nonbinarypastels

[nonbinarypastels]

mod note

y’all have my apologies for not being super active on this blog lately, both for the lack of posting and not answering asks. i’ve been absent mainly because i’ve been dealing with Some Shit irl and haven’t really had the mental energy or the inclination to be on this blog but also i’ve gotten really just tired of the discourse on this site and disillusioned with tumblr as a platform as a whole.

i’ve posted plenty before about how the discourse people get so angry about on tumblr is not a reflection of real life views or issues or particularly important in the grand scheme of anything that actually matters in the world and how toxic this site is but lately i’ve particularly been feeling it. i spend time away from tumblr on other sites and out in the real world with people who don’t know about The Discourse and i enjoy it

and then i come back here and see the shit everyone is so violently angry over and it’s just....so fucking senseless. it doesn’t matter. it amounts to nothing. it’s the same “voltron fandom threatening to kill voltron staff for the 20th time” / “the fic you read makes you a monster but watching an hbo show with the exact same content is okay” / “an ace was mean to me once so now i hate all asexuals” / etc etc etc bullshit fucking garbage over and over and over again. the people who know it’s bullshit call out it, they write essays detailing why those viewpoints are bs with sources and history and basic common fucking sense backing them up, and the people who are perpetuating that bullshit just keep on doing it, never listening, learning nothing. 

and tumblr as a platform continues to be shit, run by a staff who does not give a fuck about its userbase both in terms of their safety and the functionality staff offers them. the latest purging of blogs of people who have never broken a single term of service while people who suicide bait other users on a regular basis continue to be able to do that without being deleted is just another example of that. 

and i’m just super over it. i’m tired of the antiintellectualism on this site, i’m tired of being surrounded by people who can be so high on authoritarianism and  still think they’re the Wokest of The Woke, i’m tired of seeing and participating in the same foolish discourse over and over again with people who -- let’s face it -- are never going to change their mind until they want to no matter how many essays you write them about why they’re wrong, and i’m tired of people who legitimately think tumblr discourse is in any way a form of activism much less a meaningful form of it and who think spewing such vile hatred on this website towards anyone who disagrees with them in the slightest about anything is in any way enacting a positive change on the world or helping anyone in it.

i’m tired! we can talk about how problematic it is to tell people to “go outside!” but hey, i fucking went outside and it was nice! and then i turned to look back and realized what a toxic, echo-chamber of a bubble i had exited because normal society is not tumblr! normal people do not get so violent and vicious about the nonsense tumblr does to the degree that we do. hell, normal people are shocked and appalled at the thought of someone telling another person to kill themselves over a fucking cartoon because the idea is so foreign to them -- it is not something that they see as a regular, every-day thing that happens in the environment they’re in at such a frequency that they’re used to it. 

so i’m just kinda tapping the hell out of this shit for the moment. 

i’m not going to delete this blog (tumblr might still purge me though lmao) but i’m not going to be particularly active on it either and at some point in the near future i plan on transferring most of the content over to other platforms (which i’ll link y’all to when i do it, probably within the next few weeks) because i’m at the point where i hope tumblr finally dies and we all collectively fuck off away from it like we did with livejournal way back when too.

and like i recognize that this post reads very negatively, i’m not in a bad mood about any of this and i feel much lighter getting this out and i hope y’all understand where i’m coming from. 

thanks & have a goodnight!

[nonbinarypastels]

I'm an abused kid and I don't like it when fictional abusers get "redeemed" because then everyone expects their victim to be all hunky-dory with them now. I believe the kids today say "miss me with that" "OH DAD YOU USED TO BEAT ME WITH JUMPER CABLES BUT BECAUSE YOU SAID SORRY I FORGIVE YOU AND WILL NEVER MENTION IT AGAIN. IT'S LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. LEMME GIVE YOU A HUG." bullshit. Like society is already pushing us to forgive our abusers, we don't need fiction doing it too.

Redemption and redeeming yourself has nothing to do with forgiveness, especially from the victims of said abuse. The kids today saying “miss me with that” and building campaigns against redemption arcs not just because they don’t like them (because that would be a perfectly valid personal taste), but because they consider them inherently abusive, are completely ignoring the point and how damaging that idea is in real life*.

*once again with feeling: if it were about fictional tastes we wouldn’t be discussing this. 

If someone wants to write the victim forgiving the abuser, then that’s a perfectly valid choice from the writer; there’s closure in that too. And no matter what society says to you, abuse survivor X, shouldn’t legitimize you from depriving abuse survivor Y of their personal coping and their personal way of moving on. And if someone wants to write the victim as never forgiving the abuser but the abuser still gets redemption, then that’s okay as well. And if someone wants to write the victim as never forgiving the abuser and the abuser is never redeemed, never changes, that’s another –guess it– perfectly valid narrative choice. It’s fiction. 

But in real life, when you conflate forgiveness with redeeming oneself and refuse to allow the latter because of the former, all you’re doing is wanting for the abuser to keep on being an abuser. 

Lastly: your example is a straw man, rephrase it if you want to actually talk about this. 

[nonbinarypastels]

[nonbinarypastels]

The Lesbrary Goodreads Project

[nonbinarypastels]

[nonbinarypastels]

What I hate about callout culture?

It leads to mass-reporting and false-reporting. 

This then leads to @staff - either by acting on false reports without looking, or by employing bots to act on their behalf - to terminate innocent blogs. Due to staff being overworked and possibly understaffed, it also means that appeals get overlooked and delayed. I wouldn’t mind this so much, if reasons could be given for why terminations took place beyond standard/copy-paste emails. 

What examples of rule-breaking? What posts? Which blog? 

It leads then to a climate of fear, as people who have been terminated - based only on false/mass reports - can’t speak out, as they fear their appeals will be overlooked (many appeals are, and I have friends who - months or years later - still haven’t been given reasons for their terminations). It also means people are afraid to use the site in general, as no one knows what will lead to a termination, as no reasons are given for existing terminations. 

Amidst all this -? The harassers get off scott-free. 

One today I saw was labelled something like “youarenotamapyouareapredator”, which is encouraging people to mass report with false reports, and has created a campaign to false report even aesthetic blogs. These people - along with porn-bots, hate speech blogs, and illegal blogs - are allowed to remain, while people engaging in debate or discourse and abiding site rules are banned. 

People need evidence for any accusations laid against them. 

People need examples of any alleged violations. 

It’s unethical to terminate without proof. 

You have created a system in which people can start campaigns, as that user has started, to erase any dissenting voices that they dislike, while innocent people are afraid to speak up lest they be terminated, too. I broke no rules, but I was terminated. I was not given reasons or examples or evidence. Meanwhile, my harassers continue with their campaign to target other innocent users. Why are ToS being selectively applied? 

Added to that:

Why is the entire account deleted, not just the accused blog? Why is a person forced to lose contact to friends, their follow and followed lists, and all their content … without proof or evidence, simply based on mass and unfounded accusations? Why not just suspend the accused blog until evidence can be ascertained, without terminating the entire account? 

[nonbinarypastels]

kirbylovesyou replied to your post “impuretale: socialjusticeichigo: thefriendsinmyheadthatilove: …”

if ur ace just date someone who also doesnt want sex ??? there r non ace ppl out there like that .if ur ace obvs dont date someone whos non ace n loves sex… like u gotta date ppl who want the same thing in a relationship , romanticly or sexually…wtf is this post

There is way too much to unpack here, maybe someone else can explain why ‘ace’ doesn’t mean ‘never wants to have sex.’ I am a) allosexual and b) too fucking tired. 

[nonbinarypastels]

Don’t mind me I’m just screaming about all the empty neighbourhoods in my country that no one can move into because private builders want to charge hundreds of thousands of euros for them and no one can pay so they sit empty while children and adults sleep on the streets here in the cold and dumbfucks blame refugees instead of the government who should fix this by seizing the properties and publicising them

Also I don’t care how much was spent on them, it’s evil to create homes and deny them to people because you’re not making the exact amount of money you want

People need homes, affordable homes, fuck the rich who built these places and allow their greed to damage the community

[nonbinarypastels]

if you’re grey-ace, you’re allowed to reblog posts about being asexual that you relate to even if they’re not specifically about grey-asexuality

if you’re grey-aro, you’re allowed to reblog posts about being aromantic that you relate to even if they’re not specifically about grey-aromanticism

if you’re grey-aroace, you’re allowed to reblog posts about being aroace that you relate to even if they’re not specifically about being grey-aroace

if you’re in any way grey a-spec and id with other terms (gay, lesbian, bi, pan, etc), you’re allowed to reblog posts about being gay/lesbian/bi/pan/whatever even if they’re not specifically stating they’re for grey a-specs

sometimes as a grey a-spec it’s hard to really fit in and it can feel like you’re always on the outside of the ace and aro communities and any other communities for other labels you id with, but you’re allowed to participate in them! you’re allowed to reblog these posts. you’re allowed to find them relateable. you’re not stepping on anyone’s toes or hurting anyone or swerving out of your lane by doing this. 

grey a-specs belong just as much as anyone else, please don’t listen to that little voice in your head telling you that you don’t. ✨🖤 

[nonbinarypastels]

the really amazing part of all this is a few years ago I was an ~~exclusionist~~ with bad arguments and bad opinions and I’m general just a bad attitude.

then I grew up and learned some compassion and empathy.

[nonbinarypastels]

it’s okay to be demisexual / demisexuality is a real and valid sexuality / you deserve to be respected as a demisexual person/ it’s okay to be proud of your demisexuality

[nonbinarypastels]

i have a hot take idk if yallre ready for it

[nonbinarypastels]

Backing up your Tumblr blog to WordPress

In this tutorial we’ll teach you how to make a copy of your Tumblr blog onto WordPress.com to act as a backup.

The first two steps don’t need to be followed if you already use WordPress.com.

1. Sign up for a WordPress.com account

You need a WordPress.com blog, simply follow the steps to select your username and confirm your account via email.

2. Open WordPress Admin

Click on My Site

Select the WP Admin you wish to import into

3. Visit the import tools page

In the sidebar menu select ‘tools’ and then ‘import’.

4. Select import from Tumblr

5. Allow Tumblr access

Click the ‘Connect to Tumblr to begin’ button. You may need to log into Tumblr if you haven’t already. Be sure to allow access to WordPress.com

6. Start the import!

Once authenticated you can select your Tumblr blog from the list of your blogs and click on ‘Import this blog’.

And you’re done, WordPress.com takes care of the rest and will create a copy of your posts onto your WordPress.com blog.

[nonbinarypastels]

How to Backup your Tumblr

I was just semi-complaining that I was still looking for a decent way to backup my +4k posts without having to use paid services or even just wordpress (which has an import from tumblr tool that asks for permission to access your blog and also make posts), when I decided to actually put some effort into my google search. 

Results were positive: I have successfully backed up my blog* 

*By which I mean: everything that I have ever posted.  Not included: drafts, queue, likes, followers, following, comments, notes, chat. 

I followed this method (word by word), and now have a 450 MB folder on my computer with the name of my blog on it containing: 

1. Folder “Archive” (contains .html files listed by month) 2. Folder “Media” (contains gifs and images, mine has +1k files in it; might contain also audios but I have no way of confirming that because I’ve never reblogged an audio post from this blog) 3. Folder “Posts” (contains single .html files, each one a post; I have +4k files in it) 4. Folder “Theme” (contains only my avatar, but it might be a matter of if you have personalized themes or not) 5. .html file “Index” (by opening it it will give you the archive of your blog organized by month; clicking on a month will open up the archive for that month, and you’ll be able to read all the posts for that month as if you were on your blog**, except sans your theme graphic, with each page containing 50 posts)

**I can see gifs, links, embedded videos, tags, number of notes (but I can’t open up the notes, clearly), text is also correctly formatted. 

So yeah, in case anyone wants a very quick way to back up their blog, it took me less than 10 minutes. 

P.S. I didn’t have any issue, but to be on the safe side always check for spyware and virus threats before and after downloading anything. 

[nonbinarypastels]

Honestly the amount of “anti radfems” who eagerly spread their posts, their articles, or their most famous quotes, recommend their books, praise them, use their rhetoric, etc…. it’s shocking sometimes.

If you want to claim you’re anti radfem, maybe you should look into what radfems believe, who spreads their rhetoric, what their rhetoric sounds like, who is famous among them, what works they produce, etc., so you can stop saying you hate them and never want to show them support while simultaneously actively supporting them all the time and gushing about how great or smart or wonderful they are?

I mean doesn’t it seem counterproductive to make no effort to make sure you’re not knee deep in radfem rhetoric before you share something while also saying you don’t want to share stuff dripping with radfem rhetoric?

I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to see a post that’s basically like “I support sex workers and hate swerfs and also here is why I love Andrea Dworkin and her explanations of why sex work is evil and anti women.” Which might sound like an exaggeration, but a lot of you “anti swerfs” really seem to love famous swerfs… And the same can be said of “anti twerfs” who seem to love transmisogynists…

You need to learn that something doesn’t have to say “I hate trans women and sex workers” to be radical feminism and that it often can sound like a really reasonable, well thought out, meaningful and deep analysis of society to the untrained ear that can’t pick up the tiny little signals that tell you a radfem wrote it. So train yourself!

And don’t expect trans women and sex workers to train you and do all the work of making sure someone isn’t a twerf or swerf for you. You have to pull your own weight here.

At the very least, look up famous radfems! Read a wikipedia article on radical feminism! Something! That knowledge would really help a lot of you and would make a huge difference for you.

Just think about it, okay? Because if we want to make safe spaces for trans women and sex workers, what is currently happening is not going to do it. So let’s change what we are doing. Okay?

❄💙 Bella 💙❄

[nonbinarypastels]

(Image description: white text over a background of silver glitter that says “queer women are wonderful”. End image description.)

[nonbinarypastels]

okay like. supposedly being interested in m/m relationships, or even a specific m/m relationship because you like the specific dynamic depicted is fetishizing. because it’s only acceptable to take an interest in any m/m relationship if you’re a man who likes men, apparently. BUT then also m/f relationships are supposedly relatable and accessible to everybody???

or maybe.

just maybe.

that’s a bullshit argument used to shut down enthusiasm for anything that isn’t heteronormative as well as to shame a group of what is perceived to be young women and girls. because any time young women like anything at all, however harmless or even positive and uplifting, that thing is relentlessly mocked and derided as shallow and ridiculous.