nepttunnee

[nepttunnee]

thinking david corenswet is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles dark hair and blue eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think superman is hot? fucking superman? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god he’s tall should we tell everyone he’s tall and his jaw is nice wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SUPERMAN is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. “hear me out” and it’s a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed

[nepttunnee]

it’s fucking wild because one day you’re like i guess i’m not dying tragically young and you go to the store and you buy dental floss, ingredients for soup, and a bath mat

[nepttunnee]

Kid today (probably like 6 years) came up to me and was like "teacher teacher what's your name" and i was like "asha :) also im not a teacher" and he was like "okay asha asha asha I need help" and i was like "okay buddy what's wrong" and he showed me this chunk of metal he'd found sitting in the sun that he was just carrying around and it was super sharp and super hot from the sun and he was like "my hand hurts :(" and i was like "ok. put that down. does it still hurt?" And he did and was like "no." and then he picked it up again and immediately went "my hand hurts :(" again and then I was like "kid. put that down and stop touching it" and he was like "ok but when I touch it my hand hurts :(" and i was like "Please Just Stop Touching That. If you dont touch it your hand won't hurt" and this went on for like another 2 minutes before i got him to realize that if he stopped touching the metal it would not hurt. Kids are so fucking weird man

[nepttunnee]

[nepttunnee]

this is, as the kids say, frying me (a glasses wearer)

[nepttunnee]

pictures of the way brothers youve never seen before bc i took them last night

[nepttunnee]

filmmakers and audiences and critics alike all need to start suspending their disbelief again

[nepttunnee]

thought u might appreciate this

[nepttunnee]

The joy this brought me…. Unspeakable

[nepttunnee]

salmon have a little fin on their backs between the dorsal and tail find, called the adipose fin. at hatcheries we put teenie tiny tags into the foreheads of salmon fry before releasing them to the wild. we clip their adipose fins (using pain management for the fry don’t worry) so years later when the salmon return to spawn we can identify tagged fish. some states even clip virtually all of their hatchery-born fish so they can all be identified, regardless of tagging programs, like so (x)

anyway a lot of salmon merchandise forgets the adipose fin. stickers and t-shirts and artsy posters and magnets etc etc used to drive me bonkers bc artists just tend to forget the adipose fin.

but no longer bc ever since working at a hatchery i no longer see an adipose-less salmon and think it’s inaccurate anatomy. now i’m like : 0 !! : ) oh this fish was born at a hatchery wroww 💖🐟

next time you see salmon merch u should check to see if it was born in a hatchery : )

[nepttunnee]

"Capitalism is temporary. Dykes are forever"

Seen in NYC

[nepttunnee]

I know I couldn't handle having kids but if I was left in charge of some, I'd take them to the park to feed ducks. Not bread though, you shouldn't feed that to ducks. We're feeding them lettuce. Let the ducks going apeshit over lettuce show the kids that lettuce is actually awesome. When they go home, their parents are baffled by the fact that the kids are now willingly eating salad. In the most horribly animalistic fucked up way possible.

[nepttunnee]

Superman isn't woke. You're just so evil that you see a man doing acts of kindness and you think it's a targeted political agenda

[nepttunnee]

my sister-in-law, who has no kids and does not spend time around children ever, decided she wanted to take my kids on an “outing” yesterday. (she sees them like 4 times a year usually). she took them to some weird historical u.s. military fort museum thing, it’s like a big compound with like 15 buildings enclosed by a fence. anyway my 5-yr-old saw one of those red metal fire alarm boxes on the wall and asked his aunt “what does that say?”

now the correct answer to this question, in my opinion, would be “that is a fire alarm. we only touch fire alarms if there is a fire. if there is a fire, you would pull the handle and it would make a very loud noise so that other people know to get out of the building.”

according to several reliable sources, my sister-in-law’s answer to the question was, “it says ‘pull.’”

so anyway that’s how they managed to evacuate all 15 buildings at the museum and why this is probably their last “outing” for a while.

[nepttunnee]

seeing all the 14-17 y/o queer kids who don’t know what v for vendetta is…. u mean the blockbuster film written by two trans women about a masked vigilante who decides to singlehandedly take down a fascist alternate version of england set in the distant year of 2020… and his driving force was getting justice for a lesbian who he never met but whose diary he found, who was separated from her wife before being killed by said fascist gov…. and it stars natalie portman…. okay

[nepttunnee]

[nepttunnee]

it's such a sadness to me that kids eventually lose that 'no filter' thing when they grow up. my niece asked what 9/11 is and someone explained it to her and her unfiltered conclusion was "bro. is that it"