Note
which 3 US presidents do you think would be the best omegas and which 3 bisexual pop stars would be their best matched alphas
1) John Adams

John Adams was a tireless advocate for the revolution (i.e. topping from the bottom) and he once described himself as "obnoxious, suspected, and unpopular" - "he was known for his bluntness, impatience, and tendency to be easily frustrated with those who disagreed with him." As a brat in Congress, his personality was repulsive, but everyone listened to him and they all still wanted him. They wanted him so bad they made him president. Kind of makes you think.
His match:

Adams needs someone with a strong personality to challenge his - someone who's not afraid to repel the mainstream in order to realize their vision. Gaga has it, and he needs it. "Bad Romance" in many way encompasses Adams' struggles through the 1776 Continental Congress. They could teach each other much.
2) Theodore Roosevelt

A man dedicated to the preservation of natural parks and ecological wonders - and for what? To run through the trees under the full moon as his pheromones wafted through the air? We know.
His match:

Grimes once described herself as becoming "way less gay" after she became pregnant, which is 1) weird, and 2) the reason I'm sticking her with Teddy. I don't think that he could fix her completely, but she seems the type to maintain no moral compass of her own, simply adopting the political ideology of whomever she's with, so maybe there's hope. Maybe Grimes could introduce Teddy to shrooms, and Teddy could take her out on trips in the forest. And then we can find out if Grimes getting a man pregnant makes her more or less gay.
3) Richard Nixon

Best known for his one legendary debate with the handsome JFK, wherein he became a stuttering, sweating mess, unable to focus or say what he meant. Interesting!
His match:

Bisexual icon Taylor Swift is also struggling to appease both sides of the political aisle. They could share their woes and their love of good ol' fashioned Americana, and then Taylor could tie him to the wall and make him bark like a dog. The pregnancy would be difficult on both of them with Taylor's extremely busy schedule, and Nixon would regrettably terminate it in the second trimester, causing a rift in the relationship that would never be mended. The resulting laments that Taylor composed about Nixon's abortion would of course be dissected and attributed to a secret relationship with a woman - Nixon's wife.
I welcome critical analysis.
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.
44K notes
·
View notes
Text
is anyone else also doing ultimately fine + dying of stress + it’s not that bad + if i don’t wake up tomorrow hotter and better at every hobby its fucking over for me
31K notes
·
View notes
Text
when i was a kid my favorite restaurant of all time was bubba gump shrimp co which if you’re not familiar is mediocre to bad tourist food and i loved it bc they have these license plates that tell the server if you need attention or not. they say “run forest run” if you wanna be left alone and “stop forest stop” if you need a server for something
my partner asked me why i liked it so much bc as a child i did not like shrimp and i realized it’s bc i did NOT want any strangers talking to me more than necessary 😭😭😭😭 and no one suspected me of being neurodivergent???????????? ok
0 notes
Text
i wish i could show people how foundational Homestuck is in Undertale, its story & its development. like at this point, ten years later, id say that the majority of Undertale fans are aware of a connection between the two works but chalk it up to “this thing Toby Fox used to be into” or “this thing that has a couple jokes/references in Undertale” and whilst those things are both true in a limited sense, they’re massive understatements about the shared dna between Homestuck & Undertale
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
*first time using gay slang* you look like you're wearing a wig!! and you look like a cunt!!!
39K notes
·
View notes
Text
Imagine you have your 15 minutes of fame as a national hero and you write a nice little memoir and they even make a movie where Tom Hanks plays you and you move on with your life and spent over a decade fading back into anonymity and then out of the blue some twisted fuck gets his hands on your story does this on national television

1K notes
·
View notes
Text
loading Swagg…
███████████████████
100% Complete
105K notes
·
View notes
Text
Beth McCarthy gives trans fan new name
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
chickens (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) + view here
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
The beauty of tumblr is that some people here think that cigarettes get you high and drinking once a week makes you an alcoholic, while others here started smoking at 13 and wouldn't even consider ketamine a drug because everyone does it. And both of them are on tumblr blogging about TV shows from 2005.
40K notes
·
View notes
Text
(no children, the mountain goats/US politics)
37K notes
·
View notes