nihilismontherocks

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they’re doing very important mission research and whatnot

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mine mine mine

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Clark: Brucie baby. Pudding pop. Sugar sweet. Peaches and cream. My dearest darling. My honey lemon loaf. My moon. My sun. My- Bruce, actively shaking: S-Stop. My nervous system can't handle this. I need epinephrine. Clark, hugging him too tight for him to escape: No, silly. You need love and affection. Let this happen.

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This is in fact life changing, ty op

local woman receives life changing advice from gay cartoon hedgehogs

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Mood Ring by Lorde

objects in mirror are closer than they appear

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interlocking fingers during the pin. holding hands during the pin. is driving me insane

[nihilismontherocks]

John Price x Cat shifter!Witch reader

Witch reader shape-shifts into a cat to stalk price, until he catches her. (BRAIN-ROT)

You are a young witch, an apprentice so to say, of a great lineage, perhaps the greatest in all of the lands and all of the oceans.

Your great grandmother—The great Lady Nightshade—brewed potions so mighty that they could subdue a million men! After all it was because of her aid that the King could be victorious in the great wars. Oh, and your grandmother, well she could fly across the red sea on her broom in just a day! Making the sailors green with envy. And well, we cannot forget your mother. Your mother, she has always had quite morbid curiosities, necromancy being the least of what she can do.

You, on the other hand are not a great witch yet, perhaps middling at best at brewing potions, a little better at healing and well absolutely horrendous at controlling the broom—you fell in the river not too long ago ,after all.

However, you have an ability. A magic woven in your lineage, which after 9 whole generations of great witches , has reemerged. Well it’s a curious ability, one you indulge in more often than necessary perhaps; shape-shifting into a cat. A calico cat in particular with a rust spot on your eye, and a black one just above your left ear.

So, you were on your way to proud spinsterhood,—a right of passage for all great witches—when a curious man had intrigued you. “He’s a general for the Queens Army, quite a mighty one, after all Her majesty rewarded him with the Blackthorne estate” — the blacksmith’s daughter whispered,as she glanced at him at the town hall.

He was broad shouldered , a big man—oh the biggest one you had ever seen, except for the masked knight who had trotted across from your cottage once—He had a peculiar beard was grizzled and always stern.

You had been following for quite a while now, as a cat of course, trotting behind him, sneaking into his estate, you watched him sip a cup of tea at dawn once, even entered into his manor , though his servant drove you out by swatting you with a broom. (oh, the brooms have it out for you).

One gorgeous spring evening, you trotted into his estate, making your way to the garden. You skipped around the little path, smelling fresh roses and a menagerie of various spring blooms, when you saw him, John Price, lounging on the patio chair.

Unlike the many, many other times you had followed him around, observing like a fly on the wall, or perhaps more aptly a cat in the corner, this time, with bazaar brazenness searing your blood, you jumped on to the chair next to him.

“ kitty where did you come from hmm” —he mused with a tender affliction, glancing at you, his eyes crinkling as he smiled.

You licked your paw, and swiped your ear with it, preening yourself for a moment, than rather abruptly you jumped on his lap.

“ aren’t you pretty”, he hummed stroking you with his big grizzled hands—petting your little head, under your chin, behind your ear. Oh, his hands were the heaviest you had felt as a cat or a witch, and the petting was making you purr was also making you drowsy.

However, time was ticking, so you had to abruptly leap off him and scurry home. With the magic wearing off, you knew you would shape-shift back—after all you didn’t want him to have a naked little witch on his lap instead of a cat, did you now.

——————-

You went to see him at his estate periodically after that, which often quite pleased him —“ now where did you come from Cat” ,he acknowledged your presence, stroking your little head, when you often sneaked up on him. Sometimes you would catch a rodent or two as little presents, placing them at his feet. “ oh, quite a little hunter you are”

Often though he would place you on his shoulder as he sauntered around the gardens, smoking a cigar. And when you leapt off him to scurry home, he would hum, disappointed, almost forlorn.

“Wonder where you go off to Cat”

He even purchased a Tuscan leather collar with a silver bell for you, which you often wore on your many escapees around.

————————

A dreadful evening, a gloomy one at that, you were scurrying around the town hall,soaked by rain, when all of the sudden you were scruffed and placed inside a carriage, before you could even hiss, you heard his voice.—“oh you are soaked, aught to get you home before you get the shivers Kitty”.

Now, in ordinary circumstances you would be quite pleased with going along with him, it is would certainly satiate the gaping void limerence leaves you with so often these days. But today was not that day, your magic was waining and soon you would transform back into yourself, a naked you at that.

You tried to escape, oh you did—tried to jump out of the carriage, even hissed at him—which got you a stern reprimand also got you scruffed up and imprisoned in his lap.

“Can’t keep trotting around kitty, going to take you home now, keep you, will be a good house cat won’t you now. “ he said surly, with a slight curious tinge in his voice. This was bad, bad. In mere moments you would turn back in you, and there is no way you could reach back to your cottage in time.

He carried you into the manor and strode toward the library, his steps steady and deliberate. Pushing the heavy oak door shut behind him, he gently set you down before the crackling fireplace, its warm glow casting flickering shadows across the room.

“ Need to get you all dry kitty, hmm”, he hummed, placatingly scratching behind your ear.

Your eyelids grew heavy as you fought to stay awake. Resisting the urge to shapeshift back drained your strength, each passing moment demanding more effort to hold your form. Before you knew it you were gone, lulled into a deep ocean of sleep.

———————-

You woke up with a slow trembling breath, heavy limbed and sleep warm. With the little strength you had you planted your elbows on the mattress and pushed yourself up. Your limbs felt heavy, human heavy, as you leisurely acclimated to your new state.

Then, your breath caught. Across from the bed, in the dim glow of the room, he sat—silent, unmoving—his eyes locked onto you, watching.

“Little witch, we finally meet, at last. “

[nihilismontherocks]

breaking rules

Can we get heavy PDA Joe and everyone’s reaction

joe burrow x gf!reader 

—-------------------—----

Your friends made fun of you relentlessly because, to a lot of the outside world, it looked like you and Joe were just friends, distant cousins even. PDA made you very uncomfortable, and that paired well with Joe, who hated anyone prying into his private life. Of course, his teammates and your circle knew that the two of you were together, but the media had yet to catch on, even though you guys lived together. 

So imagine your surprise when it was now an hour into the team’s post-season dinner party, and Joe had not left your side. Usually,  at these events, you arrive together but then break off, him going to find his boyfriend Ja’Marr, and you going to hang with some of the other WAGs. Then you meet up at the end to leave, and the cycle repeats. 

But tonight, Joe’s hand had been snugly placed around your waist, even when you were talking to other people.  Missing the playoffs had hit him hard, and you had watched him retreat into his shell these past few weeks; you were there for him when he needed it. So you weren’t shocked at his lack of conversation tonight but surprised by the touch. 

The people you were talking to left to grab a drink at the bar, so you took the opportunity to turn to Joe. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, concerned. 

“Mmhmm,” he mumbled. You looked down at his arm wrapped around you and back up at him, arching an eyebrow. “Just want to be close to you.” 

Nodding, you decided you’d let him have a pass tonight to be clingy, even though you were cringing on the inside. Ja’Marr called over to Joe from the other side of the room and you were dragged along to join them. He was sitting on a couch next to Tee, and Joe sat down in an armchair, pulling you down on top of him. Both of his friends’ eyes widened at the sight. 

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Ja’Marr said once he came out of shock. 

“I thought you guys would never beat the siblings allegations,” Tee chimed in and Joe flipped them off before settling his arms tightly around your waist, pulling you against his chest. 

You felt your cheeks flush as you settled into Joe's lap, acutely aware of the eyes on you. Joe seemed unfazed, his thumb tracing lazy circles on your hip as he chatted with Ja'Marr and Tee. You tried to relax, reminding yourself that these were your friends, but you couldn't shake the feeling of exposure.

"You good?" Joe murmured in your ear, his breath warm against your skin.

You nodded, not trusting your voice. Joe pressed a soft kiss to your temple, and you heard Tee let out a low whistle.

"Damn, Joe. Who are you and what have you done with our QB1?" Tee teased.

As the night wore on, Joe's affection only intensified. He peppered kisses along your shoulder, nuzzled into your neck, and whispered sweet nothings in your ear. Your discomfort battled with a growing warmth in your chest at his open displays of love.

"Get a room, you two!" Sam Hubbard called out as he passed by, earning a chorus of laughter and wolf whistles from nearby teammates.

Joe just grinned, pulling you impossibly closer. "Maybe we will," he shot back and you slapped him in the chest. 

Deciding you needed some air, you walked off towards the balcony, naturally with Joe right behind you. 

“I’m giving you a one-night pass for this kind of behavior only because you’ve been so depressing,” you told him and he smirked at your honesty. He stepped closer to you, sliding his arms around your waist while you rested yours on his shoulders. 

“Then I better take advantage hmm,” he said, eyes flickering down to your lips. Before you could protest, his lips were on yours, moving steadily as he found comfort in you. His hands started to dip lower, and you swatted them, causing him to smile against you. 

When you pulled back, you gave him an irritated look, and he pouted. 

“Come on princess, I just need you,” he admitted and your heart clenched at his words. You knew he was holding on to you like a lifeline and he knew you’d do anything to be there for him. 

“Fine, then let’s get a room hot shot,” you said, dragging him off the balcony and towards the front of the venue. Ja’Marr gave you a teasing wave goodbye and you flipped him off. 

Joe chuckled at your gesture, his hand laced tightly with yours as you maneuvered through the crowded room. The whispers and knowing smirks from his teammates didn’t faze him in the slightest, but you could feel your cheeks heating up again.

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” you muttered as you both stepped outside, the cool night air hitting your face.

“Immensely,” Joe replied, his grin only widening. “Can’t let them think I’m a robot all the time.”

You rolled your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips betrayed your amusement. Once you reached the car, Joe opened the door for you with a flourish, earning an eye roll that turned into a laugh. He climbed in after you, wasting no time pulling you back into his lap.

“Joe,” you started to protest, but he silenced you with another kiss, this one softer, less teasing, and more vulnerable.

“Thank you,” he murmured against your lips when he finally pulled back, his voice low and sincere. “For putting up with me tonight. For everything.”

Your heart softened as you reached up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. “Always, Joe. I’ve got you.”

His smile this time wasn’t the playful smirk you were used to. It was small, genuine, and filled with gratitude. You let yourself lean into him, your fingers absentmindedly playing with the chain around his neck as the driver started the car.

For all the teasing and awkwardness of the night, you knew one thing for certain: Joe Burrow might not be big on PDA most of the time, but when he let his guard down like this, you couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

[nihilismontherocks]

pile of clothes hangers found murdered on the streets of london

[nihilismontherocks]

sleepy omega!reader x poly 141 just constantly wanting cuddles or just sliding into their beds in the middle of the night because the massive stuffed teddy in their nest isnt doing it for them-

Gosh dang it, I've become such a sucker for anything Omegaverse 🥹 Thank you for your request! I hope you'll like this blurb 🩷 And I'm so sorry this took so long, omg!

Pairing: alpha!TF-141 x omega!gn!Reader

Warnings/Info: military!Reader; packmates; alpha/omega dynamics; domesticity; hurt/comfort; fluff; teammates/friends to lovers

No matter how much you're tossing and turning while clinging to your favourite ginormous bear plushie (a gift from Price himself), your nest feels... off. It's not nearly as warm and cosy enough as you need it, and you don't understand why.

You haven't made any big changes, have you? You'd simply fluffed up all the blankets and pillows and plushies you own; the usual routine. Your nose wrinkles as you sit up inside your nest to sniff around in the dark. Okay, perhaps the scent of your pack mates isn’t quite there anymore—only barely lingering on your nesting materials, but that shouldn’t bother you as much as it does right now.

They’re right here, just across the hallway in their respective rooms or perhaps still lounging in the living room, quietly suffering with their episodic insomnia. So, knowing that they’re under the same roof with you should be enough, but it simply isn’t.

As you dig yourself out from under your pillow fortress, you immediately shiver as soon as the chilly winter breeze currently sweeping in through the cracked window hits your flushed body, because even in the deepest winter season, you cannot sleep with the window closed. And now clad, or rather drowning, in one of Simon’s hoodies and a pair of warm sweatpants, you’re still cold.

No, something isn’t quite right.

You feel too restless, uncomfortable, and lonely.

Crawling out of your nest, you scramble to your feet and make your way out of your bedroom and into the living room down the hall—where you can already see the flickering light of the flat TV around the corner, though the volume is low and heavily drowned out by your pack leader’s hackle-raising snores. 

Peeking around the corner, not wanting to disturb him, you find John sprawled out on the large armchair, clutching the remote in one hand, his head tipped back and mouth wide open while he continues to sound like a berserker with sinusitis. It’s an endearing sight, seeing him this openly vulnerable and relaxed, and you can't stop yourself from getting a whiff of his sleepy, musky scent as you sniff the air greedily.

It makes your heart flutter and a pleasant shiver run down your spine.

Oh, how tempted you are to simply walk up and crawl into his lap, bury your face into his chest and sleep with him like this, but you don’t want to risk waking him up, so you let out the softest sigh and slowly turn to sneak off into the other direction, back towards your own cold, empty bedroom—

Just to bump into a tall, solid mountain of lean muscle.

“Havin’ fun stalking the Cap while he’s knocked out cold?”

You swallow a surprised squeak and stare up at Kyle with wide doe-eyes as he swiftly reaches out to grasp your forearms to keep you steady and in place. His voice is soft, full of amusement, his warm brown eyes nearly twinkling in the flickering lights of the TV as he looks down at you. “Aw, did I scare ya, little mouse?”

You shake your head adamantly. “No, I was just getting a glass of water.” It’s a white lie, but you don’t want to start explaining something you have no explanation for yet.

Kyle lifts an eyebrow and releases you to cross his arms as he scrutinizes you while you can clearly see his nostrils twitch as he scents you discreetly.

“I see,” he replies eventually, though, knowing Kyle, you can tell that he’s not buying your lie one bit. “So, you’re good, yeah? Headin’ back to your den then?”

The question lingers in the air and as you open your mouth to answer, he beats you to it.

“Or perhaps another room tonight?” Kyle watches your lashes flutter as you blink dumbly, and he ignores the sudden urge to squish your cheeks with his hands and pull your face against his neck to scent-mark you thoroughly. “I’m just saying,” he shrugs, “ya haven’t been seekin’ out any one of us lately, ‘s all.” He’s not accusing you, just stating an observation he’s made.

And it’s true. You haven’t been seeking out the alphas of your pack; too afraid to be viewed as annoying or too clingy. It’s been hard enough to be the only omega in TF-141, after all. You don’t want to be their burden but an asset instead. 

Swallowing thickly, you really wish you had a cold glass of water right about now. “Uhm, well–” You press your lips into a tight line before you shrug, feeling like a complete idiot. At this point, you might be worse than Simon when it comes to articulating your feelings—not that you’d ever willingly admit that out loud.

“I just... don’t wanna bother anyone. You’re all stressed and busy and uh... yeah, I’ll just go back to my room, I guess,” you grumble, hoping that neither sadness nor disappointment spike your scent to tell on you.

Kyle lets out a small huff through his nose and rolls his shoulders as he listens to you. There’s a slight twitch between his brows as you mention being a bother to them, but then he fixes his face into a more neutral expression before he steps aside.

“Alright. Have a good night, sweetheart.”

You give a small nod, wishing deep down that he’d simply tug you along and make you sleep in his bedroom tonight, but Kyle stands stock still, and you walk past him back down the hall and into your empty, chilly omega den—somehow feeling worse than before.

Your gloomy bedroom feels even colder while you rearrange your nest for the third time, but never feeling satisfied with it. You keep swallowing down the little, high-pitched chuffs and whines of distress bubbling up in your throat; afraid someone might hear or smell the underlying bitterness now lacing your usually bloomy, comforting scent.

When the door suddenly creaks open, you freeze and hold your breath, spine straightening as you kneel in the middle of your nest, clutching your plushie to your chest.

“Relax,” Johnny chuckles quietly, his voice hoarse and gravelly with sleep, “…s’ jus’ me, hen.”

He slips through the crack and leaves the door ajar before he casually walks towards your nest, stretching languidly with a yawn before slipping inside with you.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble reflexively, nearly whining, “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

But Johnny only clucks his tongue, eyes already fluttering shut in bliss as he pulls you into his arms. “None ‘o tha’, hen,” he grumbles, letting out a contented chuff as soon as he buries his nose into your hair. “Ah missed ye.”

The vibration of his low rumble makes you shiver, it breaks you out of your momentary stupor, and you swiftly reciprocate his embrace, burying your nose into his neck and huffing his lightly smoky scent eagerly with a happy purr.

And while you and Johnny cuddle, bringing balance back to your room, your bedroom door is pushed open once more and a warm, musky scent is added to the atmosphere—like suede and cask aged bourbon.

Simon slips into your nest and curls his massive body around you from behind with nothing more than a deep, sleepy grumble as his heavy arm snakes around your torso, pulling you closer until the tip of his nose is pressed against the nape of your neck.

Feeling like you’re finally on omega cloud nine at this point, surrounded by two of your precious alphas in your own nest, you can barely hear the other two males stumbling into your room above the beginning snores coming from both Johnny and Simon.

“C’mon, Cap, this way.” Lifting your head up, you can hear Kyle mutter quietly as he guides a sleep-drunk Captain Price towards your nest.

“Stay.” Johnny mumbles in his sleep, curling his arm tighter around your waist below Simon’s arm as you shift in their snug embraces, but before you can reply, Price lets out a soft growl—not a warning but a non-verbal order—and suddenly, all four men arrange themselves in your nest, dragging their bulky bodies around sluggishly until they’ve build a proper cuddle pile around you.

They end up snuggling and hugging you one way or another, their noses pressed into your skin while you’re practically buzzing as you purr for them.

“T’was a proper pain in the arse to wake ‘em up, sweet’eart,” Kyle mutters with a soft sigh, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. “Next time you feel like this, you let us know. We’re here to take care of our ‘mega… and don’t lie to me again,” he grumbles, interlacing his fingers with yours tenderly while your heart thuds steadily against your chest.

“You’re a shit liar.”

[nihilismontherocks]

Enough of these "Bruce Wayne dating Superman" rumors. Yall heard about Clark Kent from the Daily Planet dating Batman? Now that's some wild shit.

[nihilismontherocks]

i think i’ll take my whiskey neat

[nihilismontherocks]

Inferno :: abandon all hope, ye who enter here

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forgot to ppost this!! 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🔥