poems-in-progress-blog

[poems-in-progress-blog]

Throwing Roses

I am bigger than my problems Like a snowflake to a giant Sometimes they cover me

My insecurities are hiding Behind a smile and good days But in my mind I'm always crying Just like a warm summer rain

All I do is give my heart out Like throwing roses to a stage Coming back to me in pieces Why do I expect a change?

In the day you're always shinin’ Giving sunlight to the shade And we had everything in common Always said we had it made

Did you leave because you loved me? Or because you never did?

I would've known by now If I loved you how You always wanted me to

All I do is give my heart out Like throwing roses to a stage Coming back to me in pieces Why do I expect a change?

I bottle up all of my feelings And let them out when I feel safe But after all this constant leaving I do not know if I'll find peace in me

[poems-in-progress-blog]

Blood From A Stone

Last year I turned twenty one,

my dad thought I turned twenty.

Although he did reach out to call me,

he was three days too early.

I’ll never get to know who my mom married.

The man who helped birth me, or man lack thereof,

was a sperm donor in some ways,

a smokey heart, incapable of love.

Last week was New Years,

he wished me a happy one.

But I was still in the past,

since he forgot the time zone.

I’ll never get to know who my mom fell in love with,

the one who won her heart, but not anymore.

The woman he vowed to love forever, and swore,

to raise and protect wherever his kids were.  

Today is just another day

where I am all alone.

But my mother once told me,

you can’t draw blood from a stone.

[poems-in-progress-blog]

The Fact We’ve Never Been

I spent a while thinking,

of things that I knew.

You do enjoy drinking,

making art,

buying shoes.

I needed to be different,

as I am,

something new.

I don’t celebrate Christmas,

but this year,

in fact,

I did,

for you.

I could cop out,

get you pencils and pens,

instead I dug deeper,

to make you

speechless.

Since Dolly is the queen

of your life it seems,

something relative to that

and your dog, Hershey.  

I wrote you some letters

that accompanied the other,

I think

like the Beatles song,

And I Love Her.

Slightly romantic,

as it should be,

what keeps me up

is the fact we’ve never been.

[poems-in-progress-blog]

Blue Eyed Lover

All this time I have been wondering,

bringing this idea,

if we start over, would you move in, and

go through life together?

Although you’re far, someway, somehow,

I’ll love you past, present, future, now.

Live in this dream forever.

Come to me, my blue eyed lover,

although we’ll fight, since we’re both stubborn,

the hearts we have are like no other.

Hear me sing your name through halls for days, and all the

eerie nights will fall away.

Reach to me when you are unsafe,

I’ll be the hero who saves your day.

Now come on closer, my blue eyed lover,

each heart of ours is like no other.

Hear me out, my Taurus moon,

I think my heart is meant for you.

Let me say, I’ve been confused,

less time together is not time well used.

[poems-in-progress-blog]

Myself, I Know

Every day is different,

but often is the same.

I put on old clothes,

positions never change.

Even at my best,

I am held back,

for thoughts in my head,

convince me I’m sad.

No matter what I do,

what I say or who I see,

the broken man across keeps frowning at me.

I can’t escape that, of course,

it’s a mirror, I know,

what I can’t force,

or control for that matter,

after writing things out,

I often get sadder.

Instead of forgetting,

I remember,

since it’s in ink somewhere forever.

An often reminder for how I once felt,

a daunting reminder for how I dealt,

with all my problems,

my issues,

my faults.

One thing I can promise,

to myself and my friends,

is that giving up to me,

makes zero fucking sense.

[poems-in-progress-blog]

I Ran, Too

We had been together for a handful of months,

things went well, but never mentioned love.

I began to realize we lost touch,

she tucked it away and never budged.

I can’t lie, I ran too,

cause sometimes living a lie is better than the truth.

Until it caught up, things felt fine,

we got together, and it was time.

I knew how these were started,

except how they were worded.

It hung from a thread,

and float above our heads.

“I don’t think we should date anymore.”

At least we agreed, “Yeah, I feel that way too.”

She left me with, “I would’ve known by now if I loved you.”

[poems-in-progress-blog]

Repetition

Look out to the field,

a captive deep red,

but what if I told you,

we switch them instead?

This time the thorns,

all covered in dirt,

represent love,

because it does hurt.

A tempting dark rose,

all fresh in the sun,

if you only knew,

just what it had done.

So towards it you go,

a slow paced walk,

a few steps more,

and then you stop.

With gentle hands

and softer heart,

you’re pricked,

and have drawn

blood across your arm.

A slight curse escapes

with remaining breath,

hope no one has heard

just what has been said.

Now the lesson learned,

is stay far,

from what makes you,

past tense,

bled.

Cause what hurts the most,

saves you from pain,

again.

[poems-in-progress-blog]

Nor, Nor, Nor

I was searching in a haystack,

for a needle, of course.

It seemed a little dangerous,

I went slow at first.

I put on old gloves,

and got to work.

But I wasn’t on a field,

nor farm,

nowhere real.

I looked not through hay,

nor grass,

nor straw.

I found myself lost,

at the bottom of it all.

The needle was not steel,

nor glass,

nothing real.

I was searching for love,

something to feel.