obeymeswd-incorrect-quotes

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MC: I only have 6 weeks left to live.

Simeon: Oh my god?!

MC: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made.

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Solomon: MC- *takes a knee*

MC: Oh my God

Solomon: -will you marry me? *pulls out ring box*

MC: What?

MC: Didn't I poison you?? Gak! *falls to their knees instead*

Solomon: I switched our cups. *opens the box to show a small vial of powder*

Solomon: Say yes for the antidote!

MC: God I hate you so much-

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MC: Welcome to the House of Lamentation, Raphael. Watch your step there, pal. That's where I died. Raphael:

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MC: there's something deeply wrong with you

Asmodeus:

MC: we should kiss about it

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Solomon: let's play a game! we'll each say a word starting with our letter, I'll start with A

Solomon: apple! now you say something that starts with B

MC: marry me

Solomon:

MC:

Solomon: that doesn't start with B?

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MC: I made you a nice, hot cup of coffee

Lucifer: it's cold

MC: nice cup of coffee

Lucifer: it's terrible

MC: cup of coffee

Lucifer: is it even coffee?

MC: cup

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Really random, but I just wanted to let you know that I love your content so much and also the Belphie hate posts are hilarious 😂

Remember to drink water and eat something <3

honestly I've been avoiding answering this just because I want to hoard it in my inbox because it brings me so much joy

thank you so much!!!

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written quite a few things over the past couple days, but I'd say this is my favorite

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Leviathan: I feel like my therapist is flirting with me. MC: And how does that make you feel? Leviathan: Pretty good, actually. MC: Yay!

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MC: Til death do us part, right guys?

The brothers: It's cute you think death can separate us.

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MC: Do you think the wind is ever tryna tell us something and we don’t know how to hear it anymore

Lucifer: I just want you to stop saying odd shit

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Satan: they showed clear signs of being killed by belladonna

Asmodeus and MC, in sync: the porn star?

Satan:

Satan: the poison

Asmodeus and MC: oh

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MC: Careful now. If you keep being sweet, I'll start thinking you're in love with me.

Solomon: What could I have possibly done to make you think I'm not??

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Lucifer: mc, you can’t just say “spit in my mouth” when one of us does something you deem attractive

mc: but why not??

Mammon: yeah it’s just saliva, what’s the problem??

Satan: did you know that saliva is almost entirely water? only 0.5 percent of it is anything else, but that tiny portion is full of useful enzymes-proteins that speed up chemical reactions-

Lucifer: stop-

Satan: among these are amylase and ptyalin, which begin to break down sugars in carbohydrates while they are still in our mouths. if we chew a starchy food like bread or potato for a bit longer than normal, we will soon notice a sweetness. unfortunately, bacteria in our mouths like that sweetness, too-

Lucifer: STOP-

Satan: they devour the liberated sugars and excrete acids, which drill through human teeth and give them cavities. other enzymes, notably lysozyme-which was discovered by human scientist alexander fleming before he stumbled onto penicillin-attack many invading pathogens, but not the ones that cause tooth decay, alas.

Satan: …

Lucifer: …

mc: …

mc: spit in my mouth

Lucifer: MC

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Simeon: Solomon, I think we have a problem.

Solomon: What, the fire?

Simeon: No, the- wait, what fire?

Solomon: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

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Asmodeus: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

MC: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

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Beelzebub: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Satan: Why are you eating dirt?

Beelzebub: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.