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[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S02E09: Bound by Blood

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

watching Clary and Simon make out feels more like watching siblings kissing than it would if she was with Jace ???????

“Guys I can take care of myself--OW” = Clary in a nutshell

“Can we FORCE Iris to undo it” Alec’s only suggestion is to go find the lady and beat it out of her

guys wtf is up with Aldertree he needs to stop giving drugs to teens and then asking them on dates like asap

the prolonged shot of a bunch of trash cans that Maia is thrown behind turns out to be a metaphor for her character because honestly I liked her but then she goes and immediately tries to kill Clary over something that may never happen which is pretty shitty and I don’t even like Clary very much

trash person

If anything happens to Clary...  Jace: “I’ll protect her” Simon: “We’ll protect her” lol Simon u just keep telling ur self that

If you ever thought Valentine wasn’t a super villian from a comic book just look at his choices of evil headquarters: Chernobyl, an enchanted barge, a run-down carnival

look Dot is turning into Rob Zombie

who made cotton candy

this lil one has the most evil stare and Im pretty sure she’s not supposed to be evil?

i never thought of tamales as sexy before but I guess they are tbh

ugh Izzy is ruining it by making awful segues to get Raphael to suck her blood and just ugh she needs to stop and realize how special he is instead of just using him for his fangs. he cooks every Sunday and brings it to his elderly sister i mean COME ON IZZY

Luke asking Meliorn about his recent facial scars, which are the result of torture, and then just being like ‘well it’s good to see you.’ Luke really is an ice cold bitch

I can’t believe i’m saying this, but Clary’s ‘sit back and let Jace take care of it’ attitude is really lame and boring. the Clary I know wouldn’t have given up, instead she’d blunder into a situation where she would have to make a choice between capture or killing herself and then she’d valiantly decide to kill herself but then not have to at the last minute because obviously she’s not going to kill herself. honestly I prefer the typical Clary shenanigans to crying in/on a van

Clary, coming to terms with her imminent death, tells Simon, “[if I die] I’m glad we...” I’m guessing ‘touched privates’ was the end of that sentence 

Alec needs to chill the fuck out besides we all know Raphael is letting him punch his face repeatedly he should be so lucky

Magnus telling Raphael he only likes Izzy because he’s high on her blood and for once I think Magnus can just go straight to hell because this relationship is pure magic

the lady plot lines in this episode are really bumming me out. they’re either being rescued or going batshit which is a giant nope for me

Alec patting Aldertree on the shoulder right after he blackmails him is my everything

#😎

Simon popping out from behind Valentine and shouting “Clary run!” is my new everything

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S02E08: Love is a Devil

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

I don’t even care that Raphael is only helping Izzy because she’s in withdrawal. I. am. so. into. this.

“No one’s seen an angel in hundreds of years” who else is disappointed the angel was just a mangy old man. I see them on the street all the time

Alec *is* the Ceremonial Party Master ... until he immediately asks Magnus to do it which is kinda disappointing because i actually want to know what kind of party Alec would have thrown it probably would have involved archery or hot dogs and then we could have heard him say ‘I read that children enjoy hot dogs’

when you describe the kiss between you and your best friend as ‘weird in the best way possible’ and you just know it’s going to last 4ever

Jace reads one book and immediately becomes a cat lady

this cat

~ stop thinking about boning your sister dude that’s not cool ~

Magnus magically creating bowls of milk for the cats so he can befriend them is legit my favorite thing that has ever happened on this show

Jace saying he knows Alec and Magus slept together because they’re parabatai so he can sense that Alec is ‘happier’ and Magnus has the only acceptable reaction

“Do you think anyone’s going to notice that we’re dating?” Simon said while giggling weirdly at Clary and holding her hand and staring into her eyes and making kissy noises and and and

you know what 10 year old shadowhunter children just love? salsa dancing apparently

i kinda want these two to fuck

OK who drugged Simon into thinking maybe he doesn’t want to get into Clary’s pants anymore, i’m pretty sure that has been his only goal since puberty

it’s not a party until your adoptive mother tries to murder your with a hatchet

SERIOUSLY IF THE WRITERS DON’T PURSUE THIS I WILL QUIT THIS SHOW

I knew that orange cat was an untrustworthy a-hole

“Valentine is coming for me, isn’t he?” ”Which is why I’m never letting you out of my sight”

“FINALLY”

how long until we get the scene where Clary has to change her clothes real quick and she pretends like Jace can’t see her but she knows he definitely can and I AM HERE FOR IT

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S02E07: How Are Thou Fallen?

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

Valentine’s Spider-Man leap in the opening scene. I hope he was unsure about whether or not to do it and he asked his goons and they were all like, “Yes, boss, sounds very cool, it will show off your athleticism and stuff pls don’t kill me” 

Of course Clary confides in the one corrupt Iron Sister, no one ever said she had good instincts 

when u drink ur slurpee too fast

Clary: did you hear that? 

Person I’ve never seen before: Hear what?

Clary: WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF YOU, YOU USELESS GLASSES WEARING PERSON

Magnus’s “Jace the Cock Block” solution is to magically turn on the radio... I was hoping he was going to like teleport him to Trump’s gold encrusted bathroom or something, I mean that would’ve have gotten the message across better than just turning up Marvin Gaye real loud. How much you wanna bet Jace will just come out right when they’re about to kiss again to turn the station to Third Eye Blind or some other 90s alt rock band & then just be like “Hey roomies, whats up?”

Clary checking out Simon’s abs... is it just me or does she have literally zero chemistry with any of the dudes on this show

Shadowhunters send an official bat signal via text. I wish I could send that to everyone whenever I post a new recap

All of Jace’s runes are chosen specifically for their sex related advantages 

Izzy working in a jab at Simon while going off on Clary and I’m just like in awe of this fabulous woman

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU GLASSES PERSON

I’M SUSPICIOUS BECAUSE WHY WOULD ANY SHADOWHUNTER WEAR GLASSES, USE A FUCKING VISION RUNE FOR THAT SHIT GODDAMN

I like when this show introduces a new location and then everyone just goes there all the time & acts like they always have. That place this season is The Hunter’s Moon

How much u wanna bet Magnus will eventually save Izzy from her yin fen downward spiral and the writers will just hit that ‘Magnus Resolves Plot line’ button once again

Luke: “I told you Clary, I used all the department’s resources, there’s no sign of her” *she walks into the room* Luke: “fuckin useless cop career”

“I’m a spiller.” I’ll take ‘things you should never say aloud for $100,’ Alex

Part of Jace’s downward spiral is becoming ~ The Pick Up Artist ~

Alec naming his made-up girlfriend ‘Jessica Hogblew,’ proving once and for all that he is 100% gay

“Jace we gotta go” “I’d love to old man, but I’m busy, now buzz off”

“It’s Clary”

Kewl rooftop lightning storm fight scene where Clary can suddenly fight good? She’s really good at pulling skills out of her ass when needed

An angel gives Jace and Clary a coded message via a video game design student’s first school project. Nice to know angels support the arts

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S02E06: Iron Sisters

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

I’m pretty sure the Iron Sisters’ look is “late night crafting sesh that got out of hand & now we just have random shit stuck to us forever”

that awkward feeling when you’re not sure if you’re ‘interrupting something’ when u walk into a room where Clary and Jace are alone

is this brother and sister time? or “brother and sister” time? (I just gagged. im sorry)

every time Raphael calls Simon a condescending nick name (bud, amigo) I gain 2x health points

Luke ‘still hasn’t called’ or shown up in the last 2 eps...so what other role was Isaiah Mustafa working on i wonder

Magnus’s ‘emergency’ is a ploy to rescue Alec from a guilty conscious and save the rest of us from a boring mopey plot line proving once & for all he is the best character on this show

imagining Luke being like “I’m so sad” *eyes turn green* *turns into wolf* and someone seeing it and just being like “fuck that guy’s so sad have you ever seen anyone that sad before he literally just turned into a fucking werewolf”

when Aldertree sends a drug addict and a newb on a very important & exclusive trip to see the Iron Sisters and you’re just starting to think that maybe this guy is up to something

'this pool will destroy demonic beings on contact’ *side eyes Clary* ‘you first’

lol Alec hates IPAs just like everyone else with proper taste buds

Simon is allergic to clay. Fucking CLAY

Maia’s ‘been thru some stuff’ story is literally going to class naked. and here I thought it was going to be the fact that she got clawed in the neck by a werewolf or something

Alec’s ‘this is good’ face

Forever 21′s lace dresses are the only choice for all your demon-destroying pool going needs

when the pool starts boiling Izzy and the Iron Sisters just watch as Clary tries to save her and then they call Izzy a liar... these bitches don’t mess around, how much you wanna bet whoever let their craft sesh get out of hand is dead now

Maia: Full disclosure, I like the same nerdy shit you do. Simon: *almost passes out from all the blood in his body instantly rushing to his dick*

this bar has almost as many swizzle sticks as Magnus has had sexual partners

‘ichor duty’ is literally just cleaning blood off weapons. And you thought Shadowhunters were soldiers who took pride in their weapons and cleaned them themselves LOL u wrong they have a bitch for that

Aldertree has a recording of Jace refusing to pledge allegiance to the Clave but more importantly admitting that he still wants to bang his sister

#wrecked

how long do u think it will be before Clary sees it

Luke is so sad he almost eats some campers. I guarantee u Ed Sheeran has never felt a sadness this profound

"Hi guys”

#dammitJace

Jace needs a spare room. Seriously how any of them survived before they were friends with Magnus, he helps them with EVERYTHING

uhh why they are they letting a past circle member be an Iron Sister? i call bullshit

[popcultureforlosers]

I just finished live tweeting tonight’s ep of Timeless (live tweeting is kind of stressful? and i probs need to rewatch the ep tomorrow bc I feel like i missed stuff?? but the official Timeless twitter retweeted me a few times & also Hemingway replied to me so WORTH IT) & now it’s time for my Shadowhunters recap, which if you’re interested in my process, is just me watching the show on Freeform’s website and pausing it every few minutes to take screencaps/write shit in tumblr draft mode #art

follow my Timeless twitter and tweet #RenewTimeless even if you don’t care, I’d really appreciate it @TimelesHistory

Misha Collins is on next week. People love that guy so chances are you are one of those people which means u should watch Timeless and tweet about it

[popcultureforlosers]

I wish this was real

please follow my Timeless + history behind the time travel twitter account, @TimelesHistory, which I started in a small effort to show my support & help get this baby renewed because I need Wucy (best ship name ever) and Rufus in my life #renewTimeless

you can also binge the show here

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S02E05: Dust and Shadows

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

Alec, dealing with his emotions by shooting arrows into the sky and then blaming himself for lots of stuff (admittedly accurate stuff, he didn’t rescue Jace at any point in the last 5 episodes) while shitty loud music plays in the background to undermine the emotional weight of the scene, lest we forget this show is for the #teenz

Simon getting a hard on when Clary tells him she was sad that he died. Good god Simon reallyyyyy needs a girlfriend. Or just like a girl to make eye contact with him accidentally on the street

“You were dead, but then you came back...what if we can get my mom back?” Clary is the person in every sci-fi horror film that sets in motion the events that gets everyone else killed 

“Sometimes there are things you just” *stares wistfully over Clary’s shoulder* “have to accept.” Sounds like Simon is maybe realizing something about himself and Clary ... or he just got distracted again by the fact that Clary said she was sad when he died. what more evidence do u need that a girl is falling in love with u?

Magnus has the knife that his mother killed herself with on display? I just got a glimpse of a very different Magnus then the one that is usually on this show

You want me to bring your mom back from the dead? ... how about a picture instead?

lol fuckin magnus

“What does OK even mean?” brought to you by pre-teen melodrama turnt up to 11

look out, Clary ‘Nancy Drew’ Fairchild just entered the building

how much u wanna bet she googled “warlocks who can bring my mom back from the dead” on the giant computer screen in the crowded room

‘Can u really bring people back from the dead?’ ‘Why don’t I show you with this crow that conveniently died just this morning like five feet away’ god these shows are so HOLLYWOOD and FAKE

yeesh what is it with Jace and getting shit on by the strong male father figure types in his life? not everyone can be blessed with a Luke... who disappeared immediately after Joceyln died. I guess all dads on this show suck actually

um

what the actual fuck

sidenote for book nerds: isn’t yin fen what Jem was addicted to? I didn’t know it made you orgasm? no wonder he never got out of bed *cue comedy drum sound*

Alec, encouraging Clary’s re-animator bullshit & disappointing me for the 2nd time

*gets asked if he’s Clary’s boyfriend*

*warlock lady is vague*

*little girl won’t say hello to him*

ok he redeemed himself

Simon moves home and leaves his blood thermos out on his desk. what is this vampire amateur hour? 

“Becky told me you’re keeping blood in your room.”

Blood? what is blood? ha ha ha, he haw ha ha

that warlock lady trying to pull a Rosemary’s Baby on Clary and this episode just went off the rails at 1,000mph

so like how do you know the difference between when a demon wants to impregnate you and when it just wants to kill you? how are mundanes having sex with black goo swap creatures and not remembering it? HOW DOES WARLOCK CONCEPTION WORK AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING 

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S02E04: Day of Wrath

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

#DENIED

Clary: What can i do to help? Jace: “You can stay away from me. No matter what happens, never come near me again.” O FUK where the shades at because this bitch just got burnt

“We’re done here” he said to his sister, who he wanted to touch like a girl who is definitely not his sister. Then he watched as a giant man with sewn shut eyes dragged her away, her protests echoing off the prison walls as he faded into the darkness of his cell, which was a metaphor for him retreating into the darkness of his soul--his demon soul that made him want to inappropriately touch his sister. That’s an excerpt from my fanfic “Dojo Valentine", tell ur friends they’ll def want 2 check it out it’s steamy

wow Raj really came out of no where and is already a frontrunner for my least favorite character 

“He’s locked up in the city of bones how do you think he’s doing?” the subtext of this is: MOM stop asking about the welfare of your son it makes me LASH OUT to cover up my DEEP DESIRE to touch his dick 

‘move to Idris with me’ 

the Clave is stepping up their torture game

the next step is to get some sharks to go with the frickin laser beams

Luke deciding to leave his pack behind at the drop of a hat. he really is like the worst pack leader possible, honestly worse than teen wolf. omg that just make me think what if Stiles was on this show? and all he did was constantly point out how uncomfortable it is when Jace and Clary stare at each other too long? I’m taking this one to the writers 

the many faces of women having to listen to Raj

“My mom wants me to go with her. We went through so much to get her back, but I just don’t know...” when ur loyalty to ur mom who you just rescued from being kidnapped is tested at the prospect of leaving your brother/dream man behind #Shadowhunterproblems

“No wonder Alec ditched you for a warlock” of course the demon is a sexist dick. or maybe that is just Raj and he’s not really possessed? besides the black eyes i really can’t tell tbh

Alec shooting Raj in the leg instead of the head is the first time he’s really disappointed me

ALdertree: “Do you love her the way a brother loves a sister?” Me: o SHIT Jace:

how the fuck does everyone know this falcon story

life in prison just because he doesn’t agree with the government? somebody make sure Trump never sees this show and gets any ideas

i know this is like a teen soap on freeform and all but Jace actually tried to commit suicide over the prospect of facing life in prison this shit is dark af

you guys im pretty sure no one can do anything on this show without Magnus’s help. seriously half the characters would be dead already if he wasn’t around 

‘what did i do’

I certainly hope it was ‘kill Raj’

oh sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

now Clary doesn’t have to go to Idris i guess

“just watching my mom get murdered” “just watching myself murder Clary’s mom”

*crickets*

Camille is such an asshole how could Magnus ever love her even 200 years ago honestly

lol Valentine is mad Jace isn’t impressed with how hard it was for him to break into the prison to rescue him. I’m not sure if ‘perfect dad’ or ‘best dad’ is better here

Clary killing a smoke demon with a sword..for when the episode is over in 2 minutes and she’s already holding a sword

Clary needs to be consoled

CLARY NEEDS TO BE CONSOLED

lol Simon has to get what he can take

[popcultureforlosers]

move to Idris with me Clary

[popcultureforlosers]

the classic “it’s not what you think”

why doesn’t that ever work

full recap of S02E03 here

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S02E03: Parabatai Lost

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

HOW did we not get the scene where Magnus finds out Alec did ill-advised magic and is now in a parabatai coma?? I honestly feel like something has been stolen from me & the show writers should apologize to me personally via twitter

Jace, looking for his stele first thing after washing up on shore, then realizing he should probably also check to see if Clary is still alive. it’s called priorities 

classic “this isn’t what you think”

why doesn’t that ever work

“She was a sweet kid.” “No she wasn’t.” Luke's inner bitch is really coming out this episode

when you only see the mustache through another’s eyes

“Oh great, Clary’s safe, we can all go home now.” Magnus, KILLING IT as usual

Clary describing Alec’s current state as being “stuck inside some kind of nightmare and now he can’t wake up,” which in layman’s terms is called ‘a coma’

Jace’s face when he realizes he walked into the one bar in NYC that isn’t only full of werewolves, but specifically werewolves whose relatives he also happened to kidnap

Jace has now reached full horrible no good very bad day status

DO NOT FUCK WITH TAYTO

“Hey mom I got your messages, I just want to let you know I’m not dead” classic opening line when calling ur mom from college i know I’ve said it at least a dozen times

Raphael telling Simon that Camille is his ‘sire’ and I’m just like

“Whose side are you on?” *removes metaphorical sunglasses* “I’m on the side of the law” Luke laying on the tough guy police officer vibes so thick I thought I accidentally changed it to CBS

“Shut up Raj”

the fact that they decided it would just be easier to cast two slightly younger looking men to be 18 year old Alec and Jace, probably based solely on the fact that they already have to shut down filming at least once a day to shave Matthew Daddario who looks like he had a five o’ clock shadow at birth amirite

seriously, why won’t Raj shut up

the doctor talking about Jace’s blood: “whatever’s going on with this guy, it’s not normal.” this is some very serious and scientific medical vernacular going on here I hope none of the audience got lost

why did Luke bring Maia to the hospital with him to find Jace, when she clearly just wants to kill him? I’m starting to think maybe Luke isn’t very good at his job? Like either of his jobs, cop or pack leader, this plays into poor decision making for both

when Clary and Simon find Simon’s mom and she’s just having a cup of coffee in a nice coffee shop and...it’s a little anti-climatic? like i thought she’d be doing shots in the werewolf bar with Tayto at least

Why didn’t Luke just flash his glowing green eyes and tell the other werewolves to ‘stand down’ like an hour ago? it really would have saved a lot of time

when you realize that Alec’s parabatai coma is really just a series of flashbacks and an excuse to see young Izzy bossing Alec around which is honestly ok by me 

just when you think Alec is dead and then he’s...not #yay

Browbeaten Jace is definitely not my favorite Jace

Sassy Jace (sometimes known as Sassafrass Jace, when he’s feeling a touch more lighthearted) is probably my favorite although I do also really enjoy You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me Jace which is not to be confused with I’ve Had Enough of This Shit Jace. Which is your favorite?

some people think i’m being too mean to Clary in my recaps so I just want to end this by saying Clary is the best that ever lived pls don’t hate me the end

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S02E01: This Guilty Blood

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

It’s pretty obvious the opening scene is not real Clary, because she was calm and stayed out of the way, and if it had been real Clary she would have yelled about how she was being treated unfairly at least once and then accidentally manage to kill someone & then claim it as pure skill

Let’s play a game of spot the season 2 upgrades:

runes are no longer sad looking bruises, but actual tattoos

no more fight scenes filmed in ~*blur vision*~ because they had the budget to teach some actual fight choreography & use slo mo

seraph blades are made out of metal instead of glo in the dark plastic

CGI no longer done on MS paint

everyone’s hair is slightly better except for Magnus who has a goatee now

dat opening sequence 

Alec’s RAGE means there are actaul emotions in his voice and for a minute i don’t recognize him

when the beating is so bad ur runes start to wash off

the fact that the new Head of the NY Institute took the time to light a bunch of candles because what official interrogations are usually lacking is ambiance

Clary’s interrogation goes poorly and will likely have ramifications that she will try and blame on someone else and/or complain that it’s somehow not her fault

from hanging your son by his arms & having him beaten to making him homemade spaghetti sauce, you really gotta do it all to be a well rounded dad these days

Jace “father of the year” Wayland: broken, but still sassy

this hologram

new drinking game: take a shot every time Clary says “you can’t do this!” when they very clearly can

“I’m not leaving Jocelyn.” “I’m going to have to insist.” “Call me when you can.” Luke giving up at the first sign of a polite British suggestion 

Storm?

Clary “I’m a quick study” Fray: distraught, but still full of herself

all the junk out front of the Jade Wolf, because nothing says ‘mmm i’m hungry’ like a bunch of trash

Clary closing her eyes and squeezing Jace’s fingerless glove real tight, hoping that’s how you track someone

the fact that we just discovered Jace is without one of this fingerless gloves, which might be the most distressing thing about his situation right now

Jocelyn doing what we’ve all wanted to do at some point: lock Clary in a shed and run away

Valentine telling Jace his demon blood is the reason he’s attracted to his sister & will eventually start murdering people. father of the year? more like father of the decade

“What have you done?” Clary, always asking the questions everyone knows the answers to already

[popcultureforlosers]

she is Clary in real life and he is Alec

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S01E08: Bad Blood

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

“It just looks like a wine glass.” ...in case you thought Clary wasn’t going to start the episode off by being an asshole

“First rule of shadowhunting: when something explodes, just keep walking.” Looks like someone studied at the school of CSI: Miami yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

All the computer monitors. Why. Like why do they have so many, when they can also do magic. I don’t get it. If Steve Jobs is better at getting you information when you can do actual magic, then you suck at magic.

The fact that this Chinese food restaurant is on the docks, in a shipping yard, literally nestled in between shipping containers

again, #why

The set designer who put this small desk in the middle of nowhere and filled it with tchotchkes so no one could actually use it 

now no one will notice this empty corner, perfect

Clary’s plan to visit Simon’s mom and tell her that there’s been ‘an accident’ and her son ‘isn’t coming back,’ and just assuming she wouldn’t ask for any specifics, because honestly what mom would, am i right #Clarylogic

“Are you seriously telling me a story right now?” Clary actually has a point this time, Jace could have set the tone by just saying ‘im going to tell you a story’ and i bet she would have been on board but out of the blue with the whole ‘there once was a boy’ shit and it’s kind of like ‘what the fuck is happening’ you know?

“I can see why all the girls in Idris are clamoring to meet you.” “Whaddya mean.” “Rumor has it you’re looking to settle down. Get married.” “Dammit.” Alec reaches levels of emotionless apathy so powerful they could open up Dr. Strange level portals into other dimensions. It’s really quite beautiful. 

John Monteverde. never forget.

the “best forensic pathologist in New York” is... Izzie?

“I want to get my hands on that thing.” “Speaking of Alec...” bless you Magnus

the scene where Clary says “over my dead body” and then punches a vampire in the face and walks away like a bad bitch

looks like someone studied at the school of CSI: Transylvania 

in case you forgot about Hodge, here he is wearing this outfit

ok bye Hodge

Simon discovering that one of the downfalls of being a vampire is the inability to say ‘God’

when Clary tries to remind Simon of his humanity by telling him that he’s the same Simon “that can recite every line from every Nicolas Cage movie”, which really isn’t a skill you should remind people of if you don’t want them to spiral into a deep pit of despair 

Simon telling Clary to stay away and then running off real fast, leaving Clary to be comforted by Jace as she repeatedly cries, “What did I do?”

this is why i watch this show, for these moments of pure emotional depth

[popcultureforlosers]

i hope i get an answer to this burning question. the people need to know

[popcultureforlosers]

Shadowhunters S01E07: Major Arcana

This is a very special show. Here are my favorite parts from it

“It sounded boring anyway.” Jace trying to pretend like he doesn’t want to be part of a police station heist by quoting the same line used by every teenage girl who ever felt left out

“Luke had his chance.” “Yeah.” Jace and Clary, discovering Luke is in custody of Internal Affairs and therefore can’t get the thing they need, because you know, fuck him, it’s not like he’s anyone’s surrogate dad here or anything

How does photography work in this world? because i honestly think people are somehow able to screencap their lives and then they frame it and that’s how they save memories

“Are you OK?” “Anything you want to talk about?” Izzy’s dad, when he sees her dressed like her mother and is internally struggling with the fact that this could possibly be anything but a complete mental breakdown

Clary’s annoyance when Luke tells her he might be the prime suspect in a murder investigation and therefore can’t help her right away. OMG, what a total dick, dads are always ruining your day somehow, huh Clary?????

who the fuck orders HALF a bagel

Simon

The way Simon pronounces ‘texts’ like ‘Texas’

When you google the actor playing Simon to see if he’s from Europe or something (nope, just Florida, where apparently they pronounce ‘texts’ like ‘Texas’)

when ur nuts have gone bad

Alec, trying to distract that policewoman by flirting with her and then resorting to just spilling water all over her desk instead #nailedit

Shadowhunter night vision

I’d ask for a refund

“What is all this crap, lunch receipts?” Jace, deciding that all the NYPD’s ‘evidence’ is garbage. take that ya fuckin muggles

You’d think with all their magical powers shadowhunters could come up with a better source of portable light than a glowing rock

honestly, a flashlight seems more functional

Clary: *looks at a photo of her missing mom for two seconds* Jace: *practically rolls his eyes* “This will take all day.” You guys, I don’t know what it is about Jace, but he’s just so dreamy sometimes

“I know you guys are having a moment, but we really have to go.” Well at least Clary can dish it right back, she and Jace will be in a mutual relationship of never letting one another have a personal or sentimental moment ever: a love for the ages

Clary’s voicemail message having an extra long pause after the initial greeting so people think she picked up when she didn’t, and if that isn’t the mark of a true a-hole then i don’t know what is

“I’ve never heard him this quiet around pasta before.” what kinds of sounds does Simon make around pasta guys I gotta know

the moment Clary thinks she guessed wrong and killed the real Jace instead of a demon impostor

do you think she will learn a valuable lesson about overestimating her abilities in a world she just discovered existed a week ago?

LOL 

learning life lessons is for the losers and the haters 

#ClaryOut

[popcultureforlosers]

coming from a place of helpless love of shadowhunters, YOUR REVIEWS ARE THE BEST THING! PLEASE CONTINUE! THANK YOU!

to show you how much i love this message, here is my favorite gif of Clary, proving that not only does she know how to use a seraph blade, but she’s a damn natural and definitely would have still killed that demon even if Jace hadn’t literally thrown him on it

(thank you I love you)