poetrynexus

[poetrynexus]

"It's midnight."

PNX

A knock on the door.

You know who it is.

You can guess why.

You don't want to open it.

Of course, you do.

And it's her again.

And she's like that again.

Did you hope for better?

It's midnight.

Acting cute but slurring.

Not at first, but it slips out.

You bite back the words to be civil.

The drama comes in waves.

Her ex, blah-blah, is bad.

Her life is blah-blah and hard.

You comfort her at a distance.

She leaves, changes her mind.

Knocks again and invites.

You enter and sit separate.

Tiny oranges offered but ignored.

She falls asleep in waves.

Says your dreams need fixing.

Says your ideas are not worth it.

You play with the cat in silence.

Next day, an hour of sleep gotten,

The knock happens again.

She wants to be driven around.

You decline, she begrudgingly accepts.

You sleep with heart racing.

You wish those years away.

She only knocks when she's needy.

You notice his truck in the driveway.

[poetrynexus]

"Blackheart Billie"

PNX

Billie Billie Billie

With your black staged heart

Hold me up, Burn me up

Tear me apart

Billie Billie Billie

With your black staged heart

You're only thing I wanna start

Over

And I know

You're an asshole

But baby so am I

So we've got that so

What do you say

Do we make the play

Do we dare to dance around

And see what we'll say

Oh, Billie

You're so vein

You probably think that

Stop telling me that I matter to you

[poetrynexus]

"System of Shutdown"

PNX

The ride has slowed down

You're in a dip

You'll have it for weeks

You can't leave

Not alive anyway

The coastal splash of guilt rises

Shame for everything you are

All believers are punished

A drop off, a ledge, a chasm

The abyss awaits awake in arrival

There is a climb ahead

An uphill force with electric motions

New poetry to get rid of sad words

Boasting elaborate reflections

Forgetting to buckle up

[poetrynexus]

"Bolt on"

PNX

Bullet brigade homophones.

Moral pornographic sanctuaries.

Bolt on luggage for humans overseas.

What need of they for time?

What time are they for needs?

What are they?

Easy as stars they bloom.

Vulgar ways no longer alive.

Crusts of apathy splinter / fade.

People need words like iron.

Fancy talk cheaper and scouring.

Bolt on nightmares for sale.

[poetrynexus]

"Arcade Smile"

PNX

She comes for me

With an arcade smile,

Begging for my input,

Aching for my quarters.

She carves me for an ancient pyre,

A thing tied up for all her ire.

Her blood is like Vonnegut wine.

Eyes that convict me all the time.

Alms that beckon, burst, and glide.

Pauline obscene with cotton cornrows.

Machiavellian alien antics and spiders.

Needles push inside sparkly thoughts.

A little bit of her confiding in me.

She comes for me

With an arcade smile,

Counting her credits early,

Becoming difficult on purpose.

[poetrynexus]

"Disinfectant Youth"

PNX

Pocketful of six blades

Spray-cans full of Lysol

Dancing round with hand grenades

Our mouths full of bath salts

Disinfectant Youth

We want your abuse

Clean it up for you

We offer our excuse

Chemistry is on the loose

Using FOMO as motivation

Fear of missing out on our salvation

Blue-ball factories making our products

Ingesting chemicals that

will ultimately rot us

[poetrynexus]

"Holding Electric Spiders"

PNX

Hands twitching for action

Dexterity failing to contextualize

Can't stop wanting to move

Vaporwave to cut down edges

Bouncing souls to gain harmony

Balancing tricks of talk and mind

Speeding along a littered country

Tingles spider under my skin

Felt only by the heart of confusion

Music slides across body into ears

Dancing in public

Knowing how shy you are

Can't contain the whole

Shouts of frustration nearby

Pulse of commerce whistles

Electric spiders guide me on

Amazing experience if not ruined

Hands twitching for action

Bowels shifting and textures itch

The only way out is forward

[poetrynexus]

"Valley of Open Sores"

PNX

Walking through the

Valley of Open Sores

is still a major let down

as warping carcasses approach,

as putrid waves mutate,

as hollow trees bloom and corrode,

as rotting birds explode in rainbows.

Months stretched into moments ago,

flying headlong at that morphine sun,

after our carbide lifelines dissolve

past our cowardly lover's lullabies,

as you saunter through my doorway.

You slink naked once again,

toward my torn sofa and insanity,

as hungry, oily passion slides our skin,

as we grip, grunt, thrust, and moan,

"Let's face eternity today", you grin.

"We'll bite bastards heads off," she said, "We'll make holographic saviors proud,

as idiot time flies ahead of itself,

stupid, pointless, and around,

as rusty electric spiders run amok

upon a bloody field that's screaming,

we'll burn black the mirror sky above,

this Valley of Open Sores and Dreaming."

[poetrynexus]

"Don't think about it."

PNX

Don't think about it

As the cutting ribbons rot

And choking chains rust

Don't think about it

The fuel pump exploding

The breeze eating you

The whispers fading

A dirty mirror cracking

Don't think about it

As the bell rings sharp

And the bedroom sweat stains

Don't think about it

The humble Clockwork junkies

The bitter hints of despair

The thoughts you'll have tomorrow

A knife edging closer to the spot

Don't think about it

As you lie at the ceiling

And pace around noting the exits

[poetrynexus]

"Endless"

PNX

Solitary: easy to find

Hard to keep

All I crave now

The blurs, the faceless buzz about

I don't want to deal

With them

With myself

Hate bubbles within

Without release or pleasure

All focus is on not dying

Not feeling any more than barely useful

This endless

Is endless

And choking me

The only way happy

Is through pain

Solitary: empty and bereft

Solitary: all I know and harbor

It's endless and

These motions of life bore me.

[poetrynexus]

Chaos begats Truth.

Truth becomes Order.

All novels start with a scene.

All plots as yet unseen.

Chaos becomes Order,

write the scenes and realities form.

Characters will speak and dance.

Natures will bloom and bewilder.

All novels start with a scene...

mayhap a scene such as this comment,

a stranger's scrawlings on a wall,

stuttering rainbows and fighting shadows.

He doesn't plan on all this but...

Chaos begats Truth.

Truth becomes Order.

All plots as yet unseen.

All novels start with a scene.

"... a pirates life for me.." (2022)

PNX

[poetrynexus]

"Exasperated"

PNX

My death will not be an answer

It will not be slow

As long as I write it down

It will take a lifetime

The streets will not rejoice

Mourners will be few and estranged

My death will not be an answer

It only can be a question

These walls don't laugh anymore

This beast rumbles along, numb

Sunshine blinds me

Darkness buries me

Shadows never vanish completely

Intimacy is a four-letter word

I don't believe my passions anymore

I stare ahead, unwilling

I speak alone, unhearing

All I want... is an honest ending

Something to achieve something

My death will not be an answer

[poetrynexus]

"The Corridor"

PNX

There is no turning back.

The door behind you has no handle.

There is only the corridor.

The walls are concrete, thick, and white.

Dark floor, flat ceiling, and a useless sign.

A mounted fan drones monotonously.

It reeks of that cheap floral plugin.

Bright lights hum above, unwavering.

Echoes smash back as you clap, testing.

A place to drown if you were on fire.

Even your thoughts are too loud here.

There is only a single door ahead.

A familiar brown one, always unlocked.

You know how it only leads back here.

You know the handle is stiff but easy.

Pushing the door open gives you hope.

A rush of misplaced air and flowers.

The door closes calmly behind you.

How you got here is unimportant.

How you can leave here is uncertain.

There is no turning back.

There is only the corridor.

[poetrynexus]

"But"

PNX

Hey, I can't wait to

Kill myself tomorrow

Because I have too

Much to do today

But, hey, I can't wait

While we mindless masturbate

To this song and it's wrong to

Think of ourselves in an indifferent way

Oh sure, I'll be there

But first I must wash my hair

And maybe to play a round of solitaire

While you're out there

Gazing, grazing, perfectly arranging

Debating, frustrating, gambling away

Tithes that were earmarked for you

In the account that you were born

Hey, I can't wait to

Kill myself tomorrow

But maybe I'll just stay in and

Reschedule for another day, cool?

[poetrynexus]

"BG Noise"

PNX

My life is a waste

Of forced wave of time

My choices are poison

I hate everything about you

Including myself

I keep thinking about

Slitting my wrist or mouth

But my fear of commitment

Will override my lust for now

I'm singing songs about suicide

Making them up as I believe

My lies were perfect for saving

Bullet points for me for dying

Inside of my rented house

[poetrynexus]

"Roadside goods"

PNX

Cut trees for lanes

Dirt, stone, asphalt

Build bridges between

Make enough for commerce

Make them forget the forest

Trees are for decorations

Flowers are for status

Big trucks hog the lanes

Not because they want to

But because too many trees

Standing defiant to empires

Forgetting that they allow us

To believe we are in charge

[poetrynexus]

"Car-Sex is impossible alone."

PNX

Encased in steel and glass

Pointing imaginary weapons

At ordinary people gazing

Screaming out of nowhere

Boiling with impotent rage

Feigning calm until chasing

Hundred miles fast and closing

Turn off alarm same as before

Wiping thoughts away from fights

Barking up at everyone sane

Encased in steel and glass

Boiling over with impotent rage