#our multigender experience

[our-multigender-experience]

A big part of my personal multigender experience is also embracing being unlabeled and not worrying too much about what exact genders I am!!

it feels like to me there's an assumption (at least in general trans spaces) when talking about multigender people, that we have each and every individual gender we experience labeled. But, trust me when I say that doesn't have to be the case if you personally don't vibe with that :)

[thehealingsystem]

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces.

You...are aware that people who are both men and women are allowed to be gay, right? And lesbian? Their other genders doesn't cancel their connection to womanhood, or manhood, or whatever else they id with. They are allowed to be gay despite their fem-alignment, and they are allowed to be lesbian despite their masc-alignment.

It comes from these weird online spaces that the standard to be gay or lesbian is to be a "non-woman" or a "non-man," which is inherently transmultiphobic and...extremely ahistorical. And completely misunderstands nonbinary identity. So if you're both then you just don't belong anywhere I suppose.

[our-lesboy-experience]

it's kinda sad that the label lesboy has been shit on a lot, because it's such a cute and fun label that can mean so many different things. it could mean being a tomboy, being butch, multigender, genderfluid, using he/him pronouns, an expression of transmasculinity, a collective system identity, being cusper, a boydyke, ftm, reclaiming the word boy for yourself, and so, so many other reasons. binary masculine cishet manhood isn't the only manhood to exist, and if people were more accepting, I would be louder and prouder to call myself a lesboy. it's a beautiful identity

[our-sapphic-experience]

I’m AMAB and genderfluid, so I exist on the very edge of lesbian spaces, not wanting to intrude especially since half the time I don’t even feel like I belong. At a glance one could easily mistake me for a cishet man. I’ve seen things said against the presence of multigender people in lesbian spaces too which isn’t encouraging.

I’m forced to ask myself: is this even a label I want to use, since it’s a community I can’t participate in?

being a multigender lesbian is really fucking hard 🫂 there are many people out there who want you in lesbian spaces, and this blog hopefully feels safe for you. stay strong my friend

[fleapit]

I think there may be terfs coming out of the woodwork trying to turn trans people against each other. I've seen several terf posts within the past 24 hours trying to make it seem like transfems want to control transmasc, but the posts are always worded in that terf-y way that just reeks of pure transphobia.

Now, whether people are genuinely failing to read between the lines of flowery "progressive" sounding language? That's another story altogether.

Tldr stealth terfs are proving that no one is immune to propaganda

no genuinely. like when there was that anon going around sending transfems really vile messages claiming to be a trans man but it was really, really obviously a terf sending ragebait.

my opinion on the matter is, words like transmisogyny and transandrophobia should, can, and HAVE TO exist at the same time to describe our unique experiences. but its also very very important to remember that both of those overlap with eachother, theres not this huge solid wall between them and every trans person's experience is completely unique to them.

i dont think its useful to act like there are these boxes that oppression fits into that covers these broad categories while ignoring things like intersectionality and the basic fact that when someone is being transphobic, they dont try and puzzle out if youre ftm or mtf or transneutral or whatever, they just guess and attack you from there. its so ingrained in society its an automatic response for most of these people. it doesnt matter what kind of trans we are, we are 'othered' and treated as such.

conversations on who has it worse, or this concept that invisibility over hypersexualization is safer/inherent to your agab, it's all unproductive. it's a waste of time. they want to kill all of us.

they are trying to divide us so that we go nuts fighting with eachother and not them, and it's working. we know this is what they're doing because they openly post about doing so. we cannot let them win. we cannot break solidarity with eachother. we deserve better than that. we do.

[fiapple]

i just think it would be cool to see multigender people represented in discussions of gender politics more frequently, which is to say more than never.

the same goes for discussions of art, sexuality, the trans experience, the nonbinary experience more specifically, representation in media, so on & so forth. i just think it would be cool if the community didn’t treat us like a phase or non-entity.

[it-is-only-a-novel]

Our X experience blogs master post

There are a bunch of our-_-experince blogs that are totally awesome, and I haven't seen a master post yet. So here goes, in no particular order:

our-queer-experience

our-abinary-experience

our-nonbinary-experience

our-genderqueer-experience

our-genderfluid-experience

our-aroace-experience

our-transmasculine-experience

our-transfeminine-experience

@our-maverique-experience

@our-sapphic-experience

@transsexual-experiences

@our-bigender-experience

@our-genderflux-experience

@our-multigender-experience

@our-mspec-experience

@our-asexual-experience

@our-transhet-experience

@our-transgender-experiences

@our-xenogender-experience

@our-unlabelled-experience

@our-mlm-experience

@our-t4t-experience

@our-bisexual-experience

@our-aromantic-experience

@our-queerplatonic-experience

@our-demiboy-experience

@our-outherly-experience

@our-lgbtq-brazilian-experience

@our-questioning-experience

@our-abro-experience

@our-pansexual-experience

@our-afab-transfem-experience

@our-polyamorous-experience

@our-boyflux-experience

@our-voidpunk-experience

@our-agender-experience

@our-aplatonic-experience

@our-butch-experience

@our-futch-experience

@our-femme-experience

@our-androgyne-experience

@our-demigirl-experience

@our-loveless-experience

@our-gnc-experience

@our-gay-experience

@our-neurogender-experience

@our-lesbian-experience

@our-otherkin-experience

@our-amicus-experience

@our-fictionkin-experience

@our-ambiamorous-experience

@our-sapphillean-experience

@our-trans-youth-experience

@our-aspec-experience

@our-greyromantic-experience

@our-oriented-aroace-experience

@transfem-experience

I know I've missed some, and new ones will probably pop up. So tag them in the comments/reblogs, and I'll update the post.

I used this post to help me out.

There's a maximum amount of blogs I can tag. As more blogs are added I'll untag earlier ones and leave a link to them instead.

Update: 12/4/2024

I recommend you check that you're rebloging the most updated version.

[rompetrizas]

This kinda goes hand in hand with the last two posts I reblogged, but is it just me or does any other bigender or multigender person feel weird that people in gender discussions rarely remember we exist and when one of us talks about our experiences as like someone who's both male and female the response is always OMG your gender is so complex you are playing like 5d chess haha I bet everybody's so confused by you even I'm confused hahah .. like sorry but knowing that your brain breaks at the thought of someone being bigender doesn't make me feel special it just makes me feel isolated and like something to be ogled at lol

[our-multigender-experience]

im bigender (m+f) and i cant help but feel really lonely. all my close friends and partners are trans, but theyre either binary trans or nonbinary with a definite lean to one side or the other

i dont really know how to be me or express myself in a way that makes me comfortable within the constraits i have, but theres noone to teach me either. i dont have a mentor within the community because,, im the only one like me that i know

.

[transmascissues]

building off of this post, people love to say that “trans men want to keep going into in women’s spaces after they transition because they just want to have the best of both worlds!” but in my experience, there are four main reasons that a trans man might use a “women’s space” after they transition:

it’s an important resource that’s being arbitrarily gendered and we need to use it regardless of which gender is “supposed to” be using it.

it’s a public facility where we’d be significantly less safe in the men’s version and we have to choose our safety over our desire to not be misgendered.

it’s a social space that we’ve been in since before we transitioned and we don’t want to suddenly be cut off from our friends and support system.

the trans man in question is multigender and is also a woman, or maintains some other kind of connection to womanhood alongside their manhood.

do any of those sound like “evil men rubbing our dirty little hands together making plans for how we’re going to get male privilege without losing access to women’s spaces” to you? they sure don’t to me!

i think it’s pretty reasonable that we want to transition without losing the ability to access the resources we need, keep ourselves safe, keep up the relationships we’ve built, and express all facets of who we are. all of those are really, like, pretty basic parts of having good life and we shouldn’t be expected to give them up when we transition.

and honestly, if you claim to care about trans people, you should not be so attached to the gendering of these spaces that you’re willing to deny trans men those things for the sake of upholding gender restrictions. anyone who prioritizes the sanctity of gender segregated spaces over the safety, health, and well-being of trans men is a fucking transphobe. (yes, even if you’re trans yourself.)

and that’s what really gets me about all of this — the vehemence with which people are willing to defend those spaces being entirely and inflexibly gendered, despite how enforcement of gendered spaces has hurt trans people time and time again. gendered spaces have literally always been set up in ways that force trans people to break the rules; some trans men might break those rules in ways that don’t make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for us to do so! it just means you might feel weird about it and that’s okay, discomfort won’t kill you.

“but using women’s spaces after transitioning to male defeats the purpose of transitioning! the whole point of transitioning is to be able to live as a man!”

and who are you to tell trans men what the point of our transitions should be? what if the purpose of us transitioning is just to live the happiest and most fulfilled life possible, and forcing ourselves into unsafe spaces or denying ourselves access to important resources or cutting ourselves off from important people in our lives or pushing down the more complex parts of our genders would “defeat the purpose of transitioning” for us? what if being able to go where cis men go is just one part of a much bigger journey, not the end goal?

if you really want to talk about “defeating the purpose,” let’s talk about how policing which gendered spaces trans men can access defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from policing which gendered spaces trans people can access, because it allows the policing of trans people in gendered spaces to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether. let’s talk about how using “evil men invading women’s spaces” rhetoric against trans men defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from using it against trans women, because it allows the rhetoric to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether.

the point of saying “let people decide which gendered space is right for them” isn’t to make sure everyone uses the one aligned with their “true gender,” it’s to let people do what’s best for them without punishing them for their choice. sometimes the best choice is one that seems wrong from the outside, and you need to learn to live with that.

i just think we as a community need to be more hostile toward people who think upholding the sanctity of a gendered space is more important than giving trans people the freedom to move through the world without being punished for existing in those gendered spaces. that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous and it’s weird as hell that some of y’all are so comfortable with it being directed at us.

moral of the story: stop giving so much of a shit about where a trans man decides to piss or see a doctor or hang out or whatever else. even if you think he doesn’t belong there, he probably has a good reason to be there anyway, and that reason is frankly none of your damn business.

[our-lesboy-experience]

hey shoutout to lesboys who identify as such for ANY reason

to lesboys who are tomboys

to lesboys who use the term as an expression of masculinity

to lesboys who enjoy being called terms like boy, man, etc. whose gender still isn't man

to lesboys who's system uses it as a collective identity

to lesboys who are butch and/or transmasc

to lesboys who are genderfluid, bigender, multigender, and loves using the term to express both their orientation and multigender identity

to lesboys who are ftm

to lesboys who are trans men and still feel connected to lesbian identity

to lesboys who are openly and unashamedly men

you shouldn't have to change yourself or become more palatable to people who only conditionally accept you. you deserve to present yourself however you like and it doesn't matter if other people feel offended by it. a bigoted person feeling hurt about you expressing yourself in a way they don't like is not a tangible form of hurt

[moonshinedyke]

I'm on my knees begging perisex trans people to just be normal about intersex people for once and to stop throwing us under the bus with your activism.

We are not "hermaphrodites." Hermaphrodite is a slur in the context of intersex people.

We are not your transition goals, stop fetishizing us or talking about wanting to "transition to be intersex." It's okay to want to transition to mixed genitalia, but the correct terms for that are things like 'altersex' and 'salmacian.' Intersex is something that you are born with, not that you transition to.

We are not your gotchas for arguments against transphobes.

Intersex animals are not nonbinary icons just because of their sex.

Not all of us are multigender or nonbinary and not all of us are cisgender. Again, our experience is incredibly diverse. Some of us are cis, some of us are trans, some of us are multigender, some of us are nonbinary, and so on.

Intersex children can and often do get forced sex reassignment surgery. Stop erasing the abuse of intersex children when you're trying to argue against transphobes. (eg. "No kid is being forced to change their sex.")

Stop ignoring the way that right-wingers target intersex people ALONGSIDE trans people. We're not poor little cis people that just happen to also be affected- we're being directly targeted alongside trans people. They see us as a threat just as they see trans people as a threat.

Edit to add this in regards to the most recent tide of intersexist bullshit on this site: AFAB intersex people can be transfem. AMAB intersex people can be transmasc. Stop using terms coined by intersex people to explain our experiences against us. Stop using our language to gatekeep our identities when you have no clue what our experiences are.

This post is about intersex people. Do NOT derail this post to talk about perisex people.

[genderkoolaid]

n e ways i never wanna hear monogender peoples takes on how multigender people define our sexualities ever again. idc if it doesn't make sense to you! it doesn't have to! the experience of having multiple genders and trying to navigate how that impacts your sexuality and how you interact with gendered communities is something complex and personal. & it is not made any easier when you are constantly being harassed for identifying with anything that is too gendered. its just transphobia & exorsexism at the end of the day: we're not allowed to be gays or lesbians because we aren't real men or women because we aren't monogender. our genders break the binary a little too much & make y'all uncomfortable.

[the-genderflux-experience]

Master list of all the "our __ experience" lgbtq+ blogs

These are all the active and inclusive/friendly queer blogs I could find. If I listed any that are exclusionist or otherwise bad or are just inactive, please let me know so I can remove them. This list is intended to help queer people find active and inviting communities to participate in and feel safe in. If you know more feel free to add them in the reblogs and/or tell me them so I can add them. Please spread this around, I worked very hard on compiling this list, and this may help people find the community for them here on Tumblr.

🏳️‍🌈 Overall community

@our-queer-experience

@our-lgbtq-brazilian-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Aromantic and/or asexual

@aroacesafeplaceforall

@our-arospec-experience

@our-asexual-experience

@our-oriented-aroace-experience

@our-aroace-experience

@unionize-aromantically

@our-demiromantic-experience

@our-demian-experience

@our-amicus-experience

@our-grey-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Gay/lesbian

@our-lesbian-experience

@our-gay-experience

@our-lesboy-experience

@our-gaybian-experience

@our-mlm-experience

@our-sapphic-experience

@our-achillean-experience

@our-butch-experience

@our-sapphillean-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Transgender

@our-transgender-experiences

@transsexual-experiences

@our-transfeminine-experience

@our-transmasculine-experience

@our-trans-youth-experience

@our-trans-punk-experience

@our-transhet-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Genderfluid (and related)

@our-genderfluid-experience

@the-genderflux-experience

@our-boyflux-experience

@our-genderfawn-experience

@our-genderfae-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Demigender

@our-demigirl-experience

@our-demiboy-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Agender

@our-agender-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Multigender

@our-multigender-experience

@your-bigender-big-brother

@yourbigendergremlet

🏳️‍🌈 Nonbinary

@our-nonbinary-experience

@our-genderqueer-experience

@our-androgyne-experience

@our-abinary-experience

@our-maverique-experience

🏳️‍🌈 More sexualities

@our-pansexual-experience

@our-bisexual-experience

@our-mspec-experience

🏳️‍🌈Polyamory (and related)

@our-polyamorous-experience

@our-ambiamorous-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Neurodivergence

@our-neuroqueer-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Other/random

@our-queerplatonic-experience

@gender-envy-is

@our-unlabelled-experience

@our-xenogender-experience

@our-questioning-experience

@our-outherly-experience

[lumberjackloverboy-moved]

reminder this pride that multigender people exist and genderfuckery is an essential part of our community, and that sexuality and gender have never been simply cut, binary experiences