problematic-alters-unsilenced

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

imagine being a sex repulsed ace in a sys full of hypersexual people. i feel so bad for everyone bc a lot of hypersexuality is intrusive thoughts (to my knowledge) but it hits me hardest bc every time im in cocon and can hear thoughts its like. ok i will vomit now

gghh that sucks.. :(

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

i fucking hate this system everyone is so god damn juvinile and one of them is violently homophobic. i have been physically(? its in headspace so idk if id call it physical) attacked MORE THAN ONCE. i want to kill everyone here so bad

it can be like that sometimes..

im sorry you're suffering with that :( /gen

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

hope dontt mind vent but. god. honestly im kinda scared of this system because we have an EXTREMELY problematic alter. and. we just dont know what to do. he wont change. its not like he ever fronts, butt he still exists, and i (host) fear hiim. have any tips on how to get him to change. (if no then feel free to post ot and just let people respond /nf)

well change isnt always guaranteed sadly.. but in our experience some of our "irredeemable" persecutors have been redeemed just by other alters being kind to them..

one of our persecutors has recently been redeemed by a symptom holder who just wanted to try to see the good. The symptom holder listened to the persecutor and tried to understand why they did what they did.. and it turns out they had trauma as well. The symptom holder taught them how to be better and stuck with them.. while making sure it wasn't just an act.

It will take time. people slip back into habits.. people take time to change.. but if you're patient, and they are willing, it will happen..

but never force it... it'll only drive them away.

If they refuse, leave a door open for them to accept redemption if they wish later on.

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Okay, thank you :) that cleared some things up and I think I understand it just a little bit more than I did before :)

Reading some of the things on your blog has also unintentionally helped us a lot in how we feel about some of our persecutors and alters with odd sources. We have a suzie alter who was just straight up fucking mean to our psys of nearly 3 years for no reason and we sort of immediately labeled her as a persecutor and locked her away, but that was almost three years ago at that point and we were still very new on how to handle persecutors. We have since let her integrate back into the system regularly (no pun intended) and she hasn't been much of an issue, if any. She still holds some resentment for being shut out, but I couldn't blame her. I hope she learns to trust us again, though I understand if she couldn't. We were just as bad, if not worse than she was for doing that to her.

- 🦞💤

Being a system can be hard, sometimes you don't make the right decisions... I hope you all learn from that, and that the suzie alter is doing better <3

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Is it possible to be a RAMCOA survivor if not one specific person or group is abusing you in a specific time in your life? I dont know if this is worded correctly or if it makes sense, so apologies, I'm sort of all over the place because I was reading a RAMCOA carrd and i feel like a lot of the stuff I saw on there applies to us, but I'm not sure and I don't wanna mislabel anything rhrghjmg

- 🦞💤

I mean.. RAMCOA does require organized and ritual abuse... which would mean it has to happen over and over again. I have heard that conditioning can happen unintentionally, correct me if I'm wrong on that, but programming due to it's severity has to be intentional.

Though I suppose if.. as long as you meet the conditions to be programmed and the people are doing it right.. I think it can consist of multiple unrelated groups/people..?

If anybody else has more information on this feel free to share your thoughts on this

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Heya just telling you to be careful of stupid silly girl or whatever their user is, apparently they can ask very invasive questions, is a TERF sympathizer, and openly talks abt reading books by Fritz Springmeier (a very problematic author)

already blocked them :P

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Hey feel free to delete this but I THINK the last ask was sent by a pro endo /info

yeah probably

we went checking the blog right after the ask and saw the sophie in wonderland reblog and eugh.

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Hi, I just wanted to say that, I am a trauma survivor, but I am not an RAMCOA survivor, & I don't have DID. However, I am trying to educate myself more about RAMCOA & DID. I feel like I relate to RAMCOA survivors and DID survivors because I myself have experienced a lot of trauma, & I want to be friends with those types of survivors because I feel like I can relate to them. & I also want to be a support person for RAMCOA & DID survivors, do you have any advice for me?

Hi! Yes I do!

I find it very weird that you are specifically "hunting" for people with RAMCOA/DID to be friends with when you yourself don't have it! I think it's incredibly creepy and like you see us as... "collectibles". There's ways to support RAMCOA/DID people WITHOUT hunting people with it to be friends with it.

Also I've seen an ask you sent to another blog and.. you seem incredibly misinformed, immature, and naive when it comes to this. I would recommend trying to broaden your research by reading resources about RAMCOA and what survivors have said on the matter.

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

what's your opinion on people having true crime alters, for example, school pewpewers, and others? Coming from a system who has them.

As long as the alters themselves are nice, we'll be nice back. We don't judge based on source.

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

i hate being here solely cause of my source. lord knows how ableist and hateful this "community" is. i fuck i'll have to take on a whole new identity just to EXIST as a human being just because my source self is a shit person. not like im any different noo of course i can't be any different right? fuck the system "community". i hate all of you

-Jimmy

if this gets sent off anon, dont post it.

yeah.. we have non-source compliant alters who have bad sources.. and they've been judged off them...

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Know its been a few months but I think we're doing better enough to run this blog again..

sorry for the dead silence everyone, the incident was severely traumatizing.. and since school started back up our health got worse..

buut we're doing better so the blog is back in business! thank you all for your patience

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

So so sorry to hear about what happened to you guys :(( stay safe and take care of yourselves! Take as much time as needed ♡

thank you..

its been affecting us a lot, and it makes reading all the asks a lot harder when we can barely stomach just existing.

We gotta get through the incredible disgust phase before we're able to read asks and such again.. which may take a while..

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Hey, we're taking a break. Recently got sexually harassed and still struggling, so I'm sorry for leaving so soon after coming back.. :(

we've been blurred and having dormancy and such, so we gotta get everything under control

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Just a small thing but I'm pretty sure there are other disorders that give you alters, like UDD and P-DID? We're rusty on research though so we could be getting it mixed up

I have no idea if I have DID and I am so so scared that I might come off as an endo.

I AM STRICTLY ANTI-ENDO !!!

but, I have trauma, and due to that trauma, I do (technically) have alters of some kind??

Can you have alters without DID?

I’m so so sorry if I seem rude.

as far as I am aware, no. Unless you have OSDD or DID you cannot have alters /info

I'd recommend doing more research into this. If you think you have alters but you know you don't have DID perhaps looking into other disorders that could cause voices, identity struggles, mood switches, ect could help. It really depends what is making you think you have alters.

Obviously I don't know you, so like I can't tell you if it's DID, another disorder or whatever, but I can recommend you look into it s little more on your own and if you have a doctor or something perhaps communicating with them about these worried would be a good idea.

Also don't worry, you won't come off as endo. As long as you have trauma then you're not an endo. It doesn't matter if that trauma is "small" (no trauma is really small, just saying that because that's how some people put it) or "big". It's still trauma and you're valid.

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

from the ED anon here, thank you OP. it really means a lot, your kind words. we're kind of crying because of it. thank you, thank you so much. thank you for listening to us <3

Of course<3

you are loved, you deserve love, you are incredibly strong and incredibly brave. I am so proud of you.

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

hi it’s 🌟🫙 again 😭

tw for suicide

so we have a songtive of ruru’s suicide show on livestream. like the song based on the girl who killed herself. she’s not a factive of rorochan (the real life victim), but she very much looks like the character from the music video and calls herself ruru.

we have big time trauma connections to the song, which i won’t go into detail about for our own safety. i just feel bad that we have that songtive, both out of respect for rorochan and due to how triggering it is for us to have an introject like her. i know we can’t control who we introject- we have quite a few uh.. interesting introjects (i might talk more about that in another ask), but it’s still so uncomfortable hahdbdbdb.

it also just makes me sad that we have introjects of things that had such long lasting effects on us as a child. just thinking about how much something hurt us that it became ingrained in our brain from such a young age :(

(we don’t need advice or anything, just tysm for letting us rant 💛)

-🌟🫙

That's what this blog is for, rant all you need to <3

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

TW: sh, trauma, ideation, delusions

Hi, I'm the host of a questioning system (we're pretty sure we're a system, though. The jokes are too real now, and it's been years.)

Uh.. I was labeled problematic in my system for a good while due to being a trauma holder. There was a while where I was dealing and processing the trauma that I'm holding, not only from source but from irl, too. My experience with it was terrible. The others would avoid me and hardly speak to me because of how often I'd burst out screaming and wailing and causing harm to myself and my surroundings.

For a while, I think our brain kept me front stuck, and the homey front room turned into a dark and cold void. I struggled with SH and ideation, as well as paranoia and hallucinations/delusions. Every now and then, I'd see the others, but I'd feel so guilty because I knew I was making them uncomfortable.

I could feel how often they held back from snapping at me, which im grateful for, but it also makes me feel terrible knowing that they felt that way. It added fear to my mind to think and believe that they'd hurt me for being in pain.

It's gotten better now. Our irl partner has been really supportive, and I'm no longer front stuck. The other alters and I are communicating better, and the front room has gone back to normal. But it's still in the back of mind of how... inconvenient I was towards the others. I guess I'm still trying to heal and to actually come to terms with the delusions and paranoia I had and how they aren't actually true...

-Cinny

I'm so sorry you went through that, struggling with mental health sucks. I'm so incredibly proud of you for pushing through <3