prosepetal - Tumblr blog

[prosepetal]

She is so dear to me…

[prosepetal]

He is literally just my little guy. My Doctor fr.

[prosepetal]

New Year :)

[prosepetal]

ok SORRY JEAN I'm gonna be mean to u a lil bit

but I just think it would be sooooooo spicy and ouchy if like option A Harry and Jean were together in some hashtag It's Complicated capacity before Harry loses his memory but what I kinda like better is option B where Jean at some point got brave enough to shoot his shot with Harry and Harry turned him down. The reasons could vary but it's definitely at least in part due to not being over Dora + substance abuse/mental health shit, and I'd be willing to believe a pre-canon Harry as either deeply closeted or in denial about his sexuality. So due to All Of The Above I'm imagining that pre-canon Harry didn't let Jean down easy, you know? I'm imagining he might've even tossed out some homophobic shit about not being Like That and maybe even stating he was disgusted at Jean for thinking about it. (I don't think he actually is, but I think he's scared to admit that and in pain about his love life in general and most importantly Not Sober and....shit got said.)

I'm thinking Jean either badly tried to play it off as a joke or, hell, maybe Harry was intoxicated enough that he doesn't even remember the convo took place at all--though he's never lost ALL his memories before, I imagine it was common that he had blackouts and lost time--and Jean is never ever going to remind him. He's going to nurse his broken heart and just try his damnedest to stop having feelings for Harry...and if he never quite manages to get there? No one else has to know. So THEN. So then. The Hanged Man case happens. And Harry comes back Different. Worse, he comes back with Kim in tow. And this new Harry doesn't know how to NOT look at Lieutenant Kitsuragi like he hung the goddamn moon in the sky. Follows him around like a lost puppy and hangs on his every word, soaking up his attention like fresh spring rain in the desert. Full out fucking /blushes/ whenever the Lieutenant deigns to praise him. Any progress Jean had been making on the 'get over the fact that Harrier Du Bois thinks the idea of fucking men is disgusting' front is shattered. Now he's dealing with the far harsher reality that Harry is apparently fine with fucking men--and Kitsuragi /is/ fucking him, Jean would bet every last centim he has on it--it's just that, apparently, /Jean/ was the problem. (spoilers tho Jean was Not the problem it was All The Other Shit and Harry Du Bois now has Sobriety and Two Hands but oh boy they've got a long way to go before any of them figure all that out)

[prosepetal]

i’m starting to realize the “friendship where we bully each other” thing is a complicated subject for me, because as a survivor of bullying and my interests being mocked for basically my entire life, i don’t really find it funny or endearing when pals do it. i don’t mind gentle insults and inside jokes, but idk, there has to be a point where you go “maybe i shouldn’t cut on my friend’s new oc or special interest” and stop yourself. i think we should all try a little harder to know that boundary and not put our friends in those situations

[prosepetal]

disco is very blunt when it comes to discussing how Harry's unhealthy relationship with his sexuality is based in his internalized homophobia and relentless fixation with being punished and degraded.

he’s a man who's very obsessed with hurting himself. meanwhile there's a half light check that straight up states he’s been sexually assaulted. electrochemistry tells us that he basically can’t have sex without being intoxicated because it’s too scary. In addition to dialogue about his piss and autoerotic asphyxiation kinks really driving home just how deeply solitary his sexual experiences are. it’s just. there’s a lot there

he has traumatic flashbacks when he’s hugged. this isn’t a man who has a healthy relationship with physical contact. it’s implied he hasn’t been held since his wife left him

thoughts like Rigorous Self Critique really drive home just how far he goes to hurt himself. the thought is somewhat dressed up in self improvement language but in practice it’s all about Harry literally sustaining his health through self flagellation. and in the process it shows you that while it’s an incredibly toxic mindset that’s stunting his growth and deeply hurting him, it is a coping mechanism that gets him through the day

and like DE's addiction mechanic I found myself relying on those boosts from failing checks as I was playing

[prosepetal]

could've been them but she kept playing

[original]

[prosepetal]

"Should Betty come back or should Simon learn to move on and live without her" false dichotomy. she should stay a chaos god and they should fuck nasty

[prosepetal]

Hes so silly

[prosepetal]

[prosepetal]

✨ buddies for life 🥒

[prosepetal]

After years of being off this site, I'm finally back, so why not make a little introduction.

Hello! I'm kiana/addict, I'm a multi media illustrator and storyboard artist! I'm currently in my last year of art school and I love to make work revolving all things lively and fun! Alot of my work takes inspiration from cartoons and anime, something I grew up watching.

Hope you all enjoy watching my journey of growth and creation and thank you for any support💜

All of my socials are linked in my description so feel free to check out my other work!!

[prosepetal]

Bookstore dates are so 4000 years ago

[prosepetal]

AT doodles!!

[prosepetal]

A murdoc for your troubles

[prosepetal]

Gift for my sister :)

[prosepetal]

Allow the ground to find its brutal way to me.

If I should fall on that day, I only pray, don’t fall away from me..

(I, Carrion (Icarian) ~Unreal Unearth ~Hozier)