our-multigender-experience

[our-multigender-experience]

i’ve been on HRT for about six months now and I’ve begun experiencing moments of dysphoria in the opposite direction from usual. Which is. a very weird feeling

Don’t get me wrong, I have felt a lot less dysphoric overall recently, it just never occurred to me that dysphoria in both directions at once would even be a thing

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[our-multigender-experience]

im okay with presenting as female and i enjoy being a girl but i also just wanna be a gay boy. and if im gonna be a gay boy i wanna look like one. but i also wanna be a girl. sighhhhh

good news! you can be both.

(check out @our-multigender-experience)

[our-multigender-experience]

Our multigender experience is being a boy and a girl separately but also neither but also both at the same time, while also keeping on misgendering yourself as cis in your head because you dont see yourself as "trans enough" because your physical appearance hasnt changed.

Also multigender experience is not knowing if you're fluid or not because there's too many feelings to keep track of

-🦌🌊

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[our-multigender-experience]

Also wanted to say, thank you for replying to my ask, and thank you to the person who suggested I look into honeybee transfem. Finding the term made me feel so validated and happy <3333

I also love blueberry bee transfemasc which perfectly encompasses both feeling transfem and transmasc. It almost feels like two identities inside me that want opposite things, one wanting to present more androgynous/masc and one wanting to present more femme. In general I dont like being perceived as just a girl!! I want to present more androgynously so people wont immediately perceive me as girl, so I was considering cutting my hair really short as that worked before, but also I kinda like my long hair and how I look with it, and still I know that it's not androgynous at all and will make people still perceive me as just girl. Im very confused still, about how I feel and if that changes over time or not, but I really feel like Im all things, like a feminine boy and a masculine girl and a transmasc butch and a genderqueer androgynous enby, so Im very glad to be able to understand that about myself and actively try to validate that part of my identity. Thank you so much

of course! I'm glad we all could help you and that you've started to find some labels you like

[our-multigender-experience]

I thought this was the right place to ask, but I often feel like both transfem and transmasc.

I realized recently that I feel "girl" as a gender is more something others perceive me as, it feels not something I was born as, but something society in general forced upon me by perceiving me that way. So my body for example, though feminine, doesnt make feel like I was "born a girl", it's just my body. I have no idea what my gender is, but all that I know is that it's not one thing. Masculinity and femininity are confusing notions to me, but I wish to partecipate in both, and I like to imagine what itd be like to be a guy or have cis boy traits even though I do feel a connection to my femininity and somewhat to being a girl.

Im also definitely non binary, or in some capacity experience a gender that I can only best describe as a mix of girl and nonbinary, not as in half and a half, but as in a mix that creates a distinct and different gender identity (reason why I dont like demigirl, it just feels like half and a half). I tend to use genderqueer as label and recently Ive allowed myself to refer to myself as trans, as Ive never done that before because I dont experience dysphoria with my body, even though I catch myself imagining how itd be to look different than I do.

So because my perception of my gender up until me questioning isnt "girl", it feels wrong to call myself a cis girl, even as "just a part of my whole gender". I feel trans both in the way I experience masculinity and the way I experience feminity. I like it that way, but hanging out w binary trans people I feel that's an impossible/wrong way to feel and Im just trying to be special.

-🦌🌊

mate your gender is so so valid, we have quite a few people in our system who expirence similar genderqueerness especially of a "binary and more" style is very common and valid.

[our-multigender-experience]

im a man-woman bigen and also trans masc. sometimes people look at me and make the assumption that trans masc = trans man. (i was afab) but it’s just not true? I’m not transitioning into manhood (I’ve always felt like it) I’m transitioning into masculinity. It’s a small distinction but it matters to me!! I kinda wonder if I’m being too sensitive over this but I’m lowkey kinda tired of everyone assuming this :/

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[our-multigender-experience]

i think i've given up on having a normal gender label at this point. the best label that fits me would be schrodingergender, which from my experience my gender feels like it's all genders and no genders simultaneously, without being fluid. but then when I start looking at xenogenders, some of them I add to my hoard bc xenogenders are amazing but majority of them don't really feel like my gender. But if I'm all genders, that shoudn't happen. But I'm also no genders, so technically that means it would make sense. I'm just a walking contradiction and atp i just find it hilarious lmao

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[our-multigender-experience]

multigender experience is people saying lesboys are just men trying to get with lesbians and your multigender ass is standing in the corner having your entire existence completely ignored and disregarded

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[our-multigender-experience]

multigender experience is wanting neopronouns that speak to your genders and not having any D:

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[our-multigender-experience]

bigender experience is feeling so uncomfortable with talking about your experiences with one of your genders (example girl) without at least mentioning your other gender (example boy)

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[our-multigender-experience]

I'm pretty excited because the trans meetup thingy I go to regularly might do some kind of multigender related event.

At a recent meeting I was venting some frustrations and during that mentioned that I often feel like I'm kind of on my own with a lot of this stuff.

One of the organizers overheard that and then talked to me for a bit and said they'd talk to the others about fitting some kind of smaller event into their schedule because they thought there's probably more people who feel like that and asked if I wanted to be involved in the planning which I said yes to so I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going to go

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[our-multigender-experience]

So, I'm omnigender and I've been thinking lately, am I still cis? Obviously, different labels are for funsies, but I like being able to describe myself accurately. Cis is right, but at the same time, it's not. Idk if I really want an answer, I think I'm just musing, cause like, I am a cis woman but also a cis man but also a trans man and trans woman and none of of these things and all of them at once. I dunnnnnnooooooo. Thank you for your time though 💜

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[our-multigender-experience]

I've begun to realize that the sense of questioning I've been feeling may stem from a sort of disconnect between my body/physical presentation and my true self. It's difficult to differentiate between enjoying multiple things equally and feeling completely neutral and apathetic to them, and I'm feeling a lot of that with gender right now. It's like, have I ever actually been a girl, or have I just taken the girl label without complaint because I felt no negativity or sense of wrong from it?

I don't feel like a human, just a bunch of thoughts and feelings trapped in a pile of moving meat. Like, I'm not my body, I'm just my brain, and I don't think my thoughts or emotions really need to be confined to a single gender at all.

So, what, then? Pangender? Agender? Or is this just some sudden, unrecognized bout of dissociation leaking its way into my identity?

I don't feel unhappy about any of this. If anything, it's great! It's freeing! I may still not know what I am, but somehow it feels so nice to acknowledge that I don't need to limit myself. All this time I've been trying to find the gendered sense of self people describe, and I've never been able to. I finally think I know why. I don't need a gender to be myself, I just need myself!

I'm not sure if I'm going to find a label that fits me, and this still might just end up being a weird introspective crisis that I get over and go back to being cis. But for the moment, I don't need to question it at all. I'm free.

And it kind of feels more like me than any gender could.

-👓📗

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[our-multigender-experience]

I'm questioning everything.

I thought I was cis for so long, I jokingly called myself the token cis kid in my friendgroup, and I never felt the need to question it because I so strongly beleived myself to be nothing more than a girl. And I think it's because, well, I've never disliked being a girl. I love feeling beautiful in a dress, I relate to plenty of female characters and feminine concepts, and I've never felt sad or uncomfortable at being called sister or daughter or girlfriend or referred to with she/her. I love being a girl.

But it just suddenly hit me one day: If I had been AMAB, I could so easily see myself feeling the same way about being a guy.

I thought for the longest time that I couldn't be trans, because I never felt like my assigned gender was wrong or didn't fit me. But all of a sudden I've started to imagine myself as a man, wearing suits and being called by masculine terms and having a more traditionally masculine face/body, and I'm realizing that it sounds so nice, and out of nowhere I've begun to fantasize about being able to just snap my fingers and go from girl to guy and back whenever I want.

I'm not ready to tell anybody yet, or even to give it a label myself. I could be bigender, androgyne, genderfluid, or hell, just a GNC woman who jumped the gun when she really just wanted to wear a tux every now and then. I don't know anything.

And I guess my greatest fear will be that I do commit to this and then it turns out to have been a phase and goes away as suddenly as it shows up. What if I tell everyone, and then it turns out I was wrong? What if this is just me kidding myself to try and fit in with the people around me? I don't know, and I'm so scared because if I say anything there'll be no going back, even if I tell them I was wrong I'll still have said it and I'll have to admit I was so easily fooled by my own mind.

I'm sorry for the essay, I didn't mean for this to be so long but I just had to tell somebody and this was the only place I could think to do it. Even if nobody reads this, I guess it did feel good to write it all out. Thank you. <3

(If I do post here again, can I be 👓📗 anon?)

🫂 /nf

[our-multigender-experience]

sometimes i genuinely forget i'm not cis / trans both ways. like sometimes i will think something like, "as a cis man, i..." qnd have to pause and go, "no, wait, i'm not amab. im not a cis man." and other times i'll think of myself as a trans woman and have to remind myself im trans and a woman and a woman in a trans way, but im not a trans woman. it makes me feel a little guilty sometimes, but it makes me less dysphoric more of the time (my body is a man's body and it's a woman's body and genderless. because that is how it is) so i've given up trying to change how i think 👍

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[our-multigender-experience]

Happy international women's day to multigender women & especially women who are also men! Being multigender doesn't take away from your womanhood and you rock

[our-multigender-experience]

Hey, can I ask a question about people with a different experience than me? For people who are both men and women and have an orientation that isn't attraction to all genders or no genders, how do you label it? Do you feel like you're gay, straight, both, or something else?

[throwing this out to any followers who experience this]