neurodiverseadventuresquad

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

A Poem

Anyone know anything about poetry? I usually write prose (fiction), but am taking a stab at righting poetry, specifically on what it feels like to be a neurodivergent kid.

So, if anyone has a background in poetry, feed back would be welcome. Here's the first. Poem under the cut.

Order

There’s an invisible team

Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong

And they go around inspecting things

To make sure everything 

Is in order

Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong understand

That details matter

Numbers matter

Place matters

Order matters

Size matters

All the details that make the thing

They matter

There’s a best way

And Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong

Try to help keep things 

The way they are supposed to be

When Mr. Right leaves his mark

It’s bright, shiny, happy

When Mr. Wrong leaves his mark

It’s loud, LOUD, LOUD

And for some reason

No one else 

Can see them

Or hear them

They can’t hear the screaming

Or the banging

The absolute racket Mr. Wrong makes

So I have to be the one to explain

To help change things 

So Mr. Wrong can calm down

And Mr. Right take over

But no one believes me when I tell them

For them it’s already quiet

I want that, too

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

Currently internally groaning and twisting myself into unnatural contortions because Google changed the interface for gmail and I hate it.

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

Adult Diagnosis and Identity

I created this a bit ago, but am probably going to start posting a bit more regularly as I try to work through some things.

A couple of months ago, I was diagnosed as being on the spectrum. This somewhat surprised me, and I'm still struggling to sort of... find my place, I guess?

In middle school I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I developed a number of mental health issues as a teenager. Over the years I've been given an alphabet soup of diagnoses, and for a while I just got to the point of thinking that I lived in the neighborhood Neurodivergent, and that the exact address isn't important.

I got evaluated because my therapist suggested it, and stated the longer he worked with me, the more of these traits he saw in me. I looked into the criteria, and watched videos and read posts of people describing their experience with autism, especially with adult diagnosis.

And honestly, there was a lot there that I didn't identify with. There's enough overlap between ADHD and some autism symptoms that I thought they were just a result of the ADHD.

Since diagnosis, I've realized there are a few mysteries in my life this helps explain, so I don't think it was a misdiagnosis, but I have trouble of thinking about myself as "autistic".

So now I'm not sure to what degree I should join this community. I don't know if my hesitation regarding identifying as autistic is merely a result of living my whole life in the world that for the most part gives a very narrow idea of what it means to be autistic. There's a decent chance the world's ableist and stigmatizing attitude toward autism have contributed to this.

My ADHD symptoms are clearly a lot worse than my autism symptoms, and it feels like I have, like just a little bit of autism. But so many in the autistic community talk about their autism being inseparable from who they are, and I just don't know what to think about any of this, or how to feel, or even at times how to talk about this stuff.

So I'm almost 38 years old, and I just don't know what to do with any of this. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice?

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

Hey if you're nd plz reblog with whether you hiss or growl when you're annoyed/angry thx

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

For Women on the Spectrum

A quick question for all the women on the spectrum:

How do you all deal with bras?!

While I was only recently diagnosed with ASD, I've obviously had the traits my whole life; and have a lifelong hatred of bras. Even neurotypical women find them uncomfortable. So you you all just not wear bras? Have you found any you can tolerate?

I often have just gone without, but I feel like I should, but also don't want to, and I can't find any info online about the intersection of neurodivergence and bras.

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

ADHD Mood

ADHD Life is being able to easily create a useful strategic analysis of the market conditions for an emerging technology sector, but completely UNABLE to complete basic errands.

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

Newton's First Law And My Sleep/Wake Cycle

Starting and ending the day have both always been a struggle for me. I used to think it was just because I was a "night person". I struggled to go to bed, so of course I would have trouble getting up because I probably didn't get enough sleep.

It was only when I learned more about the ways ADHD can manifest that I realized at least a part of what was going on: I don't transition well.

It helps explain why there were times I was tired, but still had trouble getting myself to go to bed. Last night was one of those nights. It's like when I'm in the "up" mode, I have trouble stopping that and starting the "down" mode, and when I'm in "down" mode, I have trouble stopping that and starting "up" mode.

I realized it's a lot like Newton's First Law Of Motion, which states that an object in motion will remain in motion, or an object at rest will remain at rest, until an equal or greater force acts against it.

I the physical world, it's usually gravity and/or friction (at least here on earth) that acts against an object in motion, serving to slow it down until it stops.

I feel Like NT have a form of friction that allows them to slow down at the end of the day, so that can easily come to a resting position. I (probably like many NDs) don't have that. So I get stuck in my inertia and struggle to find the force to stop the momentum, in order to come to a resting position.

Unfortunately, when at rest, it's as though I've come to rest in a sticky environment (figuratively speaking), so getting out of the resting state and beginning the motion again is that much harder.

Not sure this helps me figure out what to do about any of this, but it at least seems like an ok explanation for people who don't get it.

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

Airports

Petition for airports to be built with quiet areas for the ND community to help avoid overstimulation.

[neurodiverseadventuresquad]

Introductory Post

So I've decided to start this blog to have a place to rant, explain, and otherwise report on the experience of being neurodiverse in an ablist world.

About me: I wasn't officially diagnosed with ADHD until I was around 14, although it was suspected since I was around 11. This is surprising as my ADHD is in no way mild. I just had a lot of masking factors keeping me from getting noticed.

In addition, in my late teens and early 20s I picked up a number of mental health diagnosis, as is so often the case with ADHD. And a few months ago, my therapist suggested that I may want to be evaluated to see if I could be on the autism spectrum.

I feel like I've been playing the "guess the label" game half my life, and am kind of over it. At this point, it's clear my brain doesn't work the way most people's do, and the exact words the use to describe it feels a bit like semantics. I'll probably get evaluated anyway, because the NT world really likes to know, WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?

I basically just want a place to vent a bit about the frustrations of invisible disability experience, especially since it's a place where there are other people who can relate.

If fiction can be called a special interest, it's mine. For me, TV shows, movies, and books have always been different forms of the same thing. Other media have recently been added to the mix, including comics. Pretty much any way of portraying a fictional story is something that I can get sucked into and/or obsessed with.

My obsessions tend to be my mind's default. Whenever my brain isn't actively doing something else, it defaults to whatever my current fandom is. Because I'm a writer, I tend to have scenes from the story running through my head, which is a little like having a tv in my mind. It's mostly not a bad thing, and can be fun, but I can't actually turn the tv off, so my mind frequently tunes in to that instead of whatever I'm actually supposed to be paying attention to.

I know this is a long and rambling post, but I'm not even going to apologize. There will be lots of these, and if that's not what you want to read, then this isn't the place to hang out.

On the other hand, if you relate to the neurodiverse experience, or want to better understand it, then welcome, and let the solidarity begin!