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[nickpaterson]

Offended? Wrong!

It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting. – Epictetus

How do you respond to an insult? Are you a turn the other cheek-er? Or the Eye for an eye types?  This in my opinion has everything to do with ourselves as a person, and not any kind of moral code.  It is 100% perception of outside sources.  You choose how to perceive or hear or feel something, and you choose how to respond based on this.

Religious types would have you believe that the meek will inherit the earth, and to turn the other cheek, allow someone to hit you again, while responding with a smile on your face. This leans to the side of religion that says “vengeance is mine, sayeth the lord”.  They believe it is not in mans own hand to judge or strike back. Accept whatever it takes, and give back only what you feel is right.  This may be tested as a moral code, or by some seen as simple cowardice, others as strength and restraint and wisdom.  Simply put, it is an invented perception and a choice not to respond or to respond with only kindness, believing that showing kindness will bring kindness back.  Sadly, this rarely works, as the striker will see you often as an easy mark and be willing to strike again.

The eye for an eye crowds.. these are the ones who start wars. You hurt me, I hurt you, you hurt me back, I hurt you and more, you hurt me back more, and escalate to start a war. Forget kindness, you believe that force is needed to make things right, take your revenge and set things right. This is the action taker, the leader, the only one who can make the world seem right and Just.  It could be revenge or it could be justice, all depends on your local laws and your personal moral code in how you decide to exact your justice.

But maybe..  just maybe.. they are both wrong?  Think about it this way..  both scenarios above start with someone making a move to hurt, and someone getting hurt.  It doesn’t matter if it is a physical hurt, or an emotional one, or even a perceived hurt from an otherwise innocent action, these are all responded to in the same way by the different types.  The thing is..  who says you got hurt and have the RIGHT to respond in any way?   Getting hurt, or insulted, or otherwise grieved against, is merely in your perception.  If you FELT hurt, then you get hurt.  You are giving the power and the value to whatever action you perceive as hurting. You takeaway your own power and give in to the external forces.  You make yourself hurt because you believe you have the right to hurt, and you believe that you can impose your will upon others not to be able or allowed to hurt you.

Good thing you aren’t God or President eh?  What right do you have to impose your perceptions upon any other life form? You chose to be hurt by the outside force, and you chose to ignore, or accept, or strike back.  Its all within you.  You created all the [pain and only you have the power to take it away. It makes no difference what was in the mind or action or reason of the outside force whatever it may be.  Their own perception guided that action.  If you simply choose not to be hurt, and not to require a reaction, then and only then do you take the power back.

Stop perceiving the world as anything other than reacting to your own actions.  Sure, you didn’t cause or ask that bully to hit you or say you are ugly, but you chose to let it affect you.  Choose to use your power to control your own life, actions and moral code, and suddenly the external forces no longer matter to anything. You cannot be hurt by that which you choose not to take offense to or be affected by in any way.

[nickpaterson]

Revolution

Every day we watch the news, and get all the updates to depress us about the current health situation in the world. The number of infected, the number of dead, the relatively small amount of recovered, not knowing if they are susceptible to being reinfected.  We hear about the leaders not doing enough, doing too much that will make future generations suffer financially, helping other countries before our own, not doing enough to help the world.  Overall, it just goes to show that you can’t please everybody. No matter what choices our elected leaders make in the wake of such a global crisis, somebody will call for their head, their job, or just find ways to ridicule them publicly. Being a leader of a world leading nation, is hard, no doubt.  Many of the decisions they make will anger some and please others, and may cost lives.  We know none of these decisions are made lightly, but we do know that most world leaders are doing their best to make educated decisions that they believe are for the betterment of their people, or their allies, or the global population in general.And then you have the leader of a major superpower, public in the news.  Few things he has done have been shown as for the betterment of the people.  The one example I could show, is when he talked about having the country back to work and opened up by a specific date, he was then shown new information, and he backtracked and changed his plan, specifically for the betterment of the people.  There are so many other choices he has made that are not in anybodies best interest, other than his own pocketbook.                 -Accepting a certain number of dead specifically so that the stock market would not fall.                -Shipping broken ventilators to one state                -National stockpiles full of expired or rotten/crumbling supplies                -Publicly stating that governors need to be nice to him to get help. Full on extortion here.-Flatly denying that he ever said things that can be backed up by simply watching public news broadcasts he made days or weeks ago.  Is it so hard to accept and admit that you made a mistake or changed your mind based on new facts?-Using an emergency measures act to cut off emergency supplies for your closest allies, friends and neighbours that have always had your back throughout history?-Enforcing emergency measures to ensure the entire nation isolates to prevent the spread, and publicly playing golf with a large team following for protection and assistanceThis is just a small example of the publicly made blunders that enfuriate the people of the United States, and the world watching.  Many other leaders are making similarly harmful choices for their people, but far less publicly, or at least less publicly than we hear about in the news.  People should come before financials and reputations.  Taking care of your country and your neighbours should supercede anything else in history, or else what the hell are you protecting?  Without the people, you wont have the financials, or the workforce, or anything else you pride yourself on being in control of.As much as we all hate to see such a populated and powerful people suffer, I almost secretly hope that it continues so publicly, if only to see the American people wake up, and realise what kind of government and leader they have chosen to elect and blindly follow and support.  Let the people realise that they mean nothing more than a price tag or a tradeable commodity, to line someone elses pocketbook at the expense of all life, morality, or anything else. Let the people choose to matter and take control.  Be a little less United States and a little more power to the people.  Hold your leaders accountable for what they say, and their actions that they hide behind closed doors.  Take apart the power that they reinforce at every opportunity, and redistribute it to an organisation or elected power that actually cares for humanity, and will help to build a healthy, supportive nation.  Drop the power hungry zealots, and start from scratch.  Rebuild the entire country, or countries if necessary, and actually support what matters: The people.   I’m not talking violent retribution, or attacking any political leaders.   Im simply talking about reform and revolution in constructive ways.  Don’t go back to normal when this is over. We need different, so lets be different.

[nickpaterson]

Blind Faith - My newest Video Blog entry for my thoughts on my journey of self discovery regarding religion

[nickpaterson]

https://anchor.fm/nick-paterson

[nickpaterson]

Karma

[nickpaterson]

How my religion taught me to hate

I grew up in a religious family, with Anglican roots.  My mother joined a small growing church group, which developed into one of the largest Baptist churches on Vancouver Island.  We were part of this same church family from the time I was 4 years old. Now in my 40s, my mother still attends the same group.   I am proud that our family was part of and still is part of this growing group that dopes a lot of good and outreach locally in her community.  I value relationships and advice from many members of this congregation.

               During the troubles of my teenage years, members of this group reach out to me to provide guidance when I was lost, to be supportive when I needed it, and to give advice.  One of the most influential people from this church weas my pastor, Mark Buchanan.  He was a little man who more often was in board shorts and a Hawaiian shirt with sandals, instead of a stuffy suit.  I loved watching him break the norms, and make people uncomfortable, to make them think about why they felt this way.  He would walk quietly to the stage, and this big booking voice would get your attention.  He put feeling into his speech, and he challenged traditional ideas, kept you rapt to everything he said, made us laugh and cry, and made sure we understood why we did things.  Mark also wrote a book called “Your God is too safe”.  I still have my autographed copy of the book as well as a spare handed down from my mom.  Admittedly, I never read the whole thing, but the title alone caught my attention, and made me want to research more and break the norms to make sure what I thought was right, instead of just safe and familiar.  

               My mother always gave me ideas to make me think. She told me from a young age to make sure I knew what I believed, and to know why, and that she would support me in those choices as long as I could support my argument with logic and faith. She may not have exercised this as much as she would like, making sure I went to church without fail, even when I didn’t want to, and being less than willing to explore alternate churches.  But the idea and the sentiment were there, and they stuck with me throughout my life.

               On my own as an adult, I spent a lot of time talking to people of different faiths, and asking questions about how, why, what for, history of, and more.  I learned a lot about different denominations and faiths, alternate religions, alternate deities, wicca and witchcraft, natural beliefs and more.  Some were fascinating ideas, some were fantasy style stories that kept the attention but not the faith, and some made me incredibly uncomfortable to the point I avoided them in further research.  But nothing fit. So, I stuck to what was safe and familiar, not knowing how or why to believe anything else.  

               In all my research over the years, some ideas stuck and made it into my daily practice, because they meshed with what I read in my bible, and my interpretation of Jesus love and teachings, even if I didn’t see them in practice elsewhere.  Because I spent so much time talking to people of different backgrounds, I had a lot of friends who didn’t believe in the same things I did. My biggest takeaway from all of this was acceptance.  They didn’t believe in my god, or read my bible, but they answered my questions, and taught me, without judging even if I didn’t accept what they taught.  We debated respectfully back and forth and taught each other whatever we could.  Nobody was judged, or ostracised, or ridiculed for those beliefs.  We made for a pretty hodgepodge group.  

I had Jehovas Witnesses try to convert me.  I had coffee and visited with Mormons.  I head my cards and stars and palms read by Wiccans.  I attended Buddhist weddings in a haunted church at the stroke of midnight on Halloween.  I went to church with United, nondenominational, Anglican and more services.  I saw people speak in tongues, and believe they were performing healing prayers.  I even attended a country revival by a river and marched in an anti abortion silent protest.  I spent countless hours debating, and researching to reinforce my debates when I got stuck, and learning different viewpoints.  

               But I accepted everyone regardless of background. I asked questions that may have been ignorant from simply not knowing. I interrupted classes and speeches and took notes.  I stayed open to new ideas, and only asked from others what I would be willing to do myself, such as attending each others services to learn from a different viewpoint. The biggest lesson I ever learned in life was that nobody was lesser because they believed something different, or practiced on a different day, or used a different word for God.  I wasn’t better than them, or right or wrong.  I condemned no one that I could learn from, and hoped that I could teach them some of the same.

               I learned many things I don’t want to be a part of. I learned how I didn’t want to be treated or spoken to.  I learned what people could blame on their religion, and how awful you could be made to feel in the name of the Holy.  I saw some awful bigotry and hate, both in and out of churches. I made decisions that would shape who I have become.  I also learned that no matter who they prayed to or when, or how, the crazy truth of it is:  Almost everybody preached the same thing with a few small differences, while they condemned everyone else who disagreed.

               I even saw this within my own family.  For example, one of my nephews has recently chosen to express himself as transgender.  So he becomes She.  My sister, his mother, chose to support this in the best possible way.  I asked questions like “What name do I use and when” and tried to express the parts I didn’t understand, and learn the rest.  I let this child teach me whats he needed and I have tried to support her as best as possible.  My children followed my example and made me proud.  Come Christmas a couple years later, and our religious mother is visiting from the west, and expressing her opinions.  She wanted to take my sisters child to a counsellor to get fixed, behind my sisters back, and hoped that I would help.  I said no unconditionally. I found out that my older sister had heard our mother venting about this issues, and ripped into her with her opinion that Mom should stay the hell out of it.  I do love that our family is at a stage in life where we can be blunt and rational as we discussed this, since a couple days before Christmas we were throwing around religious and opinion thoughts on the subject.  I got to look at my mother and say “to be honest, your opinion doesn’t fucking matter, since it’s not your child to raise”. My mom looked shocked and started to be offended, but then realised it was not calling her out or insulting her, and that it was correct.  Then I also got to point out to her that at the very least, she should be proud that she raised three children as a single mother, who could all grow into such loving and accepting people that none of us judged or condemned anyone regardless of their way of life or choices.  This is again a very abridged version of this whole conversation, but you get the general idea.  

               One of the biggest wakeup moments that came in my life regarding religion and peoples attitudes towards it came from a church I attended for a while.  After over a year of getting to know people and following their teachings, it came that I would be moving to another city.  I mentioned to a few nice older folks what city I would be going to, and received a few recommendations on a church to look out for.  One particular gentleman, who always went out of his way to speak to myself and my children, and who I believe was an Elder at the church to be respected, gave me this recommendation.  I paraphrase: “You should check out Church A.  They have this and this and would love a new family with plenty of kids. And you wouldn’t have to worry about any of those fags and weird shit.”

               I knew right then that I would never check out his recommendation, and that I would never return to this church.  I have spent time since then really listening extra close to sermons and messages put out by other churches and church leaders, and looking for the nuances and lessons they teach to their youth.  Everything is put forth as support “You can make your choices within your faith”, Pro life, we will support you when you choose Gods way, and so very many more.  Look up newsletters and ads from your local churches and you will see all of these and more in many different wordings.

               Look a layer deeper.  Listen to what these messages say.  “we will support you in gods path, but believe different and you are alone”. “you are evil for choosing different”.  You will go to hell for eternity. Our way is the only way and everybody else is wrong.  Its very thinly veiled, but every church I’ve been to is secretly teaching me to hate those that are different and hoping that I don’t notice.  

               Hate gay people because they don’t follow the bible. Hate abortionists for not supporting this fetus regardless of health or history or any other option.  Our way is the ONLY way.  You cannot be different.  You cannot think your own way.  We can’t prove it except through vague scripture and ask for blind faith because we said so.  You are evil if you disagree.  Don’t look different or act different.  Judge others and condemn them for having an opinion. See a theme here? You can see this in all those local church and religious flyers too.  Just go have a look, I’ll wait here.

                 Here’s what I learned in Sunday school as I see it. Choose to follow and consider my opinion, or don’t.  Your call!

               -The Old testament is a history lesson.  Here is what God wants you to do and why.  Here is what is good and bad, and here is the struggle we went through to get here.  Exactly the same as our kids learning about war and holocaust and local history in school.  Learn the lessons because people already went through them and get the theory behind the fact.

               -The New testament changed everything.  We no longer had to sacrifice because Jesus did it for us. Unclean foods didn’t matter because we were purified in faith. Sinful acts could be forgiven if we asked for it.  Love everybody as you wish to be loved.  Look at the Good Samaritan, he helped a neighbour he should have hated because that’s what he was taught, but he chose to be a good person anyways, regardless of who was on the receiving end.  Jesus spent time with beggars, and the terminally sick, prostitutes, and men who had no other ambition in life.  He loved them all the same and he gave them the same message, regardless of their background, or choices, or personal opinions.  He didn’t ever treat one person as lesser than the next.

               The church teaches us to HATE sinfulness in their interpretation, and to shun those who are different or to try and change them to our own way of thinking.  I don’t care what church you go to, it will teach the same.  Look at these similarities between religions..  Catholicism, Christians of various denominations, jewish, jehovas witness, Mormon, 7th day Adventists, Islamic, Buddhist, even Native cultures.  On a base level, the stories handed down through history are very similar, slightly changed through translation and retelling over time.  The morals of the stories are the same.  Every different denomination of Christianity has the same base teachings and the same roots.  They simply split off because one group within that religion disagreed on a base idea, split off, and taught in their own way.  Now 2 thousand years later, we have Baptists and Pentecostals and Lutherans and Anglicans, and more, all telling us that everybody else is wrong.

               So who’s right?   Only each of us can decide that for ourselves.  Look at all the common base lessons and live your life to the best of your ability.  Follow Jesus teachings, whether you believe he was a man or a prophet, or the son of god, and love your neighbour unconditionally.  Decide where you stand on all the slight differences of opinion. It’s all on your and your choice. But stop spreading hate!

               Hate destroys everything that religions of all sorts teach.  Hate turns religious peoples into conquerers, terrorists, feuding families, and multiple warring factions.  Hate causes pain to those on the receiving end, and stress to those on the giving end. There is no possible positive side to hate.  

               I chose to avoid churches in general for the last few years because I could not handle listening to the hate, and finding the worst possible bigots and liars within the walls of the churches, pretending to be good people on Sunday mornings so other people would look up to them.  One day a week does not get you into the kingdom of heaven.  A band I listened to said it the best way possible when I was a teenager, but even though I always remembered it, I never understood it.  “The greatest single cause of Atheism today are those that praise Him with their words, then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle.”  - DC Talk -What if I stumble

               Stop living hate when you preach love. Practice the words that come out of your mouth, and truly love your neighbour.  His religion, color of skin, gender identity, or relationship status should have no bearing on what kind of person they are.  You don’t have to LIKE everyone, or spend time with people you don’t mesh with, but you have no right to judge those that have never done a thing to harm you.  

               Hate the lies of the church teachings, hate the bigotry, Love the man or woman you see in front of you.  We are all fighting for the same thing: to wake up each morning, and enjoy our lives in the best way we know how. Hate in any form robs us from this enjoyment of life.  You don’t have to believe in God or the Bible to live a good life and be good to others. You only have to have faith in humanity, and making this a good place for everyone to enjoy.  Be excellent to each other.

               Hate is Baggage.  Life is too short to be pissed off all the time. Its just not worth it. – American History X.