noonecantrulyescapethenight

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

i feel like an often overlooked downside to 10-episode seasons and the death of the "monster of the week" format is that we get way less whump variety nowadays. used to be that there'd be dozens of opportunities for your fave to get punched or kidnapped or hypnotized or what have you. these days if it doesn't fit into the main plot, it just doesn't happen. this is a tragedy. we should be protesting.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Rosanna Pansino in 2018: (standing on a stool) welcome back to my YouTube channel!!! Today we are making homemade cookies inspired by a popular cartoon! :)

Rosanna Pansino in 2024: I have reported Mr Beast to the FBI

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

have you guys ever realized anti ai also means things like character.ai. like the site with the fandom blorbo chatbots that scrape off actual fandom writers n shit. right. Right.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

crash

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Rosanna: Can you imagine getting paid for being cute?

Safiya, quietly: You’d be a billionaire.

Rosanna: What?

Safiya: What?

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Nikita: So here’s the tea.

Jael: For the last time, it’s called a mission report!

Bretman: Jael, shhhhhh. I want to hear the tea.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Watching Matt and Lele Argue

Eva: This is bad.

Tim: I know.

Tim: I wish we had popcorn.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Mystic: The Cursed God's like the coronavirus. Anyone with a brain cell would figure out to stay six feet away from him, minimum.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

What do Escape the Night YouTubers and the Hong Kong police have in common?

They put on a clown nose and suddenly no one recognizes them anymore!

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Joey: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Manny: Well, Mat and I-

Mat: *elbows them*

Manny: -wouldn’t know.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Oli: Fake ID, fake credit card… You got anything that IS real?

Sierra, smirking: My boobs.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

How Season 5 is gonna start:

Colleen: Joey, get out of the box!

Joey: You're not my mommy!

Colleen: Get out of the fucking box! I am your mom-

Joey: You're not my mom!

Colleen: I am your mom. Get out of the fucking box--

Joey: I'm in a box and you're not!

Colleen: Hey! If you don't, I will call the Collector. Get out of the fucking box! Get out of the box--

Joey: I'm literally in a box, and you're not! I'm literally in a box, and you're not!

Colleen: Get out of the box--

Joey: You're not my mom!

Colleen: Literally get out of the box!

Joey: Tell me it's the Collector. I don't give a fuck!

Colleen: [stammers, then recomposes herself] Get out of the fucking box!

Joey: No!

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Season 3, Episode 6:

Colleen: One of you will betray me tonight.

Matpat: Is it me, Colleen?

Colleen: No.

Ro: Is it me, Colleen?

Colleen: It's not you either.

Joey: Is it me, Colleen?

Colleen:....

Colleen: iS iT mE, cOlLeEn?

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Analysis and Headcanon Names of ETN Discord Teasers

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Do it for the Vine

Tim: What if I just play it on my phone real quick?

Ro: We are not playing the imperial march when The Collector gets here.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

Season 1 is Back… or Is It?

Recently, the ETN Discord server was established, inviting us as players to Escape the Night in a Season 1 setting (at least, that's what the invitation says).

Over the past couple of days, Mr. Teaseceffa himself has been releasing teasers of the new season, starting with a lovely picture of - you probably know, but I still have to say it - himself. The file name is “savant.jpg”.

The next is “gambler.jpg”.

But Justine definitely looks off. For one, her hair is now… red. Her eyes are green. Her facial shape and her lipstick colour are different from Season 1 but the image is uncannily similar to her introductory card in Season 1 overall. Yesterday, we were shitting ourselves over whether this is a brain fart from the artist or deliberate, e.g. copyright.

Today, we have our confirmation that it is the latter - here's “fixer.jpg”, and once again, she is just a little different. Most noticeably the hair colour, from copper to a grey that looked greenish at first glance when I woke up at 5-something in the morning (not sure from nightmare or just a weird dream involving a crossover between PJO and local politics). Her skin tone also appears to be darker, her eyes are brown, and her outfit is just a tad greenish.

And not to forget, her introductory caption:

She can fix it all, except her broken heart.

Who or what broke her heart? As we all know, love is a powerful motivator for a good many things, including driving one to evil. I'm just worried now…

I'll also let y'all know my headcanon names for the New Guests (not YouTubers because the mods said they aren't YouTubers… and probably copyright reasons too):

Redhead!Justine: Jeanne Ezra

Green!Andrea B: Anna Brock

Joey can keep his name like he kept his looks.

More to be posted tomorrow.

[noonecantrulyescapethenight]

wtf shane

Lemme just add onto this shane dawson shit. He tried OUTING dan and phil. OUTING THEM. so many damn times. Shane needs to be held accountable for his actions.