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qualitywhispersarcade · 2 years ago

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wait for me...

this is a book I started writing a couple months ago and I don’t think it will ever get published so i’m posting it here.

This is chapter one lmk if you want chapter 2 and so on.

Sound molecules only travel through air. The sound goes into the oxygen and into our heads.

It feels like I'm underwater and everyone is shouting for me to come up for air, but why? It's so loud up there where there's oxygen. The burning in my lungs sets in and I realize that oxygen is needed for me to speak or breath but I can’t. I can’t speak or breathe when I'm underwater. I need to get out, but it's so loud up there where there is oxygen.

Loliana. “ Hey, um I just wanted to let you know that they tend to lie about what happened and exaggerate the experience, so don’t take her too seriously the first couple weeks. They also seem to have a reputation of acting out when they get home just a forewarning.”

“ I thought lola was the top of her class?”

“ She is but it happens to the best of them, I'm sure she’ll be fine though.”

“ I want to go home now, please.”

“ Of course honey one second, I’m talking to mom right now.” I stare out into a wall behind Sister Colleen's head and pretend to listen to what she says next. I can’t wait to be off these fucking pills. They make me want to rip my face off. “ The ‘happy pills’ as we like to call them make her less… frantic. She has really bad anxiety and these help her relax.”

“ By cutting all my emotions off.” I mumble not really wanting to be heard right now.

“ See exaggerations like that happen frequently after being released.” At the age of 13 I was sent to church camp for ‘making a better society’ or whatever. All that happens here is they tell you to shut off your emotions and learn to be polite. That means yes means yes and no means yes, and maybe means yes and please no let me go means yes. That’s just the way of the world I was taught. Saying no to anything was disrespectful and would result in getting hit or locked up. Growing up I wasn’t a bad kid at all. I went to church and never talked to boys. I was always getting good grades and being respectful. I got sent anyway, I learnt that my family had ties to the royal family of Beligia and Westraci ( The two kingdoms were merged into one after the 1344 war.) But it would have to be a miracle and catastrophe for me to even be a princess. So i never really thought of it much, My family was rich always has been. We have two main cleaners from the house that live with us. Mari and Gio, they are married I think but I haven’t been home for three years so I’m not entirely sure. My sister Elizabeth also went to the camp but she left a year before I came so we were apart for a total of 6 years. I love her, she is my best friend.

“When you get inside please don’t make a big scene like you always do.” I walked into the house and saw everyone waiting for me, my sister, my dad and the cleaners. My own welcoming committee. I walked in and not wanting to “make a scene” I simply said hello and walked to my room. As soon as I got inside and laid on my bed the tears fell. I’m too dramatic, I’m too emotional and weak, I'm just too much. I hear a knock on the door and quickly wipe my tears away. It’s too late. I've been spotted, but it’s not my dad like I thought it was Gio. He was a kind older man like mid thirties. He sported a kind gentle smile and he had a sad, glamoring look in his eyes. He knew.

“You can cry without hiding it, ladybug.” I never really talked to him before but he always asked me how I slept and told me to have good dreams. He was kind, the kindest guy i’d ever met but I thought he just wanted a tip but he never asked for anything. Maybe he was just stupid and too kind.

“I’m not crying.” I challenge him.

“ Okay, I brought you some water. I know you might not feel comfortable with me yet but I just think your dad mistreats you and your sister and I hate seeing it so if you want you can talk to me about anything, Okay?” Then it starts again, I’m crying again. Not sobbing or shaking like usual, just slow tears rolling down my chin and the front of my head hurts. I take the water and calm down.

“How do you know?” How do you know that I'm hurt? How do you know I want to talk to someone? How do you know that I need you? He knew.

“ I don’t but I do now. Get some sleep before dinner please, ladybug,” I just stare at him until he leaves and he closes the door. My dad doesn’t close the door.

I woke up feeling awake and ready. I went down to dinner and sat in the chair across from my sister who looked way too happy to be there.

“ Can I go to a sleepover at Tiffany's house after dinner?” She asked

“ Um I don’t know, can you take your sister with you then?” my mom responds.

“Yeah whatever she can come if she wants. Do you want to?”

“Sure yeah.” No thanks.

“ You can go after you eat so eat.” My dad. After dinner I pack a sleepover bag and get my makeup and hair ready.

“You do know we are not really sleeping over at tiff’s right?”

“ Yeah, duh.” No, I did not know that. Where are we going then?

“We are going to Jessie’s party and then sleeping there okay?” Reading my mind.

“Okay sounds good.” I want to stay home.

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