peectimes

[peectimes]

Haring Araw is quite bright early in the morning. While the kids are inside their rooms, I'm letting the sun kiss my weakened mind and body. I am thinking about the "WHY" again. Too many WHYs: why me, why my life, why my kids' family, why my kids' lives. If only I could snap and erase the source, as well as mine and the kids' memory of him, I'd be happy. However, kids need him. Another reason? Why did I choose to stay before even though I knew what he was like prior in this awful situation? Ang hirap po, lalo na na fe-feel ko na aware na si kuya sa situation. Tiisin ko nalang makita mukha niya just to provide what my kids wish to be with their daddy. (Kawawa daw kapag iwan namin-Kuya Paul) Bakit kasi di makontento 🤦🏻‍♀️

[peectimes]

I've dreamed of having a complete and happy family. I thought I found the one that would stay with me forever. I thought that one would remain the same as what we were when we first met. All those thoughts fell off with just a person whom he barely knew. He trusted her, he loved her so much according to him. And now I'm thinking, does the 14 years we've shared as a married couple be like a bubble, gone when it pops? How cruel that he easily replaces those years over to months with a girl who loves to stay in bars. Do males right now prefer easygoing chicks to a very humble, good caregiver to their family and an undemanding wife? My mind is all mixed up now. Can't accept everything. Please lead me to a place where I can find relaxation and peace of mind.

[peectimes]

Once I feel the coldness, the distance, I'll ask, and if they don't respond, why do you need to lower yourself, well, in fact, you haven't done anything that could make them act cold. It's fine if they don't want to connect. The world is vast. People come and go. You've done nothing. You're only there for them, but they choose to be cold in the end. Yeah! Let them! Don't chase! Make yourself a priority.

[peectimes]

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. It gives you mixed feelings. I received so many over the last few days that it made me cry, smile, and even rejoice. When things started to get worse. When things became difficult. Remember that everything serves a purpose. Everything has a reason. Surrender and let God guide you.

[peectimes]

Having a friend who comforts and supports you feel like you're not alone. Even if you're in the midst of struggles, when that friend finds time to check if you're fine, you feel secure. What if that friend suddenly creates distance? Not knowing the reason, why? The awkwardness, the change of tone, the change of conveying phrases. And then you'll ask, what happened? Did I do something that makes that person upset? Did I do wrong? Unfortunately, I'm not the type to chase for an answer. I'll wait for that person's explanation. And I am sure, I've done nothing wrong. Letting everything grow the gap until that person decides to approach. If not, why bother? Just go with the flow of your life. Nothing makes you less. Be grateful for all that person has done.

[peectimes]

If destiny will be generous to me in the future. Praying for someone who's with me through ups and downs. Who could accept me, my imperfections, and my two baggage. That can be with them in every event of their lives. Could give respect and guts to tell me to fix something that could retain the commitment we are into. I don't need a perfect man, I need someone that could be a better father to them and a respectful partner to me. But for now, I'm not looking for him, I'll let him look for me. As I said, if destiny becomes too generous and grants me the right person who will not disregard, disrespect, and neglect me.

[peectimes]

Loving Me

Loving Alone

Can now balance uncontrollable moods

Can now balance duties

No need to please someone

No Control from someone

Letting go my worries

Letting go my pains

I'm controlling myself

I'm free to do anything

Cause I'm a free ME ❤️

[peectimes]

Have you ever tried sitting in a crowded place wishing it was empty? Have you ever longed to talk to someone personally but that person is far from you? Have you ever wished to feel happy even though your chest was in pain? So many questions. So many thoughts. So many wishes. That's how a person falls in love. We felt happiness and eventually, the pain started all the way. If that pain can't be resolved or not given attention that would become your regret. Regret that I let everything complicated at the very first we can fix it. There are so many buts and what-ifs. Hoping individuals like me can go through this stage. I hope everybody will move on and realize that you still have love and happiness. Love and happiness can be seen within ourselves. Let the pain sink in us but don't let the pain deprive us of self happiness.

[peectimes]

A person is a master of deception. Do you think they'll cry right away if they're in a bad situation? No! They'll make up their faces and pretend to laugh just to appear happy, but the truth is that being hides its pain because people are cruel. Others will mock you instead of supporting you. The world is now engulfed in rage and jealousy. Let us think positively. Let's be optimistic. Also, be positive.

[peectimes]

Memories

I've got pain and happy memories with you.

Both memories when I recall them, make my heart beat fast in happiness and sadness.

You've got this vibe of being a nonchalant person.

You're calm, you're so rare in showing your love, scarce in showing how special I am to you. The thought that you're still with me ignores it all.

That's how I love you.

But as time passes. I did realize, I too need to receive love, care, and attention.

Confronted you, you did what I've asked but after a day or two back to what you are.

Here comes the disloyalty.

Chances here and there! Forgiveness this and that. Forget just to save everything.

But enough is enough.

I need respect too. I love you! You know that but I love myself more.

So I should be the one who gives respect, love and loyalty to myself.

Those memories we've shared are for keeps including the pain.

Let me be free from everything. Need to build my worth. I need to rebuild me. I'm in healing and going there for more progress

Lastly, praying for your healing too. Heal yourself. Compassing the right path. Be you again without me in your life.

Daisuki ex-husband! Ganbatte Kudasai! Sayonara!

[peectimes]

Currently drowning.

Drowning in accepting that everything is not the same anymore.

However, I need to face it.

It is painful but if I keep curling my body, what will happen?

Will it erase everything?

Will it disappears?

Will it solve by its own?

No, I need to face it and accept that it is what it is now.

Not everything is rainbow,full of cotton candies and pouring hearts.

Love gives life but love gives pain.

I really don't get it!

Why they need to make it complicated?

Why it is hard to just love someone without hurting?

Why do we need to feel pain?

Because it is what it is.

Love gives pain.

Not just sweets and colors.

Because IT IS WHAT IT IS.

[peectimes]

A quote came to mind a few days ago: "First, we eat, then we do everything else." It's stuck in my head, and I'm thinking those words are partially true. On the other hand, I'm thinking that it might not be for everyone. Yes, we need to eat and drink to have enough energy for our daily activities. We require it to remain focused and productive. Consider the people who do not have access to food or clean water. My heart aches just thinking about them. I've seen a few documentaries on poverty, mostly in remote locations. It hurts my heart.

We, as people who can get and drink, must not squander our food. Others, instead of eating and being grateful for the blessings, simply ignore and throw away the food, not realizing that they should be grateful because not everyone can eat and drink regularly.

I believe that educating children at home and in school about the importance of food and drink is a good first step toward respecting food and avoiding waste.

[peectimes]

Time

A term that denotes whether something is slow or fast.

This word has the power to change everything or to resurrect the past.

Time is always present in our daily lives.

It tracks your happiness, sadness, mourning, joy, and excitement; all of the emotions that bond with time.

Some people count time in the same way that they count their days on this planet.

Others are keeping track of how long they can be patient with a particular subject.

However, the majority of us used the time to collect feelings, events, occasions, and memories.

Using time may be just one of our daily routines.

Here's what we should be grateful for.

We have time, which means we have time to live, help others, and repent of our sins.

There is the potential for change from bad to better.

Time has a word for chance as well.

A chance to show what you're capable of.

As long as you have it, as long as you are on it, chances and opportunities must be seized.

Then, when you don't have that word time, you can relax knowing that you did what you needed to do in that amount of time.

[peectimes]

Setting goals in life was very important to me when I was younger.

"If you have it, you can see where you're going," they said.

Holding on to that advice, it appears to be lacking something.

I peeked through my experiences and discovered that goals should be associated with gratification and acceptance.

Living without these words will not give you pleasure about what has arisen to you.

Half of our lives were spent yearning.

Allow ourselves to accept the wisdom from our interactions because gratitude and admitting our paths to our goals appear to be a possibility.