officerhaughtstuff - Tumblr blog

officerhaughtstuff · 6 months ago

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I wouldn't say that everything we shared is a lie, just the untrue bits

#not wynonna earp #writing snippets #jokes #maybe?

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officerhaughtstuff · 6 months ago

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I'm sorry that I've given you the impression that I'm the type of person who will seduce a woman away from her husband with gifts of string and pocket lint.

#not wynonna earp #writing snippets #jokes #maybe?#this was one of those conversations you have in your head #except its in response to a thing that was never even said to you #and would never be said to you #anyway i gifted my coworker some shiny string

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officerhaughtstuff · 6 months ago

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"The strong consume and the weak are consumed. Only one thing can stop someone stronger from you from swallowing you whole: respect. I've learned that being useful is the only thing that can earn you that kind of respect. So be strong, child, but also be useful. Be invaluable, irreplaceable. And, if it comes down to it, kill them before they kill you."

#not wynonna earp #writing snippets #once again #NOT MY OPINION #this is a continuation of saturdays monologue #or maybe a different take #this is one where i wrote and rewrote it and came up with two versions #that could maybe go in the same speech #but are also a little hard to mesh together in a way im happy with #anyway #the point is this is the opinion of an asshole character #who is explicitly shown to be an asshole with shit opinions #not my personal thoughts

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officerhaughtstuff · 6 months ago

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Astronomy: lets us gaze at the stars

Astrology: lets us gays at the stars

#not wynonna earp #jokes #astronomy #astrology #idk if astrology is even a gay thing #its not a thing for this gay #but i dont let little things like 'facts' get in the way of my terrible jokes

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officerhaughtstuff · 6 months ago

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"In this world, there are two kinds of people: the strong and the weak. The strong build the world, and the weak live in it. We have the strength to change the future, they do not. Instead, rely on us- need us. They look to our strength for protection, direction- and we eat them. The strong consume the weak. It's all they're good for, and they know it."

#not wynonna earp #writing snippets #i feel compelled to add #that this is so not my opinion #i was working on some antagonist speeches #this is a characters abisive father trying to pass on some twisted life lessons #NOT MY OPINIONS #sorry

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officerhaughtstuff · 6 months ago

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The likelihood that a fortune teller will be wrong with their prediction is their prophet margin

#not wynonna earp #jokes #dad jokes #i thought of this one at 2am #just woke up in bed out of nowhere and thought “prophet margin”#wrote it down and went back to sleep #then had to think of a way to make the phrase into a joke #anyway...

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officerhaughtstuff · 6 months ago

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The point is not what I reasonably expect people to pay attention to; the point is my unreasonable anxiety about what people might pay attention to.

#not wynonna earp #writing snippets #it continues

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officerhaughtstuff · 7 months ago

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Vitamin? Ha, more like Vita-mid!

Gottem. Again.

#not wynonna earp #jokes #i promise this isnt gonna be a running theme...#but it might #i have to let the stupid out somewhere #jokes too dumb to tell my students #not if i want them to still trust me with their education

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officerhaughtstuff · 7 months ago

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"She would do this safety check every morning; you know the sort. 'Stay away from strangers. Don't do drugs' She never asked those things though. Instead, she always warned me to be mindful, to not get too close, to keep control. Because she wasn't making sure that I was safe, she was making sure that I was safe to be around."

#not wynonna earp #writing snippets #not a personal experience #just a character monologue #getting into the headspace and learning who the character is #how they talk #anyway #this girl got some trauma and deeply harmful internalized behaviors to work through #unfortunately the world may end first #or shes at least gonna get some extra trauma before she gets the chance to seek therapy

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officerhaughtstuff · 7 months ago

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Cyborg? Ha, more like Cry-borg!

Gottem.

#not wynonna earp #jokes #cyborgs #the joke literally does not work unless you include the gottem #is the joke bad? yes.#am i still very amused by the joke? yes.

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officerhaughtstuff · 7 months ago

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He never was a creature who could bear the weight of being loved

#not wynonna earp #writing snippets #just felt compelled to post some of the bits and bobs ive got in my notes app #ignore me