phoenixfighter99

[phoenixfighter99]

BEHOLD! THE FINAL PRODUCT!!!

*sobs in corner* I actually did not terrible lighting for once in my meager artist life!! I feel so fulfilled!!! 😭😭😭😭

I was going to make this available for purchase as a print with my others, but due to stupid copyright issues, I no longer sell fan art on Etsy, I just do commissions. However, if you would like to purchase this or something similar in the future, I can either create a commission of it (LOOPHOLE!) or I will do my best to figure out a solution regarding prints of this and other fan art I've already done.🥲

[phoenixfighter99]

Life Support Issues

“All right, so… where do you have the plans?” the Rebel technician asked. “An R2 unit like this could have a hundred hiding places.”

R2 beeped and whistled.

“Ah, I see,” Threepio said. “Yes, Artoo has reminded me that in fact the plans are not only in a data card, but also redundantly stored inside his own system – that’s how he was able to access the systems so readily. He will be able to transfer them quite readily through a standard data access port.”

“We can get that set up, sure,” the tech agreed, gesturing, and his assistant brought over a cable.

As he did, though, Threepio looked with interest at his old friend and counterpart.

“Were you supposed to do that?” he asked.

R2 beeped again.

“Yes, I suppose it is a good thing that you did, but I’m asking if you were supposed to,” Threepio replied. “Don’t try and play semantics with me, Artoo.”

R2 provided a long string of bleeps and whistles, and C-3PO stepped back.

“You did?” he asked. “Oh my… well, I suppose I did ask you to do that first one.”

“Do what?” the tech asked, halfway through plugging in the cable.

“Well, we were on the Death Star,” C-3PO replied. “And while rescuing Princess Leia, Master Luke and their friends, I had Artoo shut down all the garbage compactors on the Death Star, and then open the door to the one that they were in. Artoo has informed he that, in fact, he opened all the entrances shortly before we left.”

He made a displeased noise. “In addition, he flushed all the drinkable water into the black water systems, raised the temperature in the food storage areas to two hundred and fourteen degrees centigrade, and sealed the doors to every lavatory on the ship. I am also reliably informed that the artificial gravity generators have been independently set to what he calls ‘shuffle’ and that the plumbing system on the Death Star is comprehensive enough to permit him to transport fluids randomly around the entire plumbing system through a series of several thousand distributed commands which trigger on and off at random, at times ranging from five minutes to three days.”

A pause.

“Also, that reversing the gravity in the shuttle and vehicle maintenance bays produced a quite satisfying crunching sound of valuable equipment breaking. Artoo, did you really have to do all of that?”

R2 whistled, helpfully.

“Yes, I suppose they did blow up Alderaan,” Threepio admitted. “I’m just worried that at this point we might be committing war crimes ourselves.”

“This is becoming ridiculous,” Tarkin said, as blaster fire crackled up and down the corridor. “Half the ship is fighting itself and the other half is trying desperately to find a fresher.”

The firing intensified outside, then Darth Vader loomed imperiously out of the door and the various factions went from exchanging fire to fleeing.

“Have you found anything about what happened?” the Sith Lord asked, returning his attention to Tarkin. “I could believe one of these failures was accidental, but this is clearly deliberate.”

“It has been a little hard to gather information,” the Grand Moff replied, testily. “Since my analyst team is having to defend their access to a shuttle bay which might have an intact shuttle and the last Star Destroyer to try and render assistance was destroyed by two thousand turbolaser batteries all firing on it at once on automatic. But clearly there has been some sort of unauthorized access.”

“The plans,” Darth Vader said, firmly. “The Princess clearly passed them off to someone. The same group as her rescuers… Kenobi’s team. Kenobi is dead, but the smuggler ship must have had a strike team…”

He trailed off.

“But this is the work of an expert slicer,” he resumed. “A normal commando team couldn’t have done this much damage this quickly.”

“There is a report that one of my analysts found,” Tarkin said. “That a golden protocol droid and a blue-white astromech droid were acting suspiciously near Docking Bay 327.”

“Ah,” Darth Vader said, his tone somewhat different. “That explains everything. In fact, I am suspicious that there must be something we have missed.”

“Vader?” Tarkin asked.

“R2 has left us something else,” Vader answered. “I can feel it.”

Tarkin started giggling.

“...ah,” Vader declared. “There it is.”

“Nitrous oxide?” C-3PO asked. “Really?”

R2 whistled.

“I don’t care if you had to improvise and that it’s easily produced from available life support gases,” C-3PO replied, shaking his head. “Really, R2.”

[phoenixfighter99]

Why couldn't we have had this 😭

I don't know who created this, but credit to them. @cat_does_the_arts is the original artist on Instagram. There is no money making of this artwork.

[phoenixfighter99]

No question lol

[phoenixfighter99]

seeing mon and kleya’s thrilling escapes from coruscant makes leia’s first reaction to luke and han even funnier. leia must’ve heard about these highly skilled rebels but then when she gets captured, she gets a hillbilly farmboy and an idiot smuggler to rescue her

[phoenixfighter99]

[phoenixfighter99]

Arcs have their captain now 😁😍

[phoenixfighter99]

When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk: My Tumblr ask is always open.

[phoenixfighter99]

[phoenixfighter99]

GUYS LOOK AT THESE TWOOOO done by the penciler of the Ghost Agents comics!!

[phoenixfighter99]

MILDRED?????

[phoenixfighter99]

Crosshair @ Omega: I can tell you were raised by my brothers because you want to earn money by hustling idiots at sabacc

Omega: Well do you have a better idea?

Crosshair: No, unfortunately I was also raised by my brothers

[phoenixfighter99]

Day 3: Practice

@may01st

[phoenixfighter99]

Y’know one of my favourite tropes? Clones with lightsabers but out of necessity. Rex picking up that laser sword of death as his last effort to defend an unconscious Anakin. Obi-Wan getting blasted across the room, Cody igniting his lightsaber with a look at his General, who just gives him the slowest, solemn nod. Jesse body-tackling Ahsoka out of the way of a blaster bolt and picking up her shoto to deflect the onslaught of fire from droids because it’s the nearest thing he could reach. Wolffe grabbing Plo’s lightsaber and melting his way through near-impenetrable blast doors to rescue him. Bly catching Aayla’s saber in midair to slice a battle droid in half, then tossing it back to her without missing a beat. 

bonus: 

Fox whacking Sheev in the face with his own lightsaber so hard he just kriffin dies. 

[phoenixfighter99]

— requested by manbunjon

[phoenixfighter99]

🫶🫶🫶My favorite wallet🥹♥️💀