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overthinkersguidetotheunive-blog · 7 years

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life is a verb/50 lessons learned

1. Life is not a gift we simply receive. It is like a bicycle. We must learn to ride it and enjoy collecting miles or else it will simply lay abandoned collecting dust.

2. Mirrors are our worst enemies. We cannot ever see past our appearances, while our essence is what we must truly see. Close your eyes and turn inward. See whats inside not outside first. Then you never need a mirror. You look fabulous anyways.

3. Drink water. You’ll feel better. Eat enough. Starving and leaving yourself hungry is not natural. Weight loss or a pair of jeans does not define you. How you take care of yourself does. Teach people how to treat you by first treating yourself with the same kindness you seek.

4. Self care is not selfish, it is necessary. Selflessness is not possible if you cannot even go the extra mile for you. Do the face mask, take the nap, eat the cookie, see that counselor, check in with your doctor, call home.

5. Do not love someone so much that they have control over your emotions and state of mind. Do not let them do the same with you either. Love is honest. Love is protecting truth and reality in order to benefit each others individual futures before dreaming of your own together. Do not ever become a runaway train with love. Friends either.

6. Speak up if something does not feel right. Your intuition is usually right.

7. Truth hurts sometimes. Take a deep breath. Get a cup of coffee. Go on a walk. Let the sting fade and then approach the situation with a clear head. You will hurt more people if you explode outwards immediately. Soak it in even though it burns.

8. Always think of the other side of the fence. You are not always right. You do have to hear other people. Your perception is one of many.

9. Do not let nervousness or anxiety talk you out of a situation. Sometimes it pays you to go dancing with your friends or to go out of your comfort zone even though its scary. Have fun. It is not a sin.

10. Masks are for Halloween parties, not emotions. Admit when you are feeling down. People who love you will support you. Not everyone is at their 100 percent all the time. Its real and human to feel off.

11. If you really love someone, it does not go away overnight. Heali after a heartbreak in ways that are best for you and go at your own pace. If that means going on a date in a week or focusing on yourself for awhile - so be it! No one writes a timetable for you but YOU!

12. Moms like when you tell them they have been good moms. Dads like when you do for them it too.

13. Cry. Alone, in the public, in the movies, when songs come on. Happy tears. Sad tears. Emotional tears. If they want to come say hello- let them.

14. People change. Do not hold them to their past standards in the present. Grow up together, not against.

15. Teachers define what students believe of themselves. Do not give up on them even if they SEEM like they are disinterested. They do not have to like English or Math to benefit from an older and wiser role model believing in their success. AP students are not the only ones capable of great things.

16. You do not have to do what every other 20 something does for fun to enjoy your life. Seltzer water at the bar doesn't mean you can't dance like a fool and sing Nirvana covers like a superfan. Friday nights can mean early bedtime and you're still doing your 20s right. Same if you took that tequila shot and kissed that stranger. To each their own, but to all a good life.

17. Bridges freeze before roads. Certain washer fluid freezes. You always need snow tools in your car. Let your parents yell that at you repeatedly when you move up North, because something will happen that first snowy drive.

18. Being strong does not mean you are always doing NPC competitions. Being fit does not mean you're a size two. Your fitness goals are not other peoples’. You VS you is the only worthwhile competition. But fitness cures all doubts about your limits.

19. Love is scary. Infatuation is short lived. Love will hit you in the overlooked moments while other interests rests in cliches and whats easy. Abandon infatuation and cling to what seems real.

20. If you break up with someone that does not mean you have to hate them or be mean or be strangers. People are friends with their exes. It is perfectly fine.

21. Great first dates don't always make great second ones. Live in the moment. Take them piece by piece. Don't hear wedding bells because they treated you with respect.

22. Salem, MA is amazing, but learn the history too. Do not just go for the Halloween stigma.

23. Stay true to yourself even if that means being alone for awhile. You do not need an audience to guide you for everything.

24. You never know when the last time together is the last time. Do not take people or moments for granted.

25. Don’t let a kiss fool you or a fool kiss you. Do not let false flattery in your life. People who truly love and respect you will withstand the test of time, not verbal confirmation of their “loyalty”.

26. If you do not watch or like movies, do not lie to cover for that fact because people will judge you. Let em judge. Be you.

27. Listen to good music that speaks to your mind and soul. If thats Grateful Dead or Smash Mouth or Skrillex, it does not matter. Just listen to something.

28. Do not judge a book by its cover.

29. Give hugs to those who need them. Ask for them too. The human touch is a magical thing.

30. Laugh. A lot. At yourself is the best type of laugh.

31. Studying hard does not always get you an A. Your effort and quality of work gets a grade academically, but you also have to be honest with yourself. If your best got you a C thats ok! Breathe.

32. Do not judge a person by the color of their skin, the language they speak, the person they love, the gender they identify as, their pronouns, their life plans etc etc. Being open to your lived experiences and the world around you is the most informative class you could enroll in.

33. Age is a number. You can be friends with a 30 something year old and a Freshman in college. Everyone can teach you different things. Be open to it.

34. New places can remind you of old things. Old places can be rewritten as new. Do not limit yourself to past instances.

35. You can like many different things and have many different personalities. It is ok to experiment or realign yourself as you learn more and age more. Change is not a bad thing. Do not take it as an insult if someone says you have changed a lot.

36. Dance in the grocery store if a good song comes on. You never know who needed that extra laugh. Maybe it was just you. Blame it on the boogie!

37. Visit your grandparents. Family is important even if they don't always understand the situation.

38. Dementia/Alzheimer's tests your patience, but it teaches you the definition of and persistent need for love, kindness and understanding. Never forget to say I love you even when they do.

39. Finding humor in otherwise sad situations is ok. Sometimes if you do not laugh you will cry.

40. Parking meters in Boston are highly monitored. Show up early or else you'll be greeted with a nice ticket. (Brookline- I love you, but I will be taking the T from now on)

41. Saying sorry is strong. Realizing you make mistakes and owning up to them is mature.

42. If you can say it online, you can say it to someones face. Do not be petty or shady. Just own up to things or have a discussion.

43. Friendzoning is stupid. Don't ghost people or skirt the truth. Appreciate someone and understand their emotions. It is okay to want different things. Handle hearts with care. Some peoples’ are titanium while other people’s are delicate china. You never know what someone has gone through.

44. Sometimes that cashier who says “good morning!” is having a bad day. Sometimes that silent kid playing Pokemon is the sweetest soul with the funniest jokes. The man who collects your trash may share the same sports teams. Always say hello and treat people with respect despite what they may appear to be against the societal “rating chart”. Screw stereotypes. Always ask “how are you?” back.

45. If you get back with your ex 50 times over it doesn't make you a weak person. If you date someone who everyone thinks is not for you, it doesn't make you stupid. You have to be happy with who you are with, not them. True friends support your HAPPINESS, not your individual DECISIONS. If you are safe, supported and happy that is all the true ones will recognize.

46. If two of your friends fall in love, do not be selfish and prevent that from happening. Be a supportive friend at all stages and try not to be an overly invasive third wheel. They will remain your friends together, apart and all around.

47. You can lose touch and still pick up where you left off and be just as close. Connection does not mean consistent or constant contact.

48. Be proud of your friends successes just as you should be of your own. Aging creates anxiety. Just because you chose to go through more school instead of into the job market doesn't mean you’re more right/wrong or intelligent/dumb. If you have a have a ring on your left hand or if you have never been in a relationship, that does not mean you’re less of a person. If you like to wear all black and cover up or if you like to wear slinky sequin dresses it does not mean youre less of a woman or not sexy. Be yourself. Do as you please. Express your shade of awesome. The world needs it.

49. Be proud of who you are and who you have in your life. Love hard. Be smart. Read. Be aware and critical of what is popularly defined as truth. Be authentic. Let your vibe attract your tribe. Trust that everything is happening for a reason. People come into your life for one of three reasons - to teach you, to learn from you or both. Many of times that means they are a temporary presence with a permanent mark. Do not take offense to the changing paths of those around you.

50. Peace cannot happen in the world if you are waring in your mind and heart. Love yourself. Triage yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and appreciate the level you are at. We can look at where our feet have traveled and worry over where they will go. The only important place to focus your attention is where your feet are firmly planted in the current moment. Take the second to soak in the instant, take a step forward and repeat. Each place is different and you can feel different at each one. The individual places do not define you. Let the journey make you stronger with its easy downhill rolls, its falls and scrapes, its endless uphill battles and everything in between.

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