passionesolja - Tumblr blog

[passionesolja]

Firefox said “fuck you” and logged me out of every mf account and email I had because it updated and force quit itself. Bro im so mad at this stupid ass bitch ass browser because now I gotta talk to support to log back into certain sites that I need. Fuck lmaooo

[passionesolja]

They really taking tiktok away bro I’m sick

[passionesolja]

No offense to Giorno Giovanna but I have to call him out. That man played Bruno like a mf fiddle and got half of Bucci gang wiped out in a week of knowing them. Man didn’t give a fuck. He wanted to be mafia head honcho. I ain’t saying the death didn’t get to him, because he goes from teenager with terrible home life to seeing Leone Abbachio with a softball sized hole I’m his chest within like 3-4 days. But shit didn’t get to him get to him. Bro hardly knew anybody in Bucci Gang’s names when they started dropping. They was disposable to him because if bro gave a fuck about them, he would’ve said “nah time to back off this” when Bruno died and he had to him into a zombie

I get why La Squadra went out how they did. They had to spin for Sorbet and Gelato. Plus, they’re experienced hitmen so you know they know how to poker face shit. But giorno did not give a fuck about Bucci Gang as people. Not on a deep emotional level. He was the new kid that Bruno dragged in. But it’s how could he? He only knew Bucci gang formally for 168 hours.

I got love for lil bro but I cannot act like he gave a fuck on the level that somebody like Mista or Fugo did.

[passionesolja]

Ultra Jump May 2024 cover feat. The Jojolands.

[passionesolja]

i think that people should start using “in poor taste” as a descriptor again given it is often the most applicable and clearest phrase when discoursing about media and analysis; sometimes a piece of art isn’t actually THE most problematic thing of all time is is. ​just in poor taste (not JUST in poor taste as a reductive take on potential harm but/and as in regardless of intent the impact is this was an offensive or stupid take/choice)

[passionesolja]

[passionesolja]

Ascended Astarion fans wild to me because like at least with Dio Brando, it isn’t a “daddy said on your knees, kitten. You’re a Spawn so can’t disobey😈” situation because Dio doesn’t use vampire mind control on mfs when they’re hooking up, they come to him because he’s handsome and got evil charisma. You know all his babymamas missed him, never had to make them a vampire puppet for them to have his kids. Hell, he gave them a sexy picture as a parting gift like he lowkey a gentlemen

[passionesolja]

My mans, Dio Brando, is a deadbeat babydaddy. Your mans could NEVER steal the body of his main opp and then use said-opp to have an unknown number of kids, thus grafting himself into the Joestar family tree without them even knowing

Beefing wit Astarion girlies rn bc my British pansexual vampire with daddy issues is better than theirs. How many babymamas does Astarion have? 0

[passionesolja]

Beefing wit Astarion girlies rn bc my British pansexual vampire with daddy issues is better than theirs. How many babymamas does Astarion have? 0

[passionesolja]

You’re underestimating Dio Brando here lol. Even as a teenager, this man caught a body. From everything we know about Astarion, he was a privileged elf twink from Baldur’s Gate. He wasn’t thugging like Dio Brando was. If you put grown man Phantom Blood (pre-vampire) Dio against Astarion, Astarion is losing.

Astarion is weak as hell, flimsy as hell, and a noble. He could not survive Dio Brando in any age group but at least against teenage Dio, he’d have a height advantage. If Dio Brando had a Jonathan Joestar level beef with Astarion, he would 100% find a way to get rid of him. He was beefing with his dad and got him gone.

Am I saying it would be an easy fight for Teenage Dio? No, but he could totally do it because Astarion is just weak and got no fighting ability. It’d be more equal than Vampire Dio vs Astarion, granted. Dio is strong willed because he ends up having a Stand too.

I’m not saying they wouldn’t have to tussle, but Astarion just isn’t built like Dio Brando is.

[passionesolja]

I gotta disagree. Jonathan is WAY stronger than Astarion is. Astarion has 8 Strength as a grown ass man. Jonathan Joestar has like 13 strength as a teenager. He still beat Jonathan’s ass (the first time). Dio Brando is lifting up 150 (averaging the weight here) Great Danes and manhandling them into furnaces. Even if he poisoned the dog and making it sleep, that’s still a heavy ass animal he’s hoisting up and into one them things. Astarion is probably like 150 soaking wet. Dio Brando could physically overpower this man as a teenager because he’s already beefing with dogs that are heavier. Cazador had Astarion seducing people, not fighting. And we know Astarion’s magistrate ass wasn’t squaring up like Dio did for most of his life. Dio’s Stand (the personification of his soul) is a melee fighting Stand, like that’s how much squaring up is apart of him.

Astarion is 5’9, not an athletic bone in his body. Like okay he’s tall for an elf. Full grown OG body Dio Brando is 6’0, got real hands as teenager, and plays rugby in college. Astarion is a twink, like yeah he got a 17 Dex, but his constitution is 14 and intelligence is 13. Dio Brando as a teenager is working with at least a 16 dexterity (bc he be ducking and dodging punches and bottles), and a 15 constitution with a 16 intelligence.

This isn’t even the psychological warfare that Dio Brando is known for. Astarion has never once shown that he’s actually cut like that. He’s a victim who acts a lil quirky and edgy, he’s never been shown to be on the level of mental tormentor that Dio Brando is.

I do not think that Astarion could do anything to Dio Brando because yeah he’s a grown ass man but he’s the weakest most posh and nobleman ass grown man around

[passionesolja]

Finally speaking on this but Astarion Girlies y’all insane like teenage Dio Brando was boxing mfs with 14 strength (I think that’s how strong teenage Jonathan Joestar would be in DnD terms) and whooping their ass while tryna take out their eye through a boxing glove, ducking and dodging them too, throwing Great Dane dogs in furnaces out of spite, poisoning his abusive father to death, almost stabbing another person after he gets his ass whooped. That elf twink could not beat Dio Brando in a death match. I only choose teenage Dio because grown ass man Phantom Blood vampire Dio Brando would fuck Astarion up instantly. Y’all are insane for this like please do your homework on this man he was a menace. Shawty, this man was a teenager and kneeing Danny the Great Dane in the face because he wanted to. His ass don’t give a fuck and he’d probably hate Astarion for being more rich and posh.

If a teenage Dio Brando learned about Astarion’s tragic backstory, Astarion would go through psychological warfare that he’s never endured before. Like Dio Brando turned Jonathan Joestar’s only surviving parent and all his friends against him because he had a one-sided beef and wanted Jonathan miserable. Bro made Jonathan Joestar’s life hell and isolated for no reason. Astarion says “oh let’s tear him apart” but doesn’t even do shit. Dio gets busy

[passionesolja]

Dio's spectacular green fur coat from the new Phantom Blood musical deserves fan art of its own.

[passionesolja]

On a mission to get every picture I can of Dio in the uglass hideous green fur coat that he serves cunt in

[passionesolja]

thank you araki... thank you

[passionesolja]

Since Dio Brando popped out with that fuckass Teal fur coat I have not known peace. Why the fuck it look like he skinned the Grinch ?

[passionesolja]

You know, I don't remember this part of the Phantom Blood manga