numbersgamesandchaos

[numbersgamesandchaos]

This is person stole my life story. How dare they.

I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Why Did God Create Atheists?

There is a famous story told in Chassidic literature that addresses this very question. The Master teaches the student that God created everything in the world to be appreciated, since everything is here to teach us a lesson. 

One clever student asks “What lesson can we learn from atheists? Why did God create them?”

The Master responds “God created atheists to teach us the most important lesson of them all — the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheist performs and act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone in need, and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that god commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he does not believe in God at all, so his acts are based on an inner sense of morality. And look at the kindness he can bestow upon others simply because he feels it to be right.”

“This means,” the Master continued “that when someone reaches out to you for help, you should never say ‘I pray that God will help you.’ Instead for the moment, you should become an atheist, imagine that there is no God who can help, and say ‘I will help you.’”

ETA source: Tales of Hasidim Vol. 2 by Mar

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Look, DMs, if you have to ban anything then you're a bad DM. The game isn't about you and your grand story, it's about the whole table telling a story. Gary Gygax made this game when playing a table top miniature war game and thought "what would the story of this single piece be? Where did he come from? What does he do?" He didn't make it a game about one person telling a story and a bunch of other people getting in the way. So just listen to your players, discuss expectations as a group, and if things go off track then that's the story the players want to tell. Players avoid encounters, they out think your plans, and they have their own ideas of how the story should be told. WORK TOGETHER. *end rant*

Hey DnD Community

How many of you have been banned from playing a bard in campaigns? I need to know for science.

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Accents 101

So if you’re a dm like me, you probably want to be relatively skilled in some typical fantasy accents for your game to make things feel that much more real. So i’ve decided to throw together a little master post of “how to” videos on some various accents. This is mostly for my own reference, but if you’d like to save this for yourself too, go right ahead. Feel free to add on to this, as well!

General Accent Tips

How To Learn Any Accent (1)

How To Learn Any Accent (2)

How To Do 12 Different Accents

US/UK/Aussie English Vocabulary Differences

One Woman, 17 British Accents

How To Lose Your Native Accent

How To Learn A Different Accent

Fun Tour of American Accents

Scottish

Scottish In Under 2 Minutes

How to Speak With A Scottish Accent

HOW TO DO A SCOTTISH ACCENT

Speaking Scottish 101

Scottish Slang

Gerard Butler Teaches You Scottish Slang

Scottish Insults

English or “British”

How To Do A British Accent

3 Ways to Sound More British

HOW TO DO A BRITISH ACCENT CONVINCINGLY (1)

HOW TO DO A BRITISH ACCENT CONVINCINGLY (2)

HOW TO DO A BRITISH ACCENT CONVINCINGLY (3)

Henry Cavill and Simon Pegg Teach You English Slang 

French

How To Speak With A French Accent 

How To Do A French Accent In UNDER TWO MINUTES

Tips on how to do a French Accent

French Accent Tip

Irish

How to do an Irish Accent

How To Do An Irish Accent

How To Do An Irish Accent

Guide to Irish Accents

How To Do An Irish Accent In UNDER TWO MINUTES

Russian

How To Speak With A Russian Accent 

How to Do a Russian Accent | Accent Training

How to speak with a Russian Accent

How Russians Speak English

How To Do A Russian Accent 

German

How To Have A German Accent 

How to do a GERMAN ACCENT?

Get the Perfect German ACCENT

Me speaking in 12 GERMAN DIALECTS!

How To Do A German Accent

5 Steps to a perfect German Accent

Canadian

How To Do A Canadian Accent

All aboot Canadian accents

How To Speak Canadian, Without Knowing How!!

Is There A Canadian Accent?

The Canadian English Accent

[numbersgamesandchaos]

“You have the burden of proof backwards when you insist that other people need to prove you wrong. You made the claim, therefore you are responsible for providing evidence to support the claim. No one is obligated to discredit the claim or take it seriously until you have provided evidence.”

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Apply liberally to all marvels of engineering.

“Wait, that’s it?” “Yes, sir, that concludes the safety briefing. If you’ll just take your seat-” “Oh, for- EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE!” “Sir! Please sit-” “Apparently I have to do this, since the airline won’t. Now-” “Stop bothering the other pass-” “It is VERY important that we all spend the flight focusing on how much we REALLY believe this plane can fly, understand?” “SIR! What are-” “Especially those of you over the wings, okay, it is imperative that you believe, because the plane needs-” “Security! We have an unruly passenger!” “I’M JUST MAKING SURE THEY KNOW!”

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Math Magic!

Alright folks, I’m going to teach you how to do a pretty cool party trick using only the power of your minds: Squaring large numbers!

No? doesn’t sound impressive? Well, ok then, don’t learn the cool thing. Move along, dummy.

...

Still here? Ok cool! So, pretty much everyone learned their times tables, so your 1 digit squares are already learned.  But can you do 2 digits? 3 digits? 4 DIGITS!? You will when I’m done with you!  So lets go!

2 DIGIT SQUARES!  

Ok, take your number, lets say 23, and think about it like what squaring a number means; 23^2 is just 23*23. Now, round one number to the nearest 10, as in 23 rounds down by 3 to 20. Then, move the other number the opposite way by the same amount, as in 23 up by 3 to 26.  Now you have 26*20, which is SO MUCH EASIER. 26*2 is 52, *10 is 520.  Now you just have to bring that number you shifted by earlier back in, square it, and add it to the end. We shifted by 3, 3^2 is 9, so our total is 529.

recap: 23^2, 23*23, 20*26 (shift 3), 520, 3^2=9, 529.

or maybe try 86.  You have to round that up by 4 to get to 90, so the other 86 goes down by 4 to 82.  90*82 is 7380, then toss a 16 (ya know, 4^2), and you have 7396.

But what if it ends in a 5?  Save your ass some time and brain juice and do this quick trick: take the tens place and multiply it by the next bigger number and throw a 25 at the end. 55? 5*6=30, 3025. Done. 75? 7*8=56, 5625.

And of course 2 digits ending in 0 are just the one digit square with 00 at the end, but, I mean, if you can do this in your head you knew that.

Anyways, you need to master this 2 digit process to do the rest of the harder ones, because you use this to simplify them.  Work smarter, not harder, right?

3 DIGIT SQUARES!

So it’s tempting to want to square three digit numbers as (abc*abc) but then the longhand gets really jumbled. Don’t bother, cut that shit down to (ab*ab) and make the first two digits into one! Instead of doing, say, 523^2 as (500+20+3)^2, you could just do (500+23)^2 because we already know what 23^2 is! Here’s the process we’re going to use:

our number won’t be longer than 8 digits, so picture this: 0000 0000.  See the gap? Square your first two digits and put it to the right of the gap, square the third digit and put it to the left.  So 523 will look like 0025 0529.  Remember those two numbers.  How? Hold on, we need to learn something else!

MNEMONIC MAJOR SYSTEM!

make those numbers WORDS! Words are easier to store in your brain.  Numbers use short term memory and you have a limit of about 7 objects and your short term memory is always purging. Convert the numbers to words and you an use your parietal lobe and lock that shit away in long term memory.

0 = s and z sounds, like Zero 1 = t and d sounds. 1 and t/d have straight spines 2 = n, because one bump 3 = m, because 2 bumps 4 = r, like fouR 5 = l, kinda hard but thing roman number 50 is L. 6 = sh, ch, soft g, j, all those sounds you push through clenched teeth. 7 = k and hard g. 7 and K are both sharp and angular. 8 = f and v.  8 looks like a cursive f. 9 = p and b. P and b both have a line and a bump like a 9.

You can use these to make words to store away your numbers.  Our 523 process above has 25 0529.  That’s “anal sail nub”.  Now you can memorize that hilarious phrase, possibly with a little image with it, and move on to the next step.

3 DIGIT SQUARE, PART DEUX.

We have “anal sail nub” stored away, so now we multiply the two numbers together and double them. 5*23=115, *2=230.  Drop 230 right in the middle of our number (00here00), 00023000.  Then we bring the rest back.  Nub, N,B, 29, 00023029. Sail, S,L, 05, 00023529. Anal, N,L, 25,00273529. 273,529!

You keeping up? Brain hurt? Well hold on, because we’re not done yet! Do you have the brain power to add one more digit!?

FOUR DIGIT SQUARES!

Do the same thing as the 3 digit, but 2 sets of 2 digit squares.  (1000a+100b+10c+d)^2  becomes (100a+b)^2.  Lets use 9523 as the example.  Start with 95 and 23.  95^2 is 9025 and 23^2 is 529. Make number blocks 9025 0529. Menmonic major statements “Pez Anal” and “Sail Nub” committed to memory. Move on to 95*23, but make like easy and do 100*23 and then just take 5*23 away, 2300-115=2185. Double it, 4370. Stick it in the middle, 00437000. Recall “Sail Nub”, S,L,N,B, 0529, 00437529.  Recall “Pez Anal”, P,Z,N,L, 9025, 90687529. 90,687,529!

Alright, no go impress people at parties, because I know you guys go to the good parties where this is totally something that impresses people.... right?

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Uh... Yeah... Ok. You can date a martial arts instructor. I'm cool with that. Side note, he couldn't take me. He might be fast, but I'm scrappy and I don't fight fair.

I had an incredibly bizarre dream

Short (not actually short but still breif when compared to the actual dream) version: i took a really weird self defense class, the instructor and I flirted pretty innocently, all aborted innuendo and shy glances while we were sparring (somehow??)

I got him in a weird hold after he pinned me that somehow meant I won, but realistically just made me look like an upside-down frog. Suddenly I’m not wearing a shirt? He’s very polite and doesn’t look; the girl who has been in the tiny fighting room the whole time hands me a shirt with the gym’s logo on it.

When we leave, we’re in a weird store? K is looking at MTG cards and Instructor Guy, who only now introduces himself as Chris, goes to look at them and attempt to meet K. K quietly confirms that he’d be into Chris (a small miracle because K is incredibly picky IRL and we don’t always agree on the attractiveness of potential partners)

They end up talking about fighting styles and K tells Chris that “I could take you, I’m faster” but in a really non- competitive way. K uses randomly found objects to illustrate various weapon techniques, and out of nowhere my friend Alex is there wielding like, tubes to demonstrate a thing and her and Chris spar in the aisles.

Then Chris is walking me to his car to give me a ride home, we walk to his house that is right across the street from my mom’s and one building over from @cobrilee

Someone is giving out samples of lube and there are dozens of people walking around. We get to Chris’s place and sit down, and he reveals that he’s actually @clotpolesonly somehow (idek, it made literally zero sense)? Then we play poker with suddenly materialized friends and they apparently know all about me because Chris has been talking about me. (Dream time jump? Idk) I explain polyamory to the group and emphasize the possibilities with zero subtlety.

I give him a kiss on the cheek and feel super weird about it because @numbersgamesandchaos isn’t there with us, but K randomly sends me a thumbs up emoji like he knew what was going on.

So basically I have no idea what is wrong with my subconscious, but it really wants K and I to have a boyfriend.

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Poly and oblivious

I am just terrible at interpersonal relationships sometimes. I am oblivious when someone is flirting with me and I sometimes come across as flirty when I'm just trying to be nice. Makes being poly difficult, where establishing a relationship is more complicated. This isn't about any specific recent encounter, just midnight thoughts.

[numbersgamesandchaos]

The animators seemed to try and make Daphne the attractive one, but I always had a cartoon crush on Velma. I totally ship a big poly family, though. Just leave Scooby out of this, there's too many bizarre implications with a sentient dog involved.

okay so theres an episode of whats new scooby doo where the gang goes home on valentines day, and i guess the studio really wanted to avoid the implication that daphne and fred were sleeping together because daphne and velma live together and fred lives with shaggy and scooby 

but that attempt at avoiding anything risque backfired spectacularly because now it just seems like daphne and velma are a comfortably domestic couple and fred is trying to learn how to live with his boyfriends over excitable and really hungry great dane

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Tapioca flour has a really strong gelling property and neutral flavor, so combined with sweet potato flour and some other stuff you can make these little pearls. They're solid and gummy and get sucked up the straw when you drink your bubble tea.

Just add this to your eventual American vacation to do list. Pretty much whenever I eat something that's normal to me but potentially strange to the rest of the world, I file it away in my head as something you have to try.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tapioca_balls

one time my friends and i got bubble tea and my one friend didn’t know abt the tapioca pearls and he took a sip and then opened his mouth and let like 9 of them roll out of his mouth and onto the floor and then whispered “what the fuck”

[numbersgamesandchaos]

I'm kind of an idealist sometimes and my idea of a perfect world mostly consists of people giving far less fucks about what other people decide to do. The other day I was thinking about gender expression and I came to a realization about how I view it: To me gender expression registers on my give-a-fuck-o-meter as much as someone's choice to dress punk. As far as I'm concerned, your biological sex is between you and your doctor, and the outward expression of gender is no different than any other cultural/social display. You are indicating through outward appearance what you feel inside, using commonly accepted social constructs about clothing and whatever to help index you into a particular group you feel you belong. Long story short: if you have male sex organs and wear a dress to indicate you're a woman, that's no different to me than if you wore plaid pants and spikes to indicate you're punk. It's your expression of self. Be you. -K

[numbersgamesandchaos]

This is beautiful

i enjoyed this very much, thank you andrew huang.

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Oh my god my life is forever changed this is the greatest thing ever.

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Power Level in EDH

It is no secret that EDH is a very diverse format - probably the most diverse format out there. A deck builder can build almost any kind of deck imaginable - from the typical control, combo, aggro, and midrange decks; to decks like Stax, chaos, pillowfort, and anything in between. However, not all EDH decks are created equal - the possible disparity in power level between any two EDH decks is potentially as large as the difference between a bad draft deck and a tuned Vintage deck - and any sort of deck in between.

Most people tend to classify EDH decks as either “Casual” or “Competitve”, but the divide between the two is both subjective and blurry. However, a good way to classify EDH decks is needed in order to better communicate what kinds of decks you are playing to the rest of your pod or playgroup so everyone can have an enjoyable experience. It would also be good to have a metric for discussing certain cards or deck-archetypes. As such, I have decided to try creating my own classification system for EDH decks:

Type 1: Jank, Draft Chaff, and Gimmicks

Everyone was new to EDH at one time. Whether from inexperience or lack of funds, many players of EDH have decks that are barely functional - containing little more than draft chaff and starter-pack rares. Their curves are nonexistent, their decks are incoherent, and their cards are unsleeved. Some may  be monstrosities containing 65 random green creatures and 35 forests, or “troll decks” containing 5-drop removal spells and Divinations with literally zero win-con. Other decks of this type tend to be gimmicks or “theme decks”, created by a more enfranchised player as a form of self-expression. Decks like “Ladies Looking Left” or “Chair Tribal” or “Mono-Red Samurai” - full of a whole lot of flavor, but almost nothing else. Decks of this type are often composed entirely of cards most players would never give a second look at, and typically cannot stand up to anything much stronger than a precon, if that.

Type 2: Casual

As opposed to Type 1 decks, Type 2 decks tend to have some amount of selectivity in the cards they play. You probably aren’t going to see random French-Vanillas in a deck like this, and they typically tend to have some sort of strategy and coherence. This is actually where I would rate the precon decks that Wizards makes every year. I would also consider decks built with some sort of arbitrary restriction - EG “no rares” or “no cards over $2”, as well as builds of “grouphug” and “chaos” that just do not have a way to win to be in this category. These types of decks are typically not exactly “good”, still containing many suboptimal choices and often with abysmal mana-curves, but the decks still tend to have some bite to them. If there are any combos in these decks, they are horribly janky and inconsistent ones, requiring so many pieces to function that it feels fair.

Type 3: “75%”

The name of this type is based off the “75%” deckbuilding philosophy, that states that the way to build an EDH deck that can handle the most competitive of players while not being unfun for the most casual is to make one at 75% power. While such a deck is actually impossible to build (anything that wants to even attempt to have a chance at so much as participating in a game with the most competitive of decks has to run the sorts of cards that more casual players shun entirely), decks of this type can pretty happily sit at a table with anything from a “type-2” deck to a “type-4” deck. While not all 75% decks out there are of this type, and not all decks of this type are 75% decks, the types of decks that philosophy builds are exemplars of this power-level. These are probably the most common types of EDH decks out there, and if you are going into a new group or store blindly, your best bet is probably with one of these.

Type 4: Pubstomp

Y’know that guy who claims he is so amazing at EDH and that his deck is unbeatable? That guy that plays Kaalia or Jhoira or Rafiq, that you just can’t beat? Well, this is probably the kind of deck he plays. Type 4 is where the gloves come off and anything goes - MLD, combos, Stax, Infect, Extra Turns, and everything else under the sun. These decks are mean, and tend to crush more casual decks out there. If you asked the average player what the best decks in EDH are, they would probably list off decks of this type. And they would be dead wrong.

Type 5: CEDH

These are actually the best decks in the format. These decks are truly degenerate, capable of consistently winning on turns 3-5 through disruption. These decks are not fair in any sense of the word, full of a who’s who of broken cards and mechanics, and anything that can’t kill everyone at once is too slow.. Storm, Doomsday, Stax, Ooze Combo…decks more broken and tuned than most think is possible in this format. There is a good reason that decks like these are often referred to as “singleton Vintage” decks. But we promise we aren’t bad once you get to know us…

[numbersgamesandchaos]

Happy birthday dude!! Hope it's an amazing one and that it bless you with an amazing year!

Thanks! On a personal level the year has been good. Otherwise, you know... Could be better...

[numbersgamesandchaos]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎉🎂🎁🎊

Thank you!