pointmetotheundertow

[pointmetotheundertow]

If Will and Mike kiss, I want it to feel absolutely NOTHING like the very young, very awkward kisses we've seen happen between El and Mike.

I want it to be painfully obvious it's like NOTHING we've been shown.

If Will and Mike kiss, everyone will know this is what's been missing, because it won't be a dry, fleeting thing. No.

It will be NOTHING like that.

And, trust me, everyone will know.

[pointmetotheundertow]

"Where were you when I was lonesome?

Locked away with freezing cold

Someone flying, only stolen

I can't tell, this night's so old

I don't wanna swim the ocean

I don't wanna fight the tide

I don't wanna swim forever

When it's cold I'd like to die"

[pointmetotheundertow]

To me there’s still something so strangely intimate about the Snow Ball kiss between El and Mike. It’s so… touching, in like a familiar, sad sort of way. And before you shoot me, let me explain.

When I watched Stranger Things for the first time, seasons one and two were out already. And I genuinely adored El’s and Mike’s relationship. I had it all over my Pinterest, every scene, quote. I even went crazy over them after seeing season three. So, yeah, I liked them a lot together. But then I was also pretty sure I liked boys too. Right.

It wasn’t even a question. Well, I just didn’t know what falling in love felt like. What I did know was society’s version of it, the obsession that boys and girls can be friends, but that at some point, they’ll undoubtedly develop feelings for each other. Boys and girls, in the mind of 13 year old me, were supposed to get together. My friends did it all the time, they would have those big crushes and those big crushes would be reciprocated and so on…

For the most part, it was annoying. It annoyed me how even some of my closest friends would confess they like me. It felt like a betrayal from their part, an inconvenience. And it annoyed me. The sheer stupidity of it — the way rejecting them hurt them, and the way I’d be so oblivious to their feelings ‘cause I had no idea what those were. What they did.

I once got together with one of my best friends at the time, my first ever “yes”. And it seemed fun… like, the idea of it, maybe. But then we had to, you know, kiss. Uuh, be in love. I had to be his… girlfriend. I felt like I had to be pretty for him and funny and cute. I started feeling like an object and was pretty sure that was the norm. I didn’t even know how much I despised it till later. Sometimes, I forgot to like him. Even after we started “dating”, I was more preoccupied with fantasizing about him liking me. Not the real life thing. Not when I could have it. It was so damn awkward that all we did was hug, since he clearly wanted more a lot of the time and I wasn’t even aware of it. After a few months we kissed and I guess I thought I liked it but I never actually wanted to do it again and soon enough he told me that we’re better off as friends and, of course, I agreed, and everything felt lighter, again. Even the hugs. And I couldn’t believe how stupid it was. How stupid I was.

And then, after a while, I got it.

For the first time in my life, I felt it, for my childhood friend — a girl — this amazing amount of want — of wanting to be closer, wanting to touch, wanting to look. And it wasn’t only her liking me that fueled the relationship, it was also me liking her. Finally, it was about me too… for the first time and it was alarmingly different from anything I’ve ever experienced. It literally shook me so hard that some parts of it still do to this day.

It’s true, I've had enough time to be gentle to myself about it, even though all I wanted to do for so long was to destroy this strange feeling which made me feel so much guilt ‘cause of how good it felt and admitting to liking girls, well, it was jarring. It changed my life, turned it upside down.

And if I’ll get to see Mike going through almost the same thing, from thinking he must like El if he cares so much about her to being her boyfriend and apparently liking it to being confused about being her boyfriend and not liking it anymore to feeling an undeniable rush of affection for his childhood best friend to figuring out that that is romantic love and not whatever he felt for El, I don’t know what I’ll do…

The Duffers have no idea what it could mean for so many of us. (They do.) How gentle of a shock it’d be. How- how we’d win. I hope Byler becomes canon, because if they have any idea how it feels, they’ll get it right.

[pointmetotheundertow]

I was thinking the exact same thing! We have so much of them already.

I’m a sucker for the way season three ended ‘cause I’m a sucker for goodbyes, especially the ones that you don’t get to choose.

-••-•—•-•-•—•-••-

“When life hurts you, because it will, remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you’re out of that cave.”

Tbh Byler has been canon endgame since S3 we don't really even need the finale, this is more than enough

[pointmetotheundertow]

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

[pointmetotheundertow]

I want Mike to doubt himself over and over to the point of madness. I want him to face his desire head on, to replay his and El’s kisses till his head hurts, his chest heaves and his heart implodes.

I want Mike to figure out what’s wrong. And first I want him to regret falling for Will. I want him to want it to stop. I want real feelings, hard edges, ugly thoughts. I want his internalized homophobia to look like mine.

I want him to feel small — too small for his yearning clawing at him nonstop — but also so damn strong. I want to see him grow. And the only way he can do that is by accepting that his love for Will, that’s a part of him, always has been and always will be normal.

But first let him suffer, please.

(Hurt/Comfort, you can have all of me.)

[pointmetotheundertow]

My only wish is for Heroes by Peter Gabriel to play during their first kiss. Yeah, what if they kiss more than once? What then?

and what if we kissed as though nothing could fall? and what if the shame was on the other side? what then?

[pointmetotheundertow]

This song from Mike’s POV is so tragic and just perfect.

When you were young, you used to dream about fires

And scream into the night

To find me standing barefoot at your side

I used to whisper it will be alright

And lay down at your side

And take your tiny hands into mine

And how was I to know I’m not strong?

I should have saved you

And oh, I hope you know

That you’re my home

But now I’m lost, so lost

I keep imagining those flames that did rise

And blackened up the sky

The light that showed you barefoot in the snow

And then the fire started building up inside

Exploding blinding lights

Now I’m the one left screaming through the night

And how was I to know I’m not strong?

I should have saved you

And oh, I hope you know

That you’re my home

But now I’m lost, so lost

I’m gonna carry your bones

I’m gonna carry them all

I’m gonna carry you home

And oh, I’m gonna burry these bones

I’m gonna write it in stone

That you were my home, my home

(Forget about it)

(Forget about it)

(Forget about it)

(Forget about it)

How was I to know

You’re my home?

But now I’m lost, so lost

[pointmetotheundertow]

Facts.

how is will so hated by milkvans even though he's the only one keeping them together

[pointmetotheundertow]

Do you see it too?

Beautiful Nuthatch (Sitta formosa), family Sittidae, order Passeriformes, Mishmi Hills, AP, India

photograph by abhinav sharma

[pointmetotheundertow]

Yeah?

So yeah, I need you, Mike. And I always will.

[pointmetotheundertow]

I love, love, love this. Thank you for sharing it. 💙💛

the world ended when it happened to me

[pointmetotheundertow]

I fully believe that Mike would be clingier than Will.

Hands.

Shoulders.

Face.

Mike cupping Will’s face, gently, yet not shyly, brushing the hair out of his eyes. Mike close to Will. So close.

[pointmetotheundertow]

The lips glances.

I want more lip glances.

[pointmetotheundertow]

GUYS. Guys… RELAX.

Mike tried pineapple on pizza and liked it. I bet if he tries kissing Will he’ll like that too. (Obviously.)

I can’t even see it any other way.

He’s down bad.

He’ll probably never NOT want to kiss him again. And again.

[pointmetotheundertow]

I’m a simple individual.

I see yellow and blue… I cave in.

Simple as that.

[pointmetotheundertow]

Becoming a Byler fan after figuring myself out means a lot to me, coming from a place where I had no idea Will has romantic feelings for Mike before season 4 and shipped Mileven from the start.

Somehow it will heal my inner child if they become canon.

Like. It’d feel like a nod to my younger self.

“You’ll get there. Just like they did. You weren’t the only one confused.” (I’m looking at you, Wheeler.)