pandorafics

[pandorafics]

In Which Patton Tries to Rouse a Sleeping Bear.

(( When I say, there needs to be a break in the angst train some times. Get ready for some cute shit.

- Pandora

It had been three hours, Patton had been trying to get Virgil out of bed for class for three hours. It wasn't like Patton was trying to be mean Virgil wanted to get up earlier to study for an exam. Poor kiddo must be exhausted.

Attempt number 36 and counting Virgil finally had his eyes open. Patton looked at him with a gentle smile. " Hey storm cloud I'm gonna get you some coffee stay awake."

Patton whispered before jogging to the kitchen,Logan had made a pot a half an hour ago to wake up himself. Hopefully it was still hot.

Virgil looked around his room, vision blurry, it was way to bright for his liking. He dragged his pillow over his head. He didn't need to study anymore, not when it was this warm and comfortable.

Certainly not when he'd only fallen asleep three hours ago. Virgil relaxed into his cover abit, Then he felt the warm of hot ceramic in his hand. " Hey kiddo, come on now, it's time to wake up. The sky is awake and you should be too." Patton reminded, there was a very faint firmness to his muffled voice.

Virgil felt the pillow be tugged away and he pulled the coffee to his face. Man it felt cozy. He blinked once trying to get everything in focus. It wasn't happening.

Patton smiled as Virgil blinked taking it as a good sign. " Good job Starlight, I'll give you a few minutes to wake up. First cup rule and all. "

Virgil groaned, he didn't want to get up. And he didn't want to spill the coffee. If he didn't move his face it would be okay. He'll get up in a minute and drink his coffee and start his day like he swore to do.

That was the plan, all he had to do was get up. Get Up. Move his body out of the warmth and comfort of his bed into the harsh reality of his coming day.

The added warmth of the cup meant nothing it was there to warm him up once he sat up. Once he sat up.

Which he never did.

10 minutes later he was jarred from his sleep by a shrill, " Virgil!" The anxious man flew up in a haze. What happened? Who died?

" I'm up! I'm up! Is everything okay? " Virge asked wondering why the side of his head was soaked. Had he drooled? Man that must have been a good sleep.

" Where is your coffee?"

" What coffee?" There was some glancing around. Before seeing it, the coffee cup wedged between the wall and the pillow where his head had been. With a sigh he picked up the cup.

" ...I thought I had finally gotten you up.." The father hung his head pinching the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses.

"Its cool, one minute, more?" Virge said drowsily as he climbed out of bed. Offering the cup to his friend who laughed softly before going to bring a fresh cup.

Virgil started cleaning the small spill up wondering, how long did he cuddle the cup?

[pandorafics]

Sick Jealous Logan

" If you mention him one more time I may impale myself with this spoon" Did he just say that? Logan looked at the spoon in his hand. He didn't think about what he said before he said it.

" Who, Patton?" His nerves lit up on fire but he sighed, Logan felt the burn in his chest from the way Virgil simply said his name, like he was being reverent of Patton like he was the savior.

" Yes, does he have to be the main component in all of our conversations?" Logan held the phone closer to his ear. Hoping maybe Virgil would get it.

" I'm slipping Virgil, we have hardly talked in weeks and it is all about how great Patton is. I can't even talk to you. Listen please. "

"I miss conversations being you and I, I want to catch up." Logan said instead, he didn't want to hurt Virgil, meant to much.

" Your his friend too, Lo. 1I only meant the only thing I'd meant was if I'd never left Pat. I wouldn't have been with Janus. So it's the only thing I'd change about high school."

" Please I can't do this anymore I need you. You're my best friend help me please. HELP-"

" I understand, I'm sorry for overreacting. How long do you have?"

" I have to go in in a minute. So, why the sudden call Lo? It's three am?"

" I need your help!"

" I simply missed your conversation, i wanted to touch base." Logan felt pain bursting behind his eyes and he didn't know if it was the tears or exhaustion. He couldn't keep doing this. He put his spoon down and pulled his knees to his chest. Coughing into his knees as quietly as possible. There was a blanket wrapped around his thin shoulders.

"Okay, cool I guess, but i have to get back before breakfast rush."

" I love you! Wait!"

" I'm sorry to have interrupted, I'll speak to you later." Logan whispered looking at the bundle of petals and blood bundled in the blankets between his knees.

" Later Lo, maybe we can hang out soon. It's been months." His tone felt so cold, gripping his throat in the icy fingers of death.

" Don't go."

"Sounds satisfactory. "

"Don't go!"

"Cool, next time Lo." Before Logan could stretch the conversation any further the phone went dead in his ear.

Logan cried into his knees thinking of all the years he loved Virgil, how they'd grown up together. And how they didn't date to not ruin something great.

Virgil giving him a pedicure while he read.

Logan making late night picnics when his friend couldn't sleep. Only for them to both fall asleep under the stars curled up together.

"You have to let go Logan... It's killing you" His roommate muttered wrapping the blanket closure around Logan's shoulders before running a hand through his hair.

"Then it will, Ro." Logan whispered into his knees coughing more Violets into his knees.

[pandorafics]

Reblog if you're a fanfic writer and you wanna know what your followers' favorite story of yours is ❤

[pandorafics]

If There's No Laughter

(( Well more angst for the soul. On where Logan tries to change his image to be less of a joke and it backfires horribly.

Tw: repression, conflict, self loathing

There is a saying that if there is no laughter there is only tears. Something Logan only heard in passing. He had resented the phrase at first. Logan wasn't laughing, how could he laugh when he was the joke. But he wasn't crying about it. That was for sure.

If Logan cried he would only be seen as weak, an even bigger joke. A disgrace to his namesake. Logic. He is logic, rational cool, calculating.

And he was crying over the sink in his bathroom. His disgust at himself only making his body quake more. Logan hated this, he hated he couldn't keep himself in control. Then he remembered, laughter. If he could make himself laugh at the times he hurt the most maybe he could rebuild his image.

The teacher who wasn't disheartened by his students selecting ignorance, but amused by their naive behavior. A soft laugh instead of a disillusioned sigh. Being available instead of hiding away. Besides Thomas was an actor, Logan was a part of Thomas. How hard could it be.

Logan had been doing so much better lately. He was laughing more, and joining in on group activities way more. Well way more than he used to. Patton was so proud, his friend digging his heels in and just not giving up. Even though Roman absolutely detested Logan's new behavior. ' It is Patronizing Padre'

Patton had tried really hard to get Roman, to ease up. That Logan was finally letting himself be himself again and that he was not to ruin it. Even when Roman said harsh words to Logan about his behavior, Logan would only laugh a little harder. Only to politely tell Roman that it was amusing that Roman was always so fickle.

Janus had to stay away from Logan. It was too hard. Every laugh echoed as a cry in his ears that No one else was hearing. The harder Logan laughed the harsher the sobs rung in his ears.

Janus was almost glad he didn't stay in the light side commons, it would have been too much. He confided only in Remus he was the only one who'd listen. After all Patton wouldn't hear it since Logan was doing so well.

Remus watched Logan closely, all the harsh words his twin spewed, how Virgil joined in feeling patronized, how Thomas seemed offended by the tone Logan was taking. How Logan spoke lightheartedly. Even when they all started to hate him.

Knowing Logan was trying not to cry was the hardest part. His laughter was growing less light and more exaggerated. Like he was about to fall into a fit of giggles at any inane suggestions.

Knowing it was cries, and sobs that were begging to be heard.

It came to a head while filming, it was something they hadn't done in a while because of 'creative differences'.

The topic being Thomas pretending to approve of a video Joan was making even though Thomas felt Joan would receive backlash with how much attention people were paying to the content they consumed.

Logan was laughing at something Roman had said about supporting his friends. No matter what. "So you'd support Joan even if it went against every fiber of your existence?"

"Yes I would, what of it? What do you know of support teach?" Another laugh, and Roman lost it, "What is so funny slogan, can't fathom what support is?"

Logan had been acting for so long,staying strong for so long. He just stopped. His entire mainframe froze. He didn't know what support was. These people don't support anything about him.

They HATE him.

" Well I go against you, do you support me, Princey?" Logan shot back at Roman in frustration. Thomas shouldn't support something he knew would cause his friend harm. It was not right to lie to Jo-

" No I don't support you." It proved the point Logan was trying to make. However it hurt something way deeper than Logan was able to handle. His laughter was jarring in that moment, unsettling.

It was hysterical, and booming, the five others in the room just stared and Janus tried not to hold his ears. Roman looked so offended. " Is it a joke then?! Knowing you are so intolerable I couldn't give up the opportunity to say it?"

The sob that followed silenced everyone even though there was a moment of relief for Janus. The logical figure's shoulders slumped quaking like a 5.0 earthquake. As months or repression came forward.

Patton looked realizing how wrong he was. How could Logan hide so long? Janus was right and he had never been so wrong.

" Logan I-" the logical side sank out in a haste, ignoring Patton's words. Logan hadn't prepared for hatred. Now he would.

" I tried to tell you, morality. " Janus said softly before sinking out maybe he should talk to Logan, not the light sides.

[pandorafics]

A College Bartender au part 2

(( I still can't think of a name. The prequel, part one and now part two. No name. Nice. Should be able to find the prequel and part one on @pandorafics. Enjoy. @sk-1522

CW/TW: PTSD related nightmare graphics imagery in nightmare, panic attack. All which can be skipped by going to the '••°°'

-Pandora

Deep dark water pulling him down further and further underwater.  His arms struggling to swim towards the surface. Where were his glasses? Oh no. Momma was going to be so mad!  He can't breath oh no. No no no! Air! He needs air! ‘ Did you know an American dies on average every twelve seconds?’

    ... Twelve seconds

    ... Twelve seconds

    'Logan, do something! Anything! She isn't coming! She never comes!'   Logan kicked up towards the surface when he felt a familiar sting on his face. ‘ I see no point in keeping it from you when you love facts so much.’ A sharp pull downward, that was when he saw her, latched onto his ankle sinking him further below. She was screeching at him blood muddling the water around them from the hole in her head.

 “Logan!”

 ‘ Let go of me!’

 “LOGAN! “

  ‘ What do you want from me! What!’

 “LOGAN ANTARES-”

   “ -Croft? Mr. Croft?” Mr. Noctal questioned. Logan shot up out of his seat abandoning his belongings to go into the hall.   He held the scar on his cheek, rubbing it gently with his fingers. His breathing fast and heavy but it didn't feel right. Nothing felt right.  This was wrong, so wrong, he had been doing so well.

   He felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked away looking at the person who touched him. Tobias Noctal (or Toby as he preferred to be called) started back in concern. “ Maybe you should go to see Dr. Picani.”

   “ No.”  He shook his head, an accent on his statement but too breathless to explain. Toby frowned, he didn't want to see his students go through this.

   “ Log-”

   “ Go.” He huffed leaning against the wall he felt her hand still on his ankle he was trying to think but all he could think about was his mother on a slab in the morgue. And the note she had left behind.   His head hung low. It's been years since she died why is he still feeling this way.

    “ Logan whatever you're thinking about, I need you to focus on me.  I am going to count to four I want you to breathe in, hold for seven while I count it out, then I'll count out eight as you exhale.” Tobias didn't give Logan the chance to counter and just started the counting exercise. Normally the counting exercise made it worse.  But to hear the numbers from someone else mouth was a comfort.

••°°

   It took a few times before Logan was able to breathe normally. Once he could, he straightened his tie and looked at his teacher. “ Thanks, professor Noctal.”

  “ It's Toby, but whatever, go home and get some rest. The lecture is going over pages 45-76.  If you feel better before the next lecture, look it over, if not, shoot me an email.” The professor held out Logans previously forsaken belongings.  Logan simply nods, takes his bag and walks home.

    He walked back to his apartment with head hung low,  that little outburst frustrated him. Logan had maintained a professional cool demeanor, an air of wisdom for years. He has kept himself together all on his own for years. Only to become a joke in one minute.   Now all he could do is build it all back up.

    He shut the door quietly behind him as he entered his home. It was a one bedroom apartment with an open layout.  The island in the kitchen set up with his bartending supplies to properly tutor Virgil. Who he could hear snoring in his bed in the other room.

      Virgil had been fast friends with Logan since the day they met.  A nineteen-year-old who had come to the ‘Twist up’ looking for work just as Logan had himself.  It was Logan who had asked Remy if they would make the exception. Remy agreed on a set of conditions, Logan had to make sure the kid was trained, that the kid didn't start drinking till he was off clock and off-premise, and it could not interfere with Virgil’s education or health.  Also, he was not allowed to work dance night.

     Logan had explained and Virgil agreed, curious what dance night was but willing to let it go.  Just like that. Logan was now an older brother. Constantly training Virgil, helping him with his school work and basically letting him come stay with him because his roommate was (as Virgil put it) extra.   He didn't mind it, and so far Remy was impressed.

    In exhaustion, he flopped onto the bed and curled up on his side facing away from Virgil.  On top of the blankets, still in his clothes from the day, in shoes and all. And passed out. Virgil woke up looked at Logan over his shoulder and went back to sleep understanding a bad day when he saw one.

12:45

   A knock on the door woke both young men.  Logan groaned as he stood fixing his tie. “ Virgil, could you make coffee?  I'll go see who it is.” Virgil grunted climbing out of bed. Virgil is typical subhuman upon waking, he has been forever.  The nineteen-year-old slumped himself to the coffee pot as Logan slicked back his hair and opened the door to see the grin, that damn smile, attached to that beautiful face.

    “ Ahh, salutations, are you prepared to study?  Pardon me I don't believe I caught your name earlier.”  He pushed his glasses up the slant of his nose.

    “ Roman, Roman Knightly it is wonderful to see you, Logan. Yes! Studying, that is definitely why...I’m here.” Roman’s head tilted to the ground for a moment to hide his face Logan turned to lead the other inside.  

   Roman stayed still for a moment, that was Logan but he didn't seem quite him.  He seemed tired and rigid and trying to keep up this composure. Where was that little boy who smiled waking up on the sandbank of The Bys Bay? Roman walked in slowly looking around to see a particularly neat apartment.

Except for the extensive amount of liquor set up on the counter.

[pandorafics]

An Encounter After the End

(( Hey! New blurb fic, gonna reblog to @pandorafics for easy access. I had alot of feelings and alot of angst [not surprising-I have a stockpile of that] hope you all like it. If not that's cool too :)

-Pandora

Tw: conflict

Word count: 582

       " It was an absolute catastrophe you guys, where were you!" Roman moaned as he entered into the commons. Logan reading an Agatha Christie novel on the sofa, Virgil looking at his phone on the other end. Neither looked up. However, Virgil answered the huffing prince. 

       " Well I needed to have a break,  that wedding was stressful and I would have complicated things."  Virgil said calmly, eyes still locked on his phone. He set a hand on Logan's calf. " And he was there, remember? He has always been to a degree."

       "Lot of good that did. Did you see the way they turned on me? It was like I was the bad guy. " 

        "Oh no you poor misunderstood creature." Virgil remarked, his eyes rolling to look at Roman.

" They didn't listen to me."

        "I'm sorry, how could we, mere plebs, even begin to understand how that feels." Logan grit through his teeth while the shut his book. " How could we ever understand being tossed to the side at every opportunity when our goal was only in Thomas' best interest?"

        " You weren't tossed aside Logan! You said yourself you don't work with regrets!" 

       " Right, I guess this is another benched trial for your sub-astute teacher then? Or perhaps all my dialog should be optional so you and Patton can frivolously choose ignorance. Since that is easier to handle then being rail-roaded in person." Logan shook his head, he was trying to keep his patience. It was getting harder to do so.  

       Ro gave an indignant huff, " If your delivery wasn't so dry maybe we could listen to you."  He threw his hands up in the air. " I really don't know what to say to you Logan!  This is a children's show, nobody is going to remember your curve boys or mustache m-" 

       " That's enough Roman." Virgil clipped Roman tilted his head as he walked. to sit on the back of the couch. 

       "I'm not lying! He can't get mad at us for not listening when he isn't explaining in a captivating way! It's not our fault that he is boring!" 

       Logan shoved Roman off the couch before he stood. Long legs carried him briskly toward the stairs. His face turned away from the pair. His gaze cast down on the floor.  " For...For someone... who is... supposed to be the hero, you fail to discern your allies from your foes, Pincey." 

      Roman sat on the floor, all he could do is stare at Logan's figure as it climbed the first step.

      "Why do you think, I said, I'd spare you all my company."  Logan spoke coldly though the strain in his voice was hard to mask.  He walked up the flight of stairs as the air in the living room grew thick.

      Virgil was the first to break the silence, "We are all a part of Thomas. You need to remember that." 

       "I, I'm sorry Virgil I-" 

       " You don't have to apologize to me,you need to stop being an asshole when people don't agree with you. We are all different." Virgil muttered before he also went up the stairs

       Roman sat in silence on the floor, tears built in his eyes as he felt the second assault rain down on him.  He tucked his knees to his chest and simply stared, silent tears down his face. 

    He couldn't believe that the man who once greeted him eagerly, in the very beginning for Thomas.  Walked away from him in the very end, for the same reason. 

[pandorafics]

Why Logan Gave Up Group Activities.

Logan hadn't wanted to go, not to the pajama movie night, nobody wanted to watch documentaries and even he was getting tired of 'Big Hero Six'. However Patton wanted it. So Patton got it. He sat through all the musicals then, 'Nightmare Before Christmas', 'Winnie the Pooh', and 'Frozen'. For good measure of course.

Logan hadn't wanted to participate in Virgil's activity either. It was just picking music from each others playlist over dinner, and writing afterward. Patton writing cute little stories, Virgil writing more mature yet still angsty poems, Roman with his love poems. Then Logan reading an academic paper he'd written.

When his choice had come around, he simply wanted to take little things, like what occurs when you mix slime, what are the chemical happening behind it, what are the psychology behind believing in cryptids, and urban legends, and for Roman he wanted to go and teach him about the psychological draw Hollywood has on society before and after moving there.

At least the nerd would have done that, if Patton hadn't gotten tired early and gone to bed. If Virgil and Roman would have stopped arguing. Or if Roman hadn't stated during the argument, " Why are you yelling at me? Patton's the one who made us come and he is the one who left early!"

So NO, no Logan absolutely did not want to participate in Roman's karaoke night.

Lo tried to get out of it, he tried really hard. From blatantly saying, "I won't go" , to trying to convince Thomas to need help babysitting his brother, asking Remy if he could call off work so he could be called in, to pretending to be sick.

Still there they were, sitting there, at the bar counter in their apartment. Each drinking, well except for Patton who hadn't chosen too. And then logan sitting at the counter drinking a tom collins with a book in his hand only there because he was forced.

Roman was still singing, but visibly irritated at Logan's lack of participation. Logan had skipped his turn everytime, even Moaning Virgil participated. Patton was getting frustrated, this was supposed to be fun. So he plucked the book from Logan's hand and closed it. Tucking the book away.

Virgil watched the other two in shock, he couldn't believe Patton took a book from Logan. Everyone of them knew better.

Just like taking coffee from Virgil, makeup from Roman, or cookies from Patton. Like the plate of chocolate chip cookies Logan had just frisbeed into dish bin of soapy water.

Roman stopped singing, like Virgil he just stared at Patton and Logan who were now staring each other down. Patton looked at Virgil and Roman, then back to Logan. He was the second person to break one of the silent rules that night. Then Patton broke one more.

"Okay," and like his plate of cookies, Patton picked up the book and threw it into the water. His eyes locked on Logan's as he did it. Logan rushed to the sink picking up the book as the pages fell from the binding. The pages had already been weak when logan got the book. He would have tried to get a better edition. However it had taken him three years to find it.

" Oh Fuck." Virgil breathed, Ro was holding his breathe. In his mind if he breathed to loud the attention would fall on him, and for once he did not want it.

Logan's eyes narrowed into a glare leveled at Patton. "You have thirty days to get out of my house. " Logan bit out through grit teeth grabbing his keys. Virgil reached and took Logan's hand,

"Come on Lo it was just a book." The dark younger man said grabbing Logan's arm.

Logan glared at Virgil not saying a word, he yanked his arm free, knocking over his Tom Collins before walking out the door. Slamming it behind him.

"....What the fuck?" Roman asked in shock.

" This... Is what happens when you force someone to participate. " Virgil muttered softly.

"What? No way Logan participated willingly every other time." Patton corrected.

"We complained about his selection in movies and music choices. Then his paper and on his turn last week you left early and Roman complained about not wanting to participate. " The words were bitter on Virgil's tongue. He fidgeted in discomfort.

" Well yeah I complained I didn't want to be there I'm not in school anymore."

" And you wanted to force him to do karaoke. You know he doesn't like to sing I would have fucking ignored you too! "

" Virgil!"

" What you want me to just... Just sit it here and let him pretend that we did nothing wrong?" Virgil snapped, he pointed at the dish bin, " We could have made fresh cookies, do you know how long it took him to find that book?"

" ....No.."

" You know better than to pull a book out of his hand. "

"And he knew not to touch my plate."

" Again we could always make more he couldn't. What were you thinking? " Virgil said softly reaching a hand out patton looked down for a moment then took a breath.

" It wasn't fair. If I had to force you two to endure his family night. He can enjoy Roman's. "

For once Virgil had to walk away, before the thought occured. Logan had been drinking all night. And he had taken his keys.

Virgil pulled his phone and called Thomas. " Thomas, can you help me find Logan? Okay, yeah, thank you, I can explain later. We fucked up."

" What are you going?"

" To find Logan, Pat,because one of us has to care." Virgil snapped, slamming the door.

// Well Hey there have some one shot Logan Angst! There was no editing. So it might be trash but better luck next time !

-Pandora

[pandorafics]

Part of My FamILY Now.

// Hiya hey! Have a fanfic about Logan angst and holiday hurt comfort. Platonic logicality. Bartender au. All that fun stuff.

-Pandora Fallen

Logan groaned staring up at the stars, if only people understood holidays were for the people with big families, and subastantial budgets. Maybe they'd cease pushing that consumeristic bullshit holiday in his direction. Maybe they wouldn't, either way he didn't plan on caring. Maybe if he wasnt drunk on a park bench in 50 degree weather on Christmas eve in a town he was new to.

There are alot of things that make people hate the holidays. Grief, loss of a job or relationship. The irritating fact people feel obligated to band together with the excuse, 'It's the holidays' , as though it will make it past December 31st before people go back to being selfish egoists. For Logan Anatares Croft. The answer is nearly all the above.

Grief, yes the loss of his mother this year had proved to be... Negative to his emotional health. Lack of friends, made him rather alone at this point. And if he heard 'All i want for Christmas' on more time he'd probably throw something at the speaker sounding off that garbage.

" Last Christmas! I gave you my heart! The very next day, you gave it away thiiis year! Save me some tears! Ill give it to someone special. Special." A chiper voice rang out. Logan looked over, a pale blue blur bouncing towards him. He groaned looking back up at the stars.

" Oh fuck off with you." Logan grit out tipping the bottle back again.

The blur stopped a moment and came closer. " Your...your that boy from math? Logan? Oh boy Logan! Where is your coat? "

The mention of his name made Logan look and try to decipher who the fuck was talking to him... The voice was cheery even tinged with worry.

Slowly, the blur adjusted in his focus to reveal sandy brown hair, circular glasses and light blue eyes. The boy from math.What was it? " Oh.. Greetings Patton."

" Season's Greetings!" The sophmore cheered, face lit up by making a pun.

" Yep. Bye!" Standing was, much harder than Logan recalled. The drunk man staggered to fall when arms wrapped around him.

" Woah! Okay I'm sorry! I am taking you home. Where do you live ?"

" Simmon's apartments." Logan conceded, it was hard to see things and his limbs felt heavy. Now that he stood he felt the liqour hitting him harder. Patton pulled out his phone carefully and looked up directions.

" Do you have anyone to call to check in on?"

" Nope a dope" Logan slurred, letting himself be guided towards his home. A comfortable silence settled between them.

Walking up the main road Patton discarded the bottle. Logan against his side, Patton humming along to Chrismas carols, Logan crying. Wait-

" Lo? Why ya feeling low buddy?" Patton whispers wrapping his arms around lo a little tighter. Logan's shoulders shake as he cries quietly, he shook his head no, now was not a talk time.

Pat nods gently bringing him home, by then the liqour had fully set in his system, and small whimpers had grown to actual tears. A sob clearing now and then.

" Logan, I need your key"

" Right ssorry ism gross, no reason to clean."Logan murmured fishing out his key and passing it to Patton. Who stared at the key a moment. No, its fine he was certain. Logan organized his notebooks by size, color, and subject.

So opening his shock as he saw a bookshelf tipped over trash can brimming with vodka bottles and full containers of take out. Broken glass on the floor, there was a water stain on the dining room table with bottles there too.

Not to mention the pile of smashed photo frames in the living room. "Oh sugar honey ice tea." Patton whispered as Logan nudged passed him. Walking to the couch to flop down on it. Only to be stopped by Pat so he wasn't throwing himself onto the glass cups on the couch.

" Come on lets get you in bed" patton said gently.

"Too much space, won' sleep." Patton but his lip. He could do it. Once lo was passed out he could slip free.

" You don't have to be alone tonight. "

" 'm always alone, no fam, friends, even Zuben gone. " Lo huffed, but gently took Pat's hand. He needed the comfort.

" I'm not going anywhere kiddo, Let's get some rest." Pat said letting him be led to the back by Logan.

His bed room was messy, not as bad. Like he gave up coming in here, like just passing out where he happened to black out at night. " Logan, Where you going to stop drinking."

" No. "

" What if you fell asleep out there? "

" ' en I did"

Patton nods clearing the bed occupied by bills and laundry. Clearly what goes on the free half of the bed.

Logan flopped onto the bed he had for himself crawling up sneakers in all . Patton settled into bed with him, Logan cuddled into him pat waited until he was asleep. Before climbing from the bed.

When Logan woke up in his bed with his shoes on he realized that Patton had left like everyone else.

He didn't blame Patton his home was disgusting, but it would have been nice. He climbed out of bed. And looked for his glasses in the folds of sheets. Nope. Huh had patton taken them off ? He looked to his nightstand. And saw a glass of water, ibuprofen , and his glasses. The smell of cookies in his apartment dawned on him slowly. "What?"

He walked out to se Patton on his couch in a cat onsie, " Take your shoes off I just mopped." Lo did as he was told noting his apartment had been cleaned.

" Why are you still here? Why did you clean my apartment. "

" It's the holiday, and your part of my family now." Patton said plainly sipping at his coco. " I don't know how to work the coffee pot,but I brought you a onsie."

"Wha- okay" Logan submits too overwhelmed by it all but it felt nice. For once.

" I found some doctor who dvds wanna settle in and watch those?"

" That sounds fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. "

[pandorafics]

A College Bartender Au

(( Well then 🙃 I'm still breaking my rules here. Psst @sk-1522. It' here. I want to thank @apologieslogan for dropping the initial idea for the fic so this is for them.

-Pandora

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Cw: I don't think so, not yet

Word count: 2,064

 “ Roman? Are you okay?” Patton finally questioned while he looked at his friend pouring over textbooks. Two empty coffee cups by the drama nerd's side. To the young baker… this was like seeing every world monument at once.  It was amazing. However, it was also frightening that it was possible.

    “No, I am dying. I have all this stuff to do, and barely any time. Mrs. Dominic is going to laugh at this exam grad, it's curtains for sure!”   Roman groaned dropping his head into the books in front of him with a sigh. Ro reached for his third coffee, he only raised his head when the cup was gripped tightly in his hand.

    “You never worried about Mrs. Dominic's class before and you typically pass. Which is impressive enough. She doesn't like anyone.”

    “Patton I have been bewitched by this handsome glasses clad fellow with a mind sharper than my sword.” Roman whined before taking a sip of his coffee, “ She actually likes him, Patton.  She is actually a human with him! I don't get it!  How! How does any one person get into a casual conversation with her? Debate with her. And then carry on as normal!”  He ranted in frustration his hands moving as he talked. However, his movements were more spastic since he was tired.

    The baker sighed his hand reached into his bag and pulled out two cookies setting them down on the napkin. The smaller man ignored the sounds of annoyance coming from others in the coffee shop. “ Logan?  He is just really smart. Mrs. Dominic has a lot of respect. For kids like him. I am sure he is not a snob just talk to him.”

    “No I will prove I am sm- oh there he is.” Roman silenced himself looking down at the multitude of books. As the nerd entered the shop placing his order.   Logan glanced around the boisterous shop before spotting an acquaintance of his, Patton (he hoped), gently patting the back of another student appearing to try and study.  

    Trying was the keyword in Logan's mind. The man was hunched over multiple books. His hair ruffled from shoving a hand through it repeatedly.  There we two empty disposable cups by his side and one griped in tight fingers while he stared at the same spot on the page from only inches away.  That settled it.

   “Greetings Patton, how are you today?”  Logan questioned as he walked over. He had time before his order was completed. Patton smiled at his friend waving.

    “Hi, Logan! I’m doing pretty good, what about you? “

    “Satisfactory, unlike your friend it seems, anything I can assist with?” Logan remarked in a seemingly neutral tone.  

    “I am fine!” Roman protested, in an offended tone. Logan hummed looking at the page he was trying to study, and then looked up to meet the brown eyes that were narrowed in a glare at him.

    “You're failing to study correct?” Logan said his blue eyes narrowed at the stubbornness of the other.

    “Logan, please. Just let him focus. This is important to him.”  Patton interjected looking between his two friends.

    “This is actually very important to me and I have it under control,” Roman added with a huff.

    “Then how about this. I'll ask a question answer it correctly without peaking at the page in front of you and I will let it go. If you answer incorrectly. I show you how to study properly.” Logan said calmly looking at the boys in front of him.  Roman looked at the nerd, who had the balls to talk to him like that.

    “Fine ask away to teach. I have been studying for hours I got this!”

    “ Alright.” Logan pulled a notebook from his bag and opened to a blank page. He wrote ‘Long-term Memory’ at the top.

    Patton sat to the side sipping hot chocolate with a small smirk, to avoid sighing at Roman’s mistake. Like it or not this was one of Roman's worst subjects. To Patton, Roman Just let his stubbornness dictate his actions.  

    Logan drew two branches one veering left and the other veering right. The branch on the right he left a two line gap then drawing a branch going down a line. Before stopping. On the left branch, he left a two line gap drew a branch going down another two-line gape and then two more branches veering right and left.  “This is the graph at the top of the page, fill in the subdivisions of long-term memory and what falls into those categories.”

    “ Logan Croft?” The barista called out, Logan stood up and looked at Roman.

    “One moment.” The nerd said before walking away Roman looked at the paper Logan had just drawn and grumbled. His pride kept him from cheating. However, Ro struggled to remember what he had read.  

    “You have got to be kidding me. I literally have been studying this page for an hour. I should know this.” He grumbled before naming the ones he kinda thought that he knew.  He was disappointed in himself, to say the least. However Roman kept trying. This nerd was not going to strip him of his pride.  

    Not when this nerd also charmed him.  He bowed his head trying to think. It was not working. Nothing was helping.  “ So, have you finished?”

    Roman huffed as the neutral tone spoke to him again. “ I huh- no I'm not.”   

    “Right… at any rate, I have twenty minutes to get to class and will probably not be able to wait until it comes to you. Here are my address and number. If you want the help simply text me when your coming. And please get some rest. It is important if you actually want to retain any of the information you have been haphazardly gorging on. Good day.”  Logan set a piece of paper on the table. A gloved hand holding his coffee as he walked away.

    The drama kid looked at his friend with wide eyes. “What the-”

    “ One more thing?” Logan called over his shoulder looking at the pair.  Roman swallowed nervously.

    “ Yes?”  

    “ Water helps the brain function more than coffee.”  The nerd said before leaving to his class. This time Roman waited until the ding of the bell before allowing himself to give a look of sheer bewilderment.  

    “ Did that really just happen?”

    “ Yes, I am so sorry Ro, he can be a bit-”

    “ I have a study date!  And it is something he has a passion for!” Roman sang out as if the spirits had just been lifted by guardian angels. Several ‘hushs’ were hissed out at the pair. It was early enough that nobody was ready for Roman Prince's version of extra.

    “ No no no. Roman this is bad. How do you intend to focus when you're sitting less than two feet in front of him. You couldn't even manage to keep it together in the same room as him!” Patton snapped hoping his hopeless friend would see reason.

    Another hush from the people behind them had Roman packing his bag. He wanted to sing and scream from the rooftop.  These people wanted to be boring and wake up for the day. Roman understood. As for what Patton said, Roman could only sigh. “ Patton I will take care of this don't worry.  I need to go, rest, bathe, and rejuvenate!” Roman standing as he adjusted his bag and moved to walk out the door.

    “Roman. His number. “ Patton sighed holding out the paper Logan had left behind.

   “ Oh, right, thanks,”  Roman stated rubbing the back of his neck. He walked back and accepted the napkin. The grin on his face so wide Patton thought the skin would tear.  

    Patton put on a smile, “No problem kiddo just try not to upset your roommate again.”  

    “Surly Temple will be fine. He is used to my antics that is if he is even there. The grouch usually leaves for work by now.”  Roman says calmly as Patton gathered up his own belongings. By the time Pat looked back up Ro had disappeared. Whatever happened, Logan better not break his friend's heart.

   Logan shook his head with a sigh as he went to class, that poor, huh, he hadn't even gotten a name.  That was… unlike him, usually, Lo would get to at least know someone before offering to help someone study. Yet, the young man seemed to be the exception. No matter. He will behave better next time. Granted coffee boy didn't think he was an asshole and never spoke to him again.  

   The twenty-year-old sighed softly when his phone buzzed twice, and then twice more, curious.  A flick of his thumb would show one text was His co-worker and friend Virgil, the other was an unknown number from presumably the coffee boy from fifteen minutes ago.  Virgil first, after all, it may be business related.

    ‘morning teach, hey we still practicing at noon? I really need to get away from the singing lunatic. He just burst in the damn door singing Queen and I can not handle it if I have work at four thirty. ‘

    Shame, Virgil was always having issues with the theater kid, and it was annoying  ‘ You have my apartment key, go rest there. Just try not to make a mess. And we will practice when I come home. Free pouring, hopefully, you won't plant me into the ground this time.  Your muddling needs work, desperately, so we will also make a pitcher of Sangria. Pop quiz: What does “with a twist” mean?’

    ‘ I'll take that as a good morning. with a twist is a ref to the garnish a piece of lemon to add flavor to the drink.’

   ‘ What is the form of lemon?’

   ‘ Lo, it is 7:43 in the morn. Lemon wedge I guess :/’

‘  “With a twist” is the addition of citrus peel used to enhance the flavor of a beverage based on the flavor profile. I will see you after class.’  

   ‘ Do you ever slow down? You just ran a 7-3am here it is 7:43 am and you're starting again? Ever hear of burnout?’

   ‘ If your free pour counts were as accurate as your astute observations of the clock. I'd be out of a tutoring job.’

    ‘ Uhh fuck you lo’

    ‘ I am not a fan of aggravated copulation rituals, therefore I am going to have to reject your… less than the kind offer.’  Logan responded a final time before walking into his first class of the day. His phone turned off and put away as the professor started the discussion with an air of expertise that Logan had always idolized. The confidence, and demanding presence.  The teacher didn't force people to pay attention to. His words were thoughtful and questioning prompting discussion from everyone while notes were written on the board.

Logan Croft loved to learn. it was his blood.

   Virgil shook his head at Logan's response, taken literally again. He had no clue if it was intentional or not at this point. However as much as it annoyed him, it was funny that Lo could be so smart, yet so dumb.  The rookie stood grabbing his bag and sauntering out of the door. Honestly, “ We Are the Champions, ” is a solid song even if it isn't his cup of coffee. However, there is a time and place dude.

   Roman undressed his eyes glancing at the scars, it was a liberating feeling.  The binding had never done his singing any good. Nevermind he was not the most cautious, but he could breathe deep now. Hold a note.  His eyes never looked below the scars, he couldn't.

      A half hour later he was in bed,  his fingers laced behind his nearly black hair.  Roman could get some rest, he had sent Logan a text that he would be at his place by 12:45. That would do for now. He could pack study supplies later.    

    Logan hadn't realized he had dozed off in class. He didn't even recall feeling particularly tired. Well at the coffee shop maybe, but the caffeine, sugar, and taurine( from an energy drink at work earlier) should have assisted him.  He was still out cold in his astrology lecture.

[pandorafics]

Belated holi-fic ( a musical au) - @apologieslogan

((@apologieslogan , you are a great strong person and god damn I came at it with excitement and I think it paid off. So without further ado. A musical au

Warnings:. Angst; major character death

Pairings: Logince

     There are no answers in this world unless they are sought after. And no answers are there if the right questions aren’t asked. That was what Logan was trying to do, find the answers. The ones that he needs.  There was not much time left, even as his studies continued, he noticed the way his handkerchief was pulled from his lips blood. Moments air would seem to escape him. If he didn’t work fast. Logan Verity was well aware his time was coming.

     The dark-haired man spent hours under an oil lamp as his eyes throbbed beneath his spectacles.  Now and then the pain would force him to step back. Another moment wasted, by Lo’s count he had wasted fifteen hours of his precious time asleep this week. He didn’t intend on wasting any more. He wanted to live.

    Too… young… to die.

   Mr. Verity understood that, however, he also knew that if he failed he would have garnered no viable evidence, and he will have spent his last few months hunkered beneath a dimming oil lamp. He would die alone and as no one of consequence.  That was something he couldn’t allow to happen.

     It couldn’t have been…all for naught

  Very slowly the tired man would go out and try to find colleagues to work with… drink with.   It didn’t hurt when the liquor hit him. When out on the leash it was seldom one walked away feeling much of anything but lust.  Except, Logan seldom felt lust or passion that didn’t come from his life’s work. Nor had he met a man, woman, or child who shared a passion for their craft.

   It was all he could do some nights. The pain in breathing, the choking seemingly endless.  It was all he could do to make the pain dissipate in the slightest. One such night, Logan thought, was when he met Roman Nightingale, a man dedicated to theater. He taught Logan something per shot. And Logan felt the bonds he had craved.   Someone well versed and dedicated in their craft.

   It was too late…to feel this way.

   Logan didn’t abide by one of the rules though, it had escaped him during his lessons with Mr. Dar- Mr. Nightingale. Words, when not conveyed through action and not spoken, can not be assumed. Logan did not want to admit that his curtain call was coming.  Ro was too happy and too dear. His Nightingale didn’t need the hindrance.

    It was coming, Logan knew the truth.  His strength passing each day. Roman no fool noticed but was able to attribute it to Logan showing ‘humanity’. A ‘humanity’ that Logan despised the weakness showing forth was not of the educated man’s volition.  The vulnerability allowed was one night.

     one night for love.

    He showed the man a night of stars, pointing out the endless span in the horizon broken only by vineyard leaves and vines.  Roman had asked what the matter was. It was the truth. Rotting love from within. Logan asked to write Roman a play. Roman agreed so disoriented questions died on his lips.   Things that needed to be asked were overwhelmed.

    It had been a first, Roman overwhelmed that someone would want to create something for him. His gratitude had overshadowed the questions. They spent the night together

    The passion, the pain, and the despair had a release. Ever since the night in the vineyard. It was what Logan needed. Even though Roman poured over the pages in agony, he was unable to piece the puzzle together.  He’d ask but no answers came from the lazy man who slept all day. And drank all night.

     The liquor wasn’t helping much anymore, though the people would say he had the tolerance of a Scotsman, it didn’t spare him the pleasant lack of alertness.  Who knew one’s own mind would begin to become one’s own cage. Logan knew, now.

    His pages went through the stages of grief, denial had come by the before the manuscript began.

    The Anger had come in through the second chapter muddled with denial. The anger had focused into passion pushing forward with no regard to self. It was the first thing that had begun to draw Roman from love. The anger was a fire so intense it struck like a forest fire.  

    It was Bargaining where Roman began to believe Lo had begun to lose his mind talk of the infuriating irony of the universe and whatnot. Talk of the cruelties of nature and the inevitable betrayal from God.  Words crazy enough Roman dove into the performance to hide. Logan alone when he ’d blackout choking and wake equally in solitude. Blacking out at the typewriter awaking with the hole in his heart groaning wider. Where was the actor who he needed him?

   Depression was only a couple of days, loss of his dear companion. Only seeing Ro come pick up the last act. Hardly any words said. It was enough.

   Enough to push him to acceptance resignation. Logan Verity knew he’d be… gone soon. So he sat down one night and with a glass of water by his side he typed out a goodbye.

   Roman was delighted the tragedy had gone off with success the crowds wept, but the standing ovation was unrivaled.  This was the show that would jumpstart his career. Though he couldn’t help but notice where the creator was supposed to be, there was only air.  It succeeded in driving the actor out of the show house. Into the streets when the affair at the theater had drawn to a close.

   The pub where they first met? Nothing. The pub owner hadn’t seen him since the day before. The concern in his chest blossomed into a panic. Logan always came to drink, it helped him ‘put his mind at ease’.   

   When Roman entered the abandoned home? He wanted to scream, Logan hadn’t been found, yet the state of the home was unsettling. Nothing was out of place, a bowl of bread crumbs out on his counter the Cages for the Blue Jay and the Cardinal open both birds looked up with timid disinterest.  And then back to the bowl of food.

    The bookshelves were lined with books and pages of research, his walls had notes pinned up, reminder, pieces of research on what Roman assumed to be for the play to make the protagonist’s illness more believable.  That was until he saw the desk littered with pages and crumpled tissues with varying amounts of aged and aging blood. “ No…” Roman whispered as the truth hit him.

    The weeks of Logan being angry, the drinking, Roman all but called him a lunatic. How could Roman be so wrong?   He looked at the desk rifling through the pages, anything at all that would help him. He had to find his scientist before it was too late.  One thing passed the truth along, reminding Roman of how thick he could be. He’d thought about it all wrong. If he were to die all alone, where would he choose to go?

    ’m with the stars, my love.

   Roman left the house in a sprint desperate to find Logan. The vineyard, the endless spans of stars that Mr. Verity loved endlessly.  A night that Roman should have spoken up during. The hints were all out there to see. Roman was blinded. By love, excitement.

   The path was dark only visible by the light of the stars roman hadn’t realized were in his partner’s eyes.  Eyes dark like the Navy blue of the night sky. Hair, soft like warm silk and the color of oak wood.

   What have I done?  

  Roman found him, curled against the trunk of a tree. The actor knelt before him taking off the coat from his costume and wrapping it around him.  “ Logan? Please wake up…”

     “ Too…young…to die.” He wheezed quietly, Ro wrapped his arms around Logan, tears rolling down his cheeks carding his fingers through the weak man’s hair.  

     “ I am so sorry Logan. I’m so sorry.”   Sobs bubble to the surface as Logan raised a hand to cup his lover’s face.   

     “ Show…good? It couldn’t have been…all for naught.”

    “ No… No, my starry knight, it was a success people will know your name for millennia to come..”  Hearts-shattering slowly as Logan tried to console his partner, a satisfied smile on his face. “ Why didn’t you tell me?”

   “ It was too late..to feel this way, my dramatic love… One night to love. I chose you. I love… you. I am bad at…at expression.  But you had a passion …for something… non-living. Fascinating. Beautiful. So-so a…amaz…amazing-”. Logan began to cough his body folding forward into Roman who wept at the situation holding Logan close.

   “ I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry..”

   “ It’s…okay… ‘m with the stars now love… and they…are..are so beautiful.”  The scientist said before his eyes rolled back in his head as he fell limp into Roman’s arms.

   “ Logan? Logan!” Roman shouted before sobbing as he carded his fingers through Logan’s hair. And leaning him back against the tree. A piece of paper crinkling beneath the actor’s knees, he gingerly picked up the paper and sat beside the body to read.

     “Roman,

   I may not have been an expressive man, may not have been a happy man by the time you met me. However, in my time writing this I will assure you. It is completely out of character. I was sick for a long while. Before I met you I spent weeks studying human anatomy in the hopes I’d cure myself.  It was a pointless venture. And as I sit here writing this goodbye I realize, I should have been enjoying my life.

   I should have gone out, I should have met you sooner. Because through all twenty years, I have never felt such strong and compelling emotions.  I wish I could have experienced it sooner. You truly made the end of my life something special. I wish I could be scattered across the stars. But it isn’t an option.

   If you would bury me here and plant a tree so that you can picnic in my protective shade. Put up a swing and sit in my arms. Watch the stars with me.

   I love you Roman and if I never say it. Know that I felt it, something deep and pure.  

   You know I got you a bird, a bird as red as your passion he is at home with my bird…  do with them as you please.

   If someone else has found this letter, then I suppose I burn as a heretic. So be it.   

   I love you, Roman.

-Logan Verity”

  “ Oh my god… what have I done.” Roman muttered. As tears streaked his face.

[pandorafics]

Holific#1 - therealhmmlingle

// Hey guys holiday gift, for a loyal follower and friend. I had a lot to fit in into a five page limit. I hope it is okay! @therealhmmlingle

Pairing: prinxiety

Word count:3,274

Trope: Finding your partner on the brink of death.

Warnings: hypothermia, panic attacks, deprecating thoughts.

    “Uh… Hey Roman?  I am gonna have to show up late tonight. Something happened at work and they need me to come in.” Virgil sighed sadly, fidgeting in discomfort with the box in his pocket. Where it had been for a few months. He had only just paid it off enough to take it with him.   

   It had cost him the heat in his apartment, if it had not been for Philip, his and Roman’s dog, he would have froze. It cost most the food he had in his apartment. He didn’t care. After all, it was December, Christmas eve.  In a few days, It would all be worth it. The late nights, early mornings,and busy weekends. It would finally all work out.

   “Virgil!” Came his partner’s sharp voice, snapping him out of his little trance.

   “I’m here! Sorry princey.” The anxious adult said with a sigh. He hadn’t realized he had spaced out.

   “Virgil I can’t do this anymore. Your never around! When you are you just sleep in my bed! We don’t talk like we used to and now you can’t even keep your promise to spend the holiday with me? Because of work? Don’t bother coming tonight. I’ll be by to pick up Philip tomorrow. What is the point in being in a relationship with someone who isn’t there?”  

   “Roman wait!”

   “Goodbye Virgil.”

   “Ro, sto-” The phone went dead in Virgil’s ear leaving the man in stunned silence.  All this time, four years. Gone. Virgil felt numbed. This couldn’t be happening. He got up and dressed. He did not work his ass off to let this entire thing fall apart. He gathered up Philip and the flowers he had purchased for Roman the night before.

     He rushed to his car his mind flooding with fear. Fears that he tried to push at bay with the stereo of the car.  Turning it up so loud he couldn’t hear his thoughts. The anxious man tossed his phone on the seat so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable in his pocket. Virgil peeled out of the parking lot from his apartment complex and  onto the back roads of the area.

     Roman’s home was a bit far,but for a man as extravagant  and popular as him, Virgil could understand him wanting his home to be a bit secluded, so he didn’t have to have a public face on when he opened the door every day. That was enough to start spiraling, things as simple as how fast Roman could move on, how Virgil could be too little too late, and he could easily be fired from his job for calling off last minute.  Virgil had sucked as a worker lately, he understood that.

     Virgil sucked at everything, he couldn’t even function as an adult. There was no food,no warmth(besides a small space heater), soon he wouldn’t have a phone again and  fuck if he knew when he would get it back if he got fired. He is a loser, and one that Roman Prince had already gotten rid of.

   There was a skid on ice as he pulled to the side of the road threw the car in park. He climbed out of the car and shoved the door shut sinking to sit on the snow below his car window.  Thoughts blurred together in a whirlwind, the rapid rise and fall of his chest fast. The beat of his heart against his ribs like a prisoner trying to escape. He realized how alone he was without Roman. It sent him reeling.

‘alonealonealone-notsafe-failure-fuckup-notsafenotsafe-broken-alone-I can’t-Ican’t- lose-losermistake-not-can’t-airairair-fuck-fault-can’t-my-alone-fail-nononono- Ro-’

    Virgil’s panic continued for a solid fifteen minutes even after he was through the worst of it he leaned against his car, counting out his breaths. It was another ten minutes after that he realized he should get back on the road.However Virgil was exhausted, and he didn’t want to move even though his jeans  were wet from the snow. Slowly he felt the exhaustion catching up to him. It wouldn’t be safe for him to drive. He stood up and pulled at the handle of his car. Nothing. Again.

    “ No! Fuck!” Virgil hissed, as he heard Prince Philip bark from inside   He hit the side of his window in frustration looking at the pup safe inside. He went to each door rapidly tugging at he handles as his dog followed him to each and every spot, like he always does.Therefore breaking a window was not going to work. At least not without hurting Philip.

    Virgil glanced around the road, and grimaced when he realized he had no clue where he was. In his panic he hadn’t paid attention to the world about him. The anxious man swore in frustration and kicked his tires. He sat on his hood trying to think. There had to be some stupidly simple…who was he kidding? His phone was in the car he was locked out of nobody will look for him, he has no idea where he is and his love gave up on him.

–

    Roman Prince was the master of being extra, the prince of drama. Sometimes it just happens it rolls over into his personal life. Such a rollover could lead to terrible decisions, like breaking up with a partner of four years because he got way too busy around the holiday season and slept whenever he came over. An impulse mistake.  However he was an asshole and he committed.

   Something Roman was well acquainted with.

    Currently the actor paced around his lavish home hoping that Virgil would call him back. Even though he understood he didn’t deserve it in the slightest. A tricky thing with pride, it wouldn’t allow him to cave and admit such stupid mistakes. Even if they were irrational, and immature. In honesty, the actor had no idea why his partner had needed to take so many hours. Not when Roman had offered to pay his bills.

   ‘Just to get away from me, then.’ Roman thought  to himself for the hundredth time that week. If Roman was being honest with himself, he knew Virgil was better off, Roman just wasn’t enough for him. The actor was way to loud and affectionate and chaotic and well hyper. Virgil was just…beautiful. Roman loved all the things that made him so different.   

     However it seemed everything that the actor tried to do made the other anxious or bored him, or frustrated him. It wasn’t fair to make Virgil that uncomfortable. Besides, Virgil was putting distance between them anyway. A mere coincidence that it came to a head at two p.m on Christmas eve.

     Roman took a seat in his chair in the living room glancing at the tree in the far corner.  He had looked forward another family holiday, before Virgil and Logan came along, it was just himself and Patton. Which was nice, but it wasn’t the big family event he wanted.  There were no debates, no Variety, just cards from fair weather friends, and Patton watching movies and baking in his kitchen.

–

   Virgil shivered slightly still sitting on his hood an hour later in the deserted back roads of wherever the hell he was.  His head dropped into his hands. Philip still staring at him paws up in the dash warm air still blowing his golden fur. Virgil just started crying feeling the volume of his music vibrating the windshield.  He didn’t have much energy. The broken man was cold and exhausted from the week. And it was back to just being him and- No he didn’t even have that. Logan was with Patton and would follow him. And Philip was gonna be…locked in this car tomorrow.

    Why couldn’t he just get it right this one time?

   Virgil felt the bitter wind bite his ears again. His car stuttering beneath him. A painful reminder he was supposed to get gas.  “ Fu-fuck you too universe.” He said bitterly and he laid there as the car’s engine wound down to a halt beneath him. And he curled up on his side waiting, hoping that some asshole would drive by.

Anyone.

–

    Roman jolted upright when his phone started  to chime he practically dove across the room only to feel moderate dread when he saw Logan’s name. He answered hesitantly, “ Hello specs! How are you this afternoon?”

    “ I am satisfactory Roman, I was gonna bring over the stuff  Patton made for you and Virgil tonight is that okay?” Roman sighed softly, he was not ready to have this conversation.  

    “ Virgil isn’t coming over tonight, or for a while.  We split up this morning.”

    “ Oh, well that is unfortunate, I wonder why Virgil didn’t call me. then?”

    “ He went to work instead of coming here pocket protector.  Look you guys can come over later. “

    “ Are you honestly that mad about my brother taking care of priorities?”

    “ I am tired of never being a priority.”

    “ Falsehood. You are one of the most important people in the world to him. He doesn’t trust that many people and if you’re going to brush him by for taking tender care of his independence  I don’t know what to say.” Roman ended the call slamming it on the counter and sauntering to his room after grabbing the champagne from the bucket on the table.

     He didn’t need to be yelled at by someone outside of the situation, how was that right?  

–

    Logan pulled his phone from his ear dialing Virgil’s number,  walking upstairs to grab his keys. How dare Roman treat his brother that way?  He said nothing to Patton as he passed, prompting a concerned look. He let his partner trail behind, Logan would explain momentarily.

    “ Virgil please pick up…” He muttered to himself as he looked for the car keys, since they weren’t on the key hook. He turned to Patton, “ Patton, where did you leave the keys?”

    “Hey,  Happy Holiday’s, Logan, if this is you, text. I’ll get back to you. Roman, I love you I will call in a moment. If it is you popstar?  Text me I got some puppy pics on standby. Anyone else? Wrong number.”   

    “ Virgil, that is not professional voicemail, we talked about this. Let me know you’re alright.”

–

    Virgil could see the light of his phone screen light up with his brother’s face  and grimaced as he watched as Philip barked and clawed at the phone for being loud.  Virgil smacked a tired fist on the window as he continued to shiver. He had a little hope maybe they would realize he was gone.  

   His mind was trying to tell him something… something important but he was a bit confused. The hood was growing cold quickly, and he didn’t know what to do. He could follow the road, but if he did that, the broken man might get even more lost, there could be nothing. He only saw trees and road to the horizon basically. What if he couldn’t find his car again? What if he couldn’t find Philip again?  

   Maybe they would care..

   Virgil was deliriously deliberating with himself, and it was crippling him. His mind was mildly foggy and he didn’t feel vigilant and that was causing him to panic again.

–

   Logan didn’t like the fact his brother didn’t answer his call, he wanted to drive down to the younger’s apartment. Virgil wasn’t one to let the voice mail get it. Even at work. Logan only called when it was important after all. So to hear the voicemail, it left a bad taste in his mouth.  

     Patton had stopped him, after all he was an adult. Logan waited for hours even though the concern on his partner’s face was ever growing. The sun had begun to dip behind the horizon when Logan stood up and walked to the door. “ I’m leaving, I would like your company, and an explanation why your expression is growing ever more somber. “

     The younger partners grabs his coat from the coat hook, his hand, wavering as he heard Logan asked about his expression. “ Roman dumped him for not being around, Ro was complaining about it the last couple weeks… but Virgil was working to pay off an engagement ring. So I understood Virgil needing space during work. But he is off and should have called you.”

      “ I uh I can’t believe my brother is uh is in a twisted version of  'The Gift of the Magi’. The irony, truly painful. Come along, it seems we are going to have to pull off a Christmas miracle.”   Logan muttered as his partner let out a little squeal.

   Logan pulled out his phone on the way to his car Patton climbing into the passenger seat.   Logan waited for someone to answer the phone at Virgil’s work. A small breath of relief came when someone answered.

 “ Hot topic Dan speaking can I help you?”

    “ Dan, this is Virgil’s brother Logan, is he there still?”

    “ Nah man he didn’t show up today, the manager is furious.”

     “ Right, if he comes in tell him to call me. We haven’t seen him all day.” With that he hung up glancing at Patton, “ Virgil didn’t GO to work. Call your friend. Tell him to start calling Virgil or get up and look for him like us. “

–

   Roman was  staring up at the fairy light’s that wrapped around his ceiling. The unopened bottle of champagne by his side. He couldn’t do it, no he wouldn’t drink his problems away. He was not that person,never was. The actor heard his phone ring from the kitchen. The campfire song song, Patton’s favorite, he stood slowly and followed the damning noise down the stairs. It drew him in like an ominous siren song, drawing him to a swift execution.

   His hand picked it up from the dining table, his eyes glanced at the burning candles almost burnt out before him.  There was no hesitation as he answered his phone, assuming the same role he always did with Patton. The role of the happy best friend who didn’t have a care in the world. Except for the fact it crumpled around him “ Hola mi amigo, como estás?”

    ” Roman, Virgil never went to work today.   He hasn’t answered Logan’s call and we are worried. Can you help us find him? He is probably devastated and we need to make sure he is okay. ”

    This broke the character instantly for Roman, as mad as he was, he did love Virgil.  “ Wh- wait-uh why would he be upset? He was the one putting distance between us?”

    “ You absolute moron, if he is working a minimum wage job-”

    “ Logan!”

    “ No Patton. My brother has been missing for hours because this theater clown decided to be self righteous! A minimum wage job on a hallmark holiday that puts to shame hundreds of his class. He has a man he loves, and would want to give him a great gift. Roman I know you don’t understand, I am well aware of that-”

    “I am leaving now, Logan, not arguing.”  Roman piped up ending the call with no hesitation. He gathered his coat and keys.  He didn’t know where Virgil was but he had to find him.

    He called his ex in a panic as he sprinted down  the driveway to his car.

–

    Virgil was curled up in a ball on the cold hood of his car  the gas had run out a small while ago. Which meant the thrum of the music was gone. He was in silence at least until the smooth bass of Roman’s voice singing to him tickled his ears. Philip  immediately pawing at the screen. The tired man listened to the sweet sound as it hit his ears. If it was the last time, he was okay with that now. He bumped his fist against the windshield in a rhythmic manner

     The broken man thought when the music cut off his love had been sent to voicemail but the tapping of his fist continued, as did the barking.  Virgil normally looked, bit he was tired his body shaking apathy gripping him.

–

  “Hey,  Happy Holiday’s, Logan, if this is you, text. I’ll get back to you. Roman, I love you-. Click”.  There was a moment of relief, though it was tainted with dread.  Virgil answered his call, at least that was what Roman thought, until Philip barking was the majority of what he could hear.

  “ Philip? What the hell? Where’s Virgil?” Roman said shocked at the absurdity of his dog answering. That was when he heard it, a very gentle thumping. Like Virgil was trying to get attention from him.   

   ‘ If this works… I will stop teasing My Chemical Romance. I swear.’ The actor thought    to himself before howling to get the dog to paw at the screen maybe he could get him to hit speaker.   What happened next might have been a Christmas miracle, or simply just luck but he knew. He could never tease the band again. The thumping was clearer now.

   “ Virgil? Are you there? “ There was a moment of silence but it was followed by a heavy thump thump. Heavier than it had been at least. Virgil was able to hear him but couldn’t vocally respond. Okay.   “. Virgil. I need to know where you on the way to my house or work. One tap for me two taps for work.”.

Thump

   “ Alright I am coming I am gonna drive and find you.  Okay I am going to get off-” Roman was cut off from a thump of protest. Okay. The actor started singing as he drove around, very gentle song met with the rhythmic beating against the window.  Ro was breaking speed limits trying to find his partner. It sounded like he had taken back roads. Too quiet to be the main roads.

–

    Virgil was hopeful, he wanted to be awake for Roman when he came, but he was starting to think it may not happen.   He was so cold everything was numb and he felt that even the tapping on the windshield was taking the strength of ten men.  The rhythm slowed and he heard Roman say something to him. There wasn’t much he could do. The broken man was able to hear the actors tone grow frantic.  But in the minutes passing he couldn’t understand what was being said.

   At least not enough to make a difference. He understood an occasional shout that broke though, ‘Vir-’.   Other than that, it was lost on him. By fifteen minutes later the tapping had almost ceased. The shaking was constant and he couldn’t control it,  nor did he care to.

   He could hardly hear a word, yet he felt familiar strong arms around him and pick up his body with minimal effort.  He felt himself get set in the back seat of a car feeling a familiar clutter of costumes and soft props. It felt hot in the car, felt painful like  running a cold hand under too warm of water. Then the door opened on the passenger side and Philip bounded in. The other back door opened again and he felt Roman climb in and remove his coat and shirt.  

   Roman removed his own shirt pressing it against the cut in his elbow and wrapped himself around Virgil trying to warm him up while the ambulace located them.  The actor went to move the sweatshirt to the passenger seat when he saw a small box fall from his pocket. It brought tears to his eyes. “ I am sorry Virgil, so so sorry.”

   “I…love you…” Virgil sighed,his voice weak and thick from exhaustion as Roman felt his body quivering, it was slowly warming up.

   “ I love you too..” Roman whispered  carding his fingers through chilled hair. “ I’ll pay for your window later.” They may not be okay right now, but it will get better.

[pandorafics]

Holific #2 - theresneverenoughfandoms

(( The next one is for @theresneverenoughfandoms, I love their content and even though we have never spoken I wanted to let them know they are awesome!

Trope: Teachers dating with less than suspecting students.

Pairing: Lamp

Word count: 2,006

    “Mr. Prince? We were wondering, who did you get for the secret Santa today?” One of Roman’s students questioned at the end of class.  Roman let out a light laugh.

    “ Come now, it wouldn’t be much of a secret Santa if I spilled the beans, don’t you have another class to go to?”   He was putting on his sash for his next lesson, reading Macbeth’s father, and being the narrator, a wrinkled sash, simply was not going to cut it.  Plus he had a lot of fun orchestrating his students, teaching the intentions of characters. It also helped he was the drama teacher, so many props, fun fact allow kids to learn and play with fake blood was working so far.   Even if other teachers were less than enthusiastic.

    “ Did you get nurse Hart? Almost everyone ships you guys.”  Roman’s expression went immediately from shock, to amusement then to the guttural laughter.  They didn’t know?  Tammy, a sophomore with not the biggest interest in drama, seemed taken aback.  

    “ So you guys are all shipping me with Mr. Hart, that is, adorable.” The adult mused lightly, as his student gave him a slightly confused look.  

    “ I said almost. There are a few others that have  been shipped with you.” Roman could die now, his laughter could be considered borderline.   

     “ Oh that’s hilarious, Tara, you have to drop those details. The curiosity is killing me.”   Tara looked at him enjoying his laughter, it shouldn’t have been that absurd to think people would ship teachers.  What else would they be doing during the more tedious of lessons. Tara shifted a dark curl behind her ear

    “ There are a couple unspoken ships you and Mr. Croft and you and Mr. Sanders.”

    “ Why are they unspoken?”

    “ Well Mr. Sanders is always arguing with you, and  Mr. Croft is…. Mr. Croft, all business, not very emotional, not very romantic  and you are.” Roman could only laugh at that, to him it was all absurd. This could not be happening.   He shook his head and gave a light pat to his students shoulder.

    “ That is… marvelous, anyway get to lunch, when the time comes you’ll know who I got.”  With that he sent Tara to lunch and gathered up his empty coffee cup. He had to tell the others.  He dusted off his white shirt and black slacks before shoving his fingers through his hair.

     Ro sauntered to the teachers lounge not trying to rush through the crowd of students.  Reminding them that they had places to be, it was mostly friends too caught up in chit chat.  Others were just students who lingered at their lockers, some made a beeline for the library. He gave a nod to certain students who were walking to the drama room for lunch.  He didn’t mind his teaching assistant was in there, and Valerie was fine with them hanging out.

    The young woman was a gift, it helped him be be two places at the same time.  Especially with practice for auditions for the spring play on the way, ‘Grease’.  Valerie and Roman had debated on it for days, only settling on Grease when Roman said it was uplifting for the last of the  winter months, and a good send off for the year.

    Roman let out a little smile As he pulled out a little ball of fabric as he entered the faculty room.   Logan sitting at the table grading papers, his tie loosened. His slicked back hair curling up slightly at the end in the back. The responsible man tapping his pen in his right hand as he read an answer.  His hand grasped desperately around a coffee cup. “ Have you finally realized you put too many open ended questions on that test, specs?”

    “ No, I stand by my choice, I need to know they have a solid comprehension of the material before we proceed with next semester. These are midterms after all..”  Logan said looking up to give Roman his focus. The tests too important to give only half of his attention.

    “ Right well, I don’t see how they couldn’t, you are the most thorough man I know, you make packets every semester with bluff notes. Then elaborate. Then review, they if they are struggling you still turn around and have correction sessions for half credit.  If they don’t understand now they are hopeless.” Roman drawled as he walked to the coffee pot and pouring a cup. Logan sighed and gave a dismissive wave.

    “ As such their understanding of what I teach is my priority. Them knowing the truth, is vital to progress and I don’t give a damn what you say I am doing it regardless, now please, I have work to do, Princey.”  Logan responded with a small smirk, he didn’t like being disturbed, however Roman, Virgil,and Patton were exceptions. Their frequent distractions kept the stress migraines at bay for the history teacher.

    “ Careful, don’t let Pat catch you, no swearing on school grounds Virgil was sitting with a student, each strumming on a ukulele, the purple one in Virgil’s hands  his name in black paint on the face, the student’s was green, a spare one Virgil kept. Roman shook his head lightly and took a seat on the arm of couch the gloomy music teacher was occupying.    

    “ Right, well we need to discuss secret Santa business.” The theater nerd mentioned as he sipped his coffee.  

    “ Roman I’m busy!” Logan insisted pinching the bridge of his nose.  

    “ Hi busy! I’m dadd-!” Patton cut himself off when he saw the student as he walked into the room with a cookie platter in hand. Logan groaned while Virgil gave a small smirk looking at his student.

    “Andre, practice your this piece over break, don’t forget, hard work yields good results have a good one kid.”

    “ Later Virgil!” The teen laughed, standing and making an exit with the uke in hand. Virgil stretched lightly he was glad it was almost break.  

     Roman waited for the boy to leave, once the door shut Roman walked to the closest, “ I am so Excited!  And I have something hilarious to tell you guys.” He set the cup to the side, smiling at how Patton was still flushed in the face.  

     Virgil was the first to saunter over, “ Spill it Ro, I got ten minutes before my bell.”  Roman was stunned that Virgil didn’t roll his eyes at him.

     “ People are shipping me with you three, mostly our pastry proficient padre.” Roman laughed as Virgil shook his head.

    “It makes sense the students voted who we did secret Santa for, and we all got each other. Speaking of which your wearing this one.” Virgil spoke while he pulled out a black suit bag, Roman pulled off another one and set it to the side.

      “ They aren’t wrong,  Logan this is yours.” Roman smirked excited to see the different colors on his partner.  He laid the suit bag on Logan’s work, careful to not hit his coffee. Virgil hooked Roman’s bag on the back of his costume.  Roman’s hands fly to the back of his collar, “ Virgil please unhook it I don’t need my pristine princely attire ruined. “

     “ Ah ah ah, be nice kiddos, this may be a style swap but let’s not  ruin things.” Patton interjected as he pulled out Virgil’s outfit bag.   

    “ Ah, yes, my pastel poison. Let’s get this over with.. “ The gloomy man said before going to change.  Roman burst into an out right guffaw as the surly man let out a cry of dejection after the deafening sound of the zipper.   “ Patton please not this, this ruins my entire aesthetic!”

    “ That is the point surly temple! “ Roman called out with a sigh as Patton removed the bag from his shirt.

    “ Get in another stall and change then! See how you like it! “ Virgil said his voice breaking,Logan tapped Patton gently on the shoulder and held out the last bag  to Patton his own bag in hand as he waltzed into a stall.

     Patton waited patiently for the other’s to exit. He smiled hearing the actor cry out in dismay, “ Really Virgil,  you made me the bad guy!”

      “ Oh come on Princey the phantom’s masquerade costume was awesome!”

       “ It is purple Virgil! You made me  the bad guy and couldn’t keep my red.”

       “ Roman you put me in a white dress shirt with gold embroidery on the shoulders. And red pants, Live with it.”  Logan responded in a seemingly neutral tone, “ And do you want me to go into your bastardized version of a necktie?”  

     “ Now now guys, there was a reason we agreed to this.”. Patton reminded the others with a gentle smile. It grew wider when he saw Virgil step out in beige khakis and a lavender shirt with a light grey sweater around his shoulders.   Patton’s squeal of delight startled the music teacher, Patton didn’t care. “ You are so cute!”

    “ No I am a creature of the night! And will be respected as such!”

    “ Surrre you are. “ The youngest of the group beamed before he walked into a stall, excited even as as he revealed the three piece  blue suit. “Lolo you are going to have to show me how to do this necktie thing.”

     “Very give me a moment to sort out my own attire.” Logan said in the same neutral tone.

   “Padre, do remind me why we agreed to this? Oh the cape! It is so soft!” Virgil shook his head in amusement,  only to laugh out right and see Logan leave the stall clothing bag in hand. “ We have proper gifts for each other at home, Ro. We decided to have fun with getting secret Santa gifts for each other.  We agreed on this simply because our students would get a laugh from it.” Logan stated dusting off the white dress shirt, the red tie with gold poinsettias on it and a small black embroidered message that read, ‘Property of PH, VS,and RP. ’   

   Small enough to go unnoticed by the student’s but large enough to make Mr. Croft smile softly to himself. A little reminder he was not alone and he would never be alone again. Though he wished Roman had not put it on the front.  Logan also wished that he had not put him in red skinny jeans, the snug feeling around his legs was somewhat uncomfortable.

    Patton came out in the suit  immediately hugging Logan close, “ This is so much fun and you made me so stylish, I really must put  on a suit more often!” Logan smirked slightly and pulled back to do the youngest’s tie.

     Roman came through the stall door with a smirk,  while he did not like the fact he was the villain, he did like the cape and the way the black mask made his lighter brown eyes look sharp. The cape trailed behind him.  “Okay I must admit, it is pretty cool! Ahem! Masquerade! Paper faces on parade! Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a different sh-”

   “ Princey, as much as I am glad you are not pissed, I want to watch Phantom  of the Opera tonight, would really like it if you didn’t sing it all day.” Virgil muttered, his eyes rolled as the actor let out an indignant huff, but ultimately nodded at the prospect of watching the musical that was  how they met. College..

   “ So shall we go mess with the fans?”  The drama nerd cheered

   “ You mean our students.”  Logan mentioned as he walked back to his seat  to continue grading his papers. Roman shook his head lightly, smiling at the his brainiac of a partner.

   “ Well,  Clearly the theories about us dating and this will surely ignite  their interests now.” Roman boasted with a grin. Logan shook his head with a sigh.

    “ Well, it is just one of those things I suppose, they are children, they would not suspect the four of us to all be together… it is adequate to…. Keep them guessing"

[pandorafics]

Not today.

// Hey back with a fic(read the warnings).  I didn’t have the motivation to finish the power fic or Sensors Down those will come soon I promise. Today I felt like writing black  coffee and mean like expresso black. So….

Tw: Self depricating thoughts, suicidal thoughts, and swearing if I missed any let me know so I can fix them.   Hurt/Comfort. ** Be safe everyone please** 

 Fandom: Sanders Sides

 Word count: 1,500 

Ships: End Logice

Brief summary: Logan spends one full day in bed thinking. It is usually a comfort. However today thinking did more harm then good.  

Keep reading

[pandorafics]

Twink (ie)?

    An atypical day at the office, Connor and Hank had been working overtime on the most recent case it was frustrating, but there wasn’t much to be done  about it. Hank was ansty, he hadn’t been able to focus on the case for the last hour, he nodded of and left Connor to handle the brunt of it. Connor didn’t mind.

    After Hank was the human, and needed the sleep Connor simply needed a recharge every three days  this was his second day, so that was fine. He took a break now and then to let his processors cool off for a bit.   His coat had been removed hours ago. The detective model’s tie loosened more and more until it just hung around his neck.   

    He was overheating slightly, the air conditioning unit had gone down the week prior, and nobody was happy. Fowler was snippy, Gavin had somehow managed to figure out a way to be an even bigger asshole, Hank was constantly  snapping at Gavin for harassing Connor, and even Tina, the sweetheart of the precinct, was being a bit aggressive towards others. It didn’t help an anomaly heat wave had struck two days ago. Leaving standing fans at their highest usage since the early 2000’s.  

     Terminals were overheating too, leaving paperwork to be completed manually and scanned in later on.  Fowler had even permitted a break in dress code to permit beat cops to wear short sleeve uniform shirts and black khaki shorts to prevent overheating.  The last two days had been an absolute disaster. Connor glanced at the manual clock and sighed it was exactly one fifteen pm. Connor stood gently and walked to the break room rolling up each of his sleeves to the elbow.

    Connor had to wake Hank and get a cold beverage in him, he didn’t  enjoy the android only bringing him water. So this time Connor decided an Ice coffee would make the Lieutenant  pleased and not agitated on waking up. Connor filled the twenty ounce cup with ice, and put in a small of sugar and cream before slowly adding the coffee slowly so the ice chilled it while it was poured.  Connor still was not satisfied with with the temperature of the coffee. So he opted to put the cup in the freezer for a a few minutes, Connor didn’t mind, it let him idle and further lower his internal temperature.  

    He waited for longer than he intended to however he was cool enough to return to manually  in putting paperwork, and the coffee was certainly chilled enough. The time read one thirty-six  pm as he entered back on the floor, he had his eyes locked on Hank who was starting to stirred. Connor adjusted his pace to have the coffee in front of him before the eccentric realized that he was not in his spot.    

   Gavin  Reed hated excessive heat, almost as much as he hated  androids. It was this heat wave that made him decide that he hated heat more. He had called it early yesterday because was overheating so bad it made him feel sick.  Today was probably going to be no different, he was already wearing shorts and a t-shirt and he still was not comfortable. He had his head down looking at his phone when he bumped into  that fucking machine. His head muddled as he spilled some of the coffee down the front of the both men Gavin was pissed but almost grateful. It gave them a reason a reason to leave this sauna. But as it stood he was also looking for a reason to be mad.

   Even still, “ Fucking twink!”  He snapped out in anger as the android putting the remaining coffee in the cup on the Lieutenant’s desk. The Lieutenant  whose head shot up at Gavin’s words.

    “Watch your fucking mouth when talking about Connor  Reed, it was an accident. No need to be so pissy..” Hank growled noting the coffee and picking it up to drink some, if he was gonna tear Reed a new one his throat needed be moistened, at the moment it was drier than fucking sand.

   Connor’s  processors hadn’t  registered Gavin’s approach, even more so, his choice of insult confused him.   His software ran a search for the word twink, which his search engine corrected to a confectioners treat that was mass produced for a long time.  “Thank you detective, I didn’t know you thought I was sweet..”

   Hank choked on his coffee setting the cup down as he reached for a few tissues from the box on Connor’s  desk to wipe the spray off himself and his desk. Gavin looked so done. “Connor, son, no, okay, he did not mean twinkie. He meant twink.  An attractive, young gay man with little to no body hair. Connor, we talked about this, Gavin would not compliment you. “

   Connor’s head cocked to the side as he processed Hank’s  words. There was one more thing that was new information.  “Gavin, I appreciate that you think I am young, and attractive. However. I am not interested in you the same way. Sorry to hurt our….. bromance.”  Connor said with a sarcastic smirk.

  Gavin stomped off to Fowler ’s  office, telling the Captain he had to go home and change. Fowler directed him to the shirt back ups he had for this instance. Captain saw Connor looking at him equally soaked, Hank  half asleep from staying over night and walked to the door. “Connor, Anderson go get some rest.”

    “What the fuck Captain? “  The detective protested in frustration.

    “You left early yesterday, they stayed overnight. That’s enough Reed.”  

     Connor smiled and looked at Hank. “Come on, you need proper rest, and a nice air conditioner.  Not to mention water.”

     “Yeah, yeah, just let me finish my coffee before you start waterboarding me.” Hank responded walking to punch out while Connor  tucked the paperwork away into his briefcase to work on at home. The idea working next to his favorite dog appealed gravely to him.”

// Requested by @lillyofthevalley99

Part ten tonight for ‘Remember Me’. Hopefully. Sorry guys. And @vampirzyca13 I haven’t forgotten about 'Sensors Down’ and 'HICHE 5 ’

P.s I don’t do sugar fics often if you want more or have an idea drop a request!!!

-Pandora

[pandorafics]

Remember Me? Part One.

    Connor was  typically optimistic, he loved his job, Sumo, his quarter,  and of course his father Hank. Even though the elder human used to call him a plastic prick, Hank changed, and so had Connor.  After the revolution peacefully ended and the androids began to leave hiding. Connor was able to stay with the DPD. Life was good, staying with Hank.  The chiding that had gone back and forth… it felt, like comfort, and home.

     However, currently it was not a happy home, Connor sat alone in the kitchen staring at an empty bottle of whiskey peeking out of the trash. It was the last one Hank had finished before it happened.  Connor had almost gone into stasis just staring at it. Only snapping out of it long enough to take care of Sumo now and then. Sumo had become his primary objective while Hank was, ‘Away’.

     Saying his father was in the hospital because of a stray PL600 was too much for the Android.  Connor once felt the sting of Daniel’s death, however, Now it was hard to look at the model without feeling anger.  Another emotion left on the emotion board ( Hank’s way of teaching Connor, an emotion and a slight description i.e. “ Wanna punch Reed, that’s anger” ).   

     He waited, for Markus  to see if any of his people had seen the stray, for the hospital to call. If the hospital  called, Hank lived, or Connor lost his fath-Connor lost everything. There were times Connor  wished that he could go back to factory settings, if he had a human heart, the guilt would kill him.  

~~

    “Lieutenant? I think you should stop staring at that picture.”  Connor warned, eyeing the picture of Cole with the slightest hint of frustration  in his voice. Hank was beyond drunk, or even the “Drunker” he had explained helped him think. Hank was morbid. And the gun in his hand didn’t  have just one bullet this time. It held four.

     “You have a 66.67 percent chance of dying now. This isn’t  a game, it’s suicide, Hank.” Connor had protested.

      Hank glared at the android scolding him.  Who the fuck was he to tell him what to do. “ Great, I get to be with my son.  I don’t have to live in this fucked up world where the only things convinced I should live is a dog, and a Plastic prick, like you Connor.  Get the fuck outta my house.” The elder had growled and put the gun to his head and pulling the trigger.

      Lucky for Connor, Hank fell into the 33.33%  chance that it was an empty slot, the gun clicked uselessly. Connor lunged across the table and wretched the gun free from Hank’s  grasp. Hank stood grabbing his coat from the back of the chair.

    Then something occurred  to Connor, Hank really did think of Connor as just a machine, a Thing.  “What, you ran outta whiskey so you’re  gonna go looking for trouble!” Connor yelled in anger, he thought Hank was past calling him a ‘ Plastic Prick’

      “If I come home and you’re still here, you will wish, that  you would have shot yourself on revolution day.” Hank warned looking at the younger before walking out the front  door and slamming the screen door in an inebriated fury.

With Connor’s  stress raising to a steep 78.49 percent, he let hank go.

~~

Connor snapped to as his auditory receptors picked  up the ringtone of his phone. He answered hastily, “Hello, this is Connor.” He said the voice on the opposite  was a male early thirties, and by the sick scratchy tone to his voice, he shouldn’t be working. “HI, I am Angelo calling  from Detroit Receiving hospital, I was supposed to call once Hank Anderson woke up from surgery for questioning. He is in recovery now if you are available?” Angelo questioned through the  phone.

     “Of Course, I am on my way, what time is it?” Connor responded looking around as he stood grabbing  a sweatshirt from the back of his chair. He had noticed the light peeking thru the curtains, but time had all out escaped him. With his clothes in the was baggy jeans, a dress shirt  and a suit jacket were going to have to do. He stood calmly picking up a bag of clothes for Hank, in case they released him.

     “It is 12:30 in the afternoon detective. Shall I let Hank know you’re  coming?” Angelo questioned calmly he could hear Connor fussing with something in the background, then he heard a bark. OK, a dog then.  

    “No this isn’t  just business, it is also personal, he’d be  happy to get a surprise.” Then Connor thought about it, hand threatened to kill him. However Connor wouldn’t  mind so much, the Lieutenant is probably too weak to kill this deviant hunter and they could talk it out,right? “Bye Sumo!” Connor  said shutting the door behind him sighing softly.

    “I’ll  be there in twenty minutes thank you Angelo, have a good day.” Without waiting for a response, Connor  clicked off the phone and began walking. Thinking to himself ‘please forgive me, please be okay, please forgive me,’ Connor didn’t  realize the more he thought the faster he moved until he was sprinting to the hospital.

[pandorafics]

Remember Me: Part 2

    Angelo looked at the deviant in front of him, Connor looked like head been standing in front of a leaf blower, hair swept back in a messy fashion,the strap of the messenger bag was adjusted awkwardly. Angelo laughed lightly,and then noticed a concerned look on the androids face. “ You androids certainly  don’t play around, you said twenty minutes you should have said ten.” He said praising Connor for being so efficient.

    Connor didn’t  acknowledge the praise, he didn’t deserve it. If Connor had forced Hank to stay, Then they would be at home petting Sumo and Hank would be drinking coffee on his day off in tacky old plaid sweatpants. The would have taken Sumo to the park and play for hours on end.  ‘This is my fault’

     ‘You don’t  deserve his forgiveness, Connor.’ The deviant heard in his head, the closest  thing he knew to evil, Amanda.  The voice was startling and when he realised it was her, he groaned. He hadn’t  heard from her since the revolution and she tried to force him to murder Jericho’s leader.  

     “You alright there robo-cop?” Angelo said flashing a toothy smile,then he noticed  how unamused Connor looked, sighed, then put a visitor’s badge on the table, “ Room 434, he might not re-” Connor was off to the elevator no longer listening. He stood to follow the Android down the hallway. However he got stopped to answer another client’s  question watching as Connor climbed into the elevator. Connor just had to see that Hank was okay, he flicked his quarter from hand to hand waiting.

    The elevator  door opened and the android was released walking briskly to room 434, he took a moment the fix his hair and the bag. The he entered quietly looking at the white walls  and the TV playing something idly as he set the bag down. Hank was alive, and Connor felt elated.

   Connor smiled brightly walking to his dad leaning up slightly on the bed, “ Hank! I’m so gl-” before the elder turned on him glaring and cut him off.

     “Cole! Son I don’t  care how old you are, or what the circumstance is, you do not call me by my first name.”  The elder barked disciplining his son in agitation. Hank was very stern about his son calling him Hank.  He did not expect Cole’s expression to wilt like a flower left on the counter too long, or the tears beading up at the corners of  eyes and then dripping down his cheeks.

    “ Jeeze Cole, I corrected you, I didn’t disown you, relax kid!” He said in a chiding tone watching Cole’s shoulders sag and his head glance to the ground and away.  Hank sat up sighing softly, “Come here.”

     Connor tried to find the way to explain, he had never felt so many mixed feelings at once. It was a mix of punching things, hiding his face into Sumo, and having a successful  mission all at once. However it felt so intense,and stressful.

     Stress levels at: 65.07 and climbing at a rate of .45 per minute.

   He listened to Hank and walked over taking a seat on the bed. Hank hugged him close and pet his hair for a moment.  “ What’s wrong Cole?” Hank said softly to his son trying to reassure him, Connor could only shake his head, he had to process, if he still had his Led it’d  be flashing.

     A memory  flashing through his mind. “I’m  whatever you want me to be Lieutenant…your partner, your buddy to drink with or just a machine. Designed to accomplish a task.”   Hank wants Cole  not  Connor.  Connor had said whatever Hank wanted him to be.  Connor could be Cole. He could try.

  “I am just so glad you’re alive dad. You were hurt really bad do you remember anything?”   Connor responded sadly wishing he was factory reset. So he didn’t have to do this.

    “We can do that  for you Connor, you never have to feel this pain again.”  Amanda chimed in his mind, Connor shook the trespassing thought off worried she was going to just stay with him.

    “ I am sorry, may I speak  with you Co-” Angelo went to interrupt but was interrupted  by Connor.

    “Of course, I’ll be right back dad.” The deviant said taking a stand, stepping into the hall and shutting the door, behind him.  “ What is going on?” The Android demanded looking at the Rn with disdain,pent up anger swelling inside like an overfilled pool.

      “Hank has suffered  brain trauma, he may remember  soon, or it could be permanent, I tried to warn you earlier but you walked away on me.” Angelo said adjusting his powder blue scrub, Connor  felt lost. Would Hank ever remember the Thing he’d  worked with and spent time with? Or would  Hank spend the rest of his life with Cole? Ignorant of the  thing that thought of him as a dad.  

     “When can he be released?” Connor questioned  softly hanging his head, he hoped it would be long, please not to soon. If he was going to be Cole, he had a lot of work to do. That much was clear.

     Angelo, sighed and shot a look at the younger android  that seemed sympathetic. “ He should be able to return home in a week, Connor.”

   Connor nods softly, his voice quiet and broken,“ One more thing, please don’t  call me Connor, I prefer Cole.” He grit his teeth, looking at the floor, the floor had an identity, and a purpose. It was a floor, and its  purpose was to support the maximum occupancy of 309 people so they didn’t fall to the floors below.

    Connor had a purpose, but no longer had an identity. His purpose was to be whatever Hank needed of him, and that happened to Be /NOT/ Connor. He did not want to fail this mission.  

     “ Very well Cole,  I hope you have a pleasant visit with Hank.”  Angelo responded watching the android turn away, not the same excited android who had answered the phone earlier.   

     Connor  walked into the room  and smiling down at Ha- his dad. Even though Connor was hurt, he was glad Hank was alive.  Hank was laying back now, staring up at the ceiling when he left heard Connor enter the room.

     “Cole, what happened?” The older man asked quietly. His hand moving to pat the bed, a gesture to summon Cole  to come and explain. Cole came and sat by his side placing a cold hand on his father’s.

     “You were attacked last night by a PL600,  the android hurt you pretty bad, and well I’m  curious what you do remember so the guys at work and I can catch it.” Cole said solemnly and with a sense  of resignation that surprised Hank. It was like a machine taking on a mission, there was no humanity in those words.

    “Cole, I understand  you’re upset, but don’t  get yourself killed by one of those damn plastic p-”

    “ Pricks, I get it dad. But do you remember anything? It would help me with the investigation.” Cole said stiffly, his hands trembling slightly.  

     “ No, I don’t  remember much of anything. I remember you, Sumo,my job,and that your mother took off a long time ago, and even that’s fuzzy, everything is a jumbled mess in my head. I hope it clears up soon kid.”Hank said calmly, what does a man who can’t  remember do for an investigation.

“ Alright, I gotta get back to the office, I got a lot of work to do, especially  if my partner is going to be in the hospital for the next week.” Cole said sadly standing up and walking to the door.  

    Stress levels at 77 .87 %

   “Hey, I love you!” Hank called out to Cole,who turned and smiled at him softly.

    “I love you too, dad.”  Connor reciprocated quietly, giving a wave and exiting the room,shutting  the door behind him. Connor did not like this feeling, at first it felt like, an inability  to escape, like he had an automobile on his chest,he felt like hiding at home and never coming out again.  His stress levels rising, steadily. Connor walked to Angelo, he handed him the visitor’s badge.

    There was nothing to be said, Connor just had to leave, had to go.The deviant  pressed the button repeatedly, ‘ I have to get out if here, I can’t do this. I can’t. I can’t.’

          ‘No you can’t  Connor, you always fail your missions.’

          ‘Not right now Amanda!’  

    The elevator  opened and Connor walked in and hit the ground floor button letting the  door close. He put his index and middle finger to his head. ‘ Markus, I need help.’   Connor sent the thought as he leaned against the wall of the elevator running his hands through the dark hair and folding at the waist slightly, he was trying to reign himself in.

    ‘ Where are you Connor? What’s wrong?’

    ‘Leaving the Detroits Receiving  Hospital, Stress levels are at 86% and climbing. I don’t  want to be alone right now.’

    ‘Ok, stay calm Connor.  When you get to the front of the hospital go to the garden, once there take a seat in the shade and count the blades of grass, I will be as fast as possible.’

    ‘Sure.’ The deviant  thought back as he exited the elevator, he practically ran to the garden.  His thirium pump working extra hard, to try and even himself out. His eyes scanned the area for shade, and wasn’t  disappointed, he walked over to it, laid on his stomach and just started counting the individual blades of grass.

   Waiting for Markus.

[pandorafics]

Remember Me Part 3

    Connor  didn’t move or think or blink, his eyes stared down taking notice of each blade of grass, at first he lost track and then started back at one.  His stress levels lowering as the blades ticked away half a point of stress each. The Deviant was not happy with the way things were going but he had to work with it.   He hoped that Markus would at least offer some sort of insight.

     Markus entered the park ten minutes and forty-three seconds later and stood still. He watched the pale faced android pick  at the blades of grass. His eyes focused, intent on the grass and not what had bothered him so much. Markus felt worried about Connor, The detective was normally cool and collected, however the message Markus had received was frightened, and sad.  He took a mental image to sketch later before sauntering toward the prone android. Though Connor didn’t look up.

    “There are 1203.75 blades of grass from my quarter to my keys.My stress levels are down to a cool  60.” Connor said blandly he gestured to the grass before him, the deviant still looked down but he was no longer counting. “ My quarter being a great assistant to my counting quest, my keys a painful reminder that my life is in shambles with Sumo and you as my only true friends.” Connor said in the same bored tone.  Markus stared at Connor in bewilderment, his only friends what about Hank. Hank was his father, his best friend, even more so than Sumo.

    The thought hit Markus like a mac truck, “Is he dead?” Markus questioned looking saddened for his friend, even if Hank wasn’t dead, Connor certainly looked as though his father had died.  Markus adjusted gently to take a seat by his friend. “You didn’t tell me much about your and Hank’s argument either. What happened?” The leader questioned,cautious about Connor’s stress levels.  He gently pat the back of the younger looking man.

    Connor grumbled as he sat up,looking at Markus with a sigh, did he want to do through the explanation,  no, would Markus let it go, no. With another grumble,Connor resigned himself to the explanation his hand snatched up the coin and flicked it from hand to hand as he Started his explanation.  “ Hank was drinking heavily and playing that suicide game, He put four bullets in the gun, when I requested he stopped and he grew agitated. I informed him that the probability of the bullet killing him was at 66.67 percent. He said he’d be happy to be with Cole when the only things that cared if he lived or died was Sumo and a plastic prick like me.  Then he fired into the 33.33 percentile, I disarmed him he left, I didn’t chase him, like a Gavin-”

    “ Wait what do you mean by, ‘like a Gavin’”  Markus interrupted, looking at the deviant who stood to  stretch. Markus stood to join him as well, not a big fan of just sitting around.  

    “ Hank kept calling Gavin an asshole, I just figured the words were interchangeable.”  Connor said calmly as he continued. “ I waited for Hank a while at the house after my stress levels lowered ,I even waited outside the bar where we first met, 3:33 am  I received the call from Fowley-”

    ‘ Saying that you failed your mission to protect Hank, what missions have you accomplished, Connor.’

   ‘ Amanda, I need you to stop.’  Connor responded before he realized Markus had set a hand on his arm.   

    “Connor, it isn’t your fault Hank did not come back, a stray PL600  attacked Hank while he was sobering up from berating you, things were a mess Connor, you can’t hold yourself acc-”

    “However I do,  Hank is hurt and he isn’t recognizing me as Connor, he thinks I am Cole and I can’t fix that!  What if he is stuck like this? “ Connor growled angrily looking at Markus who stepped back.

    “ I- I don’t know how long he will be like this Connor, But I will be here for you, and so is Jericho, I promise.” Markus reassured gently, even though he was shocked about the revelation. “Come on, don’t we go to Jericho right now, we can grab Sumo-”

     “No,I need to fulfill my objective Markus I  am going to be Cole, but I need to do some work.  I want to go see Kamski first.” Connor said firmly,  he looked at Markus and noticed the leader’s look appeared to be discomfort, and then resignation.

     “ Okay, let’s  go, but I am not going inside.”

     “I don’t  want you to come in, I just want the company  on the journey.” Connor stated calmly, as he lead the way out of the park and to the creator.