oni-official - Tumblr blog

[oni-official]

Oh, not at all.

That would hardly be productive.

I've been cooking lowkey, that Naomi fic from earlier like weeks ago I was chatting about, is in development.

Naomi: "I'm fast boi, I got them sketchers on" 🏃‍♀️💨

[oni-official]

We apologise for the lack of new updates as of late. It's full court press presently and we have been finding it difficult to make time for interesting updates from our end or well thought out replies to your questions. Rest assured, they are seen, they are appreciated and we will endeavour to respond as soon as possible.

Until then, we are faced with a choice. Would you prefer that we reblog some of our old favourite updates or that we simply wait until this hectic time has passed?

Thank you for your patience and, as ever-

Please stand by.

[oni-official]

See, now you're getting it.

Reasons why you shouldn't hate ONI:

AKA my desperate attempt to make sure that I'm not screwed-

1) Without ONI, we would be dead

2) Without ONI, we would still be at war

I'll come up with more reasons later-

[oni-official]

I found an ODST pod marked “Sullivan”.

Looked to be empty, the damn thing made a crater on impact! It landed in a shed somewhere.

What do?

Somebody will come pick it up. Then, you can forget about it.

Make sure to forget about it.

Or we'll have to ensure... bad records.

[oni-official]

Don't mind us.

I woke up and checked my notifications...

EVERYONE SCATTER, HIDE, AND CHANGE YOUR IDENTITIES-

[oni-official]

*runs up as close as I can to the outside of the main oni building*

FREE BENJAMIN GIRAUD!!!

*runs away faaast*

You know, that person was moving at quite an impressive clip.

I was rather sorry to hear about the accident they suffered tomorrow.

[oni-official]

I’m trying to teach this Huragok to play scrabble.

It’s not working, what do I do?

Have you tried teaching it English first?

[oni-official]

My therapist will be hearing about all of you.

[oni-official]

Don't fall for it.

[oni-official]

@lychbeast

[oni-official]

Idk if you booped me but you aren't going to find me or any of my friends

Sorry about the rubicon it was partly their fault but mostly mine my bad

62.35% is still guilty. We're always on the lookout for you, lightbulb.

[oni-official]

To be completely clear, if we booped you, it means you're on a list and a Pelican is on the way.

[oni-official]

To be completely clear, if we booped you, it means you're on a list and a Pelican is on the way.

[oni-official]

And we loved that bit of Africa, but here we are.

do i spot another rtas vadum appreciator here

I am a Rtas Vadum appreciator FIRST. Human SECOND. 🤞🏻

[oni-official]

I found Admiral Cole down the back of my sofa.

He vanished before I could ask him any questions though.

Admiral Preston Cole exists in a state of quantum flux and will disappear whenever he is directly observed.

It's not bad, as retirements go.

[oni-official]

Does ONI know what happens when we die? Do we go to slipspace?

I spent some time on a Remote Scanning Outpost. I'd send probes into slipspace and collect their data when they dropped back out. And that was it. This was the very edge of UNSC space. No one else was on board, except the AI. There was a lot of downtime. There was a lot of silence.

The data you get from slipspace is largely in the form of numbers that programs interpret. I got into the habit of getting the AI to use the data to generate sounds - what the probe "heard" while in slipspace - and I'd just turn off the lights and listen to that while the numbers crunched. It mostly just sounded like static and wind. But you start noticing patterns.

You start noticing whispers.

Can I tell you for certain that you go somewhere when you die?

No.

But I know that the universe doesn't forget you having been there.

[oni-official]

Excuse me sir I would like to request some more Sleeveless ODSTs please

I love your responses and artworks, they bring me so much joy when I see them

One order of sleeveless ODSTs coming up o7

And thank YOU ×1000!! I like making silly art pieces about the characters I love and when other people get to enjoy them with me, it makes it worth the effort