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Shame and vulnerability

Lessons from Brene Brown 1. Fitting In Is Not Belonging There are so many terms we use every day whose meanings are gauzy, if not downright imprecise—which makes it hard to get your head around what's really going on in your life. For example, contrary to what most of us think: Belonging is not fitting in. In fact, fitting in is the greatest barrier to belonging. Fitting in, I've discovered during the past decade of research, is assessing situations and groups of people, then twisting yourself into a human pretzel in order to get them to let you hang out with them. Belonging is something else entirely—it's showing up and letting yourself be seen and known as you really are—love of gourd painting, intense fear of public speaking and all. Many us suffer from this split between who we are and who we present to the world in order to be accepted, (Take it from me: I'm an expert fitter-inner!) But we're not letting ourselves be known, and this kind of incongruent living is soul-sucking. 

The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect. When we don't have that, we shape-shift and turn into chameleons; we hustle for the worthiness we already possess

one of the worst things about shame is that we often don't know when we're feeling it. When I'm interviewing subjects, I hear, "I'm worthless. I'm a piece of crap. I don't blame my parents for hating me—who wouldn't?" And this is shame. We may not know how to name it. But we know how to feel it—and it is a totally separate emotion from guilt Perfectionism Is Not About Striving for Excellence Perfectionism is not about achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfectly, look perfectly and act perfectly, we can avoid the pain of blame, judgment and shame. 

Healthy striving, meanwhile, focuses on you. It occurs when you ask yourself, "How can I improve?" Perfectionism keeps the focus on others. It occurs when you ask, "What will they think?" Research, unfortunately, shows that perfectionism hampers success and often leads to depression, anxiety, addiction and missed opportunities, due to fears of putting anything out in the world that could be imperfect or disappoint others. It's a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight. Another way to think about it? Consider Leonard Cohen's song "Anthem," which says, "There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Vulnerability Is an Act of Courage   There are a few myths about vulnerability that I think keep us from being wholehearted people who can fully give and receive love. The first is that vulnerability is weakness. The second is that it's optional. First of all, vulnerability is not weakness. It's probably the most accurate measure of our individual courage. When I ask research subjects to give me an example of being in situations where they feel vulnerable, they say, "Taking responsibility for something that went wrong at work" or "Telling my boyfriend that I love him" or "Calling my friend whose child just died" or "Sending my kid to school knowing she is struggling but knowing she had has to figure it out" or "Meeting with the hospice person who is going to be taking care of my mother." Sometimes I hear people say "I don't do vulnerability." But you do it, everyday. We all do it. We all have those moments. The only choice you have is how you handle those feelings of being terrifyingly, painfully exposed. Maybe you turn them into rage; maybe you turn them into disconnection; maybe you numb them; maybe you turn them into perfectionism The key to transforming them into courage instead is learning how recognize them, feel them and ultimately make the choice to simply be there, with that horrible tangle of uncertainty and risk. When you know what you're feeling and why, you can slow down, breathe, pray, ask for support—and make choices that reflect who you are and what you believe.

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Thor’s stone. Dude has some crazy back muscles. The dance struggles to control his body that wants to move to the music it’s hearing.

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‘Waves’ the dancer really captures being blown around

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Camera angles are flipped in this film titled “right side down” creating some mind bending perceptions

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Compelling narrative from a male ballerina

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“Inner beast” dancer in dirt. Cool contrast to the swimmer shaven video

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Violet sands: No matter what

Another slit scan video example

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Becoming violent

Dance with exploding paint powder.

Wondering if this could be done with projected light rather than paint pigment

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Just Dance: Tempest

A balletic study of light and shadow to a modern Wagnerian score

I like how a storm is portrayed with figures in darkness and an occasional strobe light

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Chimera

Amazing editing to merge 3 dancers together

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Faux Chard

bodies and a little projection

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Candor: the art of gesticulation 

All footage is of gestures. Really nicely done

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Pink

i like the 70s aesthetic and the poetry

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Dancing is a method of release capable of transcending race, age, gender and even location. Despite the physical boundaries separating everyone, dance – like other art forms – is a universally shared language. You will find performers everywhere, in all corners of the world.

Moving cities project: Paris 

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(via https://vimeo.com/224074412?ref=tu-v-share)

"This film is a criticism of conformity and a play with gender roles," says Stockholm-based director Fredrik Lund-Hansen of the mind-bending sand dance he captured for his video, soundtracked by Canadian electronic musician CFCF, aka Michael Silver.

“We are all the same flesh and blood”

"It is a moving artwork that reflects the oneness of humanity," he says. "We are all the same flesh and blood irrespective of our skin color, sexuality, or gender.”