phonyastrology - Tumblr blog

[phonyastrology]

Zodiac Signs as NCT Dream Songs

Aries: My Page

Taurus: We Go Up

Gemini: Go

Cancer: We Young

Leo: Trigger the Fever

Virgo: My First and Last

Libra: Chewing Gum

Scorpio: Drippin’ (lol)

Sagittarius: Joy

Capricorn: Walk you home

Aquarius: Dunk Shot

Pisces: 1,2,3

[phonyastrology]

What are the signs for Halloween

Aries: ash ketchum from pokemon

Taurus: a fruit or smth

Gemini: something to make people laugh like jack sparrow

Cancer: smth spooky like a ghost

Leo: their favorite character from a tv show or movie

Virgo: does a cool hip makeup look and diys their outfit

Libra: buys a costume at party city

Scorpio: either goes ALL OUT or doesn't dress up bc they are salty that Halloween is the same day as their birthday

Saggitarius: a lame pun like eggs benedict cucumberbatch

Capricorn: costume is somehow politically offensive

Aquarius: wears a "caution wet floor sign" sign

Pisces: something funky like a gypsy devil witch mermaid princess

[phonyastrology]

The signs as these songs

Swish swish bish: Taurus, Leo, Virgo, Saggitarius, Capricorn, Aquarius

Look what you made me do: Aries, Gemini, Cancer, Libra, Scorpio, Pisces

[phonyastrology]

The signs as instruments

Aries: cello

Taurus: trumpet, cowbell

Gemini: clarinet, kazoo

Cancer: tambourine

Leo: bass, banjo

Virgo: violin

Libra: drums, harmonica

Scorpio: guitar (any type)

Sagittarius: saxophone

Capricorn: piano

Aquarius: viola, triangle

Pisces: xylophone

*check sun and moon

[phonyastrology]

The signs as Dat Boi

Here come dat boiiiiiii!!!: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius

Oh shit wadduppp!!: Aries, Taurus, Libra

Dem lads have arrived (oh snap what be the news): Cancer, Capricorn

Hey that guy is here (oh dang hello): Leo, Aquarius, Pisces

That boy is coming over here: Scorpio

[phonyastrology]

Things I do when I'm sick

Dramatic tear out of only the eye directly above my sinus infection: Leo, Scorpio

Cry bc the ugliness is asymmetrical as a result: Libra, Capricorn

Cry when my sister records me for no reason/while I'm crying: Taurus, Cancer

Pick my nose with a tissue: Aries, Aquarius

Cry from nosebleeds: Sagittarius, Pisces

Cry from staring at my phone screen: Gemini, Virgo

[phonyastrology]

The signs as things I've gotten for my birthday

Donuts: taurus, leo, virgo

A garden gnome: cancer, aquarius, pisces

Fire mixtape: gemini, libra, sagittarius

Rejection: aries, scorpio, capricorn

[phonyastrology]

Mealtimes ⚔🍖

Breakfast: Leo

Leakfast: Aries

Brunch: Virgo

Lunch: Pisces

Lack: Gemini

Tea Time Snack: Cancer

Linner: Libra

Supper: Capricorn

Dinner: Scorpio

Dunch: Sagittarius

Midnight Snack: Taurus

4 am snack: Aquarius

[phonyastrology]

Signs as Drinks

Aries: coffee ho

Taurus: red wine mom

Gemini: vodka aunt/uncle

Cancer: lemonade baby

Leo: mango juice kiddo

Virgo: sprite lover

Libra: fanta bich

Scorpio: coke ho

Sagittarius: ginger ale ho

Capricorn: apple cider ho

Aquarius: rum pirate

Pisces: tea elderly

[phonyastrology]

Presidential Candidates

Donald Trump: Gemini, Leo, Capricorn

Bernie Sanders: Aries, Cancer, Virgo

Hillary Clinton: Libra, Scorpio, Pisces

Ted Cruz: Taurus, Sagittarius, Aquarius

[phonyastrology]

everything was blue

his jair: aries, aquarius, scorpio, cancer,  his jorts: sagittarius, leo, libra, pisces,  his joots: taurus, gemini, capricorn, virgo

[phonyastrology]

Leo, Capricorn

[phonyastrology]

Gemini.

Saw a guy protesting winter

[phonyastrology]

Other tumblr users: Aries, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn Me: Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces

[phonyastrology]

The signs as The Jean Meme

Aries: jirt (jean shirt)

Taurus: joots (jean boots)

Gemini: jandals (jean sandals)

Cancer: jeanie (jean beanie)

Leo: jat (jean hat)

Virgo: jencils (jean pencils)

Libra: jort jorts (jean shorts)

Scorpio: jants (jean pants)

Sagittarius: joodie (jean hoodie)

Capricorn: jocks (jean socks)

Aquarius: jeggings™ (jean leggings)

Pisces: jank jop (jean tank top)