qkyuts

[qkyuts]

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou

[qkyuts]

“you will never be too much for someone who can’t get enough of you”

— Unknown

[qkyuts]

A healthy relationship is where two independent people just make a deal that they will help the other person be the best version of themselves. Unknown

[qkyuts]

June 10, 2025

Today feels especially heavy — deadlines piling up, a power outage, and this inexplicable weight pressing on my chest. I woke up early with something heavy in my heart, and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Now the exhaustion has truly settled in — maybe it’s the stress that’s been lingering quietly since November 2024.

Lately, I’ve been moving through a storm of emotions. I hope you can bear with me. I try to be strong for everything and everyone, but when it comes to you — I’m soft in ways I never imagined I could be. With you, it feels okay to be vulnerable, to let my guard down. You make me believe that it’s safe to be soft, to be seen, and to be understood. And in your presence, I don’t mind admitting to myself that it’s okay to bend — because you hold me so gently.

Please be patient with my moods. I’m still adjusting, still figuring things out. But I promise — I’m enjoying the journey, especially because I’m doing it with you. These are parts of me I rarely show — my rawness, my fears — but now, I’ve laid all my cards on the table. It’s scary, but I’m choosing to trust. I feel like there are no more walls between us. Even if I sometimes try to protect myself out of habit, I know I’m safe with you.

I’m grateful every day for the simple things: your smile, your laughter, even your little tantrums. Most of all, I’m thankful for how deeply you love — in ways I never thought possible. A love that gives and gives, even when it has very little left to hold onto.

With you, I’m all in. Whether I win or lose, I’m willing to take the risk — because I believe in us. I want us to win, always. I want us to succeed together, to build something lasting. And no matter what odds or storms come our way, may we hold each other through them — fully, fiercely, and faithfully.

Ours is ours — and that will always be enough. 💙

[qkyuts]

Every day in this new era of mine—this season of constantly telling myself, "How could I have missed you?"—I realize how close I was to losing you, in the simplest yet saddest way: by brushing off little things about you, by ignoring signs I didn’t understand back then.

Looking back, there were moments—subtle ones—when something from you reached out to me. The way you tried adding me on social media a few times… I never really thought much of it. Who would’ve imagined I’d end up loving you this deeply, this overwhelmingly?

It’s always like that, isn’t it? The most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time and place. It’s kind of funny—but beautiful. Among all the stories I hold close, ours has become my favorite. And you—you’ve become my favorite person. The most important part of my day. The one I find myself looking for constantly, minute after minute.

I’m doing things now I never imagined myself doing—soft things, vulnerable things—things that show a side of me I rarely let out. With you, I guess that softness might just be my kryptonite. NAKS! 😅

But seriously, you’ve turned my life from just normal into something else entirely—not chaotic in a bad way, but a beautiful chaos. A kind of messy wonder where every day feels like an adventure. Full of surprises. And I’m learning to embrace all of it—slowly, joyfully.

Because everything about you… is everything.

[qkyuts]

Sometimes, the quiet things are the biggest in our hearts.

When I lost the ability to hear, I eventually discovered something truly powerful: our deepest thoughts don’t need volume to be heard. They ripple through the silence, gentle like a whisper, yet they echo the loudest within us.

The wisest truths often come in the still moments between heartbeats—when we’re brave enough to really listen.

[qkyuts]

I love the thought of you being gentle with me, especially when I know I’m the one who’s rough around the edges. Your quiet patience—the way you wait for me every single day, even on the nights when work keeps me late—never goes unnoticed. I feel it. I carry it.

I appreciate the growth, the little shifts in your world that you say came from loving me. How being with me changed how you see the everyday. In you, I found things I never thought were possible. You turned ordinary hours into something that felt like magic. You made the heavy days feel survivable. You brought calm to my chaos, turned it into a story worth telling—a life worth choosing, every single day.

I’m grateful for the mornings I get to wake up and see you. And even more for the nights when you're the last face I see before sleep. And God, the panic that hits me when I open my phone and you’re not there—not on the screen—that quiet fear, that ache, that sudden longing... that’s how I know it’s real.

@JCE 🌻❤️💎✈️🍔

[qkyuts]

As I watch you now, peacefully sleeping on the other side of the screen, all my fears, doubts, and confusion seem to fade away. Just knowing I have you makes everything feel lighter. I once believed I was too strong, too brave—clinging tightly to who I thought I was. But you… you are the soft spot I never knew I had.

With you, everything feels natural—real. There’s no need to explain it to myself or to anyone else. I just want to feel it, to live in every moment, every heartbeat.

The timing feels so right. If this had happened a year ago, I don’t think we would’ve made it. Back then, we were both too broken. But now? The people we are today—stronger, softer, more whole—are nothing like who we used to be.

I never imagined I could love someone in a way that defied everything I thought I preferred. But with you, I don’t mind. You may have bent what I thought were my boundaries, but what I feel for you is unlike anything I’ve felt before.

This time, we’re in it together. We’re on the same page, walking beside each other—not one behind the other. You are beautifully made, perfectly timed, and if I believe in anything, it’s that you were prepared just for me.

Please know—I’m ready to do the craziest things with you. Not to prove my love, but because with you, I get to be my truest self. No masks. No filters. Just me—with you. i love you babi! Good Morning!

[qkyuts]

I recently told myself that I need to write more often—not just to track my progress, but to remember how I was during certain moments. I want to hold on to my experiences, whether they were good or bad. I made a promise to myself not to delete anything, especially when I’m upset or down. Even if I forget what I wrote or how I was at the time, I want those parts of me to stay.

Writing, to me, is like taking pictures—but instead of capturing faces and places, it captures thoughts and emotions. Moments that are hard to express out loud somehow find their place on the page. As they say, when you’re full of thoughts and emotions, just write. That’s what I’ve been trying to hold on to.

I don’t even really delete posts anyway—it just crossed my mind because babi is adjusting, and I get that. 😉 I actually had an old blog I can’t access anymore because I lost the password, but it’s still out there for anyone to read.

I remember a friend once asked, “When did you know that something shifted with her, even if it wasn’t mutual?” And I just said, it was when she found my blog. She read everything—every unfiltered, hidden piece of me that no one else knew about. It felt like it was just me, my words, my world—and she found it. That was the breaking point. From then on, I knew I could no longer hide who I was or the mess I carried while growing. All of it was out there, and somehow, she saw it, and it changes everything.

[qkyuts]

Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed by so many things. My procrastination has gotten worse, and I’ve had to really push myself just to finish reports and write-ups. With only about two months left, I know I need to start preparing my mental health for the intense challenge of completing my dissertation. This year has been incredibly tough—I often find myself wishing I could just sleep and escape it all.

Despite having had plenty of breaks, something still feels missing. I’m still trying to figure out what that is. Honestly, more than anything right now, I just want to rest. Deeply and peacefully.

[qkyuts]

I’m proud of you—not because you’re perfect, the smartest, or the most beautiful—but because you’re becoming exactly who you’re meant to be. I see your heart, your growth, your quiet courage. You live with purpose, and that’s what makes you truly beautiful. I don’t love you for what you achieve, but for how you stay true, keep going, and walk in your truth. That’s more than enough—and that’s why I’ll always be proud of you.

In all days and in all ways, I’ll always be proud of you. And I’ll always be grateful to have you around. i love you! 🌻❤️✈️🍔

[qkyuts]

All the things I’ve been praying to God for—I can barely recall asking for a person. For the longest time, I’ve been so focused on my career, my personal growth, finding peace in my space, and simply being in love with life… and with myself. In small and quiet ways, I’ve been winning. In some parts of my dreams, I’ve also been failing—but I’ve come to understand that failure is sometimes just redirection. And God never really says no; He simply says, not yet. We just have to wait.

Waiting for your season to come is a gift we give to ourselves. And then… there was you. Strangely, I wasn’t waiting for someone. I didn’t even ask. But I remember praying, “if marriage is meant for me, let it come lightly—without confusion, without hesitation.” And while it didn’t happen the way I imagined, I did pray for one thing: that if someone is to come into my life, let that person be someone who understands my dreams, my heart, my silence—someone who can love me more than I am capable of loving myself.

I never named anyone. I just prayed. No one in particular… until you showed up.

I have never really opened myself this much—especially about the deeply personal things in my life. But you changed that. You taught me that love is more than butterflies and sweet words; it’s patience, selflessness, presence. You made me realize that sometimes, I have to think of your feelings even before mine. That real victory isn’t found in accomplishments or what others see—it’s in having one person who fully, unwaveringly believes in you.

You taught me to be patient with love again. You taught me to stand tall and proud of what we have—because there is absolutely nothing wrong with loving loudly and truly. You taught me to embrace things that, deep down, I’ve always wanted but was too afraid to admit. You taught me to trust—in myself, in love, in “us.”

And for all that… I am endlessly grateful.

I wasn’t looking for you, but you found me. I wasn’t searching for love, but you gave it so gently, so sincerely, that I couldn’t help but receive it.

Our connection—I know in my soul—is something deeper than words. Something that feels ancient, as if our hearts have known each other long before this lifetime. Every time you look at me, I feel it. Our photos capture it too—something only we and our hearts can truly understand.

I wrote this not so I could delete it on a day when I’m upset or hurt or confused. I wrote this to remind myself of this—of us. That in this lifetime, I have you. And I will forever carry the things you’ve taught me.

Gusto kitang ipanalo hanggang sa huli, babs.

Thank you for taking a chance on me, on us.

Please don’t be just another chapter in my life—

Finish the whole book with me… until the very last page.

I love you. So much. Always!

[qkyuts]

Sometimes the past comes back—not because it wants to stay, but maybe because it never really moved on. Maybe it still clings to what once was, or maybe it realizes it can’t find anyone quite like you.

But the truth is, no two people are exactly alike. It’s never really about who moved on first or last. What truly matters is who’s willing to stay after we’ve been broken… who chooses us, not in our best, but in our most fragile state.

But more than that, I think it’s about us being ready. Ready to heal. Ready to commit. Ready to start over. And honestly, starting over is the bravest and hardest thing anyone can do.

And here we are…

Still writing our story—unexpectedly, in the most unexpected place, at the most unexpected time. How could I not try to make this work? How could I not take the risk?

You are rare. And pursuing us is still the best decision I’ve ever made. I don’t want to worry about what could go wrong. I just want to live in this love, to grow in it, to discover the beautiful parts of ourselves that come alive because of each other.

Yes, in you, I found a reflection of my younger self—braver, louder, lighter. That’s probably why you had my heart so easily. And now, I can finally say it with no hesitation: this time, it’s not confusion. It’s not curiosity. This time, it’s real.

God made you beautifully—for me. And I know He was preparing us both all along.

You are worth all the love. Even the pain.

I want to live this life, in this lifetime, more beautifully—with you.

My love will always be greater than the fears, doubts, and heartaches that may come our way.

I love you—a thousand times and back, babs!

[qkyuts]

Honestly, I’ve been having a hard time managing my emotions lately. I miss Babi so much—it’s overwhelming. To cope, I’ve been burying myself in reports, and while it helps to keep my mind busy, the moment I stop, it all hits me like a wave. It’s been two weeks since our epic airport fail—our plan didn’t quite go as expected, especially since we literally lost track of each other at the airport! Nagkawalaan pa kami kung nasaan na ako at siya!

But eventually, we found each other, and everything seemed to slow down in that moment. Though I noticed she could barely look me in the eye—maybe there were things she was feeling that I wasn’t meant to know just yet. Still, that day was full of firsts, and despite everything, it was a beautiful experience—new, uncertain, a little chaotic, but meaningful.

I know I’m taking a risk with this journey—not just because she deserves it, but because I believe I do too. I deserve this kind of love. I’ve redefined what love means to me, especially after past mistakes that left me jaded and disconnected from what love should really feel like.

It’s still early to say where this is going—nothing in life is guaranteed, after all. But what I do know is this: I’m embracing this chapter, whatever comes next. My heart feels alive, and for that, I’m deeply grateful. I wasn’t even looking for love—I wasn’t even expecting it—but here I am, feeling it fully.

And I just… miss you so much, Babs.

@JCE 🌻❤️💎✈️🍔

[qkyuts]

I was frantically searching for my bus ticket, rummaging through everything—my bag, laptop bag, wallet, pouch—just about every pocket I had, but I still couldn’t find it. I started to worry about how I’d complete my liquidation and reimbursement without it.

I opened my laptop, I saw this card my person had sent me last April 12, marking our first monthsary. I never imagined she’d go out of her way to send a card, flowers, and even a cake—especially while I was away in Davao City for work. It was overwhelming, in the best way.

In that moment, I paused and thought: how can someone be this sincere, and real? Despite everything, she’s been all-in—pushing for us like she’s never been hurt before. She’s not just trying; she’s truly doing the work to make us work.

And that made me realize—what we have is rare. Something worth holding on to. And I want to fight for it too. Why wouldn’t I?

@JCE 🌻❤️💎✈️🍔

[qkyuts]

These long hours on video call—sometimes they feel like a kind of torture, knowing I can’t reach out, hold you, or fall asleep next to you. It’s been two weeks now, and each day feels a little heavier than the last. We’ve had our share of disagreements, misunderstandings, and the challenge of adjusting. We both tried to understand each other. And somehow, those long calls brought us closer—they made the distance a little more bearable.

I’m truly grateful for this time, for the love and effort we’ve both poured in. Even though I’ve been unwell and couldn’t always meet your needs, I’ve felt your love in every moment you stayed with me—patiently, on the other side of the screen. I miss you deeply, babi.

@JCE 🌻❤️💎✈️🍔

[qkyuts]

Everything between us happened so quickly, yet it felt like I’d known you forever—even if I couldn’t pinpoint when or how. It’s almost funny how the stars aligned so perfectly, how everything fell into place so naturally.

And now, here we are, seeing each other again—this time not as strangers with a past, but as something more. Something we can finally call us.

@JCE 🌻❤️💎✈️🍔