proxykiwi

[proxykiwi]

Friendly reminder that 1200 calories is the recommended amount for a 5 year old

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✨Audentes fortuna iuvat!✨

This was incredibly fun to draw! I love this game so much 😭

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My rice cooker can be trusted to cook delicious rice and tell the time incorrectly.

tell me the appliance that is your best friend ever in the kitchen

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Spent 10 months on the cross-stitch, and 1 afternoon teaching myself video editing 🤣 enjoy!

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had some very specific things i wanted to work on this weekend and got possessed by the specter of undercut lae'zel instead 🤦

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what i want to know is how she manages to peel the eggs with those nails. That's some insane skill right there.

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@heretherebebookdragons furry fiber helpers! Very helpful!

My littlest weaving assistant.

Not pictured: her nipping at my toes when I try to treadle, like the worlds pointiest game of whack a mole lolllll

[proxykiwi]

Another worldbuilding application of the "two layer rule": To create a culture while avoiding The Planet Of Hats (the thing where a people only have one thing going for them, like "everyone wears a silly hat"): You only need two hats.

Try picking two random flat culture ideas and combine them, see how they interact. Let's say taking the Proud Warrior Race - people who are all about glory in battle and feats of strength, whose songs and ballads are about heroes in battle and whose education consists of combat and military tactics. Throw in another element: Living in diaspora. Suddenly you've got a whole more interesting dynamic going on - how did a people like this end up cast out of their old native land? How do they feel about it? How do they make a living now - as guards, mercenaries? How do their non-combatants live? Were they always warrior people, or did they become fighters out of necessity to fend for themselves in the lands of strangers? How do the peoples of these lands regard them?

Like I'm not shitting, it's literally that easy. You can avoid writing an one-dimensional culture just by adding another equally flat element, and the third dimension appears on its own just like that. And while one of the features can be location/climate, you can also combine two of those with each other.

Let's take a pretty standard Fantasy Race Biome: The forest people. Their job is the forest. They live there, hunt there, forage there, they have an obnoxious amount of sayings that somehow refer to trees, woods, or forests. Very high chance of being elves. And then a second common stock Fantasy Biome People: The Grim Cold North. Everything is bleak and grim up there. People are hardy and harsh, "frostbite because the climate hates you" and "being stabbed because your neighbour hates you" are the most common causes of death. People are either completely humourless or have a horrifyingly dark, morbid sense of humour. They might find it funny that you genuinely can't tell which one.

Now combine them: Grim Cold Bleak Forest People. The summer lasts about 15 minutes and these people know every single type of berry, mushroom and herb that's edible in any fathomable way. You're not sure if they're joking about occasionally resorting to eating tree bark to survive the long dark winter. Not a warrior people, but very skilled in disappearing into the forest and picking off would-be invaders one by one. Once they fuck off into the woods you won't find them unless they want to be found.

You know, Finland.

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okay but is the conclave discussing conclave (2024)

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Something about Viktor and Jayce waking up and cuddling in bed idk. I was sleep deprived and finished this at 6am in the morning after being up all night. So that’s why the lighting doesn’t make the most sense.

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the sun and the stars 🌙✨

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I SHOT THE HEAD OFF THE CPR MANNEQUIN WHAT THE HELL

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Bees are also wildlife, please DO NOT FEED BEES HONEY. The honey may contain diseases that could, worst case scenario, spread to a hive. The usefulness of feeding bees sugar water is debatable. If they're honey bees, you're watering down someone's honey production. Other types of bees are probably better helped with a nice amount of flowers and nesting sites than with the incidental drink of sugar water.

I’ve been seeing quite a few phony “wildlife rescue” videos recently, so I just want to put out this quick PSA:

- don’t “save” wild prey animals from predators. just don’t. even if the prey animal is cute. even if the predator is scary or gross.

- if you find a baby deer all on its own, it’s doing fine. deer naturally leave their fawns alone for extended periods of time. leave it alone. mama will come back, and she can take care of baby much better than you can.

- if, however, you find a fawn with heavy, visible open wounds, or if mom has a carcass nearby, then you can call a qualified wildlife rehab center. do NOT bring it into your house and try to raise it yourself

- don’t try and raise ANY wild animals yourself, actually. The only exception I would give would be like, jumping spiders or earthworms

- don’t touch wild animals. not even if they come up to you. not even babies. ESPECIALLY not babies.

- don’t feed wild animals. this can cause them to expect food from humans, which can be disastrous if they don’t get it

In general, just observe wild animals from a respectful distance. That’s it. That’s all you have to do.

[proxykiwi]

@whumpay Day 4 - Toxic Relationship

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Patreon | Ko-Fi

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biggest reason i make so many flop posts on here is because everything i do reeks of the desperation to make a popular tumblr post. this is deliberate, because it is what protects me from ACTUALLY making a popular tumblr post. so long as i crave it, tumblr fame will never find me. it is only when i turn away, and accept my fate of obscurity, that people will lay their eyes upon me. and it WILL be because i tripped and fell on my stupid face while i was turning

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what if the whole jianghu was on grindr actually

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In a last ditch attempt to save your people, you offer your life to an ancient god of war and blood. Unfortunately, your translation of the ancient text was a bit off. You're married now.