natirae

[natirae]

Untitled Konig x OC (lightly, could be x reader)

Lilia

He won’t stop staring. It’s been ten minutes and he’s still staring. My head tilts as I watch him in my peripheral vision. I try listening to my friend, but their conversation has been lost. Between his eyes and the club’s loud environment, I can’t concentrate. Maybe he’s zoned out. Maybe that’s why he’s been staring at me like he hasn’t eaten in ages. Has anyone taught Germans that it’s not polite to stare? I attempt to piece together the story my friend was telling, but it’s already too late. Mila laughs as she finishes talking, and I laugh along like my skin isn’t covered in goosebumps.Pretending like there’s not a large–no– giant man watching me from across the club. I take a deep breath before sipping on the cocktail in my hand. Mila, Ollie, and Sofie eventually decide it’s time to dance. They take their final sips of their drinks before slipping away into the crowd. I wish I could be as free-spirited as they are. I watch in awe as their bodies freely move to the beat of the song. Strobe lights shine on them, providing the attention they always seem to grab. I’m sure by tonight I’ll once again be the only one going back to the hostel. Coming to Germany has been a blast, but I’m sure it would be more fun if I could just let loose. Yet no matter how hard I try, my body just freezes up. My breathing picks up, and I play with my necklace as I watch my friends jump and dance around without a care in the world. I can’t even get my body to move like that when I’m alone. It feels wrong. Like, I’m not meant to feel sexy. They gave up a while ago, attempting to convince me to dance around with them. Somehow, I managed to get them to agree to one term: I go to clubs with them IF I’m never pulled out to dance. It was simple. I love these environments, but I don’t fit in. I was put on this earth to just be. Just a background character in others' stories. I’m not meant to be important, and I’ve accepted that. I’ve learned from a young age that my job is to provide comfort to others. I couldn’t even tell you the last time someone comforted me. My trance is broken by the same man staring me down. He’s definitely not zoned out. That I can confirm by the way his eyes follow me as I walk to the bar for another drink. I quickly ask the bartender for another drink before looking behind me at my friends. I smile as I notice Mila dragging a man deep into the dance floor. She’s always been a go-getter. I’m surprised it even took her this long to find her target. I turn my head back around once I feel the warmth of someone next to me. Out of my peripheral vision, I can only see a wide arm. My eyes trail up till they land on the man who was staring at me. Okay, his parents definitely didn’t teach him any manners. I step to my left once before my eyes reach his face, and what do you know it’s the man that was staring at me and Jesus fuck he’s tall. His eyes stare straight ahead, staring at the back of the bar, and his body is stiff. His skin is pale with a small scar behind his ear that trails up into his buzzed hair.

His face is strong, much like his arms and the rest of him. He has a nice layer of fat over his muscles that helps him appear much larger. Must be in the military. Noticing the bartender coming up, I take my eyes off of him and thank them for my drink. “Danke Schön,” I mutter before taking my drink. Out of the corner of my eye, the man somehow stands straighter. Did that shock him? I take a sip as my mind runs about how tall he is. He’s gotta be at least 6’5, and that's lowballing. I’m quite tall for a girl, so seeing a man this size is insane. I should ask him how tall he is… 

Don’t do that, Lilia, I tell myself, but if I always listen to that side of me, how else would I stop the curiosity? “So, how tall are you?” I shout over the crowd. I cover my drink with my hand before turning my body towards him. His face contorts into that of a sad puppy. His eyes widen, but he doesn't even turn my way. Maybe he doesn’t speak English. “Wie groß bist du?" I ask again. His eyes quickly darted over towards me before going back behind the bar. I smile slightly, hoping it eases his stress before turning back and looking down at my drink. “Ich bin 177 cm groß!” I shout towards him, still looking at my drink. Well, if he were a kidnapper, he definitely wouldn’t look this scared to talk to me. I can’t possibly be intimidating in Germany, too. 

The man next to me takes a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak, “Ich bin 200-centimeter groß,” He says back, not even having to shout that loudly, his voice is just that deep. He knocks his knuckles against the bar top, and not even a minute later, a clear shot is placed in front of him. He knocks it back without even a look of disgust on his face. Okay…now maybe I shouldn’t have talked to him. He must be a regular, and I’m not sure being a regular at a club is a good thing. I nod my head to let him know that I heard him before rushing back to the small table my friends and I were at. When I look back up, the man is gone. Did he leave? I scan around me, expecting to find his eyes on me, but he’s nowhere to be found.

 I take another sip of my drink as I notice Ollie is nowhere to be found. There goes one. Oh, and Sofie seems to have a bit of a toy on her side. God, I hate alcohol. If it wasn’t for the loud music or my ability to disassociate, I would have never come here, but alas, the loud music and dark atmosphere tickle me just right. My eyes zone in on this perfect couple. Their body moving left and right, up and down, just getting lost in each other. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. One day, I tell myself, one day I will love myself and my body enough to feel free and sexy like that. Men will flock to me. I’ll be pretty. My eyes zone in on another couple, the lady’s back to the man as she grinds back on him. His hand on her waist holding her to him as he rocks his body back. His head leans down into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. Suddenly, I’m her. I feel his breath and his hard body behind me. His manly hand holding my waist, guiding me to grind on him. My breathing picks up, and I feel nauseous. Come on. Get a hold of yourself.  I close my eyes again and take another deep breath. Baby steps, I tell myself. Looking down at my drink I attempt to battle off the thoughts. 

You’ll never be like them. 

Stop trying so hard. 

Freak, god, how sheltered were you? 

I’m literally across the world, but their voices still ring in my ears. Slut. I can hear my mom’s voice right now.  “Do you want to be sex trafficked?” I remember her saying to me. Right, that's why I don’t do these things, because somehow I will be caught. I’m 21. Twenty fucking one and I’m still scared of getting in trouble or ridiculed by my family. They will know. They always do. So instead of dancing, I will sit here and watch my friends, who are actually all gone, great. I down the rest of my drink and start heading back to the hostel. Great girls' night for me…

~~~

 On my way back to the hostel, I cross a beautiful bridge covered with hanging locks from lovers to families and anyone in between. I run my fingers across the locks, feeling the bumps every time I hit a new one. I gotta come here and place a lock before I leave - but I don’t want to leave, I tell myself. There’s a slight breeze in the night air, leaving the hairs on my arms to stand up. I really don’t want to go back. It’s small and smelly, and I’m alone. What if something bad happens? What if someone there is dangerous? I stop in my tracks, forcing myself to reset my brain. I sound fucking crazy.

I turn towards the fencing and watch the lights follow the edge of the river, my hair picking up every time a car passes behind me. I should just stay here. I already fought tooth and nail to come here. What if I just ran away? Transferred schools and stayed here. Would I be able to survive? Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and imagine myself living here. Maybe I’d live in an apartment or a cozy little cottage. Perhaps I’d finally get that cat I’ve always wanted. Who am I kidding? That will never happen because miracles aren’t real. I’ll never get to live that dream I want. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a tall, shadowy figure coming my way. Probably just another person on their way home, but as the figure comes closer, it looks familiar. The tall, quiet man from the bar. Did he follow me? I turn my head, eyeing him down. He’s coming straight towards me, but nothing in my gut is telling me I should be scared. He looks shy. He’s slouching almost like he’s trying to make himself smaller. As if that was possible. He has to be the tallest man I’ve ever seen. His eyes are now downcast as I watch him come towards me. He’s closer now, and it’s like I’ve forgotten how much bigger he is than I. 

He stops and turns towards the river next to me. I follow his lead and do the same. For the next 30 minutes, the two of us just stood there and watched the cars trail along the river, the moon shine, and felt the breeze of the cars passing behind us. It was nice. Getting lost in the view, I don’t even notice that he left. I’m alone again, and I head back to the hostel.