ohnohelpitsagain

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amiri was by far the most accurate representation of how it feels to talk to a girl. like yes the stars and the moon! and… uh… there’s boars now goodnight 😔

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it's her!!

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struggling to find time to finish this 😩 its almost done i promise

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i read what doesn’t break again and OH MY GOD?

i’m sorry laudna and imogen are SO INSANE THE WAY THEY FALL IN LOVE IMMEDIATELY LIKE THAT???

laudna really looked at imogen Once and decided that she was the most perfect thing on the planet. her saying that even if she had NOTHING else in a hundred years, she’d remember every freckle on imogen’s face after knowing her for like AN HOUR MAX?

there’s something about the way laudna cherishes imogen SO SO gently but SO SO intensely that is soooooo important to me. their traumas so deeply paint how they love and it’s not always a bad thing. laudna spends a lot of what doesn’t break losing things. her sense of autonomy and humanity, her things, her connections and relationships. so when she finds imogen? it’s like she eventually says! imogen is her anchor. she won’t lose imogen and her hope and desire is that imogen won’t lose her or let her go.

it’s why she memorizes the sound of her voice, the color of her hair, all the freckles on her face. she’ll remember imogen in every way she can. and when she gets to stay with imogen? she’ll cherish her in any way she can.

she describes filing imogen’s name away gently like it’s precious and fragile and doesn’t it often feel like that? the feeling of your mouth around a name, a perceptible marker of the person in front of you. an exchange of information that you can carry with you forever.

she’s laudna’s rescuer, she’s beautiful, she’s powerful and she’s real.

she’s imogen. and laudna loves imogen.

they are truly the wives of all time, i’m immediately rewatching bells hells bc WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN.

anyways that’s all.

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me? screaming about devotion?

yeah no one moved makes sense

but vox machina - stories untold spoilers lie ahead so be warned!

ANYWAYS

i finally finished the tides by sam maggs and i need to yap somewhere about it so i’m choosing the tumblr ether because this short story just encompassed one of my FAVORITE character traits to explore and illustrated the reason i will never think paladin is a boring class to play. that thing? devotion.

devotion is such a gut wrenching concept to explore especially in the way it interacts with love. devotion implies a sort of action. a movement. devotion is selfless. devotion also implies love. and this makes sense! love and devotion seem to go hand in hand, after all, isn’t love also selfless?

and this is what i loved SO much about ‘the tides,’ because while it highlights the absolute magnitude and beauty of devotion especially in romantic contexts (i’m a sucker for devotion like YES be devoted and like, specifically call it devotion! make parallels to worship!) it also makes the point to say that love also needs to be “selfish.” you have to be able to care for yourself.

i think making this point, in the context of kima and her oath to her god does something SO beautiful and like, so healing because this is not something that is easy to understand when raised with a concept of religious devotion. when you grow up to understand yourself as a selfish thing that needs to cast aside all wants and desires to lay over hot coals to be redeemed or to serve your purpose, that devotion becomes a map for love.

like, hearing the platinum dragon speak to kima, in the moment she realizes she’s in love with allura, and tell her that she has value inherently and can fight for herself outside of the context of the people she loves and is devoted to? literally SO beautiful and SO poignant. because devotion does not have to mean living only because how you serve brings value to your life. it means living because you have an inherent value. you have the ability to love and to laugh, to cry and grieve and bring joy and be a bummer sometimes and that isn’t valuable just because it is for anyone else. it’s valuable on the principle that you are capable of it.

like, to love someone is the most selfless and most selfish thing you can do and isn’t it a joy to do it?

anyways kimallura thoughts… no one touch me…

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this will perpetually sit at the top of my sapphic reads list

VOX MACHINA: STORIES UNTOLD is out TODAY!!

Sweet Critters, you can read my gay as fuck Kimallura story and other incredible works by powerhouses like Kendra Wells, Aabria Iyengar, Izzy Wasserstein, and so many more. Foreword by Liam O’Brien himself!!

I hope you enjoy sapphic angst because THAT’S WHAT I BRING FOR YOU MY FRIENDS

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CRITICAL ROLE: CAMPAIGN 3 Episode 121: A New Age Begins

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“i’m just imogen”

and isn’t that just the perfect summation of it? i made a point last episode that imogen has spent her life as a vessel. to her father, her face was her mother’s. to her town, she was an embodiment of every unknown they could fear. she’s been the exaltant hope, a child of the god-eater, the end of the pantheon, the storm.

she’s been a vessel.

but she doesn’t have to be a vessel forever.

dorian asks the gods if they want to live for themselves for once. he’s speaking to them, he’s speaking to himself and he’s also speaking quite well to imogen’s position. for once she can not only live for herself but she can live as herself. she doesn’t have to be predator or prey, goddess or vessel, she can just be imogen. and imogen is strong and good and powerful, not because she’s a vessel. but because she’s imogen.

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“You know that wasn’t the point, right? Worshipping the gods just because they’re gods?”

FUCKING THANK YOU AABRIA

If you have trouble worshipping a god’s domain without their name attached your faith is shaky

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predathos with that resident evil 7 tease. like okay eveline. chill tf out.

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he literally crawls back to her don't touch me- (edits are also on tiktok @/ohnohelpitsagain)

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sorry, i was just having the funniest conversation with my friend about if the matron became mortal and got raised by her champion again, like if vax returned and then raised her like purvan, and it gave me truly the funniest mental image of a vaxleth happy ending only keyleth now has to raise the goddess she loathed, like we've been laughing about this for ten minutes straight

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“why were they mean?? they were only directly threatened by a betrayer god’s followers, that betrayer god’s followers were also probably scared!”

maybe…. because they were directly threatened by a betrayer god’s followers and they were also probably…. scared idk??

like just a reminder that these institutions are not suddenly blameless just because this purple haired witch carries a god eater inside of her after a long line of extraordinarily nuanced situations

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pretty immediately, the thing that stands out about every post about the end of the ep that places the armies and warriors of Vasselheim as victims is the subtle obfuscation of that militarized status. there were armies, intending to lock Imogen and the Hells away for the crime of saving them. and people are comparing them to Buddhist monks. violence and threat in the hands of outsiders is horrifying, but violence to maintain the preexisting power structures is so normalized as to be forgotten.

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imogen’s arc building to this moment, her fulfilling this horrible duty and it brings her back to the start. they’re all afraid of her and it’s like she’s back in gelvaan.

imogen’s true curse isn’t being the vessel for predathos, it’s being the vessel for things that people would rather not face. or the things that they can’t hold on their own.

she carries her mother’s face and her hand me down pain and it’s like she never had a chance. she’s a vessel for her father’s pain, for the life he never got to have with the woman he’d imagined having one with. she’s a vessel for a town’s fear of the things they don’t understand. the dangerous things that they can’t control. she carries that with her.

but then she leaves. and then she’s the vessel for an idea. she’s ruidusborn, she’s exaltant, she’s the hope for an existential threat and she’s the key. everything that’s too big to contain? the spillover is for her. she carries that with her.

finally? she’s literally the vessel for predathos, the god eater. she’s the one who will house the big, scary entity that people barely understand. she’s the one who will literally carry that with her. but it’s not just that she carries the one real physical threat to exandria’s pantheon inside her, it’s that she carries with her the idea that their power is at risk. their control. they are scared! of predathos, yes but also of what imogen containing him means. she’s the embodiment of their failing power structure, the cracks in their system that keep them on top. she’ll carry that with her now.

so yeah. imogen is the vessel for predathos now. but when you think about it, imogen’s been the vessel for things bigger than her her entire life.

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Bewitched