nihilistic-tendencies

[nihilistic-tendencies]

How do I deal with dangerous/violent sexual thoughts and fantasies related to hypersexuality/trauma. I have a lot of sexual fantasies I wouldn’t dare say here online, and I’d never do them in real life ever. But the thoughts are extremely overwhelming. I struggle with very deep sadistic thoughts and fantasies. I’m thinking about them nearly 24/7. What do I do about this? I’m a system, there’s another alter who’s the stark opposite, she struggles with severe masochistic thoughts and we balance each other out. But how do I deal with it out here? Is it wrong for us to be dealing with our dangerous sexual fantasies by engaging with them in our head (inner world) together? I’d like some advice, please, from someone who also struggles with this.

[nihilistic-tendencies]

I feel like an animal. I think i feel most like a dog/wolf. Sometimes i feel like a large cat. I don’t know, it gets confusing. I greatly dislike the idea of being human. I want to be an animal that hunts for his food, and once full, licks his bloody claws clean while yawning sleepily. I know this is weird, and surely trauma related. It feels wrong to indulge, but at this point I can’t make the thoughts go away. I don’t know what to do.