portra8oo

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Buenos Aires Julio 2022

Sony Cybershot DSC-W630

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Lol so this weekend I got to see the loml and it was really sweet I just wish my memory wasn’t so bad but I think the combination of blunts, whipits, and poppers are fucking me up. My friend kept letting me know that he was coming over to chill with us but I wouldn’t acknowledge it because I was afraid it would give something away. No one knows what happened the last time I saw him at least I don’t think they do but it was weird how my friend (let’s call him kody) kept telling me (let’s call the other guy Jesse) that Jesse was gonna come over. Apparently kody wanted to ask me a “serious question” at some point but I changed the subject. I think he might know something and if he does I’m kinda worried because that means Jesse told him what we did the last time we all hung out. Anyways, I regret a lot of things but not this person and it was nice seeing them awkwardly stand in the doorway when they finally got there, the room was kinda packed since we were all sitting on the floor but he sat by kody and I got really quiet. We kept doing whipits and passing around the canister, I dropped beer at some point. Jesse started playing records and people started leaving so it was just us 4 left (kody, kody’s Gf, Jesse and I). We started talking about music but I was too faded to sound like I knew what the fuck I was saying. Then someone brought out poppers and I instinctively reached over for a couple whiffs. Jesse played charles Bronson at my request and I would occasionally look at him. Jesse started talking about communism at some point and I listened to him get all passionate about what he was saying it was cringe but idk I like hearing him talk. He’s knows a lot about everything but never makes you feel dumb. I appreciate that. Kody wanted to pick up some yay so we went to his car but I sat in the back with his gf while he and Jesse sat in the front. Jesse was playing some indie shit but I didn’t like it tbh, I didn’t ask him to change it because he was doing these awkward dance moves and shaking his hands around. He never plays anything relevant when he’s around, but he’s also never played anything soft like that so I was nervous. Last time he showed me some weird shit that reminds me of high pitched rap with lots of synth. I don’t like it but I let him play what he wants because I enjoy seeing him smile at the screen and eventually dance. Once we picked up the yay from the plug we drove back and I was getting tired I think it was midnight by then. We went back to kody’s room and listened to Earl sweatshirt, they did a couple bumps and I asked Jesse if he wanted some poppers, handed it to him, and watched him do the babiest whiff. He told me he felt pathetic for that and we laughed. I wanted to stay longer but my parents were gonna wake up soon so I had to leave and he left with me but not how I wish he had :/ we both got walked to our separate cars and I told him to get home safe from across the street, he said something that kinda worried me but I already forgot what it was “I can’t make any promises” “I hope so” idk but it was something that made me hesitate. I drove home alone and haven’t stopped thinking about him since. My main concern this whole time has been that maybe that first night really was a mistake and maybe he wouldn’t feel comfortable seeing me again but every time I hang out with kody and his gf kody always tries inviting Jesse over but he works two jobs. It’s funny that just hours before I drove over to El Monte, as I was getting ready, I kept getting this sinking feeling in my gut. Kinda like I had to shit but more like the feeling I get before I start to get anxious about something. It’s like my body knew I’d see him that night. Now that I know he wants to hang out I’ll feel better for sure. I wish I could talk to someone about this but no one actually cares and I have to use this platform because Jesse is on my private story as well, I don’t want to worry him. His birthday is in 2 days. The night we slept together we talked about all sorts of things and I found out he’s a Pisces.

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Līču-Laņģu Cliffs, Latvia

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you’re just a boy you are no man and nobody you know will understand

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OVERSIZE BOY SHIRT (WHITE)

39,000원

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숏츠 미니 점퍼 (BEIGE) 

 66,000원

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Kingman, AZ

© Sinziana Velicescu

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petrichor - keaton henson

pet·ri·chor: a pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather

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sugar, we’re goin down [presses elevator button for a lower floor]