polyanamam

[polyanamam]

"Alea iacta est"

So shall it be, mods please be ready, I'll let everyone in. And if there is someone else to help mod, please just let me know!

The other question is, why make it invite only? Shall I just let the guards down?

[polyanamam]

feeling foxy 🦊 in my lover's clothes 🥰

[polyanamam]

Yes but I also want to be seen, like the real me. But only those I trust. But whom can I trust with the real me? Like all of me?

[polyanamam]

I need someone that's not a stranger now.

don’t be a stranger! (please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it)

[polyanamam]

There are all those fancy words like fomo, compersion, polysaturated and so on. What is the fancy shmancy word for feeling lonely despite having theoretically multiple people who care?

[polyanamam]

It's not my usual theme here but I need an outlet. My ex, the father of my kids. I can barely make up words. The kids were over at his place for dinner. As he brings them back he starts to discuss the fragile topics that always lead to fights. As it starts to get messy, I asked him to let it go especially because it was bedtime for the kids. But he just didn't so I said I'd walk away because I don't want to fight in front of the kids but he followed me inside and started to scream around and slammed the door. Then he finally left but once more I didn't manage to protect the kids against his "mood". Why is he overstepping my boundaries over and over again. Why does he hurt the little ones with this behavior, not physically but emotionally. And I know that they are hurt, little one cried, big one made himself wet. It's obvious.

What shall I do, cut him out as much as possible? I prefer a peaceful co-parenting situation but if this happens over and over again, I have no idea how to manage.

[polyanamam]

Beautiful thoughts about getting to know someone 🥰

im curious about what made you you. im curious about your taste in music. im curious about the way your mind thinks. im curious about how your body likes to be touched. im curious about your late night thoughts and how they make you feel. im curious about every single thing about you.

[polyanamam]

I'm in my 13th year knowingly beeing polyamorous, I surely made many mistakes but no bingo for me.

[polyanamam]

[polyanamam]

True!

[polyanamam]

That cought me on a soft spot 🙈 why am I feeling like that, I didn't experience that much appetite, probably never before...

hi i just think if i don’t experience someone being hungry for me soon i might go rabid. need that clawing at me, can’t stop staring at my lips, eating me alive.

need them clinging onto me while they fill me. my thighs pushed open for them and they are thrusting deep. holding me by the hip with one hand and by the throat with the other. when they look at me they squeeze their thumb just enough to remind me they can. of course, it makes me throb on them, and of course, they can feel it.

need them coaxing it out of me. the look of wonder on their face while they feel my pussy right around them. “yes, that’s right. that’s what i want.”

can’t do anything but keep giving them more. they’re still looking at me and i am hungry to please them.

[polyanamam]

That's beautiful, and it also takes some strength.

That's the kind of love I want to give and receive.

[polyanamam]

Oh I've learned this lesson the hard way. Good to remember, it's okay to ask for what you need to feel good.

being "low maintenance" as a defense mechanism...

text reads:

Sometimes being "low maintenance" is a defense mechanism encouraging you to seek love by shrinking your own needs. But the people drawn to what's easy in the connection usually aren't trying to build anything real with you. They might even feel scammed if you start to ask for basic human empathy.

"Can we talk about how that made me feel?" "Wow I did NOT sign up for this"

Sadly this reinforces the belief that you'll only be loved if you don't ask for too much. 

"Maybe I'm just too needy!"

But the people trying to build with you will look for MORE ways to love you, not less.

[polyanamam]

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

I stumbled upon this quote a few days ago, it's part of a poem by Elie Wiesel. The first time I've heard or read that, was a long time ago but this time it stuck in my head and I couldn't let it go. Hate is a strong emotion, even if negative, but there is a lot going on if people hate, it's not careless.

But the carelessness in indifference, in the first blink of an eye one thinks, it doesn't harm, but it does, it harms a relationship of any kind. So if you love, show that you care, ask questions, communicate, because if you don't, that's the opposite of love, and that hurts.

[polyanamam]

Okay that sounds better than therapy...

I want a long vacation with no responsibilities and gross sex with someone who cares about me

[polyanamam]

And vice versa!

[polyanamam]

I love you and I want to tell you that I do. And I miss you.

“Waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say “I love you”, but not everyone can wait and prove it’s true.”

— lieinlove