your children sir?

damian, forcefully raided a petco to liberate the animals: hello father

jason, released said animals on unsuspecting tourists for fun: sup old man

bruce: …nope

officer: oh, then them?

steph duke and cass, covered in equal parts confetti, dirt, and blood, waving:

bruce: oh no, im not touching that one with a ten foot pole

officer: …so it has to be one of them?

alfred, got into an altercation with someone at home goods over the last crockpot: i have no regrets master bruce

tim, hacked the cia to put himself higher than jason on their wanted list and accidentally implicated himself in an unrelated crime: i’m more disappointed in myself, really

bruce: …i’ve never met these people before

assorted incarcerated batkids: *various outraged clamor*

officer: then who are you here to collect?

bruce, pointing to a different cell, sighing: that one’s mine

clark, was pulled over for following all the gotham road laws (incredibly suspicious behavior): hi bruce!!!

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"batsy! batsy!"

batman the cat: mhrrrr

and she was sleeping in the cupboard! lol

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i want to write a story about unmasking a superhero except the superhero's dialogue is just a bunch of kiss lyrics so they sound really cryptic

reporter: so who exactly are you

superhero: im the infection and famine that's knocking at your door

reporter: uh. ok. what— uh can you tell me more about yourself

superhero: you're begging for an eyeful but you only get a peek

reporter: i'll take that as a no

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people love to complain about sex scenes in tv shows and violence in movies when the real danger is scenes that make you feel second hand embarrassment.

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i went to the goofy goober factory last night and they said you hadn't clocked in for weeks. they're all so worried about you. what's wrong champ