neerdowellnarrator

[neerdowellnarrator]

The funny thing about reincarnation LJ3 is. Imagine if Odysseus spent all this time on Calypso’s island guilt ridden about abandoning Penelope but also. What he doesn’t understand is that his draw to this wild, beautiful, self-absorbed, charismatic, impulsive, deeply flawed and deeply lonely goddess who has everything she could ever want except someone who has chosen her is actually the same love for his piece of home, eternally devoted, ingeniously clever and charming, so in synch that they invented homophrosyne twin soul. You love your wife so much, so desperate to return to home, that you miss she’s been right here in front of you. This may sound fucked up but this happened to my buddy Elektra “Ellie” fore!!!

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me: so then jonathan ends his diary entry, and it reads to me like he's trying to calm himself down before going to sleep by ordering his thoughts and comparing his situation to things he already knows about, 'cause he says this is just like hamlet, or the arabian nights, with a captive and captor talking together until daybreak-

my mother: except scheherazade had to have sex with her guy, as well

me: well. we don't know that that isn't happening.

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I will be implementing DEI initiatives throughout the kingdom to make all of the knights transgender.

[neerdowellnarrator]

sure. blame the girl who’s a huge bitch who sacrifices people and causes endless problems for everyone, again

[neerdowellnarrator]

I'm such an unserious person. 99% of my worldbuilding for the current Unnamed perilous magic academy project is basically just a series of Bits:

Ellie's name in teacher timeline is actually short for "Eleanur" b/c that's how michael mispronounces it in The Good Place.

The Unnamed Perilous Magic Academy has what are basically "houses" because its become a funnel for a west world/dark lord of derkholm esque tourist trap & "we did market research and exchange students (aka humans) love arbitrary categorization so even tho it has been shown to harm student performance we can't get rid of it b/c 90% of our funding comes from human interplanar exchange students who want to feel like big bad adventurers!"

The college town is half "historical town" tourist trap and half kitschy 50-80s teen movie pastiche. The school despite being a college openly has high school type coming of age rituals and punishments such as school dances and detention b/c that's part of the power fantasy

The spellcasters department college has had its categorization for types of casting majors changed like 5 times as an extended wizards of the coast joke and nobody really knows what a "mage" is and they're too afraid to ask.

Despite the school being observably much bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, the measurements for the insides of the buildings always come out to 3/4 of an inch larger than the outside (boy its like a house of leaves in here!).

The rogues department is like a secret major that you must find the secret page for on the university website, and nobody outside of the major knows where the building is located even though everyone vaguely knows it must exist (b/c there are rogues in parties, obviously), b/c i love brennan's "find the rogue professor" bit but i thought we could push it farther to make it even more absurd without wanting to pilfer the exact same bit.

Instead of dropped vs dead, the system is a three strikes "somewhat dead, mostly dead, and all dead" pilfered from the princess bride

Famous alumni surf-rock folk singer Totally-Not-Ruben comes back to campus whenever he's in town and gets mobbed & has impromptu shows b/c Jack Johnson was famous alumni at my alma mater.

Ellie was raised by halflings and it seems like a thinly veiled ripoff of the gorgug alienation of transracial adoption storyline with his gnomish parents and its not not that but also you slowly start to realize that the way her parents are not anti-adventuring in the typical halfling "we hate change and think troublemakers are asking for it" it way but in a "we're quietly grieving the loss of our live-in boyfriend b/c he sailed away to live in the undying lands and we saw the toll Big Adventure took on him" and you go.... are her parents off brand Samwise gamgee and Rosie cotton???

[neerdowellnarrator]

*flirting with an older man* when i was born you had already attempted suicide once

[neerdowellnarrator]

last summer was wild i'm p sure i hadn't been that deep in the trenches since i was It-posting in 2019 and i miss being a little insane. And im sorry i mean this in a nicest way possible i love my mutuals but the slavic twink from arcane and his loser boyfriend are not an option

[neerdowellnarrator]

after all the damage we've done

turns out I'm very hard to kill

[neerdowellnarrator]

OUT NOW!

Hey, Girlie! has been a labor of love, and it would not be possible without all our amazing contributors and the response from other fans like you. Thanks for coming on this wild journey with us. Talk about the game using #HeyGirlieGame and #hggspoilers 🍎🐝

[neerdowellnarrator]

these beds crack me up because I know the recliner on the side is a massage chair/for fuckin’ but I also imagine that it’s where you have your buddy/most trusted advisor/overly-familiar-but-not-too-familiar jester lounge for movie night while you and your consort spoon in bed

[neerdowellnarrator]

the cw pr department might be the only people in the world who are good at their job. look at how effectively they utilized girlpower to make the enduring image of destiel shippers as fucking crazy fujoshis making stuff up in their head. they put two DIFFERENT love confessions in there they put he's in love dot dot dot with humanity in there they put love overcoming brainwashing in there . you guys remember castiel heaven plastered with shirtless dean? and still the overall reaction to november 5th twenty twenty was "THEM TWO STRAIGHT BOYS FROM SUPERNATURAL?" and other some such that agreed it was the most heterosexual sexless television show that never even alluded to them having feelings for each other. genuinely truly cia level propaganda and effectiveness. what if the singleminded determination, foul souls, and budget behind the public campaign on war on drugs instead turned to shows that they play on the treadmill at the gym. if they used their powers for good we could well and truly make republicans cringe in this country for good. i would never have to see a reagan '84 shirt again. but instead they will continue to use them for evil. not sure what they will turn to now that long form television is dead but i'm sure it will increase the net amount of evil in the world

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[neerdowellnarrator]

[neerdowellnarrator]

House Medarda at met gala ✨

[neerdowellnarrator]

the reason "robot racism" is often a really stupid metaphor is the same reason that like. discrimination against demons or vampires or whatever doesn't work, is because there's often a pretty justified reasons humans are scared of vampires or robots or whatever, in a way that doesn't apply to real life minorities, like a fantasy author will be like "the reason vampires are discriminated against is because most of them and kill and eat people for fun and pleasure, and so humans respond by trying to kill them, isn't that so sad" and like no that's a perfectly fine reason to not trust vampires i think.

[neerdowellnarrator]

Chronic petname user Jayce vs Vik who only says his name (and a couple terms of endearment from his mother tongue)

[neerdowellnarrator]

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this