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oh-ohagi · 2 years

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AAAAAAHAHHJDKSHSGFSAHFJHSGFHJGSAJA THANK U WIFEEEY!!! YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH

As if I'd let you.

Synopsis: You asked him some hypotheticals, and now he wants you out of the corps.

Tags: Sanemi x reader, established-ish relationship, angst to fluff to angst to fluff

Content warning: Spoilers for Swordsmith Village Arc up to the Final Battle Arc, low key hot spring make out sesh, explicit language, mentions of death and blood, new style of breathing

Notes: Yay! My first fic is finally here! The idea first came to mind while I’m reading You Wouldn’t Last a Second, during the very hot hot spring scene. Sanemi is so hot that I want to see him in pain, but after writing this I immediately regret it because I just hurt myself. I also took some inspiration from the fic Turn of Events. Both fics are reaaaally good because they’re written by the amazing @xxsabitoxx. Go check them out, unless you’re a minor.

Word count: ~7k whew!

"Leave the corps."

"Hm–" your eyes widened and your chest felt tight as his words sinked into you, "w-what?"

"You should leave the slayer corps."

“Where… i-is this coming from?” you’re confused as to why he’s acting like this all of a sudden and demanding you to do such a thing. “L/N,” he dropped his hands and finally looked at you since you arrived, “I said get the fuck out of the demon slayer corps!”

Is that how weak you are? Are you really that weak?

“Uhm, L/N-san…”

Corps members lay there lying in their own blood because you couldn’t do your job well. It took you so long to behead the demon who wasn’t even one of the Twelve Kizuki to begin with.

“L/N-san,” you snapped out of your blaming thoughts, turning over to the kakushi who called your name, “are you alright?” The kakushi’s eyes looked very concerned as if you’re bleeding to death. “Yeah I’m good. I think the other corps members need you more.” You really can't help but blame yourself for their injuries. “But L/N-san, your forehead….” You wouldn’t believe it if not for the feeling of blood dripping from your chin which trails from the right side of your forehead. “Oh… you’re right. I’m actually bleeding.” Looking at your bloody hand that touched your bleeding forehead.

You were called there to provide backup and finish the task. It was suspected that a demon from the Twelve Kizuki is lounging on that edge of a small town, as to why groups of corps members failed to return and complete the mission. But it wasn’t. It was just a regular demon who was skilled at disguising itself and manipulating the minds of people.

Aside from the bleeding forehead, you were left with a broken katana after the fight. Debating in your head whether the demon was just really strong or that you were not just at your usual and best self.

“Thank you.” You smiled at the kakushi who tended to your wound. By this time, the sun has already risen, generously bathing you with sunlight. Almost everyone already left, on the way to the butterfly mansion for further treatment.

“Aren’t you going back with us, L/N-san?”

You can’t go home yet. You cannot see him without your answer. You simply can’t face him. “No,” came out your lips softly, “I need to drop by somewhere.” adding to look more convincing. Besides, you really do need to buy something before going back. “Go ahead before me. Take care.” The kakushi bowed at you before disappearing into the woods.

You took the path opposite of them. On the way to the town two mountains away where you heard that the best sweets are sold. Dried leaves and branches meet the underside of your zōri, with the broken katana still in your hand waiting to be sheathed. You take a final look at it, Akki Messatsu, before finally putting it back on the sheath on your waist. “I suppose it’s time for a weapon change. Need to ask Tecchin-san to forge me that weapon I’m thinking of.” Ever since you changed your breathing style from Stone Breathing to Magma Breathing, you felt like the standard nichirin katana does not suit your fighting style well. And right now, having a katana with a blade a few inches in length, it is best not to encounter any demons.

After hours of walking, you let out a sigh of relief as you stumbled upon a hot spring. You do need some rest after all that fighting and walking. “I guess a hot spring stopover wouldn’t hurt.” You planned to go back before nightfall, there’ll still be plenty of time to buy those sweets for the Butterfly Mansion girls. Every time you visit the mansion for check-ups and treatments, you always bring some sweets or souvenirs for the girls. You love seeing them wear smiles on their faces.

As you slip down the hot spring, you remember why you were stalling for almost a whole day. Thinking of excuses to avoid going home early. It was because of the argument you had with Sanemi before you departed for the recent mission. You have to give him your answer when you see him. He wasn’t actually asking you something but demanding you to do something. You can’t answer him because what he wants is the last thing that you would want to do.

You dunk lower with your head under the water, feeling its warmth reminds you of Sanemi. You miss him and his touch so much. You haven’t seen each other for weeks but when you did, he wouldn’t even look at you.

Hot spring. You thrust yourself up from the water and shoot your eyes open as the last time you and Sanemi bathed together flashed before you. The time before he acted colder and colder towards you.

You groaned as the warm water embraced your sore muscles. Eyes closed while flexing your shoulders, you rotated your neck to relax those muscles and nerves in there, which brought you some pain for a while now.

“I knew you’d be here.” Your eyes snapped open to the sound of that familiar voice. Facing towards the source of the sound. “I heard you’re back.” Your lips curled up at the sight of Sanemi wearing a tiny towel around his waist which he dropped at the moment you faced him and proceeded to dip beside you in the hot spring. Your eyes followed him with your lips now wearing a grin, as if cupid struck you an arrow.

“How’s your training? I went to see you when I got back but you’re busy, so I went here instead.”

Sanemi let out a grunt, looking unimpressed,”you should’ve let me know when you got back. I didn’t finish my training and went looking for you.”

You tried your hardest to keep a straight face, feeling the butterflies flutter in your stomach with every word he utters. “Looking for me?”

With his face looking like he had no intention in answering your mocking question, he studied you and asked, “how’s your mission? Got any injuries?”

“Hmm, nothing from that mission. That demon was a quick kill. Anyway, have you ever fought a demon from the Twelve Kizuki?”

He frowned at the quick change of subject. ”I killed several lower ranked but haven’t faced any upper ranked. Why’d you ask?”

“Well… I’m just wondering what they are like. Like, how strong they are and whatnot, ‘cause you know, I haven't met one. Strangely, everytime I’m about to fight one, fate just won't let me.”

You jolted and instinctively flew your hands to the nape of your neck as you felt a streak of pain in the area.

“What’s with your neck?” You can’t see Sanemi but with his tone, he is definitely concerned.

You rotate your neck muscles to ease the pain, “uhm… not sure but whenever my neck experiences some sudden movements, there’s like a muscle or nerve that feels like it’s going to snap.” There was a beat of silence, “so whenever I’m going to give you a head, you can’t just abruptly grab my neck.” You meant that as a half-joke but it came out of you in a completely serious tone.

You opened your eyes to Sanemi looking very perplexed, mouth gaped as he let out a few huffs. You worried that your joke was that cruel before he let out the loudest guffaw you have ever heard from him. Loud enough to startle the birds sitting on the nearby trees and fly away. Now you worry about disturbing the neighboring estates and the passersby while his laugh continued for a good two minutes, loudly echoing around the area. Seeing him buying your silly remarks makes your chest tingle. You thought you should make him laugh more often since laughing suits him well. His features look beautiful, glistening under the daylight, just everything about him is so perfect. You did not do it intentionally, but a smile naturally appeared on your face just from the sight of him, on the fact that he’s right next to you, and that he’s yours.

His laugh slightly calmed down and he faced you, reaching for you.

“How’s that?”

“You’re funny, c’mere,” his hand is now cupping your jaw, his face close to yours, “may I?” his lips still have traces of laughter, “of course you may, silly.” You leaned forward to kiss him but he pulled away quickly, just giving you a peck. Your eyes shut open, shocked at how quick that was. You were about to protest but his lips are back at yours. The moment you closed your eyes again, he pulled away. “What a tease!” you howl in annoyance. He enjoyed your reaction, smashing his lips back at yours, laughing against your lips. You placed your arms around his neck to lock him in place, positioning yourself to sit on his lap. Both of his hands fell on your hips to guide you in whatever you’re trying to do.

The kiss was surprisingly soft and gentle. It was... slow and sweet. As if all the time in the world was yours and you have nothing to worry about. Unlike the usual where everything seems to be rough and in a rush, like you’re so badly desperate for each other.

Being in his arms feels like returning to a warm bed after a long, tiresome day. His calloused hands that were on your hips, snaked to your lower back. Muscular arms hugging you perfectly, as how a blanket perfectly does. One thing you could think of was how safe and comfortable you feel around him. Oh, to be in those arms, you wouldn't trade it with anything in the world. You felt like you would want to wake up everyday just to feel all that all over again.

When was the last time you had something to look forward to? Since when did you feel like you’re afraid to risk your life just to be in his arms even for just a little longer. As if you did not join the corps in the hopes of giving yourself an honorable death as soon as possible. Oh right, you're still in the demon slayer corps. Your bliss washed away. You became so lost just in the feel of Sanemi's touch. Sanemi. Yes, you're in the arms of Shinazugawa Sanemi, which is too good to be true. If it wasn't for that joint mission that the Master gave you two, you wouldn't be in each other's arms like this. You used to loathe each other's presence until that very mission.

You began to doubt your ecstatic thoughts and caused the kiss to be sloppy and out of sync. You pulled away from his lips but still close enough for your foreheads to be touching each other, Sanemi's lips came chasing after yours as he slowly opened his eyes, looking a little vexed. "What?", "hey, uhm..." you rest your hands on his chest, tracing a scar with your thumb, "let's say, uhm... what if,” you took a deep breath, “I'm gone, what would you do?" the moment you said that hypothetical, you realized just how dumb that question was. "What do you mean 'gone'?'' Looking baffled, he pulled his head away to take a good look at your face. "I mean like, you know... ugh nevermi–" but before you could even finish your sentence, both of his hands cupped your cheeks, "as if I'd let you." He kissed your forehead, down to both of your cheeks before turning back to your lips, with the same slow and sweet pace. Your face feels hot and can't help but smile against his lips.

"Are you ready?" Sanemi looks you in the eyes with a smirk. "uh, are we really doing it here? I mean, we’ll get dizzy if we stay for long." What he wanted to do excites you to the bones, but you know him, he takes damn his time, and staying in a hot spring for a long time really makes you dizzy. "I don't mind." His smirk became a grin as he moved closer to give you a quick little kiss because he misses your lips after too much talking.

The weeks after that time you and Sanemi had in his hot spring are very hectic and busy weeks. Handful of long and short missions, both of your schedules just didn’t allow you two to meet for more than an hour. You leave some letters at his estate to read when he gets home, while he leaves some treats at yours in response to your letters. But recently, he doesn’t drop something as often as he used to. What you didn’t know is during those times you had separated from each other, Sanemi pondered on something concerning you.

While you’re on your way to Sanemi’s estate for a visit, your crow quacked you with new orders, to provide immediate backup located on a small town on the edge of the first mountain up north-northeast. It was said that a demon of the Twelve Kizuki is feasting on the villagers there, as well as the deployed corps members. As the crow flew away, you thought you might as well drop by at Sanemi’s since you’re already on the way.

As you entered his estate, you figured out that he’s in his kitchen. You slide the door open to peek and you have confirmed that you’re right. He’s making ohagi while having a cup of green tea on the side.

“Knock, knock” you cheerfully knocked on the air as you popped your head on the doorway to greet him a hello. It took him some seconds to acknowledge you with a grunt, giving his whole focus on the rice and red bean paste on his hands. You took a few steps in, leaning your head forward to have a peep on what he’s doing. “Oh, I see you’re making ohagi, hopefully I can have some.” you giggled a little.

He scooped some bean paste with his hand, flatting it out before placing some rice inside and squishing into a ball. You observed his hands attentively, forgetting anything else, just looking at how ohagi is made. He has made two ohagi while you stayed like that before you remember you had a mission.

“Oh, right,” you snapped your fingers, “I won’t be staying for long. I just received new orders.” He still didn’t provide any response or any acknowledgement of your presence, and that’s when you began to hear your own heartbeat. It was quiet and everything suddenly felt colder. “Uhm,” you gulped, feeling uneasy “is… everything alright, Sanemi?” Still, no response. As if you weren’t there talking and asking him a question. You took a few slow steps towards him,

"Leave the corps."

"Hm–" you stopped in your tracks, eyes widened and your chest felt tight as his words sinked into you, "w-what?"

"You should leave the slayer corps."

Your mouth fell open, gasping for air as you felt like your breathing stopped. What is happening? Why is he like this? First, he called you by your last name, stared at you dead-eyed, and he nearly raised his voice at you.

He was aware that he almost raised his voice at you, which he hates. He pledged that he will never raise his voice and a hand at you. He will never in his life become like his father.

He returned to carry on with the ohagi he’s making and to turn away from you. “There is no use for a Hashira who couldn’t even finish a demon of the Twelve Kizuki. You said it before, you think you’re weak for a Hashira. There’ll be a grave waiting for you and the corps members you’re with every time you set out on missions. We can’t have a fighter dragging the whole slayer corps down, let alone a Hashira. You have that hobby you always love, right? Go do it for a living and quit the Demon Slayer Corps.”

You couldn’t care anymore about your inability to breathe. Eyes clouded with tears as every word he said pierced you. While searching for a thing to say, tears quickly fell from your eyes. You immediately looked up and wiped the tears away. “No,” you mumbled under your breath, “you don’t mean that.” You turned away, ready to leave, “I’ll get going.” You moved past his doorway, your hands fell on the door, about to close it. “I don’t want to be with you anymore. Let’s end this.”

Your hands froze at the door, tears rapidly falling down your face, you felt like your legs are giving up but at the same time, you cannot move your whole body. No words are coming out of you. You’re finally able to take a ragged breath, “we’ll talk about this when I get back.” You swiftly closed the door and leaped away as fast as you could. When you were at a some distance from his estate, you heard Sanemi let out a loud crying “fuck!” which made you feel shivers and stop to look towards his estate, a trail of tears still in your face, before setting out on your mission.

You got the sweets for the girls at the Butterfly Mansion, and you bought some extra because you might get hungry on the way back. You got a little carried away strolling through the town and you forgot about the time. If your calculations are correct, you’ll get back home before the break of dawn.

“One mountain down, two to go.” You mumble while catching your breath as you walk at a brisk pace, hurrying since you remember you can’t fight a demon with a broken katana. It was the third quarter of the hour of the ox when you were half down your second mountain. Everything was peaceful, or so you thought. You were stopped on your tracks as a short and very thin old-looking man, crouching on the ground while weeping, appeared before you. You didn’t detect its presence but you were in no doubt that it was a demon by the moment you saw it. Someone with two horns and a huge bump on their head couldn’t be a human. You were about to unsheath your katana and assume a fighting stance when the demon bawled louder about being kind to the weak, that he’s innocent, and that he deserves pity.

“What if… I'm gone, what would you do?"

"I mean like, you know…”

It’s already past midnight and Sanemi is still on the grounds, exhausting himself training. More than a day since you two last talked, he still can’t get you out of his head, your voice and face kept flashing before him. Since he came back from patrol, he has never left the grounds, training with his katana instead of a wooden one. His attacks became sharper and more violent as he convinced himself that he did the right thing and the best that he could do.

During that time in the hot spring, Sanemi took your hypotheticals as a hundred percent joke, because he knew that it would never happen. Why does he know that? Because he will never let you die. He will protect you with his life and everything he has. He loves you, he’s certain about it even though he rarely says that he loves you. You’re one of the most important people in his life, way more important than his. Master Ubuyashiki, whom he respects from the bottom of his heart, Genya, his beloved younger brother whom he couldn’t bear the thought of him breathing the same air and living on the same land as the demons, and you, the love of his life whom he never once thought would even happen to him and whom he vowed to love for the rest of his life.

Sanemi didn’t even realize how much he loves and cares about you, not until during his patrol, when he was fighting demons and he suddenly thought of you. You are a Hashira and he doesn’t think you’re weak, but his gut just couldn’t take the thought of you risking your life fighting demons. It’s idiotic to ask you to quit the corps, and he thinks that he has no right to ask you that because you are a Hashira long before you two got together.

Your voice asking those hypotheticals, playing over and over in his head, adds fuel to his fire. Even while he’s on missions, he’s so worried about how you’re doing, while you’re away too busy with your own dangerous missions. The letters you leave at his estate are his only way to know that you’re doing alright and that you’re safe. Unlike with Genya, he can check on him from afar once in a while, and him being under the guidance of the Stone Hashira is a huge relief for Sanemi. But it is to his distress that he cannot get his brother out of the corps and live a normal and happy life.

“KAW! KAW! WIND HASHIRA, SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI, YOU MUST HEAD TO THE NORTHEASTERN SIDE OF THE SECOND MOUNTAIN UP NORTH, IMMEDIATELY! DEMON OF THE TWELVE KIZUKI IS SPOTTED! MAGMA HASHIRA, Y/N, IS FIGHTING THE DEMON. PROVIDE REINFORCEMENTS! IMMEDIATELY! KAW!”

The information that the crow squawked regarding the Upper Rank Kizuki alone already had Sanemi ready to bolt away, but with you facing a Twelve Kizuki demon, veins began to pop on his face and bloodshot eyes clouded with tears. "Dammit, y/n, what are you doing that far away? Hold on right there. Wait for me, please.”

Since his realization, the more time you spend away from each other, the more Sanemi gains ample time to think about you and what you are to him.

“Knock, knock.”

Just from the moment Sanemi felt your presence as you entered his estate, his heart and mind felt the tranquility that he longed for.

He has decided on what he wants to do. What he needs to do. Your cheerfulness and the way you cling on him reminds him of his late older brother figure, Masachika, who he owes a lot yet in the end he couldn’t save from a demon. He believes that his loved ones died because he couldn’t protect them. He won’t make that mistake with you. With you and Genya.

“Oh, right. I won’t be staying for long. I just received new orders.”

No, please stop. I can’t bear to lose even you.

“Uhm, is… everything alright, Sanemi?”

No. As long as there are fucking demons here living in this world, nothing will be alright. I hope everything’s alright. I’ll annihilate all the demons if I can, to keep you safe… to keep everyone safe. Just… please let me protect you. Let me keep you safe.

"Leave the corps."

"Hm– w-what?"

"You should leave the slayer corps."

“Where… i-is this coming from?”

“L/N,” Sanemi dropped his hands and at the moment he looked at you, he just wanted to give in and wrap you in his arms. But doing that will make it harder for him to ask you to leave the corps.

“I said get the fuck out of the demon slayer corps!”

If he has to push you away, he will even if it pains him. Even if it pains the both of you.

“There is no use for a Hashira who couldn’t even finish a demon of the Twelve Kizuki. You said it before, you think you’re weak for a Hashira. There’ll be a grave waiting for you and the corps members you’re with every time you set out on missions. We can’t have a fighter dragging the whole slayer corps down, let alone a Hashira. You have that hobby you always love, right? Go do it for a living and quit the Demon Slayer Corps.”

I’m sorry. Please just live a normal life, far from risking your life, far from demons. I’ll protect you, I promise. Just please…

During that time, you didn’t know how hard Sanemi is trying to keep his tears from falling. It pains him more that he has to hurt you like this.

“No, you don’t mean that. I’ll get going.”

Please don’t go. Please don’t make this harder.

“I don’t want to be with you anymore. Let’s end this.”

That’s a lie. I want to be with you. I want to be by your side for the rest of my life. But… it’s just that… we can’t. I can’t. I want to protect you. If I could get you away from demons, it would be easier. But if I can’t, maybe it would be better this way. Maybe this would make you leave the corps.

“We'll talk about this when I get back.”

Come to think of it, if we stayed together while any or both of us stayed in the corps, it’s like we’re knocking on death’s door each and every time. Maybe… I will be fine if you'll marry and build a family with someone else if it means that you’d be safe. Just, please…

All that Sanemi could do is yelp a curse as you hurriedly left his estate, weeping from what he did to you.

You’ve been fighting this demon for who knows how long. You’ve lost your sense of time since it appeared. Too occupied by trying to finish the demon while figuring out how to make use of your half-useful katana. What you noticed about the demon was its skill at remaining hidden, it moves unbearably fast, and its neck is annoyingly tough.

“Please don’t attack me. I never did anything wrong. I am a kind-natured weakling.”

Trying to catch your breath from all the playing chase, “you’re fast, huh! How many people did you eat?”

“No, I did not kill anyone. I have never! I’m only trying to get a meal. Be kind to the weak.”

"Shut up with your nonsense! I’ve had enough of your screeching.” As of now, you have successfully reached its neck multiple times, but not deep enough to behead it. With your katana in this state, it can really be maddening. You speculate that the demon might be one of the Twelve Kizuki, you have never fought anyone this strong and its aura is really something.

Magma Breathing, Fourth Form: Flow of Lava. In a new attempt, you were able to bury your katana on the demon’s neck. Your multiple slashes miraculously managed to finally behead the demon.

As you waited for it to crumble into the air, you couldn’t believe your eyes as the demon’s head grew a body and the body grew a head. You knew you were done for. There’s no way you can get out of this fight alive. You’re reaching your limit. It became worse when you saw the demons’ eyes. Upper Four.

“Fuck, y/n, where are you?” Sanemi arrived at the mentioned location, wandering around the mountain looking for you and the demon. He began to wonder if the crow gave the right information and why he couldn't feel any demon presence.

The last thing you know was you were left unconscious when you absorbed a hit of lightning from one of the demon’s Khakkhara staff and the other demon sent you flying away using a huge leaf-shaped fan. You open your eyes thinking that you’ve already died as Sanemi greets you awake. “What the fuck happened, y/n?” Ah, you’re still alive. As you remembered the demon you were fighting just awhile ago, you used all your remaining strength to get up. “What time is it?”

“The fuck, does that even matter right now?”

“Yes it does. Beheading… the demon is no good. It multiplies. We… need to keep those under the sunlight. Go… there, the demons’ there.”

“Just stay right there. You’re in no state to fight.”

Both you and Sanemi felt like you were just running in circles around the woods as the sun began to rise fully and you still couldn’t find the demons. You finally catched up to Sanemi, “I thought I told you to stay right there?!”

“How would you expect me to just stay right there? If I’ll die, I might as well take a demon with me.”

You tried to position yourself ahead of Sanemi to take the lead when all the aftereffects of your injuries suddenly hit you. Beads of cold sweats cover your whole face, your head suddenly feels hot and heavy, your vision getting darker and spinning around, and your legs giving up. You suddenly felt the urge to cough, but once you did, blood just kept spilling out of your mouth.

Sanemi rushed to catch you before you fell hard on the ground. “Fuck, y/n! I told you to–” he decided to stop his scolding and gently placed you to the ground, preparing to provide you first aid. He took out some supplies he had on hand, starting to fall apart at how much of a mess you look like. Your haori and remaining uniform shredded, hair dripping wet with your own blood – the one you probably got when your head hit the tree as you were sent flying, your forehead wound reopened which now extends to your hairline, your chest bleeding from the time the demon stabbed you with a staff, and with multiple cuts, abrasions, and sprains all over your body.

Sanemi finally decided to begin to tend your wounds starting from your head. He held your head to cover it around with a cloth to slow down the bleeding.

“I'm sorry, Sanemi.” What were you sorry for? For not killing the demon? For not being worthy of a Hashira? For being weak? For being this kind of mess? Actually for a lot of reasons.

With your last remaining strength to keep your eyes open, you keep them focused on Sanemi. He unbelievably looks calm. “Sanemi,” he’s so focused at tending to your wounds and as if you were not giving your final words. Your wounds are not that fatal, but it is the blood loss that will end you. “I’m letting you go.”

“Shut up.” Tears straight away flood down at Sanemi’s cheeks, while still keeping a straight and calm face. “I–”, “shut up! Shut up, y/n! I take that back! You’re right, I don’t mean it. That’s not what you want, and so do I. I’ll handle this. I’ll take you home and we’ll be together until we get old and wrinkly.” Tears just keep falling from Sanemi’s face, avoiding your gaze as he breaks out from his clam facade. “Shit, where are the fucking kakushi?”

His words and efforts to keep you alive gave you a sense of relief. At your final moments, he’s by your side. “Sanemi,”

Sanemi slipped his arm under your legs and the other held your back as he carried you, hurrying to the butterfly estate.

Your lips curled up to a smile as you brought your hand up to caress his cheek one last time, he finally looked you in the eyes, “thank you…” for everything.

Never in your wildest dreams did you think you'd be a demon slayer. You used to live a normal Taisho-era life, until almost all of your family members, relatives, and people you care about died from illness. Aside from your childhood best friend, who was killed by a demon right in front of you. You were so helpless and if it wasn’t for a demon slayer, you’d also become a meal of that cruel demon.

You had nowhere to go, until a cultivator accepted you in. Since then, you’re mercilessly killing demons. And that became your only reason to live, but not enough to make you afraid of losing your own life.

You don't care about the rankings at all, as long as you could kill demons you’re fine. You’re so used to beheading the usual demons, and you swear that you could behead a demon even with your eyes closed. You initially turned down the offer of becoming a Hashira. You said you have no interest in it and that you didn’t even meet the qualifications. But one time, you were called to the Ubuyashiki Mansion. What you didn’t know is that is when your life will start to change. It was Ubuyashiki Kagaya himself who asked you to become a Hashira. You haven’t got the chance to kill a demon of the Twelve Kizuki, but as a Kinoe, you were able to kill around a hundred of demons. He believes that you could handle becoming a Hashira. With his calm demeanor that you couldn’t resist, you finally gave in.

Almost everyone has been kind to you, even after you become a Hashira through that other way. One of the exceptions was the Wind Hashira. You were still a Kinoe when you two first met and you both got on each other’s nerves on your first meeting. You thought once you became a Hashira, maybe you could smooth things over with him. But no, it became worse. You two can’t stand to be in the same room. You have only attended a Hashira meeting once, and during the time before and after the Master arrived and left, there was a tension between you two that no one could deny.

The Master is surely a cunning one. You and Sanemi were sent on a joint mission and it did not only smooth things between you two. After that mission, you even tried to act like the usual and hide the tension – which is a different kind of tension now– between you two. Later on, the other Hashiras just happened to know about you two out of nowhere. In fact, it delighted the Master.

You’ve never been happier since you and Sanemi became a thing. You felt like that time when the Master asked you to become a Hashira is also the time you were reborn as a better version of yourself. Everything since that incident was nothing but something that you are grateful for.

A little girl’s voice called out your name, “you’re finally awake. How are you feeling?”

You glanced towards the little girl, it’s Sumi. Her face is glowing in solace. You smiled at her with weakness in your eyes. “Wait here, y/n-san, let me just get your medicines.” Her hair bounced as she hurriedly left the room. Your eyes wandered around the room, feeling incredulous as you made it out alive. Sanemi. You wondered where he was and how he was doing. Your eyes happened to land on the bedside table, where there is a vase of your favorite flowers that grows just on the way to your estate. It looks like it was just freshly picked.

“Oh, that flower,” Sumi is back, with Naho and Kiyo peeking from the threshold, “someone leaves flowers of that kind almost everyday.” The girls shyly smiled at each other before Kiyo added, “we think it’s from Wind Hashira-sama. We’re not sure about it but we once saw him come out of your room one evening. Then the flowers in your room changed to a fresher one.”

Your rested hand clutched the bedsheet beneath you as you felt a familiar tingle in your chest. The weakness in your eyes was lessened as you smiled at the girls. “I’m sorry. I bought some well-praised sweets but I think I left it somewhere.”

“Oh, don’t bother with it, y/n-san,” Sumi walked towards you with the tray of medicines, “you were unconscious for more than a month. Shinobu-san said that if Wind Hashira-sama brought you here a minute later, you might not survive the blood loss.”

You and the girls continued to chat about the things that you missed while you were unconscious. They said, even the Master dropped you a visit. Because of the resistance your body has and with Shinobu’s medicines, you were feeling a lot better on the second day after you woke up. You insisted that they discharge you already because you need to catch-up on a lot of things and a Hashira couldn’t waste any more time. Even Shinobu was against your request.

You felt useless in the Demon Slayer Corps after what happened and, even if Shinobu will get mad at you, you decided to sneak out of the mansion to start on your training and reports. It seems that things are going slightly according to your plan when a number of corps members arrive at the mansion for treatment, which means they'll be too busy to attend to you.

You left your room quietly, hoping that no one would see you. By the time you turned a corner, you were surprised by Sanemi, holding the same flowers you have in your room and a box wrapped in a furoshiki cloth. “What are you doing?” His tone is like a parent’s who caught their child doing something they were specifically told not to, “where are you going?”

“Well, I…” while you’re trying to think of some acceptable excuse for him, he placed the flower in his other hand holding the bento and grabbed you by your forearm with his newly free hand. “You’re not going anywhere. Kocho told me that you insist on training while you haven’t recovered fully. You're as stubborn as ever.”

“Well, uhm…” You couldn’t do anything as Sanemi already brought you to your room before you could even protest. He dropped you on your bed, “Just stay here, y/n. Your training could wait.” He walked towards the bedside to change the flowers like he always does, but now he has ohagi and anpan– both that you really love – with him. “But I… I already wasted so much time and I have to make a report about the demon I encountered.”

“You’re not wasting time here, y/n, you’re recovering. Besides, no one is rushing you about that report, everyone understands your situation.”

“How about the second Hashira Meeting for this year? I have to prepare for that–”

“It’s done. It was the day before yesterday. For fuck’s sake, y/n, why can’t you understand that you can’t just go out there living recklessly and waving at death? I… I-” Your mouth fell shut as Sanemi reproached you. “We’re demon slayers, that alone is already dangerous and I can’t have you living like your life isn’t important. I can’t bear to see you bleeding to death like that again. Do you think I don’t care about you? Stop being so selfish, y/n.” Sanemi immediately turned away from you and was about to leave the room as shame rose on him for saying those words at you. For saying what he actually felt.

Five days after your attempt to escape, Shinobu finally allowed you to leave the estate under their care. As Sumi, Naho, and Kiyo send you off, you see Sanemi waiting for you at the gate of the estate. You felt butterflies flutter in your stomach and you couldn't fight your lips from making a grin. You waved the girls goodbye while Sanemi approached you.

“How are you feeling?”

“A lot better, now that you’re here” you lowered the volume of your voice at that second part, hopefully he didn't hear.

He hummed a laugh in victory as he walked a little ahead of you. The whole walk was quiet yet comfortable. “Uhm, Sanemi, this is the way to my estate…” You said hesitantly as he was about to keep walking towards a different direction, “I know. We’re going at mine.”

“But I… I have some things to take care of at mine,” you replied in objection. “Like what?”

"Like dust off my house, check on my plants if they're still alive, and some general cleaning. You know I haven't been there for quite a while, I don't know if my house is still standing–"

"I already took care of those things. Your house is free of dust, your plants are still alive, and your house is still right where you left it, if that's what you're worried about." Sanemi sounds like he's pouting, shy to admit that he did all that for you. Even if his face is turned away from you, you're certain that his face is red right now.

"What's funny?" he defensively asked you when you giggled, "nothing" while bringing your hand up to cover your curled up lips. "Hey, don't you have a mission to take care of?"

"I'll supervise your training until you're back at your feet. I asked Oyakata-sama to allow me. I'll be taking at least two weeks off."

"You really went that far, huh?"

He fiercely looked at you from his eyelids before rolling his eyes.

He's back. You're both back.

"Won't you get moving? You still have that training you're dying to do."

"Hey, wait," you wore a shy grin "are we… still together?"

He rolled his eyes at you again, closing the distance between you two before wrapping his arms around your thighs and carrying you over his shoulders. "Like I said, your training is waiting for you, we have to get moving."

"No, no wait, answer my question."

"Of course we are. What else would we be?"

That was the reassurance that you've been waiting for.

You're liking the view that you got. Even if your view is upside down, the way his ass moves on every step he does makes your legs tingle.

"After the training, do you want to go to the hot spring?"

Endnotes: Aaaah it's finished! I think I overplanned this and got a little carried away. But anyways, thank you for reading until the end. I hope you have enjoyed reading this just like how I enjoyed writing it. Love, reblogs, and feedbacks are highly appreciated! ♡♡♡

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