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PUPARIA (ピューパリア) — 2020 | dir. Shingo Tamagawa

[notsp1derman]

an unimpressed review of saltburn, directed by emerald fennell

[may contain spoilers]

All my friends know that I'm a stubborn little shit that will watch all the new and hyped stuff only MONTHS after everyone stopped talking about it. So to everyone's surprise, especially mine, I watched Saltburn just weeks after its release.

My boyfriend and I decided to do a double feature of Call Me By Your Name and Saltburn, because people kept comparing the two of them, and to those people I say: WHAT THE FUCK? Do you even have a single braincell between all of you? Saltburn actually made me realize how immature my first opinion of cmbyn was, because you can't just take one or two questionable sex scenes in a beautiful queer coming of age movie and compare it to whatever the fuck Saltburn is. I'm dead serious.

This film was tailored to be edited into aesthetic tik toks from people thirsting over Jacob Elordi, which is understandable I guess, and to make all the boring average people of the world SCANDALIZED by o b s c e n i t i e s in this weird wave of exaggerated purity we're having. Then Fennel slapped some stereotypical and dull social commentary right at the end and tried to make it look purposeful, as if it's not just a fetishization of the bourgeoisie and old money.

That's the short version. The long-ish version is that this movie had so much potential, and I'm shocked to see that it was mostly wasted till the end. I'm not kidding when I say that the only thing keeping this afloat is the cast, and they're far from the best jobs of the main actors, despite them all being great at their jobs. Jacob Elordi is the only one not completely stereotypical, Barry Keoghan has only one facial expression, and I don't really care for the rest. At least Rosamund Pike is having a blast. The queen that she is.

The plot looks promising until you basically figure the rest of the movie barely after arriving at Saltburn, and then have to plough your way through montages of rich people Being Cool and Loving Being Rich. It baffles me how we end up feeling pity for them instead of the psycho main character, even though the plot screams at you to take him seriously. Dude, you can't have it all in one film ok? Sometimes you have to choose between a tour-de-force with a weird as fuck main character that is pure entertainment OR a social commentary on the rich with a realistic approach to nuanced themes. Saltburn tries to be both and fails miserably, a little baby bird that flew (not that high, but to some distance) only to fall down in the end. At least the last song is a banger to make up for it.

The rest of saltburn isn't nearly as groundbreaking as it seems, and its use of aesthetics to paint the rich in an elegant and aristocratic light does a great job of obliterating the very same "eat the rich" commentary it tries to shove at us at the end. Instead of the very much real and terrible financial inequalities and its consequences, we get the most unoriginal "look, money doesn't make them happy!1! they're human after all!!1" plot, and oliver just looks like an unhinged dude that's really jealous of the lavish lifestyle of the rich.

So no, thanks, I'll be leaving this film for the 14 year olds on here to thirst over jacob elordi. have fun kids.

★★☆☆☆

[notsp1derman]

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a displeased review of the house in the cerulean sea, by tj klune

[may contain spoilers]

First of all, let me tell you all my experience with this book. I saw a bunch of people talking about it, recommending a sweet queer-found-family-cozy-fantasy comfort book, saying how this was one of the best reads of the year. This book was HUGE on tiktok and other platforms, and even as of today it still has 4,4 stars on goodreads.

So after a bit of stalling, when I next wanted a comforting read, I picked up the house in the cerulean sea, and I wasn't nearly as impressed. The writing was exaggerated to the point that every character felt like a charicature defined by a one or two traits: the Plain and Normal main character; the Intolerant and Bitter boss; even the CEOs were called only Extremely Upper Management lmao

So I thought "okay, so this is some sort of satyre right?" nope. It's just a normal YA fantasy book that desperately wants you to think it's cute and funny. The author wanted to write witty dialogue so much that every character has the same personality; everyone sounds like a snotty 13 year old really proud of the "sick burns" they deliver; everyone, even the children (half of whom are also so sarcastic, of course), uses every possible opportunity to embarass and shame the protagonist.

Which, by the way, I was already getting annoyed by. He was never pathetic by his appearance or way of living, as all the characters tried to express by their dialogue, but his trait of being so emphatetic for a second just to be painfully ignorant of the power of is actions the next get on my nerves SO FUCKING MUCH. Linus Baker's knack for saying "this isn't my jurisdiction, I only have a small, simple job" clashes so hard with the author constantly telling us how we should like him because "he's good with children and also responsible!!", which just makes him seem an average white man unable to see his privilege.

And all of this could be simply averted if Klune just made Linus a very innocent man, who was told a lie by DICOMY that all the kids from the orphanages he closed down were in better places, or even adopted. This would even make his development a lot more sympathetic, because he would suddenly discover everything he believed was a lie. But no. Linus does know, from the way he feels guilty or changes the subject or gives excuses for DICOMY the second someone questions it. How could I root for him when he just chooses to ignore what he doesn't want to acknowledge and with the author trying so hard to paint him as an inoccuous man?

Clearly, I wasn't really finding the house in the cerulean sea neither comforting nor well written. So, after almost a 1/3 of the book, I went into goodreads to see if there were other people disliking the book as well, or if I was just the biggest and bitterest asshole on the planet. And then I found out about the Sixties Scoop.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that a white man really got inspiration from a terrible situation that brought a lot of pain and trauma, sterilized and made it cutesy and admitted to it on an interview.

"Let me be up front about something: I’m a white dude. There really isn’t much I should be preaching about. I’m queer, and a loud one at that, but the marginalization I’ve faced because of this isn’t to be compared to others facing bigotry. It’s not a contest. It sucks across the board, but I’m a mid-thirties cis man in America. I’m privileged in ways others are not. I know this, so when I wrote Cerulean, I knew I had to do so carefully, to make sure that what I’d decided on to be the central theme of the story wouldn’t be lost."

I'll not jump to conclusions, he really does seem to have had good intentions, but despite all of that, sometimes it still isn't a good idea to follow. I'm a white person myself, but I've seen a lot of the struggles of the indigenous people of my country even near my home, so I get the indignation against a government that never does shit and the want to help as much as we can, specially because of our privilege. But telling the story of a minority group from a point of view you will never have just does more harm than good, even more so when the apparent moral of the story is "oh well, the problem isn't the organization at all, just a bunch of people in a room, so we just have to wait for some dude to get tired of it all and change things"

I'll try to be less bitter, alright? I get the existence of books that focus more on found families, queer happiness and comforting emotions than something more realistic. We all need to hope that things can be better and easier, so I'm not hating on the genre or anything. But it angered me to read how easy it was to change bigotry just with "the power of talking and morals!!1!", specially when the inspiration was a real life event that we KNOW wasn't just solved with some words and a pat on the back. I'll hand to Klune that things weren't exactly solved at the end of the book, and systemic discrimination and oppression still existed, but something about the solutions and the tone of the book just didn't seat right with me.

All in all, I think the main problem was just that things didn't fit well together. A hopeful but realistic story inspired by a real event that talked about disrupting the organization and stripping down positions of power of bigot people maybe would work, but that's too much pain and delicate themes to fit into a "clean and cute" comfort book. I also thought the moral a bit too simple and black-on-white for a YA book, but as long as it makes people more kind and understanding, I can't truly hate it.

I still don't hate the millions of people who loved this book, and I also don't hate the author. But I can't in good conscience agree that it was a good idea to do or a book well written at all. Sometimes we have to use our privilege not to tell the story of others, but to force an opening and have them tell their story themselves, from their perspective. Also, I hope he is donating at least a bit of the huge profit he made with sellings to organizations related to the cause he chose to speak about in the first place.

★ ☆̸ ☆ ☆ ☆

[notsp1derman]

other musings: i was wrong about the one piece live action, and i'm kinda glad i was

this is a follow up to my post expressing my fears about the live action that came out this year. Yeah, I know I am late to the party. Uni is hard okay???

Despite changing my opinion later, I can't blame myself for thinking it would be trash lol ,,,, after seeing various great anime being desrespected by their (especially western) live action adaptations (I AM LOOKING AT YOU, DEATH NOTE.), of course I would fear the worse for my favorite series.

But congrats to production!!! I'm glad to admit I was wrong, because it's amazing that something I adore so much get the love it deserves by its cast, crew and audience. It's so cool to see new people appreciating the anime and the manga coming from the live action; there's nothing more rewarding than sharing the same love for something with other people.

Of course, I can't say that I reeeeeeeally enjoyed the live action, but that was expected for me, personally. Nothing will ever come close to the feeling of reading the manga and appreciating Oda's artstyle, or even watching the anime and its beautifully animated fight scenes. There were some things that irked me, like wardrobe choices (as a brazilian I will always be disappointed Luffy doesn't wear some kind of havaianas lol), characterization, CGI and the pace of the story, but I found myself more willing to ignore them.

Overall, I still loved the casting and think they were amazing at their jobs, as I was expecting before. It's lovely to be able to continue sharing my love for One Piece with friends new and old to the series because of the live action :)

[notsp1derman]

Life in plastic, it’s fantastic

[notsp1derman]

The Chinese poster for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

[notsp1derman]

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a harrowed review of blindness, by josé saramago

[may contain spoilers]

"I don't think we did go blind, I think we are blind, Blind but seeing, Blind people who can see, but do not see."

What would happen if humanity was suddenly afflicted with a quickly spreading disease? What would be the public's reaction to a terrifying epidemic, and how would the authorities react? As someone who survived the covid-19 pandemic, I must say Saramago really nailed it down. The general panic, the haphazard quarantine and the incompetent government measures to the white blindness that started to affect the population of this book couldn't be more precise (or more agonizing to read) but even that pales in comparison to what this narrative really has to show.

Blindness is more than just a hypotetic situation and a dig at modern society and the stupidity of the government and military. It's an unforgiving descent into the lowest pits of human degeneration, a graphic description of the horrible deeds people will do in order to survive, and a stab at how we would behave if the rules of our world were suddenly upended. And in Saramago's vision, it wouldn't exactly be something nice.

The physical and metaphorical white blindness, that is first restrained to the abandoned mental asylum, turns men into beasts and takes the seed of evil that was always present and sprouted into twisted branches of violence and abandonment. Using survival as an excuse, people were killed, abused, raped, and ended up living even worse than animals; ruled by fear, trusting no one, reduced to their most basic instincts.

And in the middle of all this chaos, seeing everything both literally and figuratively, is the figure of the doctor's wife, a beacon of kindness and resilience to her small group of friends. The doctor's wife evoked in me a deep feeling of empathy and many strong emotions throughout her journey, and her wavering but resolute actions are the small ray of hope for the doomed society. Thrust into such horrible circumstances, and without much knowledge of the future she and her friends would have, she did anything to survive, but still managed to make the best out of the situation and keep the dignity of her little group. That's not to say she was perfect: there were times she wished she was just as blind as everyone, but these moments made her so, so very human.

She is Saramago's way of bringing some kind of hope to the blindness, to our blindness. There's so much hatred and pain in the world today, that we turn a blind eye to many things, become desensitized by it, slowly devolving into mindless beasts concerned only with our own safety and well-being. And despite the shock and horror of seeing things for what they are, we can make a difference, at least for someone.

There's no clear motive or cure for the blindness, and there are so many nuances and topics I can't even begin to cover here, but I believe it is an important book for everyone. I'll always advocate for difficult readings (taking care for them to not affect your mental health too much), because they are so necessary to develop critical thinking and to keep your mind open. Reading my comfort YA fantasy books is always very nice, but it's the hard pills to swallow, the ones who make me uncomfortable, the dense works of fiction that are branded into my mind. So read blindness. If it makes you uncomfortable, there's a reason for that. Keep challenging yourself. Keep thinking.

★★★⯨☆

[notsp1derman]

other musings: why one piece should never be adapted into live-action

There is a certain trend lately of adapting unusual pieces of media to live action, and while I usually don't give a fuck, this time it touched something very dear to me, which is One Piece. I could spend hours here talking about my love for this saga and how this is just another consequence of capitalism and the urge to just squeeze out every last drop of money out of everything, but after the trailer for the new Netflix series dropped I just had to vent about something simpler. And boy do I have opinions about this.

Despite its very real portraying of very human problems such as racism and political instability, One Piece is, at its core, an absurd manga. The characters have such ridiculous mannerisms, the proportions are so exaggerated, and there are interactions so unserious that it can be even quite jarring at first; but hidden in its straightforward and sometimes nonsensical narrative is a masterful and ingenious thought process by Eiichiro Oda. Everything is a tad over-the-top, from the cartoonish style of the characters to the attention for detail in the backgrounds, in order to compose an universe that looks magical and whimsical but feels cohesive, realistic in some way. And it's through this exaggeration that Oda manages to convey so much emotion, and still make his readers feel such strong connections to his creation, even though it's far from our real world.

Those hyperboles are a vital part of what makes One Piece one of the most unique works of fiction ever made, and one with such a strong personality, at that. So when forced to accept the heavy burden of making a live-action series of the best selling manga of all time, producers are faced with two choices: either to try and capture this absurdness as best as possible by being extremely loyal to the source, or to make adaptations to the characters and the world to make it a bit more realistic and appealing to the public.

And the thing is, there will never be a right answer to this. Being too loyal to the source would make it a ludicrous farce, and taking liberties would create something too different from the thing everyone already knows and loves. So Netflix chose the path of creative liberty, and the price paid was a stiff, void, and most importantly, uncanny take on something that should never be brought to the real world at all.

Don't get me wrong, I have much love for the cast and believe they are doing a great job, but unfortunately the feeling of just... wrongness will never fade, no matter the approach. The colorful characters feel like people in bad costumes, the special powers just feel weird, the colors feel wrong and the world doesn't feel vast, just empty. One that got me thinking a lot was Buggy. Of course, he was one of the most unserious characters of the whole manga, but even he was a bit intimidating at the beginning, and had his moments to shine. Live-action-Buggy is just some weirdo in a bright blue wig that looks like a sad cosplayer, and I can't take him seriously no matter how hard I try.

So what about the more bizarre parts of the cast, like Hannyabal or Blackbeard or just the overly huge Admirals? What about the huge sea monsters or the weird fish people of Arlong Park? The latter parts of the manga go without saying, because I seriously doubt the live action will get renewed for one more season. How can we expect any of this to be remotely close to the joy we feel reading or watching the original work?

And I think that's the whole problem with live actions from anime. The freedom to bend reality that is possible within the realms of manga and anime just will never be translated well into something so western as a modern tv show. These boring adaptations suck the soul out of the original source, and manage to transform even the most expressive and heartfelt ideas into uncreative remakes without a single ounce of personality, and it will be forever depressing to see it happening to yet another thing so well made like One PIece.

[notsp1derman]

No, I’m the real thing.

PERFECT BLUE (1997) dir. Satoshi Kon

[notsp1derman]

an uneasy review of "perfect blue", directed by satoshi kon

[may contain spoilers]

"How do you know that the person you were one second ago, is the same person that you are right now?"

To be quite honest, I don't even know how to begin this. I wish I had some profound wisdom to open a very smart and eloquent review, but I just don't think anything would do this film justice. There's just so much happening in Perfect Blue, such a kaleidoscope of insanity and moments of startingly sober despair, that I had to stare at the ground for five whole minutes after watching it, just to start processing everything.

How do we separate our personal lives from the personas we show to the world? At which point does one end and the other start? Which one is the real you? The struggle of the artist is the price to pay for visibility, and how it can lead to very real problems.

Perfect Blue is all about the paranoia being seen and the dangers of the entertainment industry, which creates countless victims by preying violently on fragile individuals, and profiting from it. I had chills watching Mima slowly become unhinged from her personal disappointments and the peer pressure of her work environment, and even more so to see the lack of interest everyone around her had for her safety and well-being. It's a brutal reminder of how we're constantly being watched, how we as artists are stripped of our identities and autonomy in exchange for mass success, and it's nothing short of amazing how this movie is still so relevant to our modern times, even though a lot has changed over these 20 years in the industry.

With its unconventional realistic style for a 90s movie, along with a brilliant cinematography, it's even harder to distance ourselves from the screen, and it's what makes its violence even more jarring. We feel the pure terror along with Mima in her rape scenes, feel dirty and unsafe through the lenses of multiple cameras, experience her loosing grip with reality with sadness and distress. And just as she becomes unhinged, we also see reality blend more and more, and loose any idea of what's truly happening. And that's completely on purpose.

No matter how much you try to argue that something or other was what truly happened to Kirigoe Mima, nobody can actually know the answer. Was it all a figment of Mima's imagination? Was it an effort from the ones around her to ruin the girl's life to further their personal beliefs? Who knows, and honestly, who cares?

Perfect Blue is a terrifying experience to be felt, a cold-blooded work of art elaborated to make you disturbed, but a welcome reminder to the cruelty of the world and the real problems we deal with beyond the screen.

★★★★★ ♥

[notsp1derman]

[notsp1derman]

a somewhat despairing review of "frankenstein", by mary shelley

[may contain spoilers]

"I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”

Cruelty can be born of love, just as empathy can spring even in the worst pits of hell. So until what point can we judge a creature without knowing its life?

For me, Frankenstein has become more than a classic horror story, more than a cautionary tale about progress without ethics. It's the picture of a wretched creature made in rejection and misery, surprisingly eloquent and gentle despite its origins, but that still didn't bear its own despair and succumbed to hatefulness. It's full of tragedy and bitterness, along with some of the most devastatingly human feelings written beautifully on the pages.

At the same time, life's tribulations don't justify cruelty, at least for me, and that applies as much to Victor as to the Creature. Both commit terrible and selfish acts and do complicated mental gymnastics to validate them, but it's impossible to pick a side; in the end, we all do things to our own benefit sometimes, harming others in turn. Victor had a somewhat noble cause, but was blinded by his ego and distracted by his own self-pity and cowardice. On the other hand, the Creature absolutely can't be blamed for its own cursed existence, but its heinous crimes didn't solve a single thing.

I don't have a single ounce of pity towards Victor; he deserves the hell he paid in the end. But I can't help but sympathize towards the Creature despite its sins. The feeling of not fitting in, of being alienated from society, hits me even though I'm not disfigured or horrifying in appearance. And it's not far-fetched to imagine many who feel this even deeply, in a world obsessed with youth and aesthetic perfection. Yet there are things that will always be unfair, and though we can and should do our best to lessen them and work towards a better future, it is overwhelming and despairing sometimes.

And that is the saddest part: we'll be forever victims of the opinions of others,and things won't just conveniently solve themselves just because they're unfair. Nobody is inherently evil, and that doesn't mean everyone is fruit only of their circumstances, so we are left to chalk it up to the many unfortunate probabilities of living. I believe the answer to the mysteries of one of the world's most famous stories is actually quite simple. Despite everything, in the end it's just human nature.

★★★★☆

[notsp1derman]

Hunter x Hunter (1999): 56. Scarlet Eyes × Duel × Cost of Life

[notsp1derman]

a straightforward review of "the metamorphosis", by franz kafka

[may contain spoilers]

"The sister played so beautifully. Her face was tilted to one side and she followed the notes with soulful and probing eyes. Gregor advanced a little, keeping his eyes low so that they might possibly meet hers. Was he a beast if music could move him so?"

Finally, I've come around to read an author I've been very curious about for some time. Despite knowing already what the story entails, just from its status as a modern classic, I had no idea what the book's message actually was. But boy does it deserve this status.

With his simplistic writing, Kafka hides many layers of opinions, criticisms and symbolism, that can quickly escape your grasp if you don't pay enough attention. There are freudian slips, digs against figures of authority, some pretty relatable metaphors about mental illness and very obvious parallels between Gregor Samsa and Franz Kafka; all which can pass through unseen if you loose yourself in the more direct and absurd aspects of the book.

What stood out the most for me, however, was the slow change in Gregor's relationship with his family after being transformed, and how it was directly connected to his position as the family's only provider. Despite the hardships and him not really liking his profession, Gregor always made sacrifices for his family, a choice that persisted even though he thought himself less than human by the end of the narrative.

He was freed from the shackles of the average western life, but at the cost of his bonds with those closest to him, who shunned who they thought was a monster because they quite literally didn't understand him. And it is with this sense of absurdity and despair that we are left after the liberating but tragic closure. Much like real life, sometimes.

★★★★☆

[notsp1derman]

an overly personal review of "demian", by herman hesse

[may contain spoilers]

"'No one can ever go home," came her friendly reply. "But when friends' paths meet, the whole world can look like home for a time.'"

It has been officially my third time reading this book fully, and it keeps getting better and better and better. My first review on goodreads, about two years ago, was a lot more superficial and objective; I was still too young, inexperienced with philosophical texts, reading blindly through something that was much more touching than I could sense at that moment.

And yet, time after time, I find myself gravitating back towards Demian, finding new quotes and meanings like shiny shells being uncovered by the tides. Much like Sinclair's cycle of death and rebirth, it seems this book is always present at my own turning points in life, much like a guide of my own. It both offers me comfort and disconcerts me, at turns a balm to my wounds or the twist of a knife.

The rather uncommon views of love, friendship, community, war, and many other topics can be quite jarring at times, with a sort of faint despair about the state of modern society. Yet Demian still is stubbornly hopeful, always leaving a last word about a better future for the world.

Just like the guiding hand of a parent, be it gently or firmly, it continues to be another one of the many influences that shape my life. Demian was also a turning point of Herman Hesse's life, a narrative so personal that makes it painfully obvious how much of his own life experiences are poured out on the pages.

And I believe that books like this are the most life changing, the most moving. Hesse ties in doubt, sin and virtue in an equilibrium I respect dearly, always with a deep respect for religion despite its many shortcomings. As someone with an unusual faith myself, I felt every one of Sinclair's wrestles with himself very deeply, and it never fails to remind me that the path to one's true self is usually lonely and tiring. But that's also why the results are so rewarding, even though I'm still a long ways from truly knowing myself.

I never respond to Demian quite the same way every day I think about it. Sometimes the words are a familiar, temporary home. In others, I wrestle myself against them and forcefully shape Hesse's ideas into my own. This time, however, it was a much needed nudge in the right direction. An ounce of strenght as I still struggle to break out of the egg; as i fight my way into a new world.

★★★★★ ♥