quantumboogaloo

[quantumboogaloo]

Hey just so we’re all aware, any sort of “gatekeeping” being asexual or aromantic is not allowed here. I will block you.

For one; it’s none of your business and if it isn’t hurting you hurting them or hurting anyone else don’t make it your business

For two: we have bigger issues then “oh but they have sex sometimes so they can’t be on the asexual SPECTRUM”

Also stop tagging me in your posts if you shitting on other asexuals and aromantics and their identities. I’m not going to participate in that bs

Also^2 there are some asexual and aromantic identities that I’m like “wtf is this” too but that doesn’t mean I’m a fucking exclusionary about it. I’m just like “kinda weird but go off ig” which is my reaction to mspec lesbians as well (y’all are valid; I just don’t understand it and probably never will. You’re VALID I just personally don’t understand it. Like I don’t understand brain surgery doesn’t mean I don’t believe in it)

[quantumboogaloo]

New response to the things people say about aspecs that (often accidentally) treat us like a monolith:

We can, but we don't have to.

"Aros can date." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aros can be loveless." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aces can have sex." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aces can masturbate." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aces avoid sex." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aroaces can be in relationships." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aroaces can be non-partnering." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aces can write smut." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aces can hate smut." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aces can love smut." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aros can ship." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aros can hate shipping." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aces can be sex-favorable." / We can, but we don't have to. "Aces can be sex-repulsed." We can, but we don't have to.

So often, these kinds of phrases are used to try and explain the nuances of the aromantic and asexual spectrums. However, the emphasis is often pulled away from the word "can", and instead treated as if it's a "must", treating us as if we are all the same. Aromanticism and asexuality are labels we use to kind of group ourselves, but no two people on the a-spectrums will ever be the same.

Sometimes, I feel like, as a whole, we tend to swing too far to either side, and it goes back and forth between romance-favorable aros feeling excluded or underappreciated, and romance-averse and romance-repulsed aros feeling excluded or underappreciated. Same thing, goes back and forth between sex-favorable aces feeling excluded or underappreciated, and sex-averse and sex-repulsed aces feeling excluded or underappreciated. I think this is completely unintentional, but it happens.

In the end, every single person in general is going to have a different life experience. Regardless of where you fall on the spectrums of asexuality and/or aromanticism, you are appreciated.

No one is going to experience aromanticism or asexuality in the exact same way, and that's beautiful.

We can do whatever we want, but we don't have to.

[quantumboogaloo]

The sentences "Asexuals can still have sex" and "Aromantics can still date" need to go up on the high shelf for everyone except aces and aros talking about their own experiences. From now on, everyone else has to use the revolutionary new phrase "Asexuals and aromantics can do whatever the fuck they want forever."

[quantumboogaloo]

I am not tolerating ace-spec exclusionists...

Their arguments are so terrible God dammit

"Oh no asexuality isn't a spectrum you're just not as horny and sex-obsessed as society says"

Sweetie, learn the difference between horniness and attraction, you're embarrassing yourself.

"Zero isn't a spectrum. Either you're asexual or you're not."

Never mind the fact that there are an infinite decimals which can be rounded of to zero. Terrible analogy.

"Not everyone feels the same level of attraction. You aren't ace, you're just allo"

Umm, do you hear yourself? The fact that not everyone feels the same degree of attraction is exactly why asexuality is a spectrum; some people can go for ages without feeling attraction, and when they do it's barely noticeable. Some people attraction oonly under very specific circumstances, and that too, may be weak. Lera to acknowledge experiences ffs, it's A SPECTRUM.

Ace-spec exclusionists are stupid, intolerant bigots, and the rest of us will not welcome them.

[quantumboogaloo]

Just saw a terf in an ace tag (super barf) so yeah aphobia and acephobia go super duper hand in hand with transphobia so you actually can't be pro-ace and also anti-trans people (the link below has some info on it) and I will side with my trans siblings over any and every terf ever. <2 to all trans people and fuck you terfs :)

Also also being transphobic is inherently sexist and anti-feminist and the fact that people don't see this is mind blowing but here we are.

Warning for acephobia and transphobia-- this article includes bigoted tweets in order to discuss why people are saying them.

[quantumboogaloo]

Exactly. This is why shipping aroace characters bugs me (if it’s not an aspec doing the shipping).

An aroace in a relationship doesn’t look the same as an allo. It’s going to be different. In what ways varies highly, but don’t write it the same as an allo relationship.

How does being aroace affect the character’s relationship? It’s a question that is very rarely addressed when shipping an aroace character (unless an aspec is doing the shipping).

Please, explore the interesting nuances, or don’t ship them, or at the very least put a disclaimer so I know not to read or view whatever. Don’t tag “aroace X” and then treat them like they’re allo.

I’ve spoken about this with a fellow a-spec friend recently, & Imma say it here, but the thing that allorose people don’t understand when they try bringing up the “aroace people can still date tho!!!” is like…

Yes. Yes I can. But not Like That™️ not the allonormative way of doing things.

In fact, I would rather forsake romantic & sexual relationships entirely than to EVER engage in them Like That™️

And that’s an important thing, in MY opinion, to bring up in the topic of how aroace ppl can still engage in these types of things. Because allorose people have this very allonormative way of thinking a-spec people operate in these relationships.

[quantumboogaloo]

“You hate the HTTYD remake because of racism” “you hate the new Snow White because racism” “you hate the new (insert live action remake here) because racism!!”

Have you considered I maybe just hate remaking the same old stories and films for easy money? Have you considered I just don’t like capitalism? Have you considered (new)Disney is shit?

[quantumboogaloo]

Reminder that

Asexuality and Aromanticism

are

✨Spectrums✨

[quantumboogaloo]

aro & ace book lists masterpost

#aspec books / aro & ace books database (tinyurl.com/aspecbooks)

A couple notes:

These are books I have read, with the occasional exception. I always state when I have not read a book I’m including in a post. May add to and edit posts when I read more relevant books.

I mostly include books I recommend, but to varying levels (and sometimes I'll include some I dislike but they might be worthwhile for someone else) There will of course be some of my personal bias to what I prefer (SFF, YA contemporary)

I prioritise books with aspec main characters. Will include the occasional side character if I have a gap to fill and it’s reasonably significant and/or the author is aspec. Like, would it be worth it to read the book just for this character?

however, when it's a main POV character, that doesn't necessarily mean it's extensively explored within the story, sometimes it's just a brief mention

The things I am choosing to group by are based on commonalities I’ve noticed. If I group by one thing but not something similar it's because there's not enough I've read to make a worthwhile post!

Most posts encompass ace & aro & the spectrums (because there's a lot of overlap in the books) but some are one or the other, and I've generally marked them as such here

sometimes I say [id] and sometimes [id]-coded in the descriptions - for modern settings that usually means the difference between uses-the-identity-word-explicitly or not using the word; and in fantasy/historical the difference between a clear description and like...vaguer allusions to it. I realise this is not exactly what coding means but I'm just trying to differentiate clearly but briefly because in many of these books it is only vaguely alluded to!

under the cut, as I will be frequently updating as I post more

asterix* & smalltext means the same post is being linked for a second time (for example if it's gender and genre specific, it might be under both sections)

identity

gender/sexuality

trans part 1 / part 2 / part 3

nonbinary (YA/MG)

nonbinary (adult/NA)

aroallo books

aroace girls (contemporary YA)

ace girls (contemporary YA)

ace girls (YA low sff)

ace boys (YA contemporary/real world)

aroace men/boys

demisexual (YA contemporary)

relationship

queerplatonic

ace/ace

f/nb

f/f (ace, YA)

f/f (adult)

m/nb

m/m (ace, YA)

m/m (adult/NA)

other

autistic aspecs

aro books by authors of colour

aro books by Black authors

Indigenous authors

Black authors (YA)

Black authors (NA/adult)

Asian authors (YA)

Asian authors (NA/adult)

Latine authors

older (40+) characters

genre

broad

YA contemporary (aro)

YA contemporary (ace girls)*

YA contemporary (aroace girls)*

YA low sff (girls)*

YA speculative fiction (aro)

YA dark high fantasy

middle grade (aro)

adult: high fantasy (aro)

adult: historical/contemporary fantasy/etc (aro)

historical (1900-1990)

historical (1800s or earlier)

space (opera, or general space setting)

sci-fi (not set in space)

specific

assassins

dragons

fairytales

fey

ghosts

multiverse/portals

parents & parent/mentor figures

pirates

robots/cyborgs

TTRPG/DND inspired

university setting

vampires

format

Graphic novels

with illustrations

other/misc

global aro & ace books (where in the world they're set)

some no-romance books centering a friendship

YA books that centre a platonic friendship between a boy & girl, with no romance

a few fav aro books

[quantumboogaloo]

Considering the disgusting rhetoric that keeps getting posted in our tags, I implore all aspecs to spread positivity for people all across the asexual and aromantic spectrums.

This is an incredible, compassionate community, and it includes everyone on the spectrum, including

Asexuals who experience little sexual attraction (as per the accepted definition of asexuality)

Asexuals who experience sexual attraction in a non-normative way (as per the accepted definition of asexuality)

Asexuals who experience no sexual attraction (as per the accepted definition of asexuality)

Aromantics who experience little romantic attraction (as per the accepted definition of aromanticism)

Aromantics who experience romantic attraction in a non-normative way (as per the accepted definition of aromanticism)

Aromantics who experience no romantic attractions (as per the accepted definition of aromanticism)

Aegosexuals and Aegoromantics

Apothisexuals and Apothiromantics

Cupiosexuals and Cupioromantics

Demisexuals and Demiromantics

Fraysexuals and Frayromantics

Graysexuals and Grayromantics

And more!!!

You are all welcomed and appreciated in the aspec community. You are not pushing us* out of our spaces, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

*Us meaning asexuals and/or aromantics who experience a complete lack of sexual and/or romantic attraction. I refuse to call it being ""actually asexual"" for the reasons @aroacesafeplaceforall has outlined many a time

[quantumboogaloo]

It’s almost like educating with the goal of passing a singular standardized test at the end of the year, then forgetting everything to pass a different standardized test about different subjects the next year, and prioritizing school sports over actual academic resources is fucking stupid.

[quantumboogaloo]

[quantumboogaloo]

Surprise!! This blog is not terf friendly! Amazing!

- mods are all trans/gender queer/allies

- mods will take no shit

- Jamie does not care what you think of him and will tell you to eat dirt regardless of how long your reply/reblog is. He will TLDR that shit

[quantumboogaloo]

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

[quantumboogaloo]

weird al is bar none one of the single most talented musicians of the past fifty years. this is not a joke. his parodies span a wide range of genres and his original compositions range from deceptively simple to incredibly complex. his grasp of musical composition and theory is absolutely unparalleled.

a good example of this is the fact none of his parodies use pre-recorded instrumentals from the original songs. he transcribes the song BY EAR and then re-records it with his band. he literally reverse engineers music to parody it. i can’t even read music much less transcribe a song by ear.

tl;dr weird al is unironically, unequivocally one of if not the most skilled musicians to ever exist and people do not appreciate him enough

[quantumboogaloo]

my favorite subreddit is r/IsTodayFridayThe13th which makes a single post each day (Yes or No) answering the question. Every single Thursday the 12th everyone goes “This is ridiculous! I’ve been waiting too long for Friday the 13th. I’m not even going to bother checking this sub anymore; I’ve given up hope completely.” and it makes me laugh every single time

[quantumboogaloo]

Perry the platypus is my enemy. But I’m not like, evil, or something, he just keeps breaking through my window to stop me from doing ordinary things like washing the dishes or making the bed and everyone keeps calling me out for procrastinating and I always cry at them that, “It’s Perry, the platypus!” Nobody believes me. “Stop making excuses, it’s just a regular platypus.” I look behind me and Perry has taken off his hat and does that weird purring noise.