petewentz-get-the-stretch - Tumblr blog

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Only hipster posts

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She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.

Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting (1997)

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sweden is choosing a national bird. please vote here

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sweden is getting a national bird. pass it on.

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NOS4A2 is a gem Also mango tea is 10/10 Also this cup is 10/10 Also life

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Your mom

-Me (I'm so sorry)

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😂😂

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Me: When people learn that I'm schizophrenic, they automatically assume I talk to Satan.

Friend: Well, do you?

Me: That's irrelevant to the point I'm trying to make.

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What do you think of the koalas, Mamrie? x x

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the signs as cards against humanity cards

aries: multiple stab wounds

taurus: tasteful sideboob

gemini: a bleached asshole

cancer: the pennywhistle solo from 'my heart will go on'

leo: Michelle Obama's arms

virgo: Bees?

libra: the Tempur-Pedic™ Swedish sleep system

scorpio: an erection that lasts longer than four hours

sagittarius: women in yogurt commercials

capricorn: Stalin

aquarius: an M.Night Shyamalan plot twist

pisces: a homoerotic volleyball montage

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WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THE FRIGGIN PUN 15 of what dead though

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Why do we shame people for their choices? Like everyone want to just feel human. Let's take Jeffery Dahmer for example. I mean, You are what you eat

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Why the hell isn't Nicholas Cage up in here? Cause honey, I'm a National Treasure

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🌸🌸🌸