old-littlemisssun - Tumblr blog

[old-littlemisssun]

Moving to a new account

Yess yess people. We are moving. We stay littlemisssun.tumblr.com but no longer on this account. I went total nuts from the primary that isn't used and the fact that I had to keep switching or re post things because I forgot to put it on the secondary. So please the ones that follow, follow our new one.

[old-littlemisssun]

“Dear Diary”Seeing the Ex

So I saw my ex yesterday evening.

I still had some stuff over at his place and well wanted to get rid of the demons of my past before the year would end.

So I drove all the way up there, a road first so familiar to me now felt awkward and weird.

My first intentions were to just take the stuff and leave. But the closer I was the more curious I became how life was threating him.

I decided to go with the flow and what would feel the best thing to do.

I got myself a spot on the parking lot and got out, to his door. I sended him a text that I was there. I did not wanted to ring the doorbell. What if his mom would open up. What would she think and how would she look at me seeing me there. Knowing my ex he wouldn’t have said a thing.

My ex opened the door for me and for a moment I felt frozen. To see his familiar face after so long. All kind of thoughts went through my mind. One of them was “Do I miss him?”. A reasonable question if you ask me, concidering I spend 18 months with him. But it wasn’t a question in the way of do I miss him with my heart, as a lover. But just in general. Did I missed this person in my life?

He offered me to come inside for some tea and without really thinking I accepted his offer. I had some awkward eye-contact with his mom. My eye immediately wandered around and I came to the conclusion not much had changed. 

He got the tea ready and we went upstairs to his room. I started to think by myself “what the hell am I doing” while I was calming myself down by saying “There is nothing wrong about this. Two people with a history can talk with each other”. 

I opened the door to his room and I immediately noticed the change. His whole room was different. So while I was looking around I could not help but think that it looked way better this way and wondered why the idea didn’t came up way earlier. Ohwell. 

So we sat down and started to talk. We talked about how life is threating us now and we made a few jokes about the past. There were some moments where I had to admit that I missed it a little. But I slowly came to realise it were the memories I was missing and not the person itself. 

We talked for like an half hour or so. It felt good. It also felt awkward but it also felt just okey. There was no drama, no fighting, no shaming on the other. It was really two adults talking as friends. It was totally nothing I expected it to be. I was happy that I took his offer. It made me somewhere happy knowing he was making his life better and that he changed some of his bad points. 

It felt good hearing he was happy for me. For the basic things like mentally and well work. But he also said he was happy that I found someone that makes me happy. This came as a minor shock. I had never hear an ex say that before. 

Did I had an answer to my question. Yes, I did. Like I said. I missed the memories and not the person, so no I didn’t missed him.  And that feels good to know. It feels like I can finally close that chapter of my life. That I undid myself of all my demons of the past and now I’m able to start the new year with a new chapter. 

One that will tell the story about me and my Master. Hopefully the one where I am finally able to write my happiness down. A chapter with many secrets and unknown turns and with me way to curious to find it all out. I am happy now and I hope I can continue saying that everyday over again.

So I saw my ex yesterday and I do not regret it at all.

[old-littlemisssun]

A little editing

You know, I like to edit pictures. I’m not good with it but I like doing it.

So this night I kept myself busy with editing my IMVU profile picture. 

I always get jealous when I see people with such amazing profile pictures and then I look at mine and I’m like “Damn it looks so simple, so basic. I want something that stands out”

So after a long struggle with the editor I finally came up with something.

[old-littlemisssun]

No secrets. "Conversation"

“Ever had the kind of relationship where you have no secrets for your partner?” -♡Doll♡

“Guess this is your first Lil. Especially now He knows the link to your blog. Why you gave it to Him?” -✞Dusk✞

“Well I think it’s sweet!”-☼Aurora☼

“Aurora, you think everything is sweet” -✞Dusk✞

“I doubted about it at first, but hey if everyone on the web can read it why can’t He?” -♡Doll♡

“Just keep in mind that what ever you post now, He can read it anytime He wants. Is that really what you want?”-✞Dusk✞

“Deep down I do not mind. No secrets, that’s how it should be right? I love Him and He loves me. No need for secrets right?” -♡Doll♡

“Well if you say so..” -✞Dusk✞

“Soooo cute!” -☼Aurora☼

“Urgh Aurora” -✞Dusk✞

“What?” -☼Aurora☼

“Girls be nice” -♡Doll♡

“Yah, yah..” -✞Dusk✞

“What o.o I did nothing.. Fine” -☼Aurora☼

“Good girls” -♡Doll♡

[old-littlemisssun]

"Dear Diary" Not just sex.

When me and my Master are intimate you can call it sex. Dirty rough sex. I do not complain, not at all.

But last night was something different.

He was kissing my neck and my shoulders. I felt so special and precious. And before I knew it I whispered “please make love to me, with me”

I heard a light chuckle behind me. He overheard my soft whisper. He continued kissing my back and I slowly felt some poking.

I will leave out the 18+ details, haha. It was just wonderful. It was sweet and gentle, totally not His style. Which made it even better. It was everything I hoped for and more. I felt special, precious, dear, all kind of things like that. I could really feel the love. With my body, my heart and my soul.

He makes me feel special and precious everyday but now He made me feel it even more. I can honestly say I love Him very much with every fiber of my soul.

Each and everyday I realise how badly I want to be with Him, how much I love Him and how lucky I am to be with Him.

-♡Doll♡

[old-littlemisssun]

[old-littlemisssun]

[old-littlemisssun]

[old-littlemisssun]

"Dear Diary" Jealousy

I can’t help it, being jealous all the time. There are girls texting You, wanting Your attention. Then there is the online wife that is just freaking me out. Everytime I get online I can’t help but look on Your profile. And everytime it ends up with torturing myself..

I see Your homepage. The first I see is the profile picture which makes me wanna growl. Then I see the special person section. And it just makes me cry. Those words said for her, to her makes me just want to cry my eyes out.

In the end I keep telling myself that it’s nothing, that I shouldn’t care much. But I do. I know how deep things can go online. It might be just pixels but behind that are real people with real feelings.

I just want to be the only girl on Your mind. The only girl that is good enough for Your attention. I want to be Your only doll. I do not want to share that name with anyone. Not in person and not online. Little Doll means so much to me and I want to be the only one You call that.

Does that make me a bad person? To be so jealous? I love You, maybe a bit to much.. I can’t help it. I found love, love that makes me happy and I don’t want to let go or give it up.

-♡Doll♡

[old-littlemisssun]

See, He doesn’t care. You’ve been crying for an half hour and He is just playing His game.

✞Dusk✞

[old-littlemisssun]

Deep down I wish to get spoiled. To be like a fucking princess.

♡Doll♡

[old-littlemisssun]

Merry x-mas!!!

♡Doll♡, ☼Aurora☼ & ✞Dusk✞

[old-littlemisssun]

-☼Aurora☼

[old-littlemisssun]

Lilith isn't really a morning person. Her beauty nap was clearly not enough. -✞Dusk✞

[old-littlemisssun]

You keep wondering; why does He care?

✞Dusk✞

[old-littlemisssun]

When I die..

When I die the question will not be will I be missed. I am sure of that. The real question will be how many lifes will improve. How many things will go better when I am no longer around.

For example. When I die… 1) my mother only has to care for one kid. 2) my father only has to pay one kid. 3) my father can use the money he spends on me on himself or his depths. 4) my friends will no longer have to listen to my whiney bitching. 5) someone else can take my job and earn money that way. 6) my grandmother has a grandchild left to spend money on. 7) the food I would eat can now benefit someone else in the need of food. 8) my father no longer has to keep me in concidering. 9) my father’s bill will be less. 10) one family member less to take care off. 11) the money that is put in councling can be used for someone better, someone who really needs it. 12) they will forget me anyway overtime 13) my boyfriend doesn’t have to worry about me anymore 14) I can no longer hurt the ones around me 15) I can no longer disappoint them 16) I can no longer distroy their lifes 17) my dad doesn’t have to keep me in mind when his fiancé will come live in the house my dad and I live in. 18) I can no longer break hearts. 19) I can no longer anger them 20) My clothes and stuff can benefit someone else.

These are just examples of why their lifes will go better when I am no longer around.

So why would I stay? I wonder that everyday. Someday a bit more than the other..

-♡Doll♡

[old-littlemisssun]

Introduction round

As said in the description. It’s Me, Myself and I. That will say.

We have Aurora, the sweet innocent girl. She is the typical girly girl. See her as a child. Cookies, kittens, rainbows, flowers, everything happy. She is always positive and sees the best in everyone. Everyday she looks at the world like it is something new.

We also have Dusk. Dusk is more serious and more pessimistic. She has seen how rotten the world can be and with that her positive look on the world disappeared. She is a coldhearted bitch so better to stay away from her bad side. She has a big mouth and an attitude. She always manages to get what she want.

Then we have Doll. The host. She is a bit of both. She is in the middle of the bitch and the child. She is constantly looking for that perfect balance between them. She is very curious and naïve. She acts and/or speaks before she thinks. She is a total weirdo, especially when she has a conversation with Dusk and/or Aurora outloud.

Since 18th of november her heart belongs to someone. Her boyfriend, her Master. Aurora is very happy for her, Dusk isn’t convinced yet that this guy will be good enough for Doll, for them all. Because in the end He has not one girl, but three.