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Ive been a bit under the weather. Here’s a poster about medicinal herbs, many of which im using now. 

*Always, always check for interactions, conflicting medications, or how it may affect preexisting conditions before using any of these for daily practice.  

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Ave Maris Stella Hail, star of the sea, Nurturing Mother of God, And ever Virgin Happy gate of Heaven.

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i haven’t talked about swanqueen in...ages. but last night my girlfriend opened a can of worms she didn’t realize i still had and my broken swen heart had me ranting for hours. god i miss those simpler times

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i think too often about what if.

what if i didn’t give up

what if i didn’t listen

what if i didn’t choose myself

what if i didn’t choose you

but i’m still fucking lost in your eyes, your soul. i don’t think it’s love anymore... i think it’s much darker and dangerous and black than that. i feel empty more than i feel complete, and i wonder if that’s what i wanted? what if i want to be quiet instead of colorful? stop messing with my head.

..

i need a break. i need commitment. i need space. i need kisses. all i’ve dreamt about was being able to trace your skin, and suddenly it wasn’t a dream anymore... it was a nightmare. you swept me up and tossed me to the floor, like wrapping paper on your favorite candy. you got what you wanted. never me.

what if i never move on

what if i never find love again

what if i never love myself

what if i used up all my heartbreaks on you

so listen. i’m over here, driving on the interstate, four hours and counting, two until i’m in your arms. i know we’re gonna fight, i know i’ll end up crying, i know on sunday you’ll regret me, but i’m still fucking driving. because all i think about is that one moment, glimpse, pause— when we’re wrapped up, vulnerable, quiet, and my lips brush your nose. you flutter your lashes, staring at me, your mouth curves up. and then i kiss your smile.

what if i don’t pull the steering wheel

what if i don’t show up

what if i don’t wait for just one more second

what if we were never worth the risk

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sorry not sorry (reference to my old drawing)

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😍😂😍

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by  aykutaydogdu

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by muzikant

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“Say frequently, in the midst of your contradictions and sufferings: This is the path to heaven.”

— St Francis de Sales

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St. Michael Overwhelming the Demon, 1518, Raphael

Medium: oil,canvas

https://www.wikiart.org/en/raphael/st-michael-overwhelming-the-demon-1518

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@thatoneprolifegirl I bought it today! Can’t wait to start.

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Has time stopped?

I haven’t posted in awhile because I feel numb. It’s been a little over 2 months since he left and it feels like 6. I can’t believe we are only 2 months in .. time feels like it has stopped. The #1 comment I get is, “oh the time will fly by before you even know it!” - I am here to tell you that is the most BS thing I’ve ever heard. I know they mean well but time is NOT flying by as I continue to live my life with my husband 5,000+ miles away. He is missing so much and it’s hard to keep him updated when our communication can be so spotty. I try to write things down so I remember to send them in the next email but things slip between the cracks and get missed all the time. I’m so grateful that he is in port right now so I can talk to him on the phone and hear that amazing voice. I couldn’t even be happy to see the 2 month mark because that also means we still have 4x that amount left. Some days it is unbearable to think about. I’m venting hard right now and this is the exact reason I haven’t been posting. Here’s to more wine, more dog cuddles, and 8 more f*^!ing months without him.

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Władysław Czachórski (1850-1911) “The bouquet” Oil on canvas Academicism Currently in a private collection

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The Virgin with Angels, William-Adolphe Bouguereau

Medium: oil,canvas

https://www.wikiart.org/en/william-adolphe-bouguereau/the-virgin-with-angels