not-bumbles-guthrie

[not-bumbles-guthrie]

this must be the place is a free jcink skin! 

features:

light/dark mode and font size toggles using @yunothenine​‘s dark mode toggle script responsive layout tabbed profile application 5 member groups mini profile super-basic posting templates & font styles

preview | setup files & instructions | credits | policies

please reblog if you’re planning on using! :) 

[not-bumbles-guthrie]

𝒷𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒻𝓉 - project + characters

In an attempt to actually write something, I’ve spent the past day designing a pinterest board for the main cast of my dream film, 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒻𝓉 (title tbd). Here’s a little info about the project:

Following in the footsteps of her famous blonde foremothers, Violet A. Williams takes the title of HBIC with a smile. Yet, where would Regina be without her Janice? Tate Hamilton, former friend turned warring Queen Bee, threatens Vi’s status. Little does Tate know that she’s playing a dangerous game, falling into the trap of merciless witch who isn’t quite aware of her powers yet. After writing off Violet Williams for years, it appears that the students of [School Name TBD] High, especially Tate, are about to face the wrath of a bimbo blonde.

Project Influences:

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Jawbreaker (1999)

Mean Girls (2004)

Sugar and Spice (2001)

Legally Blonde (2001)

Carrie (1976)

Euphoria (2021)

Skins (2007 - 2013)

John Tucker Must Die (2006)

She’s All That (2009)

But I’m A Cheerleader (1999)

Heathers (1988)

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂

Note: This is terribly underconstruction (which ik it’s dumb to post this because it’s under construction, but it’s meant to be for my own reference). 

𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝑔𝓊𝒸𝒸𝒾 𝑜𝓃, 𝒷𝑜𝑜��𝓈 𝑜𝓊𝓉, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹, 𝒹𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓃'

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Violet Abigail Williams 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞/𝐬: Vi, V, Abigail, Abby, witch (jokingly of course... r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶?) and bitch. She's been called each more times than she can count.

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 16 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: June 24th, 2003 | Cancer 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞: Junior 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬: 𝒞𝒽𝑒𝑒𝓇 𝒮𝓆𝓊𝒶𝒹: 𝒟𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒶:

𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦: Sabrina Carpenter

════════════ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ════════════

𝐿𝑜𝓎𝒶𝓁 ✰ 𝑀𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓅𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒 ✰ 𝒥𝑒𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓊𝓈 ✰ 𝐵𝑒𝑔𝓊𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 ✰ 𝒜𝓂𝒷𝒾𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈 ✰ 𝐵𝓇𝒶𝓋𝑒 ✰ 𝐸𝓁𝑜𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓃𝓉 ✰ 𝐸𝓃𝑒𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉𝒾𝒸

⊱ Adults have a tendency to miscount Vi. Her peers, not as much, but they’re inclined to believe she “isn’t as bad as people say she is” given her naturally sweet demeanor. She doesn’t come across as a viper lying in the grass, but rather a kind-hearted rich girl who has more of a passion for fashion than achieving valedictorian {which couldn’t be farther from the truth if you jump down to her secrets}.

⊱ No one could ever say that Violet isn’t passionate, almost to the point of headstrongness, but it’s to her benefit. She believes in being the mastermind of one's own success, and she won't let anyone "get in [her] fucking way." Despite her seeming conservativeness, Violet is quite the feminist. She’s often quoting Simone de Beauvoir, Anne Brontё, and Audra Lorde. Vi wants the world in the palm of her hand, and she’ll be damned if anyone stands in her way. B̶u̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'t̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶v̶i̶c̶i̶o̶u̶s̶…Some would call this excessive, but she calls it passion. Some might call her way of success manipulative, but she calls it necessary. Of course, no one can confirm this, they just suspect her true nature beyond the shiny exterior of bubble-gum smacks and Crest white-strip smiles.

⊱ V shows people how she feels through actions. She’s incredibly good at giving a hug when she senses people need it. She’s loyal, but this doesn’t happen easily, which is why she holds grudges so easily. There’s a lot she expects out of those she loves, barring perhaps her father, but she gives back just as much, if not more. However, that isn’t to assume that Violet isn’t fantastic at small talk. She’s quite the conversationalist, and she used to do Debate in middle school. Vi can squeeze in two hundred words a minute and somehow she makes sense.

⊱ Easily jealous, V gets attached quite easily. This can be a good thing since it shows her undying loyalty to those she loves, but it tends to get her in trouble more than anything. With her inability to move on from something peacefully, her many flirtationships often end in the boys mysterious being replaced by pigs or simply transformed into monsters. Her friendships also have the capacity to suffer too. Not to mention the amount of times she’s gaslighted people…and the amount of times she’s been called out publicly for it.

⊱ Speaking of abusive tactics, that whole ambition V has? Yeah, she tends to get a little carried away, especially when it comes to human interaction. Half of the conversations people have with the social butterfly usually are only happening because she’s working an angle. Whether it’s for gossip, a hookup, notes, or ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶u̶r̶s̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶, Violet has a certain magic around her that allows her to get away with it- for the most part. She lost countless semi-friend back home because of this, but she finally got the balance right for {Name TBD}. According to her, Vi doesn’t even realize she’s doing it until the person has already left. She just wants to be in control. All. The. Time.

⊱ As a massive flirt, she’s always got some guy on the tip of her finger. She didn’t use to be this way, but something about being in an unknown place empowered her. Made her bold. It was as though the glowing-effect she has amped up a notch, and she knew how to use it for once. Instead of repelling people, it attracted them. Made her desirable. Or something like that. It isn’t as though she tries, though. She just ends up making out with one dude after talking to him for a total of ten minutes. Without. Even. Trying. Hell, half the time she can’t even recall the conversation they had. She just knows it wasn’t memorable enough to stick with him for the long haul. O̶r̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶'s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶-s̶o̶-s̶u̶b̶t̶l̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶i̶t̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶s̶u̶e̶s̶. Or the fear of rejection. Maybe add a dash of fear for how getting attached so someone might turn out. Who knows!

⊱ V easily lies to herself about her motivations and her strengths. To some extent, she doesn’t fully understand her capacity as a manipulator. Or her narcissistic tendencies. However, there’s the other part of her that pretends these blatant flaws don’t exist when she’s fully aware of them. Thankfully, not everyone has completely caught on to how self-aware she is or else she’d be friendless. They just assume she’s a spoiled rich girl like everyone else in this school.

⊱ Managing a full schedule, starring in play after play, practicing daily with the cheer squad, and m̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ has its tolls, but Violet is always full of energy. She’s actually an insomniac, scoping out the school grounds well past midnight for no reason other than. She feels she should? Something about the power that courses through her, the way it feels like a rapid river draining into her heart with every beat, won’t allow her to rest. Or think straight. This is also the source of the numerous blonde moments she has (perhaps another reason why people don’t see her as calculating as she actually is).

⊱ Violet has an insatiable lust for power and the ability to lead. She believes she wouldn’t be abusive (just a little convincing to “get things done!”), and she could be the difference between a mediocre show/routine and a memorable one. In Georgia, she was often overlooked in this department, despite her abilities. Everyone underestimates her back home, including her father.

⊱ With her insomnia comes the impulsive bravery! Vi is unafraid of the dark, spiders, knives, murders, the Boogey-man, you name it. She’s pretty immune to it all! She believes in them all (including the Boogey-man. Don’t laugh!), but she’s confident in her ability to fight them off, especially if she has a team behind her (particularly one that she’s the front runner of).

quote coming soon

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Isaiah Wayne Northerner 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞/𝐬: Affectionately is called “Wolfie” by Violet

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 17 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: TBD 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞: Senior 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬: TBD

𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦: TBD

════════════ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ════════════

Personality coming soon.

quote coming soon

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Izza Kaina Bilal 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞/𝐬: Iz

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 17 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: TBD 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞: Senior 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬: TBD

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Black.

𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦: TBD

════════════ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ════════════

Personality coming soon.

quote coming soon

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Aoibhe (Eva) Arthur Doyle 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞/𝐬: Eve

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 16 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: TBD 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞: Junior 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬: TBD

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Green.

𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦: TBD

════════════ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ════════════

Personality coming soon.

quote coming soon

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Tatum Antoinetta Hamilton 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞/𝐬: Tate

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 16 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: TBD 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞: Junior 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬: TBD

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Blue.

𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦: TBD

════════════ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ════════════

Personality coming soon.

quote coming soon

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Helen Greta Gutenmeir 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞/𝐬: N/A - Helen goes by only “Hey-lene” so she considers even calling her “Hell-en” an offense.

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 15 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: TBD 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞: Sophomore 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬: TBD

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Purple.

𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦: TBD

════════════ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ════════════

Personality coming soon.

quote coming soon

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Nina Santo Alvarez 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞/𝐬: Santa, though only as a joke. She doesn’t normally appreciate the jokes about her middle name

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 17 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: TBD 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞: Senior 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬: TBD

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: White.

𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦: TBD

════════════ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ════════════

Personality coming soon.

quote coming soon

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Maddox Earle Hamilton 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞/𝐬: Maddy

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 17 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: TBD 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞: Senior 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬: TBD

𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦: TBD

════════════ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ════════════

Personality coming soon.

[not-bumbles-guthrie]

When The Beasts Run Wild

A weird choice for a first tumblr post but alas! I must undermine expectation! If you’re unlucky enough to be interested in reading this, here’s a little description:

In a deserted environment, brutalized by nuclear fallout, we find Cherry. She’s a quiet, nihilistic young woman plagued by the knowledge that she has lived her entire life in the remains of a society that no longer exists. The story follows her as her fellow survivors celebrate the Summer Solstice. Unfortunately, more seems to be at hand as it dawns upon Cherry and her lover that the world might be ending soon.

When it came to the explosion, no one imagined it would lead to the downfall of humanity. It would lead us to a return to order, an acoustic version of the world the humans had created. They would no longer be a part of it. It was a strange concept to grow used to as the days passed, and people were eaten at by the radiation. Of course, there were people that ran to the nuclear hostels, the ones hidden deep in the underbelly of Mother Earth. Yet, they talk of those places being overrun. One person says they were there when the President was found, slumped over. She’d also been killed by the radiation from the second blast. The person who told me this would die too in the coming weeks. Her face was bloodied when she took her last breath, shaky and demure. Then, with a flourish, she sucked in one last time, as hard as she could, and breathed out, “Fin!” While she didn’t have the strength for that exclamation point, I like to imagine her enthusiasm behind it is deserving of the emphasis.

Dogs run free now. If I had to take a guess on who ruled the expanse of land Mother left us, it would be them. She seems to have made them impervious to the air, to the invisible killer. Then again, we believe that she made us impervious to the same air. Perhaps we are just lucky, though. The dogs are destined. Eventually, we will die out. I don’t think the same can be said about the puppies, with their floppy ears and jovial smiles that cut through the particles.

I toss a piece of my flatbread to the yappy pup at my ankle. Her name is Annika, after Queenie’s grandmother who survived the first blast only to die because of the second one. She isn’t my dog; unlike most of the people here, I don’t choose dogs. They find me, visit me, and then they drift away either to their human companions or back to the dust and decay. Mother Earth would’ve blessed me with one if She wanted me to tend to a dog. They are Her chosen successors, after all. I’m merely here to die and be eaten by one of them when the time comes for my body to return to Mother through a dog’s shit that will hopefully make this land fertile once more.

Or maybe it won’t. Who fucking cares? It’s not like there’s a 9 a.m. office job to attend or a peewee football game to cheer on my snot-nosed kids at. There’s the dogs, the open sores, the radiation, and Mother Earth. That���s all. Those are the last things a human will ever know.

I used to ponder what the limits of humanity would be. I thought I would see the end of it, and that ending would be magical. We would finally know what the finality of the human brain was, what its capacity was. However, it’s become quickly apparent that in my eighteen years, nothing will ever show me that capacity. This is the capacity. The height of human invention and creativity? Its own destruction. How poetic. And to think, I was a baby and I missed it all.

It’s weird, living in a sarcophagus of time. I know everything about a culture that is dead. A species that is dead. Soon, I will be dead too. I’ve been told, by a doctor who lives in the camp, that most of us will only make it another 15 years. Maybe I’ll make it longer, he said, because I miraculously survived the first two blasts before the age of five. If I didn’t die then, perhaps I’m meant to last long enough to outlive the cancers and the ARS. Personally, I don’t think he was a very smart doctor. Even I know that’s not how radiation works. Put simply, I will be dead. It’s only a matter of when Mother Earth decides to reclaim me.

Father sits in The Temple when I return with Annika. The growth of what few flowers and vegetables can be produced in this climate surround him, billowing at his feet. His toenails were kissed by the vines of the potatoes, which had grown gnarly like his bunions. Father was a sight for sore eyes, with the fallout aging him past his years. He deserved to have a big, great white beard, but alas. All he had to show for his near two decades of turmoil was a small patch of growth on his face. He no longer had a full head of hair, and the sores on his skull near his neck opened daily with each movement. That’s what filled my vision as I walked towards him, as his head was bowed in prayer.

“Father,” came out soft and trembling. I cleared my throat. No need for that.

“Any news? Has Her Graciousness spoken to you?”

He spoke about Mother with a reverence that no one in the group possessed. He worshipped her. My mouth became dry, and its taste made me nauseated. There was nothing to report. Mother Earth had never spoken to me. She never spoke to him, why would that change with me?

“Yes, Father. She has.”

His eyes widened, pupils dilating as he took in more light. Blue rhinestones. “What did She tell you?”

I glared at Annita, nudging my head to snap back and tell her to kindly fuck off. The stupid animal simply sat there and stared at me. I rolled my eyes. “Stupid girl,” I muttered before looking Father in his eyes. “Mother Earth tells me that we will be safe for the coming Solstice.”

We had no idea if the Summer Solstice was close or not, actually. We assumed, based on the markings Monsignor Karl had kept for the past nineteen years since the first blast knocked out the power grid in the eastern hemisphere. He was the original Keeper, passing on the reins to Ingrid after he passed. It was hard to watch him go, as the cancer overtook him. For the last weeks, he did nothing but bleed from his mouth. Thanks to him, we are able to honor Mother. Kind of.

“That’s a good girl. Thank you, Cherry.”

I nodded in response, bowing at Father, before walking away. Annita followed me, yipping as we made our way to Camp. Ingrid acknowledged me with a demure nod as I passed her. She wore an ornate necklace, one that was found through scavenging when the Monsignor was still alive, that held a long-stopped pocket watch as its pendant. It was the Monsignor. It ran for the first few weeks following the Chernobyl incident, before the battery finally died. It was what helped him keep the time in the first days. Now, Ingrid wore it to simply mark herself as a special one. She could study sun patterns and tell you the approximate time of day, which made her invaluable, especially when it came down to times like the Solstices. These days, though, she seemed to be slipping up more and more. It made sense, given she was always awake when I woke up for my nightly leak. She had to be tired after being up half the night.

“Hey,” I called out before plopping myself down in front of her sundial.

“Hey yourself. Your shadow is fucking up my clock.”

That was all I needed before I was brushing myself off and moving away from Gritty. It was no matter; she was routinely not in the mood to fuck around. “Talk to you later, precious. Perhaps I’ll visit you on your nightly ‘stare at the sky’ session?”

“Fuck you,” came from behind me as I walked away. “Go concoct more lies.”

The last part came out quietly, as a small tease. My body froze up at first, with my back to her, but I could hear her chuckling in the annoying way she would. I flipped her off before turning into the tent that held our food. Dinner, it appeared, was served.

The small feast consisted of grains, including sunflower seeds, and bits of wild strawberry. For the group of ten people, it would barely make us feel full, but it was enough to satisfy the Itch. When your stomach lining is eaten away for so long, even a smidge of food does away with the Itch for a few. It would at least let us sleep until the Sun came up, flooding us with the blessings of Mother. Ingrid sat across from me, kicking at my shins when she caught me staring at her plate, which was empty but for a bit of juice stain from the strawberries.

“Perv,” she said with as much menace as love. Her smirk told me everything.

I rolled my eyes, playing with my ponytail, wrapping it around the ends of my finger. Perv. It rang over and over in my mind. So what? Was how I wanted to respond. I didn’t, though. My throat stopped me. My heart stopped me.

“Thank you for this blessed bounty, Mother Earth,” Father’s voice rang out.

“Thank you, Mother,” we whispered in a low baritone. Our heads were bowed over our empty plates.

“We worship you for saving us, Lover. Thank you for blessing us with eternal servitude to you. We will cleanse your Home, Wife,” Father continued with our heads dipping further towards our empty plates. There was a small clang as my glasses hit the edge of the ceramic. Gritty kicked at me again. I almost giggled.

This was my moment. I knew this. I had practiced this countless times. I raised my head to see the crown of Ingrid’s head, and I stopped for a minute. Her dark hair caught the last rays of the sun, and I was blinded. My voice cracked as I started us all in, singing, “Danke- Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen.”

“Thank you for all the joy you bring,” everyone started in on the second line, holding their hands out to each other.

Miss Fieri grabbed my hand. Her painted red nails scratched at my palm, and the old hole in the corner of her lip caught my eye as I faced her. Her face sagged, and her eyeliner was smudged. It was a miracle she had any. To my right, Monsignor Karl’s son, Vlad, sat though I had to reach out to wrap my palm around his amputated wrist. He smiled as he sang the lines, “Save those lies, darling, don’t explain.” It was strange to think about the fact that Mother blessed him with the stupid mustache the twinkled with as we sat there, singing. Yet, he was too stupid to become the next Keeper. That’s why we have Gritty.

Across from me, Gritty winked at me. She nodded at my hand on Vlad’s stump, and I knew what she was doing. Who’s the perv now? I thought. I relinquished my smile, giving her a disappointed nod. “Get your head out of the gutter,” I mouthed while Queenie fucked up the “Auf wiedersehen” despite the fact that her mother is from Germany. Dumbass. Gritty caught my look towards Queenie, smiling. She flipped her hair, impersonating the prima donna. I held in my laughter, smiling at her. I shook my head again, but this time in appreciation.

Then, I saw Father’s gaze. His eyes narrowed, brows furrowed so that the long spindly hairs were more apparent. His scar across his face was terrifying enough without the expression. I avoided looking him in the eye for a reason. My mouth formed a thin line in response. I bowed my head, and we finished the hymnal for Mother. We let go of each other’s hands to our lips, kissing our hands, and shooting the kisses towards the ground. Oppa and Kyle gave small whoops and hollers as the old woman and the young man hugged each other. I watched them closely, noting the miracle of their friendship.

“Thinking about the time you fucked him?”

“Fuck you, Gritty. It was four years ago.”

“We all know how formative that was for you.”

“You fucked him too. Shut up.”

“You know we’re supposed to fuck him again.”

“Yeah,” I whispered as we walked further from the tent. Oppa and Kyle went their separate ways, with the kind old woman heading to her tent, wrapped in her shawl she swears Stevie gave her. Kyle appeared to be more preoccupied with the new girl we picked up. Her name was Cola. Like the soda. She was his new toy. She was only fifteen, but she told Father she hadn’t lost her virginity yet. We were supposed to give her unto Mother soon because of that. I don’t know why she bothered to stay. I suppose the food alone is worth it, maybe the dogs. She’s only been here a week and she already found a little dachshund to be her companion. She’s taken to calling him Nilla. Gritty and I passed them, and I gave Nilla a little pat on the head as he came up to my ankles and pushed his nose against me.

“Do you think they’ll force us to do it when we hold the Ceremony for her?” I asked once we were out of earshot.

“Probably. Father is known for liking convenience,” She responded quietly. Her tone was melancholic.

We found our way out of the light of the camp fires. I scooped her hand into mine. “That’s true. It’s been too long since the last time.”

“I don’t know why we’re supposed to wait until the Solstice.”

“It’s because it’s spring. Fertility and all that shit.”

“Isn’t sex supposed to be sacred? What does the time period have to do with that?”

“I don’t know, man. Stop asking such stupid questions.” I let go of her hand, picking up a stick instead.

She folded her arms across her chest. “Just because you don’t want Mother’s babies doesn’t mean you gotta be a dick because I’m asking questions.”

“It’s not that, and you know it, Grit.”

“Then what is it, Cher?”

I rolled my eyes, facing away from her. “It’s easier to just do this shit than think about why it makes no sense.” It was as close of an answer I could give.

“Yeah, but doesn’t it kill you that Mother Earth says it’s just a sacred act but instead we treat it like this fucking parade that happens once a year. Sometimes twice, if Kyle doesn’t get his jizz in us.” Her head was cocked to the side as she studied me. We stopped at the edge of the woods like we always did. We knew no one could see us all the way out here. They just assumed we were playing in the woods, as we had since kids. Not questioning the basis of our existence. I threw the stick into the woods, hearing a small yelp from some animal. Probably a cat, from the sound. “I just…” I plopped on the ground next to a rock, resting my elbow against it. “It’s easier to not think about it instead of what we can’t do.”

“What is it that you want to do?”

“You know what I want to do,” I fire back.

Her mouth snapped shut. She came and sat down next to me. “You’re the only one stopping that from happening.”

“Existentialism doesn’t work when you live in a nuclear wasteland,” I responded as she put her head on my shoulder. “You’re looking for trouble,” I whisper as her hair tickles my ear.

“Maybe I am.” She shifted so her bicep rubbed mine. “Though, I suppose, you’re looking for it too.”

I stared out ahead of me, looking at the stars that peaked up from the line of mountains. The sun was sinking fast, so only a small blue line spread across the sky, and it only served to continue to illuminate the stars. They were twinkling, like the look in Ingrid’s eye or the way the last rays bounced off her pendant. I wanted to sink into the folds of her essence, even if that was the exact trouble she was getting me into. Her cheekbones were highlighted in the rising moonlight, eyes curled up in a smile. I flicked her black hair behind her shoulder, holding it close to my nose for a brief moment. Beauty incarnate.

“You’re right.” I sighed as I sat back to look her in the eye. “I don’t understand why things got so twisted around here, but they did. Perhaps Mother wants it that way. I can’t tell. She doesn’t speak to me. But you knew that, didn’t you?” I joked, tugging on the braid in her hair.

She smiled, poking my shoulder. “Yes. Perhaps She doesn’t exist at all, have you thought of that?”

My eyes widened, and I almost looked behind me to make sure no one heard her. “That’s not true, and you know it. Why else are we here?”

“Pure chance. Luck. Destiny.” She moved closer to me; her breath fanned over my face. “Have you considered why we’re here?”

I sat back, sitting upright. “No.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Mother exists. Nietzche was right, but Mother isn’t God.”

“I think Father killed her, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“The words have been twisted. The principles have been twisted. Shit, we worship the Earth because of some age old religion that ruled the before times. Wake up, Cherry.”

We weren’t close to each other anymore. We both sat upright, rod straight. Her dark, arched brows captured my attention and I stared at them as she stared at the plains of my face. “It’s not like you and I can do anything to change that. Father rules over us, protects us. At least we have food. At least we’re living in the meantime.”

“I don’t think we’re going to be here for long.”

“I-” I stuttered, stopping. “Grit, what are you on?”

Her eyes were serious. Their brown expanse was narrowed for the first time in a long time. They were hard, determined to be taken for reality. She looked practically possessed. Her dark eyes were almost black. She didn’t speak for a moment. “Ingrid, please, tell me.”

The lost, yet determined, look in her eyes faded and she grabbed my chin, pointing my head towards the sky. “You see all those stars?” I made a noise to affirm yes. “Do you see that green one? Over to the left of the moon?” I made another noise. “That’s a new star. I don’t believe it to be a star, though.”

She let go of me, though her hand held my face still. “Oh,” is all I said. The world came together like a puzzle piece at that moment. That was why she was being so careless as of late. That’s why we were here now.

“You’re going to kiss me before the world ends, right?” I asked in a petite voice that almost broke. It was the only thing I thought of as it occurred to me that my prediction would be coming true sooner than I thought.

It was then that she tucked her hands into the base of my ponytail, anchoring herself to me as she pulled me forward to touch her lips to mine. They tasted of cherry chapstick, something she must have collected when she went out exploring to the local abandoned gas station a few days ago. My tongue instinctively reached out for a better taste, and she let me in. It was then that my hands were all over here, and she kissed me harder.

A week passed, and the Ceremony was upon us. Cola was going to be the star of the show. She was dressed in a red bridesmaid dress we found on one of the group explorations we went on. It fit her perfectly, and coupled with the dandelions in her curly red hair, she was fit to be the Solstice Queen. Kyle was also dressed in his suit that he’d worn for the past two years. Ingrid sat in front of her sun dial, dressed in her normal pair of jeans and a t shirt with holes. She couldn’t be convinced to dress up. I, however, was in a new dress Father had given me. It was a wedding dress like Princess Di’s. It was found in a thrift store, and he had held onto it for this Solstice celebration. It was poofy, and I was forced to wear the headpiece with it. I looked like a sullen bride, with my stained face and ratty hair. Queenie dyed my lips red with leftover strawberry juice. Gritty told me I looked like a pig to slaughter. She was probably right.

“Cherry,” Father called out in his quiet tone. “Come ‘ere.”

I shuffled towards him, passing Kyle and Cola, who stood whispering and touching each other. “Yes, Father?”

The sun was high in the sky, forcing Father to cover his eyes. “Will you get Ingrid in her dress? I know you two are close.” When he saw the light leave my eyes, he continued, “We have to prepare for our Solstice Queen’s first Outing.”

“Yes, Father.”

“I’m sure you can persuade her,” he said with a smirk.

My heart levitated, escaping my ribcage. I looked across the field, over Father’s shoulder, and made eye contact with Gritty. She was looking straight at me with a similar expression to the other night when she revealed to me the nature of the future.

“Yes, Father.”

I passed by Ingrid, nudging her shoulder with mine as I grabbed onto her and forced her to follow me. “Get your fucking dress on,” I mumbled as I led her to her tent.

“He knows, doesn’t he?”

“Probably. He’s acting funny.”

“How would he know?”

“You don’t exactly hide it.”

“Neither do you. You drool in my presence.”

I glared at her. “Bitch.”

“It’s just the truth.”

I rolled my eyes. “Just get dressed. It’s almost twelve. We have to get this show on the road.”

“Wow jeez can’t wait.” Her voice was saccharine.

I didn’t respond. I just waited for her to get into her flowy gown. It was peach colored, and it made her look washed out. Her hair stood out, at least. I played with the ends of it after I helped zip her into the dress. “You look great,” I said in an aimless attempt at flirting.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

It was a miracle she was here. Ingrid had the magical way of being everything all at once. She made me want to relive the artifacts of the past, to dive into that sarcophagus. It hurt knowing that the world was taking that away. It had taken away so much. Mother had taken away so much. I suppose someone has to pay for the sins of the humans past, but I didn’t imagine it would be me. The visceral part of me, in my heart, felt the pain of this realization. I was the penance for disrespecting Mother. This was my service. This was why we did the Solstice Outings. This was why Kyle, Father, and Vlad and the rest of them could fuck whoever whenever. It was why they called it fucking for them instead of an Outing for us. It felt wrong to call what me and Gritty did fucking. It wasn’t that. It was something sweeter, less one-sided. Then again, what we did is the sin that brought us to this aftermath in the first place.

“Is this the price we pay?” I asked as I braided her hair. “Forever damned to a lack of pleasure and to death?”

“I suppose.” She sighed, looking disjointed though connected to what I was saying. “It doesn’t have to be like this. We choose it to be.”

“There you go with existentialism again.”

“It’s not philosophy, my dear. It’s how things are.”

“I didn’t ask to be left to this world. To be forced into this stupid shit.”

“No, you didn’t. But you worship the people, the men, who made it this way.”

“So do you.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.”

I let go of her last braid, letting it come undone. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

“What does being free mean to you, Cherry?”

“What are you? A cheesy sitcom? Let’s go.”

I walked out of the tent without looking back. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

The Ceremony lacked the pomp and circumstance that many of past Ceremonies would have had. There weren’t many flowers we cultivated beyond weeds. We made a bed out of hay, grass, and these pesky flowers. Ingrid and I held onto Cola as we walked her into the circle of people, which consisted of our tribe. Father stood at the head of the pack, with Kyle standing next to him and Oppa on the other side. She was the eldest in our bunch, so she got to be on his right hand side while Kyle stood on the left. Everyone hummed the Hymnal, while sometimes people sang a few of the words.

Danke shoen, darling. Danke schoen...

I wore the veil in front of my face while Gritty and Cola bowed their heads. Cola was only fifteen, from the looks of her, and I felt a pang in my heart as I remembered that Kyle was two years older than me. He was twenty. The difference sat in the pit of my stomach, sickening me, as Cola smiled so sweetly at him. We were by the bed of flowers now. The humming had stopped. She was pure, still. She was worth worshipping. That would change once this was over. She’d be expected to work the fields, collect things. She’d become withered and worn like the rest of us. She was no stranger to hard work, I knew that. She had survived for this long on her own when her mother died a few months ago. Her innocence was simply so palatable in this moment. Though, perhaps that was the problem. I boiled her down to this ball of naivety when she probably had seen more shit in her lifetime than I had. She was nomadic, built with “street smarts” as they used to call it. She was human. That was why the disgust laid heavy on me.

Father put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder. He smiled in his robes, which were really just shawls we found and blessed him with. He stood with a glint in his eye as he spoke.  “Thank you, everyone. Mother Earth has blessed us with a new addition, and may we bless her unto the Earth and manifest Her bounty.”

We nodded, some people making a few grunts in affirmation. Gritty stood stoic, unwilling to do anything more than bow her head. I saw out of the corner of my eye a droplet fall from her face to the floor.

“Cola, darling, step away from your sisters and lay yourself upon our Mother.”

The human stepped forward, kneeling before Father, reaching up to touch the top of his toes from a praying position, before she moved to lay on her chest. From there, Kyle stepped forward, bowing to Father, and then he bent down to unzip Cola’s dress. The red peeled back to reveal white. It was like reverse bleeding. Instead of finding the depth of a person, we were finding the outer shell. Perhaps that was how one got through this.

From there, she was stripped. The dress fell from her chest, revealing her budding breasts, before Kyle pulled it down and off of her, revealing her naked body to the rest of us. He touched her breasts, cupping them roughly, before biting at them. She laid there still, waiting for it to be over. Or at least that’s what I presumed. She didn’t act enthused. That wasn’t her job. Her job was to be there, to pleasure him. Everyone started humming, though not the Hymnal. A different song.

I made it through the wilderness,

Somehow I made it through.

Thankfully, we didn’t sing the lyrics. We hummed. We hummed louder when she started to groan in pain. We hummed even louder when he covered her mouth. We hummed louder still when he finished. We stopped when she sat up. She covered herself again, walking to join us again. She had given herself unto the Earth.

“She gave herself unto him,” Gritty whispered.

I didn’t respond. The sun shined in my eyes, blinding me, as we walked away. Kyle wouldn’t be ready again for another five hours or so, leaving us to tend to Cola before it was my turn. Then, we would turn in for the night before it was Ingrid’s turn in the morning.

It was strange, having an appointment for something like this. It made it better, I suppose, than being shocked by it. Cola wiped at her eyes as we went to Ingrid’s tent. I offered her a shoulder, wrapping an arm around her as we all piled onto Gritty’s cot.

When the sun started to set, we were woken from our nap. Father stood at the opening of the tent. His hands rested on his hips, making dual triangles. His face read of disappointment.

“You silly girls,” he said with a jovial smile, the disappointment fading. “You know it’s inappropriate to sleep together.”

“Sorry, Father,” I started as Cola started to wake up next to me.

“Shut up,” his voice came out hard. He softened as he said, “Just don’t do it again, okay?” though he looked to Cola, not me.

“Sorry, Father,” she said quietly.

“Good girl,” he said back before walking away.

Funny how easy it is to become a pet if you let yourself. Though that was what Gritty was talking about. I chose not to judge Cola because of this.

We got up, picking at each other to make each other primed for another Outing. Gritty fixed my hair, sneaking a small kiss on the cheek before the tent door opened and Oppa came in.

“Let’s go, girls. There’s a shooting comet we see coming our way across the sky. We want to watch it when the sun goes down.”

Gritty and I looked towards each other, and she smiled. My Outing was on a schedule. My life was on a schedule. We knew what this meant. I looked Oppa in the eye. “I’m coming!” It came out happy, bright. It was filled with the last squeeze of life from my lemon.

I left the tent in a flourish. This was it. This was the end. I felt the joy buried beneath me come undone. The string has been cut! I am free. I walk quickly, with Cola and Gritty on either side of me.

“You’ve never looked so excited to be fucked like a stuffed pig,” She teased me quietly.

I looked over to her as we walked to the tune of the Hymnal. “It doesn't have to be like this, remember?” I smiled wide, aware that I looked a little unhinged.

“Yes, you’re right,” she whispered before I stepped away and kneeled down. I didn’t bother to touch the toes of Father before I laid down. In fact, I reached behind me and started to work my zipper down. Kyle murmured, “I got it,” but I didn’t listen to him. His hand stood close to mine as the zipper was worked down. The fabric billowed around me, squishy as I worked my way out of it.

“Cherry, this isn’t how the Outing goes,” he whispered quietly as Father stared down at us.

I didn’t respond. I finished my way out of the dress. I stood up, stepped out of it, and looked Gritty in the eyes. I was naked. Exposed. The stars were looking upon me, as was everyone else. I chose this. It was then that a hand pushed me down, hard, onto my knees. I saw Gritty freeze up, and Cola held onto her harder.

“Cherry,” Father’s voice came out cold. “This is not how the Outing is done.” He pushed me back onto the bed of growth. “Have your way, Kyle,” he said as I laid there, spread out like a plate of hors de o’deauvrs. The circle began to sing.

My fear is fading fast

Been saving it all for you

He bit me, ate my skin, before he fucked me. It was a blip in time. I looked towards the green star, the thing that was coming to destroy us. It was beautiful. I saw life in it. I saw the beauty in all things. I forgot that there was a boy fucking me, brutalizing me, making me his meal. His object. I didn’t care. I wasn’t his. I was this star’s. I was death impending. I was free.

When he was done, I didn’t wait. I plopped upright and walked away naked, forgetting the stupid costume. I wrapped an arm around Gritty’s waist before taking her hand and running off into the night. My bare feet pounded across the wasteland’s floor. The star was coming closer. It would be here soon. I knew this chapter was coming to a close. I was going to end it with her.

We made our way to the edge of the forest.

“Can I unzip you?” I asked Ingrid.

She nodded, smiling, as she turned around and pulled her elegant hair towards her front. It twinkled and wrinkled down her breasts. She was elegance, the form of death that I least expected. I pulled her close and kissed her, enveloping myself in her the way I needed to a week ago. I heard the sounds from the camp as the sun disappeared but the star came closer and illuminated the expanse of earth. I paid them no mind as I danced with Ingrid. Eventually, we became dizzy and fell.

Her hand laid on my bicep, and mine on hers. We stared up to the sky as we had a week ago when we kissed for the first time. The green of the meteor shooting towards us blinded me, but I kept my eyes open. I started to sing quietly as Ingrid’s fingers played at my skin, touching me. “Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen. Thank you for walks down Lover's Lane.”

My voice was awkward, and I didn’t sing in tune. Ingrid rolled into me all the same, shielding herself from the green glow. I wrapped her hair around my finger. This was death. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. She was who I wanted to die with.

“This is what free means to me,” I whispered as she continued to hum the song, taking it for her own.

I could see the details of the rock now. The edges were curved, like the indents of her body. My heart left its cage. It floated above me, blocking out the death rock. This was what was coming to claim me. It sung the song of my soul, repeating back to me the song I had just been singing. It was mine. This was my choice.

The green became more intense. She wrapped herself closer to me. My heart sung louder. This was it. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.