parkerayers

[parkerayers]

The Rich

Do you want to be happy?

I would say yes with Optimism but I give a hopeful I yes

Might not notice a difference, not many do

Happiness isn’t something everyone obtains

Often left as a prerogative of the rich

The poor struggle

Claw and scratch with the bustle of the world

Everyone isn’t always happy but they will clarify they are with a smile cheek to cheek

Kids laughing and playing completely unaware of the rent that’s past due

Parents making shadow puppets on the walls with their children in an effort to hide the fact that the lights have been turned off

Yet no one is unhappy?

Odd thing to see for the ones that have minimal

The rich laugh and exploit the minority

Loving their lives of little effort but extreme comfort

With a minor flaw in that surface level thinking

We work our 9-5’s barely making enough week to week

But we come home to our families, grab drinks with friends and complain about the times or yet another loss from our home team

Meet up for barbecue or maybe a nephews school play

The rich make no time for such minor joys for they can come across anything

They feel no rush of joy after a rough week and realizing you’ve made enough to cover your phone bill

Or surprising their child with a day out of school and a trip to the walk, all in means to hide you being laid off but having faith it’ll work out

The rich choose to say they’re happy with blind optimism

In no way saying all of the wealthy are cold and selfish

But it takes a lot to feel a hopeful yes

Wanting that better day and having to make it on your own rather wake up to it

So in this way ,happiness is no longer a prerogative of the rich but a gainful position to any

[parkerayers]

Tired of the charade, tired of the fear, tired of the sleepless nights. Losing motivation is the catalyst for a clean and swift end. Cant give up but that feels like the only peaceful option sometimes. #stay #pleasestay #poetryislove #allihave #plentytodo https://www.instagram.com/p/CRoIA2Ysrgv/?utm_medium=tumblr

[parkerayers]

No longer afraid, no longer in pain, no longer questioning if this is all I am. I dont care, only place I feel comfort is sitting alone in my bathroom with the lights off, music on and my face buried in my arms #comfort #comfortfood #keepgoing #keepwriting #imscared https://www.instagram.com/p/CRoHwuusgU4/?utm_medium=tumblr

[parkerayers]

Its difficult, sitting at your lowest point. They always say "you have nowhere to go but up". Then why am I still face down, thing deep breathes in the dirt? I don't even notice the breeze pushing my hair around or the stars looking down on me curious as to what comes next. I barely notice the hand extended or the rope thrown down to me. I dont notice because there's plenty of other tools in this hole with me from people that have abandoned me,there's plenty of foot holes in the walls of my tomb from attempts to climb up but being kicked down. I dont even scrape the dirt from my nails anymore, I dont lick my wounds and dont get up to try again. I chose go lay here, I choose to lay here until something sparks. #1975 #me #mentalhealth #dead #deadontheinside #poetrycommunity #poetryisntdead https://www.instagram.com/p/CRoHY4dsSw3/?utm_medium=tumblr

[parkerayers]

What makes them sk bad? #badpeople #goodpeople https://www.instagram.com/p/CRfsNu6suVX/?utm_medium=tumblr

[parkerayers]

Snapchat

Not a single word was spoken but a thousands were read. Not a moment of locking eyes, nor a second smelling her perfume. Not a moment did we lounge over coffee or compatible signs. Not once did I steal a glance at her hips, her breasts, her lips or the shine of her eyes in the sunlight. Not a day passed I wondered what our first time would be like or the taste of her skin. I didnt dream of holding her sensually nor did I have any thought of what she'd be wearing. But I knew her favorite songs, her siblings, her home life, deepest fears, darkest secrets, favorite colors, move preferences, favorite foods, clothing style, sense of humor, her attention to detail which all includes the attention I preffered to spend on her. I knew her hopes and wants, before I could recall her features. I had heard Amy winehouse before I heard her voice, I had picked sunflowers before I had had a chance to compliment the beautiful gaze in her eyes. All before I had the chance to notice her twiddling her thumbs and clutching her purse strap due to nervousness. She knew all of interests, fears and thoughts before we even knew it would be anything more than a crisp evening brought together by either a kind accident or an unfortunate but lucky case of fate. Knew she was all I could ever ask for, all I could ever want to be with or be. All before a single word was spoken, yet thousands were read

[parkerayers]

After awhile you arent scared, not afraid to fight back, no longer wanting to hide under your bed. Im not afraid anymore, but now I'm angry. I sleep with a knife under my pillow ready to react and end my suffering. When he swings I stand bracing myself to respond and make him regret it. He grabs his gun and I take it from him. Pulling the trigger myself but with no loud conclusion because the seping broke when I wrestled it from him. Leave the house in handcuffs as the criminal, the outlandish and disrespectful son who should be ashamed of myself when I was the victim all along....hard to find peace in your anger, hard to forgive your abuser. But its easy to be better and not look back, whatever form that takes #stopchildsexualabuse #stopchildabuse #victim #staypositive #moveforward https://www.instagram.com/p/CROC9Dts9iK/?utm_medium=tumblr

[parkerayers]

Who am I, who am I to you? Heard that recently and its extremely easy to say I don't know. Do we listen to the people that love us and adore us or the ones who critique and believe us to be less than? Whos right? Can listen to yourself but what do I know outside of what others see? What makes you love me more than any other? What made you believe me to be worthless and give me up when I was born, what instinct drove you to tell me ill never about to anything but then apologize and say you have nothing but the upmost faith? Who am I, who am I to you? #selflove #selfworth #whoami #poetryisntdead https://www.instagram.com/p/CRLMsLUsa6e/?utm_medium=tumblr

[parkerayers]

I do deeply apologize if anyone has noticed I've been gone for awhile and would comeback periodically. Been dealing with some really painful things in my personal life and haven't been able to maintain things how I would like. My wife has been nothing but loving and supportive through it and again, I sincerely apologize #poetryisntdead #poetryofinstagram #imsorry #imtrying #mentalhealthmatters https://www.instagram.com/p/CRDx8e-MRWC/?utm_medium=tumblr

[parkerayers]

First submission requested that im posting on my patreon. Submissions are 5 bucks easy and 10 for something plenty more personal. Charities, for the one you love or just something playful. I would be honored if I could make something for you #patreon #writingismyfreedom #writingforfun #poetryislife #rain https://www.instagram.com/p/COPYBIPs-Yr/?igshid=1ai0xz2hc2whx

[parkerayers]

Sample of my work you'd find on my patreon. Im passionate about my work and I don't write something jnelss it matters to me or I can really feel it. Im an aspiring writer/poet and I would love s chance to make something just for you or for someone you care for. #aspiringwriter #aspiringpoet #hearmenow #poetry #lovers https://www.instagram.com/p/COM3Hv0sjCY/?igshid=mzmdwbhjyw8k

[parkerayers]

Yes imma mess but I'm blessed to be stuck with you. Couldnt hide it if I wanted to, couldnt lie if I wanted to. Nothing but transparent #love #poetryofinstagram #poetrylovers #writersofig https://www.instagram.com/p/COMrRp1s9IV/?igshid=1fls65sq0nj9

[parkerayers]

I made a patreon today, not sure if anyone would be interested but I made a couple tiers for it. There i post every day, I make something new or a new idea atleast everyday. Also if anyone wants anything made for them, a love letter, an I miss you note to a family member, a note to give to a crush giving it your all or nothing, I would be more than happy to make that for you. Even just need help expressing your feelings towards something and you can't find the words. I would be honored to do that for you. #patreon #patreoncreator #patreonwriter #writercommunity #poetryisntdead #writer https://www.instagram.com/p/CN_QYc_MQa0/?igshid=1xm6ryyodhx00

[parkerayers]

Day 1

No longer sad because I'm sad, now I'm sad because I'm happy. Im sad because I'm no longer sad and not understanding how to handle said feeling. No longer sleep for its a companion of the weak, believing this but knowing its me who is weak. Succumbing to my dreams, most would call nightmares but they've become a standard for me. Love to casually joke that im dead inside but how could I ever be dead if I've never felt alive?

[parkerayers]

Always hard coming jnto stability or any sort of comfort after going through a tougher life or situation. But it'll get easier, just takes time #youredoinggreat #keepitup ##poetsofig #poetrycommunity https://www.instagram.com/p/CN0uhN0st_C/?igshid=1ichhat1fbqty

[parkerayers]

Isnt this supposed to a happy place?

Nothing hurts more than never forgetting

Nothing eats at you more than your own mind being your biggest antagonist

Bad dreams, nightmares become a stable norm

Depression and anxiety become to comfortable

Afraid to sleep at night cause you know memory after memory will flood in

Night after night

Even wide awake throughout the day

Does it ever get better?

Can it even get better?

I hope so

[parkerayers]

A single second

Not a single second can I forget, not s singular moment of peace, not even a slight intermission. I have no comfort in my mind but I happily will tell you I'm fine. So full at times it hearts. My thoughts sicken me, my own memories I detest more than anything. Pains me more than anything knowing they all revolve around you. You. What more can be said and how much more energy do you deserve from me? Screaming in my freezer for you to stop, sneaking away in to the back at work just to tell you to leave me alone so I don't seem crazy. I've had enough. But who can I tell? No one would understand. Its in the past, let it go, don't worry. Just forget them, move on. Easy for you to say, or maybe not. I wish I could forget for even a moment, just a single moment, a single second of peace.